Chapter 4 - Hidden thoughts

The voices around him were more than muffled, they were distant, as if they came from far, far away other than only a few inches apart, same went for the sounds coming from the quiet business talks usually held in the overpriced restaurant of a country club. His eyes were glued to his phone, he kept gaping at one specific contact, his fingers sliding over it, needy yet still holding back.

His new client, Mr. Selfridge, kept blabbing about this and that, but Lucas' mind was far gone, it was off to somewhere it really shouldn't be, the same place where it had been since over two weeks now.

His thumb slid over the contact for the hundredth time in one hour. Would it be so foolish to just press the call button? Or even only send a text? He could pretend he'd made a mistake, wanted to call somebody else, that wouldn't be suspicious, would it? There would be no need to talk, just hearing the voice would be enough, at least for now.

"Ohhh, there you are, my darling!" Mr. Selfridge's gruff voice came to disrupt Lucas' internal struggle, therefore he looked up to his business partner, and followed his gaze, only to be met by the enchanting sight of a gorgeous young woman, presumably in her mid-20s, wearing a white strapless dress that didn't really leave much to imagination, her bright blonde hair framed an incredibly beautiful heart-shaped face made of deep green eyes, a small nose, and thin lips.

All of that might have had any man gasp, mesmerized, but Lucas' only thought was how the girl weirdly reminded him of his teen sister, Rachel, and he made a mental note to call her before she alerted FBI about a missing billionaire, as she'd threatened last time it'd taken him longer to answer the phone.

Lucas stood automatically to greet the lady, and her father grinned, taking it in the wrong way. "Darling, this is Lucas Grant, CEO of the Grant Enterprises, I'm sure you've heard of him!" Mr. Selfridge introduced, his Cheshire grin unfaltering, especially as Lucas gentlemanly took the young woman's hand and placed a small kiss on it, out of pure etiquette, which he hated, but he knew his new client was a huge fan, so he acted consequently, all to ensnare such a huge buyer.

Actually, when he'd heard the man go on and on about his lovely daughter, Karen, Lucas had already sensed hidden hopes coming from that father, but he'd never said anything: Leonard Selfridge was too much of an essential client to antagonize him, if he liked to think the golden bachelor would bow his head to the infamous altar once met Karen, let him, Lucas wasn't really beyond intently flirting either. The company came first, before everything. Or it used to.

Because now, no matter how gorgeous Karen Selfridge was, no matter how captivating her deep green eyes were, how enticing her perfect silhouette might be, his bad mood was barely in control enough not to be rude.

He wasn't snapping only because dealing with Selfridge had been long and extenuating, Lucas wasn't at all keen on risking to blow off the whole deal only because of his moods, be it only because then he would be forced to spend more time than due in San Francisco in order to fix it, and that was out of the question.

This lunch at the country club was supposed to be a celebratory one in honor of the contract they'd just signed, but, Lucas was sure, Mr. Selfridge had given a whole different meaning to it.

"Ah, yes, I've been hearing so much about you, Mr. Grant, my father talks of no one else but you in these weeks, it's like I already know you." Karen Selfridge let her smooth voice be heard for the first time after having smiled at Lucas for the chivalrous gesture.

Lucas who nodded, barely cracking a small smile, raking his mind for an answer that wouldn't ruin everything.

High society dads, he scoffed mentally, always throwing their "lovely and beautiful" daughters at him, as if he were some golden piggy to catch before it was too late. How he hated that. It was what kept him out of that elite circle that counted the wealthiest personages in America, amongst which he resulted only because of his fortune, along with the sole fact that he was young and bachelor.

It seemed as if the American high society lacked of young male offspring to feed to their nubile princesses. Or maybe his status was even too juicy, Lucas thought, so that his humble origins could easily go by unnoticed.

Nothing against Karen Selfridge, she was truly gorgeous, and for all he knew, she might as well be the nicest person ever, but ... she wasn't Samantha. It was as simple as that. 5

Within those weeks he'd met lots of beautiful girls that threw themselves or were thrown at him, but none of them interested him. Usually it would have been because he was utterly devoted to handling business only during his trips, however this time it was merely because in each and every single one of those girls Lucas saw something missing: too short, too tall, too skinny, too chubby, green eyes, blue eyes, blonde, brunette, laughs too much, doesn't laugh enough, talks too much, isn't smart enough ... no matter how perfect the girl might have seemed, he was always ready to find billions of flaws in her. Until, finally, he'd come to terms with it.

It wasn't them, it was him. He hadn't suddenly become irrationally picky, he'd simply set his thoughts on one girl only. No matter their perfection, they could never reach Samantha. Even while not knowing, now Lucas realized, he'd put her on such a high pedestal, that whatever woman might come after her could never be enough nor apt to the task. Catching his heart. Not that she had, his mind forced him to reckon, it was just that she'd set the bar too high now.

Lucas tried to steer Mr. Selfridge's conversation towards business, or some of their mutual acquaintances, anything not to sit there and listen to the man praise – for the billionth time – his daughter's many merits, but he wasn't lucky. "Did I tell you Karen is at Law School? It broke my heart when she said she didn't want to join my company, but I'm ever so proud of her! She's been selected for an internship and Stapler & Montario, the greatest law studio in the West Coast, they chose her out of five thousand!"

Lucas flaunted his best circumstantial smile as he listened, trying not to look too uninterested, wondering if Karen was as much enthusiast as her dad at the idea of marrying the golden bachelor.

Duh, ever since that freaking article came out, Lucas reminisced, even more greedy parents had been throwing their daughters at him, and more and more conniving witches had tried to sink their claws into his skin. It was the worst part of being so rich and so well known.

That freaking journalist had done one hell of a damage. Now everywhere he was marked as the golden bachelor. Anyone else might have been flattered and proud, but Lucas only found it annoying. They were judging him only based on his money and good looks, was he a piece of meat, perhaps?

Good thing the people that really knew him weren't like that, and that Grant Enterprises spoke for itself when it came to product perfection, so that the damage was only to his personal image, not the company's.

Mr. Selfridge went on and on praising his daughter, the same as a proud farmer would praise his cow at the village's fair, and Lucas mentally thanked God when the man decided to leave the table with the excuse of going to say hi to some friend of his.

That left the golden bachelor alone with the jewel he was supposed to gather before the hordes of suitors beat him to it, though. Now Lucas realized the "friend" was only an excuse to leave them alone, certainly Selfridge counted on his daughter's seduction skills. Time to make it clear, Lucas thought.

He leaned in, hands clasped over the table, his head thumping because of the migraine the ensemble of lack of sleep and endless talks caused, which might have pushed him to be just slightly less kind than he would normally be. "Listen, um ... Karen, I'm sure you have no fault in this, but you're only the ... tenth 'lovely daughter' being thrown at me this month, nothing new. Normally I would take the time to kindly turn down every advance, but you must know how your father is hard to deal with, I've got a migraine that's killing me, I haven't been sleeping since three days, and I'm honestly tired of being treated as a golden piggy you're all after." He paused to take a deep breath, rubbing his temples to soothe the migraine.

"I ..." Karen started, only to be soon cut off by his hand held up.

"I don't mean to be rude nor disrespectful, you're beautiful and all, Karen, but ... I'm not interested. Please, do me a favor and tell your father that his efforts at leaving us alone were in vain." Lucas stood, needing only a good sleep in order to get back at the top of his forces. Hopefully the tormenting thought of that stubborn Italian would let him rest at least for a few hours.

"I'll see you tonight at the ball, then." Karen Selfridge mentioned just before he moved to leave, an impish grin plastered over her thin lips that were covered in pink lipstick.

Lucas frowned, rubbing his temples once again, gathering all of his remaining forces after two weeks of nonstop work and treacherous thoughts. "What ball?" He asked in a sigh.

She covered her girly giggle – quite voluntary actually – with her slender hand. "The one held by the country club. Fundraising for the poor, or the veterans, or was it cancer research? I'm not sure. It's a ball nevertheless. And dad wants you to come."

Lucas groaned in his hand, cursing himself for forgetting that idiocy. Selfridge had mentioned it before lunch, pushing him to accept, it was for a good cause, and he would certainly have fun, the man had claimed. Of course, the old fox already planned on exploiting that evening to give him more time with whom he hoped would soon become Mrs. Karen Grant. "Uh ... tell your father I'm not feeling too well, sorry."

Karen chuckled, shaking her head. "You should know as well as I that there's no escaping these things. And dad isn't the type to just excuse you for not feeling well. He might remember it next time you wanna talk about business, sorry."

Lucas sent her a dirty look, tired and fed up. "You do know your father is gonna stop to nothing to convince me to marry you, right?"1

She laughed, nodding. "Oh, yeah. He's already pointed out that tonight would be a great night for an adventure." Lucas furrowed his brows, confused, so she pointed it out clearly: "He's suggested me to seduce you, Lucas." She stood, turning to the tables at the edge of the room for a moment, then intently going to stand only a couple of inches away from him. She bit her lips seductively as she grabbed a hold of his tie, "Tonight, my dear Mr. Grant, I shall exploit all of my charms, in order to lure you in my bed."

"Karen ..." Lucas attempted.

She grinned, looking up at him. "My dad thinks that, once you've tried the milk, you'll want to buy the cow."9

Lucas grimaced at her usage of words, quite low level for her to be such a well educated princess. Karen laughed instead, slyly closing the gap between them, with the corner of her eye making sure her father was watching from the other side of the room, and she neared Lucas' ear, pretending to be whispering him irresistibly sensual promises, while in truth, she was only pointing out: "Play my game, and we'll get him off our backs."

Lucas gaped at her, marveled. "What ..."

She grinned, theatrically smacking a sticky kiss – careful to leave the imprint of her lipstick – on his cheek before moving away. "I'll see you tonight at the ball. Wear black, it's definitely your color." With that, she left him, as theatric as possible in order to pretend she'd just lain her bait. The flabbergasted look on Lucas' face only served to her game. The rest of it would come at the ball.

***

Lying on bed, Sky beside her, his head lain over her stomach as he rejoiced of his mommy's caresses, Samantha was gathering all of her strength in order to push back every thought concerning a certain someone and the void he'd left unknowingly within her.

She petted her Siberian Husky, brokenhearted tunes that were filling the room only contributing to dampen her mood. "It's just the sex, right?" She asked out loud, either to herself or her only confidant. As if on cue, Sky whined lowly.

Samantha looked down at him, half smiling. "You didn't like him, did you?" The dog whined. "You like Sean, though", Sky woofed happily, as if recognizing the name. Samantha smiled, petting him.

She'd taken the Siberian Husky that he was only a puppy, barely a couple of weeks old, it had been Sean himself to bring it to her, therefore the dog was perfectly accustomed to the guy, no wonder he liked him that much, also, it had been Sean to take him to the trainings, in order to make of Sky the perfect guard dog that would protect Samantha when he couldn't be around.

In truth, if she actually cared to admit it, Sean was quite fond of her, and she somewhat was of him, too, however what she hadn't realized yet, was that his affection was of a whole different kind from hers. When he was so hostile towards Lucas two weeks before, Samantha took for granted it was only a protective brother looking out for her, she never even considered it might have been just jealousy.

"He's not bad, though, you know", Samantha mentioned, and Sky raised his head. "Lucas, I mean, he's ... nice, when you get to know him", but the dog had no reaction. She cracked a small smile, ruffling his fur. "Yeah, you're biased, I know you are, buddy. I should be jealous, though. You seem to prefer Sean to me", Sky whined in response, making her chuckle as he went to lick her face, as if to contradict her.

Samantha knew that anybody that heard her talk to her dog like that would have found her crazy, but people couldn't understand how was it to have such a best friend. Sky might have lacked word, but he was smart enough to understand her when she spoke to him, and maybe he couldn't really advise her, but she could vent out, which was a compelling need for someone like Samantha who had no real friends and never talked about her emotions.

Ah, the talks Sky had listened to within two weeks. All centered on one specific person. It was new, actually, because normally all that Sky could hear of her were brief words of pain that would always end in sorrowful tears, only to be then replaced with self encouraging mantras that succeeded enough to get her through the day without breaking down.

It might sound absurd, but her Siberian Husky was the sole living being to be aware of one simple and ineluctable fact. Samantha was broken. It was a condition nobody ever had the privilege to even only perceive, because she hid it awfully well, only Sky could, and probably only because he couldn't speak up.

Not speak, but understand? Yes. Sky understood his mommy needed cheering more than any average human, he was often like a child witnessing his mom cry, he would snuggle in her arms and lick her face, trying to soothe her, or he would howl his pain with her when that didn't work.

Sometimes Sean heard that and came to see what was wrong, but mostly Samantha fell asleep with sorrowful tears streaming her cheeks, a heavy load on her heart, Sky snuggled up with her. She actually used it as teddy bear most of the time, it was a habit she'd taken when he was only a puppy, and it continued even now that he was too big.

People's Samantha was silent, distant, somewhat haughty. Sean's Samantha was shy and introvert. But Sky's Samantha was the real one.

The girl now giggling as she played with her dog, the girl that could go from giggly to crying in a minute, the girl that needed every day more and more strength to get up and face the world outside, the girl that routinely put up a tough and impassive façade that would break only once she was home, with her confidant and best friend.

The girl whose heart was too weak to even only fathom starting to contain feelings, the girl who in the past two weeks had cried for a whole different reason than usual. The girl who would stubbornly keep on putting up a fiery battle in order not to fall. The girl who was sure that falling would sign her ruin. The girl whose heart ached because of a specific distance, but that would never admit it out loud, or not to anyone but her Siberian Husky.

"I miss him, Sky", Samantha revealed once she'd quit laughing, tears already pooling her lifeless hazel eyes. "I-I miss Lucas. A-And not physically", she lay back on bed, the dog going to lie his head on her chest as she rubbed his ears, his blue sky eyes seemingly conveying the sadness of a child forced to see his mommy suffer.

"I-I'm scared, terrified", Samantha admitted, tears streaming her cheeks while her eyes were fixed on the ceiling, visualizing that dearly missed countenance. "He'll be back in a week, and I ... I-I can't muster up the courage to see him. Yet I miss him", she looked down at her dog, "I miss him so bad, Sky", she bit her lips to keep the sobs. "What is he doing to me? Why can't I move on?"