Part Seven

When Ian returned to school, Olivia felt like a new student again.

The boy who once smiled at her whenever she passed by the hall no longer met her eyes and kept his head down and stared at his feet as he walked. They ignored each other in class, went to the library at times when they knew the other wouldn’t be there. They avoided each other like the plague and little did they know it was tearing them both apart on the inside… that the hurting was never one-sided.

Olivia was on her way out of the campus when she saw him heading out of the building. He was wearing his usual black ensemble and Olivia felt her heart ache at how mundane it was—how normal he looked when she could barely keep herself together these past few days. She felt the urge to approach him, to demand answers as to why everything changed so suddenly. She wanted to ask what she did wrong and how she could make it right.

She was so lost in thought that she hadn’t seen the incoming motorcycle rushing towards her.

“Hey! Move!”

A loud screeching sounded and when Olivia turned, she saw the bike heading towards her fast. Her body was paralyzed from shock and she would’ve been hit if it weren’t for the strong grip on her arm pulling her off the side of the road right as the bike zipped fast.

“What on earth are you doing?!”

Olivia looked up and was met by startled brown eyes. Ian held her close, looking down at her with wide, panicked eyes.

“I—”

“Are you out of your mind?! Don’t you know that you shouldn’t be standing on the edge of the road like that?! You almost got hit!” Ian was angry, eyes ablaze as he scolded her.

She opened her mouth to protest but was too shocked by his anger. “I’m sorry! I—”

“Will you watch where you’re going?!” He snapped and that’s when Olivia finally grasped the situation; her anger suddenly spilling out from the place where she had bottled it up for so long.

“Let me go.” She sneered a she pulled her arm free from his grip harshly. “I didn’t need your help.”

Ian scoffed and Olivia wanted to punch it right off his face. Some students were giving them weird glances and Olivia thought she should move before they make a scene. She turned away before he could say another word.

Olivia was well aware that Ian was following her as she walked towards the bus station and she willed herself not to look back until then. The late afternoon was beginning to darken with the skies turning from purple pink to deep blue. Upon arriving at the bus stop, she paused and surveyed her surroundings. The street was empty. She took a deep breath to compose herself, feeling her anger turn into the sadness that has kept her up late at night. She was glad that there was no other person in sight because now she could—

Strong arms suddenly wrapped around her and the words died on her lips as she felt herself being pulled back onto someone’s chest. Warmth spread through her body at the contact and Olivia felt Ian’s heart beating rapidly against her back.

“You got me so worried.” Ian whispered as he held her tighter to him. “I thought—” he paused, and it sounded strained, like he was trying to keep his voice from shaking. “I got so scared, Liv.”

Olivia understood that he was talking about the incident a while ago but she was confused as to why he was reacting this way. He was slightly shaking and she was clueless as to why he was making a big deal out of it.

He did tell her to go away, after all.

They stayed like that for a while, not speaking. And she let him hold her close even though she wanted to push him away for avoiding her all this time. She wanted to scream at him for breaking her heart and for making her believe he didn’t care about her anymore when she still cared so much.

But right there in his arms, she was rendered motionless.

“Why did you go?” Her voice cracked, causing Ian to hold her tighter. “What happened to us?”

There was a pause before he answered, “I didn’t want to. I never wanted this to happen, Liv.”

“Then why—?”

“I can’t tell you.” He said sadly. “I’m sorry for everything… But this is the best for the both of us.”

Olivia closed her eyes painfully before stepping out of his embrace to face him. What she saw was unexpected for she had never seen him so sad and broken.

“The best for the both of us?” She echoed as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. Ian looked away, unable to take the sight. “What do you know about what’s best for me?”

“Liv, please…”

“No. You don’t get to talk right now.” She said defiantly, though her eyes were already shaking with tears and her voice lacked determination. “You kiss me one day and the next you avoid me? I came to check on you because I was so worried that something bad has happened to you, and you told me to leave and never come back. You just… cut me off without an explanation and you think that’s best for me?!”

“Liv,” Ian called out her name like a plea. “Please. I swear, I never meant to hurt you.”

“Never meant? That’s the thing, Ian. You still hurt me! What’s best for me would’ve been a simple straight answer!” She yelled at him, which made him wince. “It would’ve been best for me if you just told me you didn’t want me; that you didn’t want to be my friend anymore or that you hated me—”

“I don’t hate you, Liv. No,” he shook his head as he stepped closer. “I could never… That’s not it!”

“Then what is it, Ian?!”

“I can’t watch you go!” He yelled right back and the both of them were stunned at his outburst. Ian huffed and turned from her, running a hand over his face. Olivia stared, watching his shoulders sag in frustration.

“I can’t watch you leave.” He whispered after a moment, sounding pained. “I just… I can’t. I can’t watch another person I love go and leave me behind.”

Olivia’s heart broke at his words and before she knew it, she was already stepping forward, moving to the side and turning to face him. Ian had his head down and was sniffing. She reached out and cupped his cheek, making him look her in the eye. His lashes were stained with tears and she rubbed her thumb across his cheekbone gently, comforting him.

“You don’t have to be so scared. I-I’m not going anywhere.”

Before Ian could reply, Olivia took one step closer and hugged him. Ian was stiff at first, but eventually returned her embrace, his arms wrapping around her waist. He closed his eyes shut, thinking how wrong she was. She could never stop herself from leaving. In a few days, her numbers would decrease until there’s only zero left and she would be gone just like that.

But for that moment, Ian let himself dream that she could and hugged her fiercely, like he was afraid that if he didn’t hold her tightly enough, she’d disappear.

I love you, he thought. And though he knew she would eventually leave him, for that single moment in each other’s arms, he took Pete’s advice and asked her to stay.