Chapter Four

“What? For me?”

You stared at a beautiful bouquet of red roses on the table, adorned with a little white teddy bear holding onto a bar of almond Hershey’s, your favorite chocolate. You were currently at your hotel room getting your hair and make-up done for a magazine interview when Nana waltz in carrying the beautiful arrangement in her hands.

“The card is addressed to you.” She chuckled. “Plus, my boyfriend isn’t sweet enough to send me flowers spontaneously.”

“Who’s it from?” You asked as you leaned over and smelled the roses. Its fragrant scent mad you smile. “They’re beautiful!”

“There wasn’t a name. But…” she retrieved a card from her jacket’s pocket and handed it to you. “This came with it.”

When Nana left to get her things ready, you opened the card and you swore you felt your heart skip a beat as you read the note:

Can I see you again? :D

Only one name came to your mind as you made sense of the note and you were a 100% sure that the flowers came from him. Plus, who else would know your favorite chocolate brand?

You just weren’t sure why he would send you such a gift in the first place.

In fact, you were curious of what Guk was trying to do, but in the back of your head, you had an idea. What usually came to mind when a guy sends flowers? It would’ve been better if it were a congratulatory gift or a welcoming present…But the note clearly stated: Can I see you again?

The sender was obviously asking you out.

Looking at the guitar in the corner of the room, you remembered the song you wrote the other night and sighed, wishing life wasn't so complicated. Wishing at least your feelings weren't so confusing.

You looked at the flowers again, and then at your phone on the table, your hand slightly itching to take hold of it and call him—talk to him. But before you could, Nana barged into the room once more with an armful of brushes and hair accessories.

"Ready? Let’s do this!" She dumped everything on the table and clapped her hands twice. You nodded and let her take over, placing the flowers on the table where it remained untouched till the end of the day.

~~~

Guk felt like he was back in high school as he stared at his phone, waiting for something he knew was slightly impossible to happen. But he couldn't help it. He couldn't help but wait for your text. He wanted—needed—to talk to you.

"Yo, Guk."

Guk looked up and saw Jay approaching, sweating and panting slightly from their routine. The moment they were dismissed for a break, Guk sat down in a corner and checked his phone. He hoped no one noticed how he was just sitting there like a lovesick fool.

Jay sat beside him on the floor and handed him a bottle of water. "What's so important that you can’t seem to let go of your phone? Expecting someone?"

"I'm trying to beat a high score." Guk lied, earning a chuckle from the other.

"Oh? Didn’t know the message app had a new game.”

Guk sighed. “It’s nothing, hyung.”

“I won’t push.” Jay held up his hands. “It’s not my business till it affects the team. Which I trust…won’t, right?”

Guk shook his head. “It won’t. Don’t worry.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” Jay patted him on the back and Guk thought how there was a reason they chose Jay to be the leader and spokesperson of their trio. Between him, Jay, and Hyun, he was the only sensible and responsible one; the one who would look out for them and check on the well-being of the group. Kind of like their mom figure, though Guk wouldn’t be caught dead saying that or he’d be doing routine exercises till his legs gave in. Jay was a firm dance leader when he wanted to be.

As Jay stood to talk with one of the backup dancers, Guk looked down at his phone screen and grunted, frustrated at himself for his current behavior. Ever since you came back, he had been a mess. He couldn’t stop thinking about you and though he knew that things were totally over between the two of you, he couldn’t help but hope that there’s still a chance at friendship…

Okay, and maybe more. Again. If that was even possible. He wasn’t even sure if you felt the same way. Hell… you might have already completely moved on from him, by the looks of that Grammy nomination.

As he was playing referee in the battle of his heart and mind, someone suddenly plopped down beside him, causing him to jump.

"Whoops. Mianhe." Hyun grinned as he leaned back on the wall and sighed.

Guk simply shook his head.

“You’re too quiet, man. What’s with you?”

“Nothing. Just thinking of the schedule for next week.”

“Boo. We have managers for that.”

Guk snorted, finding his hyung to be quite amusing. "I’m gonna go hit the gym. Want to join me?”

Hyun gave him an incredulous look. “We just did three hours of dance practice and you want to hit the gym? No thank you!”

“Boo. This is why you don’t get abs.” He lifted his shirt to make a point to which Hyun rolled his eyes at, swatting at him with his damp towel. But Guk was quick and the towel missed him, making him laugh.

“It’s what’s on the inside that counts!” Hyun yelled out as Guk left the dance studio to make an important call.

~~~

You were in the middle of rehearsals when your phone vibrated in your pocket, interrupting you in mid-chorus during the vocal drills with your coach. You gave him an apologetic smile before excusing yourself to answer it.

"Let’s take five." You said to the band who were more than happy to do so, as their lead drummer said they needed to talk about a change in the rhythm on the bridge part.

You entered through the right side of stage and almost choked on your own spit when you saw the caller ID blinking on the screen: Guk.

Chewing on your lip, the memory of the flowers you received this morning popped in your head and you almost pressed the decline button, not knowing how to handle a conversation with him now after receiving those flowers…

The phone kept ringing and you sighed, knowing that Guk was the type to keep calling no matter what. When you were still together, you knew he rarely made calls and when he did, he made sure you answered them simply because he was going to keep calling until you picked up.

Sighing, you swiped at your phone screen and answered, "Yeoboseyo?"

"Glad to know you still know better than to ignore my calls." He said and you could practically hear the smirk in his tone.

"What do you want, Guk?"

"Was this a bad time?”

"I'm in the middle of rehearsals, actually." You sighed.

"Oh…" He mused. "Me too."

"Then, how are you calling me?"

"On break. We've been dancing for like three hours straight."

Your eyes widened at the information and you said almost in autopilot mode, "What? Aren't you tired? Are they giving you guys a hard time?"

There was a pause on the other end and you almost thought the connection had faltered. But a few seconds later, Guk muttered, "You worry too much."

--Flashback--

"You worry too much, Y/N." Guk chuckled as you handed him a bottle of water and wiped his sweat from his forehead with a towel. It was late and you decided to pay him a visit at the studio downtown where he practiced his dancing almost every night.

Guk had recently signed in with a small company and was officially a trainee. The producers and instructors saw in him a huge amount of talent and potential, and found him to be very promising so they decided to make him an official trainee for a group they planned on debuting in a few years. They said it was going to be big.

"Because I can't have you sick." You said as you showed him a box of Chinese take-out you bought on the way here. You knew he was dieting but you couldn’t just let him starve.

One meal wouldn't make him gain weight with all the dancing he’s doing anyway, you thought. Guk had the tendency to overwork. He wanted to be the best in everything he does and so he works extra hours, works extra hard on all their routines. Even his rest days were spent here in this small studio where he rehearsed his dancing and singing.

"Eat up. I got your favorite.” You looked at him and saw him already staring at you with a dreamlike expression on his face. "Why are you looking at me with that weird face?" You asked as you rummaged for some chopsticks inside the paper bag.

"Ouch." He mocked a hurt expression as you handed him the chopsticks and you looked back into the bag just as he added, "That was my 'I think I'm in love with my girlfriend' look."

You stopped the moment the words were out of his mouth and you looked back at him in shock, seeing his face unchanged, staring at you with an adoring gaze and a soft smile. "W—what?"

"You heard me." He whispered.

In the six months that you've been dating, this was the first time Guk had said that he loved you. Sure, you felt it. You felt it in the way he cared for you and how he always wanted to be with you. But having him said it out loud made your heart do flips, spins, and everything in between.

"Y/N?" He said as he poked your cheek, worried that he had said it the wrong time and that he must have scared the hell out of you. "You don’t have to say it back…” you interrupted him by wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in for a hug, not even caring if he was sweaty. You felt him immediately succumb to your embrace and his arms circled your waist, his nose burying on your neck.

"I love you, too." You murmured as you played with the hair just above his nape.

"I love you." He said again and your smile widened as you buried your face on his shoulder.

"You smell."

Guk chuckled, "But you love me anyway."

You smiled at his words, knowing that it was true. You were in love with him and it didn't matter if people thought you were too young to know love or if the food you bought was getting cold. All you knew was nothing else mattered. All you wanted was to stay a while in his arms with those three words echoing in your head and in your heart.

--End of flashback--

"Hello? Y/N? You still there?"

You snapped back from your reverie, embarrassed for spacing out. "Oh, sorry. Yeah, I’m here."

"Thought you hung up on me." He chuckled slightly and you didn't find his joke funny at all, considering that your relationship ended with a single phone call too. Noticing your quietness, Guk cleared his throat to ease the awkwardness and tension.

"Hey… I didn't mean it like—"

"Why did you call?" You asked, then kind of felt bad for saying it so harshly. "I'm kind of busy, Guk.”

"I-I…” Guk stuttered, not knowing exactly what to answer to that. "I just wanted to talk to you, I guess." He confessed and you didn't know what to feel about that. In fact, you weren't sure what to feel about him in general, to be honest.

"About?"

About us, Guk wanted to say. "I just want to talk. I'm bored." He said instead and he wanted to slap himself for saying so.

"Well, I'm busy, Guk." You said. "Go bother someone else."

"Y/N—" he heard your name being called over the line followed by a sigh.

"I gotta go. We're going back to rehearsals."

"Oh. Yeah. Of course. When’s the concert again?"

"In a couple of days. I have a guesting this afternoon too— “

"Pop Mix?”

You scrunched your eyebrows at his answer, "How did you know—"

"Wild guess." He said. "Alright, good luck, then."

Silence hung over the line and you wondered if you should be the first to hang up but a question was bugging you at the back of your head and was simply itching to be asked.

"I'm gonna go now—" Guk started.

"Wait, Guk—"

"Yeah?" He answered almost instantly, his voice sounding brighter—hopeful.

"About the flow—" You started just as your coach called for you from across the stage.

"What?" He asked and you sighed.

"Never mind. I have to go, Guk. Bye." You said and hung up to continue practice before your coach made you sing your songs ten more times than the usual.

~~~

You arrived at the Pop Mix studio late afternoon, a couple of hours before the live show started. After a photo session with the paparazzi at the entrance, you were immediately pulled into to the dressing room to prepare.

As you were getting ready, you plugged in your earphones and listened to your latest voice note, which was a melody you recently created. As the acoustic melody played, you thought about the conversation you had with Guk this morning. It was short but it made you remember some good—and painful—memories. When he told you that he wanted to talk to you, you admitted that you felt your heart race, and you knew you wanted the same thing.

~

Please don't see, just a girl caught up in dreams and fantasies...

~

The moment the line popped into your head, you wrote it down on your phone and saved it. When you read the line again, you thought just how pathetic you were being… reaching out for something you knew wasn't there anymore.

You got hurt once, Y/N. How stupid are you to go through it again?

But thinking of the last few days, you worried that you just might be falling into his trap once again and that you'd end up hurting just like the last time.

You wouldn't, you told yourself. And you’re not letting him get to you again. With that, you closed your phone shut, willing yourself to forget about your confused feelings or your thoughts about Guk; and promising yourself that what's past is past and what you should be doing is moving on… not thinking about the likes of Byun Gukju.

~~~

Guk was backstage, waiting for their turn for their mic test and blocking rehearsal when he caught sight of you just getting out from the elevator, wearing a dark blue sleeveless blouse and skinny jeans. He stared at you for a while, mesmerized by your look. You were never one to get glammed up before and though you already looked beautiful in a simple tee and jeans with no make-up on, seeing you all dressed up made his heart palpitate like he had just ran a marathon. Your beauty enthralled him in ways he couldn’t understand and before he knew it, he was already walking towards you.

You looked up and your eyes met, the two of you just standing there and staring at each other.

"Hey." He said as he placed his hands in his pockets.

You stared at him then, looking down at his clothes and trying not to think about how good (And sexy) he looked in it. Those leather pants should really by illegal in those thighs. It took a moment to find your voice again. "No wonder you knew which show I was going to be in."

Guk chuckled and you groaned inwardly. Why does he have to look so cute? you thought, wishing you could place a paper bag over his head to make things a little easier.

"I told you, it was a wild guess." He shrugged. "I didn't know you were guesting here. Promise.”

"Of course you didn’t." You rolled your eyes then continued to walk past him. But before you could move away, Guk caught your elbow and you gasped slightly as he pulled you back.

"What?" You almost growled in annoyance.

Guk only smiled, finding your annoyance to be amusing. It made him remember how he used to tease you back in high school and how annoyed you got to the point that your face turned red. Seeing the smile on his face, you drew your arm back forcefully giving him a glare, "What are you trying to do, Guk?"

Guk frowned at your retort. "What are you talking about?”

"Don't play dumb." You scoffed. "The texts, the calls…”

"Is it so bad to text or call you?" He asked defensively, his voice almost rising as their argument escalated. "Is it so bad to want to talk to you?"

You weren’t so sure of the answer to that as well.

"No," you snapped back. "But the flowers were a little too much, don't you think?"

"What are you— “

“Jane-ssi!” The two of you looked up at the sudden call of your name and was surprised to see Guk's bandmate, Hyun, looking at you with a big smile on his face, completely oblivious to the rising conflict in front of him. "Annyeong." He greeted with a bow. “How are you?”

“Oh, Hyun." You bowed slightly. "Hi. I'm okay. You?” You smiled back, and you heard Guk sigh as he turned from the two of you slightly, a little annoyed and displeased that he interrupted your conversation.

“I’m great now that I got to see you.” He flirted. “I actually just wanted to ask if you got my gift?”

Guk perked up at his statement and half turned, staring Hyun down thought the latter’s attention was completely focused on you.

“Gift?” You asked, curiously. "I don't think I received anything under your name…”

"That's because I went anonymously." He grinned and your eyes widened at that. Wait, he couldn't be—

"What gift?" Guk asked, voice low and insinuative. From the corner of your eyes, you saw his jaw clench slightly, before he switched his gaze back to you. It seemed that you both already knew the answer to his question.

“The flowers.” Hyun smiled sweetly at you. “I sent them this morning.”