5

Dear Diary,

We are already on December 18 and Christmas is approaching, as well as the traditional masked ball. Matt was kind enough to invite me, which really made me happy because I love these kinds of events and I couldn't see myself going alone while everyone else will have a date, it would have been embarrassing . Lucky finally decided to move up a gear with Holly: he invited her to prom and she accepted.

I've always liked this kind of traditional events where women have to wear a long dress, unlike now, and the fact that everyone is masked.

My parents are more than proud of my brother and me, not a week goes by without a phone call from them. They even planned to come and visit us after Christmas, which obviously enchants me.

As for Jace, he comes home late at night even if we have class the next day and Haylay is almost every night at the chalet, and we can't say that she likes me. Jace is just as arrogant as ever and never misses an opportunity to let me know he hates me.

As for me, dear diary, I am happy to be here and to have found friends on whom I can count.

~ December 18, D-2 before the masked ball, 7:50 a.m. ~

I grab my bag that I had left lying on my chest of drawers the day before so that I could leave for the first hour of class of the day.

Today my outfit is simple, but elegant. I chose to wear a burgundy wool sweater that fades at my belly button accompanied by my high waisted black skinny jeans. As a result, my body is not visible to others. I slightly rolled up the bottom of the pants to bring out my black converse low tops.

I enter the room where my philosophy class is taking place, followed closely by my teacher. I don't have a particular great interest in philosophy, not that it's a subject that bothers me more than that, however I wouldn't go down this path for my higher education. What's more, I'm not particularly good at this subject, in fact I'm still average. We can simply say that it is not thanks to this course that I will have my diploma at the end of the year.

It's not that Sigmund Freud's interpretation of dreams bothers me, in fact I find it rather interesting, but it's more the questioning of Descartes that I find silly.

Seriously, what drug had he taken to wonder if his existence was real or not? How can we come to wonder if the table in front of us is not simply the fruit of our imagination? To tell you the truth, although most people on this planet would come to think that I am very foolish to doubt all these great thinkers, I just think that they were simply smokers of cannabis, drug addicts to opium and/or alcoholics who imaginedthings in their head.

My philosophy teacher is a little on, and I can imagine all philosophy teachers being that way, only the problem with him is that he says something class related and then he starts to stray into telling us about another thinker and then telling us about hispersonal life. When at the end of the lesson he asks us to raise our hands if we haven't understood anything, everyone raises their hands, which doesn't surprise me at all. Already that I, whom we can qualify as an excellent student, do not understand a single word of what he is trying to instill in us, the others in my class must be even more incomprehensible. The idea is not to be narcissistic, but to reveal a very real truth.

Today, the lesson focuses on a single question that the teacher asked at the beginning of the hour: - Are we slaves to our desires? .

I think we can qualify desire as a psychologically significant wish. desire is not a simple wish, but it is stronger and more present in us than any wish. I don't think I've ever desired a person or thing strong enough to enslave them. I mean, I never fell in love with a person so I never really wanted them. all I wanted before coming here was to come here, even if in the end, I was fine in my old school too. maybe it was just a wish after all, maybe I didn't want to come here that much. i also know that a lot of people talk about physical desire towards a person and that too i don't really know what it is, maybe if jace wasn't so arrogant, so hateful and so full of himself I would have liked him, after all, he doesn't have an unpleasant body toLook, no, it's his personality that's unpleasant. why do I have to think of him now? he's already ruining my life enough for me not to worry about him when he's not around. I trace with my blue pen the few words that go through my head on my sheet which is no longer blank. I didn't think I had so much to say about desire. I write all the ideas that come to mind for an hour and my sheet has become a real draft. but mister crazy, that's what I decided to name my philosophy teacher, didn't ask us for an essay only to write down on a sheet our ideas about this subject. I think he will read all our notes and give us a lesson on desire based on that. I could have really enjoyed philosophy in the end, if I had had a normal teacher. but our dear professor being what he is, philosophy will not be my favorite subject, nor even a pleasant subject. in fact, it's simply a subject where I can daydream for an hour without much discretion.

the bell rang, snapping me out of my reverie. I rush out of my room and head for my history room. luckily matt will be with me. I haven't spoken to him yet since I accepted his invitation. there will also be jace at this course, I would have liked so much not to have any common course with him already that I have to put up with his arrogance at the chalet, so hit me with his presence in class, no thank you. finally, I must already consider myself lucky not to have it in all my classes.

I enter the room and go sit in my place. Jace is already slumped in his chair, looking at me with his arrogant look and proud smile. i roll my eyes and turn to matt who keeps calling me.

- Hi  I said, happy to see him.

- Hey how are you ? answers Matt

- I'm doing well thanks

A second...

a video loads.

We exchange small talk while I prepare my things for the lesson which is about to begin when Mr. Richard, my history teacher, arrives a few minutes later.

Jace is sitting behind me, and I can feel his gaze on us, and it's heavy after all. I refrain from turning around, I'm sure it would bring him too much satisfaction. I don't want to be the cause of his smiles, although they are to die for, but he's far too irritable to want to please her.

The hour passes slowly, I don't really pay attention to what the teacher says, my mind is more focused on Friday's masquerade ball. I don't even think about the fact that we will also be on vacation on Friday, I can't wait to be at this evening. My mother often told me about this masquerade ball, she told me that it was one of those favorite parties the school organizes. She also advised me to know how to dance the waltz, it is the dance that she taught me the day she registered here. I've always dreamed of that day when a boy would ask me to be his date and Matt made that dream come true. Thanks to him, I will spend the most memorable evening of my little existence, finally I hope that he will live up to my expectations. That he will make me dance looking me in the eye, that he will tell me that I am the most magnificent of the evening, even if this is not necessarily the case. It's not that I want to have a more intimate relationship than I already have with Matt, just that's how I imagine my masquerade party. Even though I'm not going to prom with my prince like in the movies, I want Matt to make me feel special, in this case, like I'm his best friend.

I miss my mother and my father a lot, they told me a few weeks ago that they couldn't visit us at Christmas because they couldn't afford it. My mum is going to have to keep the store she runs open throughout the holidays, she says Christmas is the most profitable time so they decided to come and visit us after Christmas. This news saddened me a lot at the time, but it's not as if I wasn't going to see them all year, so I got over it.

The ringing snaps me out of my thoughts and my mind regains control of my body. I leave the classroom still somewhat in my thoughts when a high-pitched voice is heard behind me: Aubrey.

"Hey, hi Aubrey!" I said to him.

I'm really happy to see her, I love this girl, she doesn't care about boys, popular girls or the latest fashion, in fact she doesn't care about anything. Not that I don't like Bonnie, but her obsession with Jace is disturbing in the long run.

- Hey how are you ? , she replied

- Perfectly ! And you ? , I said

-  I'm fine, she replied.

- Do you have something planned tomorrow afternoon after school? , she asked me, crossing her arms on her chest, and her joyful smile

-  No, I don't think so, I tell him.

- And do you already have your outfit for the masquerade ball? , she asked me, letting out a small laugh.

I can totally see where she is coming from.

- No, I know I'm doing it quite late, I say honestly

- You're not the only one ! The girls and I are going to the little village next door to get a ball gown, are you coming with us?

I hesitate, all the girls mean also with Jess. To my knowledge Jess doesn't like me and I really don't know why, maybe she's afraid I'll steal her friends. Aubrey cuts me off in my thoughts.

"Please say yes!" she begged me.

- I would love to come, but Jess and I don't really get on well and I wouldn't want to create any tension in the group, I admitted

-  Jess won't be here, she already has her outfit and she has to go to Kol's after school to help her with her homework  said Aubrey rolling her eyes which made me laugh slightly.

She looks at me with cat eyes, silently begging me to accept.

- No problem then, I'll be there!, I announced

She jumps around my neck. His enthusiasm makes me laugh.

- Tomorrow after class, we'll pick you up at your chalet at 6 p.m., okay?

I nod positively. I have to put my things in my locker, my bag is incredibly heavy today. I open my locker and transfer my stuff, then slam the locker shut to come face to face with Jace. I jump then, looked blasé, what does he want from me again?

- What now ! I say dryly.

- Oh you know, I was hanging out in the corridors, when I saw you and there I said to myself  why not go annoy my enemy. The atmosphere is to die for today  he finished his sentence, whispering so that no one could hear him.

Then a huge narcissistic smile appears on his perfect face, it must be admitted. I wonder what his face would be like with a genuine smile, I bet he has dimples digging into his cheeks.

I sigh and look him in the eye. He is leaning against the locker wall with a strap of his bag over his shoulder.

- Careful Jace... I could believe that you are starting to like me  I said, finishing my sentence in a whisper as he did. Then I turn on my heels and leave, with a proud smile on my face. I'm glad, for once I didn't let the ugly Jace fool me.

The day was very long today, and I am literally exhausted. When I get back to the cabin, I slump on my bed and fall asleep almost immediately.

~ Next day 5 p.m. End of classes for the day ~

The day was even longer than yesterday, because I can't wait to go to this masquerade ball, Matt also seems delighted to go. Luckily he asked me to go with him because I don't know how I would have done it, I wouldn't have had the courage to ask someone. The school canceled Friday afternoon classes to help set up the room and to give us time to prepare. In an hour the girls are picking me up to go shopping for tomorrow's party. So I have time to do my homework.

~ 5:45 p.m. At the chalet. ~

I was doing my homework when I heard the front door open, revealing the shrill and annoying voice of Haylay. I leave my room and go to the living room where the couple is.

-  Hi, the sticky girl throws Haylay at me.

This girl may be rich, it doesn't allow her to talk to me like that, but I decide to ignore her, finding it more mature than these scathing remarks. After all, don't they say that the slime of the toad does not reach the gentle dove? Nevertheless, the couple agrees perfectly, as arrogant one as the other.

Hayley has large bags in her hands, which she places on the table by the fireplace.

- - So, baby, which one? Haylay asks Jace showing two dresses.

One of them is red, strapless, it stops at mid-thigh. The other is yellow, with big straps and it also stops at mid-thigh. I hate both dresses, it's not my style at all. It's a masked ball, she must wear a long dress, it's tradition.

"Haylay, this is a masquerade ball, not a birthday party or whatever! I say coldly

Jace is leaning against the kitchen door, arms folded across his chest.

- Shut up, I didn't ask you anything, and then these dresses are magnificent! she exclaims, waving the two dresses in her hands.

Jace doesn't say anything, he's still leaning against the kitchen door, arms crossed over his chest, watching us passively rather than reacting. I can see he's trying not to smile.

- They are not suitable for the ball, you need a long dress  I said trying to be kind enough.

-  Look, I didn't ask you anything again, so shut up! she replied, Jace is quietly laughing at our little girl conflict.

"You know, I just want to help you, I'm not sure Jace likes his dresses," I said looking up at Jace. He says nothing and looks at me.

A silence settles for a few minutes. He looks me in the eye.

- Jace! yells Haylay

He immediately looks away at her.

-  You like these dresses, don't you? she asks rather confidently with each dress in one hand.

-  um... yeah, yeah I love them  said Jace, but I know he's lying.

A proud smile appeared on Haylay's face.

I know he's lying about the way he bites his upper lip, the way he moves his arms in front of him, the way his gaze never lands on Haylay. At this moment, I feel like I know him better than she does, and that makes my heart feel better.

He leans back against the kitchen door and looks me in the eye and he doesn't look that sure of himself, he looks quite confused.

-  You see, he adores them, I know him by heart  said Haylay, turning to me.

"Yes...yes, sure...by heart," I said, not taking my eyes off Jace.

He knows I know he lied, and I know he knows it.

-  Well, all that doesn't tell me which one to take? Haylay said, turning back to the couch where the dresses are.

Jace and I finally look at each other.

- I need your help Jace! she throws

-  Hmm... Yeah  said Jace, straightening up to walk towards her.

They are both examining the dresses. Haylay stands with her back to me with her two dresses in hand, while Jace faces her. He seems confused by this dilemma for two dresses, although in reality, I think he doesn't really care. I smile slightly at the situation and turn to go to my room. For some reason, I feel Jace's gaze on me.

~ 6:05 p.m. ~

The doorbell rings, I leave my room to open to the girls.

- Hey! Are you ready ! Bonnie exclaimed as she entered followed by the others.

"Hi," Alice and Aubrey called to the couple still present in the living room. Haylay turns around as well as Jace. She rolls her eyes and orders Jace to turn around, putting his hand on her back. They are still in the middle of a debate over these two damn dresses, both as ugly as the other.

I guide the girls to my room.

- Always so nice Haylay, I see  said Alice with a sigh.

- Yeah, still a nuisance, I say, putting on one of my shoes.

"And what exactly are they doing?" Aubrey asked as she lay down on my bed as I put on my second shoe.

- They're choosing between the red dress that hugs her like a sausage or the yellow dress that gives her huge breasts, anyway, they're choosing Haylay's ball gown, I say raising eyes before taking my purse.

- Let's go ? Bonnie asked.

I nod positively and we leave. I'm surprised she didn't comment on Jace's beauty, but I'm still relieved.

After a good half hour, we arrived in a small village called Mystic Town. Bonnie guides us to a dress store.

- Welcome ladies! a smiling dark-haired lady greeted us.

We greet her and go to the dresses.

- I suppose you are looking for a dress for your high school prom? asks the saleswoman.

- Yes indeed, said Aubrey.

- Very well, so it will be a long dress for all of you? she asked.

- Yes, please, it's a masked ball, I informed the saleswoman.

- No problem, I also sell masks for balls, it's kind of my specialty. So go sit near the cabins, I'll bring you some dresses to try on as well as some masks, she suggested.

So we sit down and the lady comes back to us with her arms full.

His shop is very warm, quite small, but cute. It is very colorful and smells very good.

- There you go, ladies, she said, putting the dresses on hangers in front of us.

The girls throw themselves at the dresses while I look shyly at the masks. There is one that catches my eye, it is very simple, golden and fine, it only hides the eyes and the beginning of the nose. It appears to be made of lace, but it obviously isn't.

- He is perfect, and he would go wonderfully with this dress! exclaimed Alice, showing me a long black dress with a bare back.

The dress is beautiful, but I will never wear a bare back.

- Try there! cried Aubrey.

- Yes, she is beautiful! Bonnie added holding a purple dress in her arms.

- I dunno. I've never worn a bare back, and I'm rather modest so..., I admitted shyly.

- There is a beginning for everything ! Aubrey told me.

I end up accepting.

"Okay," I whispered.

They all have a proud smile.

I enter the cabin, with my dress and my golden mask. I put on the long black dress and look at myself in the mirror before going out, the dress falls on the bottom of my loins in a V shape, it is magnificent, but I am not very comfortable in it. I then put on my mask and leave the cabin. The girls are trying on their dresses right next door so while waiting for them, I admire myself in front of the store's mirror.

- Wow, just Wow, Bonnie said coming out of her cabin followed by Aubrey and Alice.

Alice wears a long dark blue dress. Aubrey a strapless gray long dress, and Bonnie a strapless purple long dress.

- You are just sublime Elena, Aubrey told me, her eyes fixed on me.

- You are perfect ! cries Alice, jumping to her feet.

"Thank you girls, but I'm not comfortable in it, I'm quite modest and I don't like to reveal my body," I said shyly, looking at my back in the mirror in front of me.

"Listen..." Bonnie said sitting down. It's not every day that you can wear a dress like this, it suits you perfectly and you're lucky to be tall for that. This dress is made for you! And since you've been telling me about that ball for the past two weeks, I guess you can't wait to be there. You really want this evening, so you might as well make the most of it.

"If I may say so, this dress suits you wonderfully, miss," the saleswoman told me.

"Thank you very much," I said.

"Girls, I don't think I have the money to pay for this dress, so I should get another one instead..." I said.

- I can make the dress for you at half price, miss, it looks great on you and it suits few women, so as long as it is worn by a beautiful and young girl like you, the saleswoman offers me.

- That's very kind of you, thank you very much, I say looking at the girls who give me a funny look.

- I'll take it, I finally say, the girls are now smiling.

The girls also buy their dresses and masks and then we leave.