Part Six

Olivia woke up feeling light as a feather. She slept soundly through the whole night and if somebody saw her then, she was almost sure they would’ve seen her smiling in her sleep too. It had been a long time since she felt like this: absolutely elated, like her heart would burst out of her chest any minute. She was relaxed and excited at the same time, unable to wipe off the silly grin on her face.

As she went down for breakfast, her dad looked up from his reading with a curious gaze, seeing Olivia humming her way through making toast.

“You seem happy.” Mr. Kim said and Olivia smiled, shrugging. ending the conversation.

I am happy, she thought just as a face appeared in her head.

“Anything good happen?”

Olivia hummed as she grabbed the toast, put it in a zip lock. “Uh, I aced my Math test.”

“That’s great, honey! Say, you want to celebrate tonight? I get off work early and I thought we’d have dinner at that Italian place you like.”

“Oh uh… I actually have plans after school today. Can we do it tomorrow instead?”

“Plans?” Her dad eyed her. “With friends?”

Olivia bit her lip. “With a friend, actually.”

Mr. Kim paused. “Will I meet him?”

“Not today… but soon. I promise.” Olivia said and her dad simply nodded before returning to his reading. Just then her watch beeped, signaling that she had better get going. She moved towards him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Gotta go.”

“Be home by ten.”

“Love you, dad!” She called out as she skipped towards the door and out the house to catch the morning bus.

Every day was the same: wake up, get ready for school, ride the bus, and attend classes… but today felt exceptionally different and as Olivia bounded up to the school building’s steps, she couldn’t help but notice the way her feet moved briskly through the halls, rushing towards her first class. This was probably the most excited she had been to attend Math class. Though she knew she wasn’t rushing to study Math at all…But to actually see her favorite classmate.

Last night, she and Ian had kissed. And it wasn’t just a kiss; it was a kiss and many more kisses, and the best kiss she had ever received from someone that it made her into a blushing mess at the mere thought of it.

Even more so, the way Ian smiled down at her like she was the most amazing person that has ever walked the face of the earth made her feel elated. Olivia couldn’t help the giddiness bubbling inside her chest as she approached her classroom. She paused by the doorway, made sure her uniform wasn’t rumpled and fixed her hair a bit before finally entering.

The room was almost full, even though there was about fifteen more minutes till the bell officially rang. Her eyes searched for him and as it landed on his seat, she was disappointed to see his usual slumped form missing.

Huh. Strange, Olivia thought; knowing Ian usually came earlier than she did. She sat down on her seat which was near the front row and waited, eyes staring almost longingly at the door.

A few minutes later, someone entered.

But it was a man she had never seen before, who eventually introduced himself as a substitute for Mrs. Chan since she was on a sick leave for the day.

He gave a short exercise and let the students do whatever they want right after. And it was horrible considering it gave Olivia so much time to sit on her chair and wonder, while glancing back at the empty seat at the back of the room.

~~~

Olivia didn’t see Ian that day, which meant she also got stood up on their supposed date. That night, she had dinner with her dad at the restaurant she liked but even her favorite Italian food couldn’t cheer her up. Mr. Kim seemed to notice and ordered an extra basket of their delicious house bread to take home, and Olivia smiled at the attempt to make her feel better. As she went to bed that night, she berated herself for not insisting enough to get his phone number and hoped he was okay.

Maybe an emergency came up. She thought.

But no word came from him. Not even as the weekend passed and Monday rolled in, his seat still remained vacant. By Wednesday morning, she was feeling restless and worried of his absence that she finally made up her mind to contact him.

But she didn’t know his number and none of her classmates seem to have it either.

But the school probably does, she thought and made her way to the records office.

A distinct lemon scent filled her nose as she entered the small office. On her way there, she contemplated on how to ask for Ian’s contact information; debating whether it was a good idea or not, especially since he seemed like a very private guy.

He might hate me for getting his number this way, she thought but figured it was better than having to feel troubled for not having at least an inkling on what has happened to him.

As she approached the secretary’s desk, Olivia already made up her excuse as to why she needed the information: to give Ian some notes that he missed and to ask for help on a project they were partnering in. Good news: the secretary bought it instantly and agreed. Bad news: they didn’t have his contact number either.

“I only have his brother’s, dear. He’s the legal guardian. Though I know he currently lives alone.”

“Oh…” Olivia visibly deflated, chewing on her bottom lip as she heard her only way of reaching him slipping away. A split second later, a light bulb sparked in her head as she recalled one tiny detail and before Olivia could stop herself she was already asking,

“Maybe I can try visiting him?”

~~~

Olivia stared up at the run-down building in front of her, then looked back down at the small paper in her hand to check whether she was at the right place or not. After confirming the building number and street name, she moved forward to the entrance.

She gripped the paper bag in her hand where a few pieces of Danish bread and chocolate cookies lay inside, recalling Ian mentioning how much he liked them when she brought some for herself during their tutoring sessions.

The complex was only a bus ride away and a few minutes’ walk from the station. The neighborhood was quiet and very different from the suburban one she lived in. As she walked to the door, Olivia bumped into a really tall guy with dyed blonde hair and curious eyes.

“Who are you?” He asked quite directly and Olivia felt herself shrinking back from his probing gaze.

“Uh… Olivia. I…I’m looking for Ian?”

His expression turned slightly surprised before asking, “Ian? Ian Jun?”

“Yeah.”

“You his friend?”

“Yeah.” She repeated then bit her lip, thinking whether it was even right to call him a friend when they already kissed.

The guy raised an eyebrow, looking a little surprised and at the same time contemplative. It was almost like he couldn’t believe she had said yes, and it made Olivia wonder just how lonely Ian must be to have his neighbor this surprised at the fact that he had a friend.

“Um. He’s up on the second floor, last door to your left.”

Olivia was relieved she was at the right place and gave him a smile. “Thank you, sir.”

“Just call me Pete. Sir is my old man.” The guy said as he gave her a curt nod before going on his way. Olivia entered and climbed up to the second floor, easily spotting Ian’s apartment. Once at his door, she tucked a hair strand behind her ear and knocked.

She heard a shuffle and the sound of locks clicking before the door finally swung open, revealing Ian in white shirt and gray sweatpants.

He didn’t look sick, not even in the slightest and it annoyed her a little considering he looked okay enough to head to school. At the thought, she immediately felt ashamed and scolded herself; thinking she didn’t have the right to judge him and that he probably had a good reason to be missing school.

And standing me up on what’s supposed to be our first date.

“Liv?” He asked and the nickname made her heart race. Or was it just the sound of his voice? She thought as Ian met her eyes. He looked genuinely surprised. “What are you doing here? How did you—”

“I’m sorry. I asked the office for your number and they didn’t have it and…well, they knew where you lived so I thought to visit ‘because you’ve been out for days and I—” She stopped, catching herself on her rant. I got worried, she wanted to say “I just…” She shrugged. “I just wanted to see if you were okay.”

Ian merely stared at her with his infamous blank expression as she spoke and Olivia felt a chill run down her spine when she realized that he didn’t smile at her once since she came. It was a look that was all too familiar…one that dated from the very first day they met.

“You shouldn’t have come here.” Ian finally said and Olivia felt like she had just been slapped. “Why would you ask the school for personal information? And why the hell did they even give it to you?”

Olivia was stunned at his tone: obviously pissed, and anger reflected upon his dark orbs. There was no warmth, no ounce of kindness. The current situation she was in was breaking her slowly on the inside. It was almost like meeting Ian on the first day all over again. Only worse.

“I—I’m sorry I just… you were out for days, Ian. I got worried—”

“Go home, Olivia.” Ian said and his harsh tone knocked the breath out of her. “Just go, and don’t come back.”

Without another word, Ian stepped back inside and shut the door on her face. Olivia gasped out as she heard the locks being clicked back into place and the sound of footsteps weakening as he moved away from the door.

She wanted to scream at him for being so rude and for shutting her out like that, but she couldn’t seem to breathe at how tight her chest felt. Her hands shook slightly, causing the bag to fall to the ground with a thud.

Go home, Olivia. Just go and don’t come back.

Ian’s words resonated in her thoughts and a tear escaped her eyes, cascading down her cheek. Before she knew it, she was running.

Olivia wiped her cheek harshly as she made her way downstairs, not wanting to cry even if every fiber of her being hurt from Ian’s rejection and rude behavior. She could remember his eyes: how unkind they were—how angry he was—and she wasn’t even sure what she did wrong when she only came to check up on him.

Because she was worried…

Because she cared about him.

“Hey.”

Olivia jumped slightly at the call, causing another tear to escape from her eye. She wiped it off immediately before facing the source.

The blonde guy—Pete—stood to her right, hand on his door knob and already halfway into his unit. He was looking at her with a gaze Olivia saw as concern and she smiled to cover up the fact that she was dying on the inside.

“Oh, hey.”

Pete remained silent, looking like he was contemplating his words. “Did you…see Ian?” He asked almost cautiously.

Olivia opened her mouth and felt herself about to break. She knew she had to make this quick. “Y—yeah. I did. And I’m just… gonna go.” Another tear slipped and she cursed herself for being so weak.

“It was nice meeting you. And thanks for the help... I don’t think I’ll be coming back any time soon.” She added in a rush, all the while avoiding eye contact before practically running out of the building.

~~~

Shit.

Ian cursed over and over again as he laid on his bed, burying his hands in his hair in frustration. He didn’t expect her to come at all and figured he had underestimated her. He wasn’t mad at her for visiting. In fact, the moment he opened the door and saw her, he was beyond happy and wanted nothing more but to pull her in and kiss her face silly.

He missed her so much.

But then it appeared, and Ian was catapulted back to reality so hard, he felt the ground shaking beneath his feet. He saw the numbers hovering over her head the moment they locked eyes and felt his throat close up; his heart breaking for the millionth time. He didn’t come to school for that very reason, unsure if he could face Olivia with those numbers staring at him, taunting him.

If someone knew about his ability, they would’ve said he was being pathetic and a complete ass to a girl whose only reason for visiting was to check up on his well-being.

So, you know the numbers? So what? Olivia’s young, surely, she has a long way to go… They’d say…

Ian swallowed hard and pressed the heel of his palms over his eyes, keeping in unshed tears, feeling his heart ache so much it was like someone was pressing down on his chest, making it hard to breathe.

Pathetic? Maybe. Except Olivia didn’t have years to live; not even a year or months...

She had days.

27 days, Ian thought sadly and angrily at the same time; the number like a rope tied around his neck, threatening to choke him to death. Olivia would be gone in twenty-seven days and he didn’t know what to do. He had lost a lot of sleep because of it, unable to swallow the truth that only person he had cared for since he was left alone, was dying and there was nothing he could do about it.

Knock. Knock.

Ian looked up, face scrunching in confusion considering he never got many—or any—visitors. And with how he had acted a while ago, he was dead sure it wouldn’t be Olivia. When he opened the door, he was surprised to see Pete, his neighbor from downstairs, looking at him with a disapproving gaze. Ian swallowed slightly as the numbers appeared on his head, seeing the many years he had yet to live.

Selfishly, he wished it was Olivia’s instead.

“Can I help you?” Ian asked.

“Your friend.” Pete said and Ian perked up, not expecting the statement. “The girl… Why did she cry?”

Cry. Ian bit the insides of his cheek and clenched his jaw till he could taste rust on his tongue. He hated himself for making her cry. He absolutely hated himself.

“It’s none of your business.” He spat in an attempt to avoid the conversation but Pete looked like he wasn’t having any of it.

“You’re right, it’s not.” Pete said and Ian felt even more upset with himself. “I just wanna know how you could practically push everyone away—even the ones who are obviously trying to get close to you—and be a complete dick while at it. You couldn’t have just rejected her nicely?”

“You don’t know anything.” Ian said, voice cracking slightly as he clenched his fist.

“You’re right. I don’t. I don’t know what’s going on with you two or what your problem is. Heck no one probably knows anything about you. But I’ve been living here long enough to know how you’re practically an expert at avoiding everyone and keeping to yourself. Maybe you like it, okay.” He raised his hands in surrender before looking at him sternly. “Fine by me, but can you be alone without hurting anybody?”

Ian was surprised by Pete’s outburst, his words ringing in his ears it was almost deafening.

“Why do you care?” Ian snapped at an attempt to hold himself together. Pete’s words held so much truth he felt himself sinking into the chasm of his own demise. “Do you even know her? Know me?”

“No. But she was nice and she even brought you something.” Pete shrugged. “I just thought I’m doing her a favor by beating the crap out of you for making her cry.”

“You’re going to beat me up?” Ian asked, not at all scared. In fact, he wished he would. He deserved it.

“I meant figuratively; like beating you up with words till you feel guilty about what you did.” He said before thrusting something at him. Ian caught a brown paper bag and looked inside. The contents made him feel like he had been punched in the gut.

She remembered, he thought as he saw the neatly packed cookies and bread inside.

“She seemed like a really nice girl.” Pete said and Ian agreed. “Why’d you ask her to leave?”

“Because…” Because I can’t take seeing her and knowing she’d be gone in a few days. I don’t want to watch her numbers trickle down to zero—to watch her die before my very eyes…

Because I love her and that would kill me.

“Because she’s the one leaving,” Ian said instead. “And I won’t ever see her again, so why bother?”

Pete looked at him and sighed. “She switching schools?”

“You could say that.” Ian answered. He couldn’t exactly tell Pete that he knew Olivia was going to die in a matter of days.

“Well you’re an idiot. If she’s leaving, then shouldn’t you be spending more time with her and making the most out of it?”

Ian snorted, “Since when did you become a love expert?”

“I’m not. It’s a general truth, dumbass.” Pete rolled his eyes. “Look, you don’t push someone away when they’re already leaving…”

“Yeah? What do you do?”

“You ask them to stay.”

Ian paused at his words and felt his heart break even more. Pete sighed and told him to get himself together before finally turning away, leaving Ian alone in the hallway with the cold hard truth to ponder on.

If only I could, he thought. If only I could.