Chapter Three

When you know someone so well, every part of that person becomes familiar to you to the point that you didn’t even need all five senses to recognize them.

The moment he heard your voice, Guk's head snapped up, his eyes landing on the monitor above him where a beautiful girl in a simple white dress was singing with a guitar in hand.

Y/N?

He thought as he slowly removed his earplugs, feeling his heart thundering in his chest. He leaned his elbows on his knees, his stare unwavering from yours, mesmerized by the sight of you. It had been five years since he’d last seen you. Five years since he last heard your voice. But even though that's the case, he knew you by heart and from the first note that came out of your lips, he knew immediately that it was you. Even if that girl on the screen looked a little different.

Your hair was shorter and fell just shy of your shoulders. It was also dyed with a golden-brown color, which complimented your skin tone. Guk stared at your face, which he found breathtakingly beautiful, though he still thought you looked absolutely lovely without it.

Still so beautiful, he thought just as the camera zoomed in on your face. You looked straight into the camera and Guk felt like the breath was knocked out of his lungs and his brain decided to unveil bits and pieces of memories that flashed before his very eyes:

Hands entwined...

Head against his chest as an arm drapes across his torso; the smell of strawberries consuming him.

A smile and a laugh that sounded like chimes, melodious and happy...

Soft lips against his... The taste sweeter than anything he had ever known...

"I wonder if she'll take a picture with me if I asked." Hyun said, snapping Guk back to his senses.

Picture? He suddenly stood up, making the other two on the couch jump. Guk had a wild look in his eyes as he looked down at his friends who in turn looked at him like he just grew another head. "Picture? Why don’t we find out, hyung?”

He grabbed Hyun's arm and pulled him away.

"What?!" Hyun said in shock as he tried to pull away from his grip. "But I'm not ready to meet Jane!”

Her name's not Jane, Guk wanted to say but decided not to drop the bomb on him and tell him that his idol was actually his best friend from way back...

His ex-girlfriend, to be specific.

"Fine I'll go alone."

"Whoa, whoa!" Hyun stopped him. "No way. If you're seeing her I'm coming with. I'm not gonna let you steal my girl."

"She's not—" Guk felt his knuckles clench to a close and he had the sudden urge to punch him but the moment the words came out of his mouth, he realized just how wrong his statement was and he immediately shut his mouth before Hyun recognized his mistake.

She's not yours, he wanted to say.

Well she's not yours anymore either, he told himself.

"Whatever. Are you coming or not?" Guk asked impatiently and Hyun smirked as he followed him out of the room.

"Slow down, Guk." He chuckled. "I told you…" Hyun glanced sideways at him, a knowing smile gracing his lips. "Told you she was hot."

Guk felt a little uncomfortable at how he thinks that his ex-girlfriend was hot and he wasn't sure what exactly he was feeling every time he talked about you in that way. It was almost like he wanted to tell him to back off—

Shut it, Guk! What you had was long gone. You moved on.

Right?

"Hey." Hyun tapped his shoulder and as he glanced at him, he saw his hyung giving him a concerned gaze. "You alright?"

"Yeah." He lied, knowing well that he wasn't.

~~~

There was something about the crowd's cheers, the spotlights pointed at you, and the music booming around the studio that made you feel like you were on top of the world. Singing and making music had always been something you loved to do and that love heightened whenever you performed—whenever you shared your music to people.

After the performance, you bowed and waved at the audience and received a resounding applause. Smiling, you left the stage to make way for the next performers.

"Great number," Jordan smiled as he welcomed you backstage. "As usual."

"Thanks." You smiled just as a couple of idols passed you, bowing and telling you how great your performance was.

“Gomapseupnida.” You said in your native tongue, feeling weird at how it sounded almost foreign to your ears. You figured it was because you had spent the last few years in America surrounded by English-speaking people. You bowed back before moving to follow Jordan to the waiting room.

A couple of your stylists made their way towards you, handing you a bottle of water and wiping sweat from your forehead with a tissue. You were just about to enter the waiting room when you felt a light tap on your right shoulder. Turning around, you caught sight of a guy with blonde hair and a bright smile, wearing white long-sleeved polo and slacks.

"Annyeonghasseyo, Jane-ssi." He bowed politely and you smiled back, bowing a greeting in return.

"Hello."

"I'm Hyun." He introduced himself and you couldn't help but stare at him, finding him to be attractive with his sharp eyes, full lips, and basically a face straight out of a manga. "I'm a big fan of your music. I think you’re amazing!"

"Oh, thank you." You bowed with a smile. "It's nice to meet you, Hyun-ssi."

"I don't want to seem like such a fanboy," he chuckled and you smiled, finding his laugh to be adorable and contagious. "But would it be alright if I get a picture with you?"

"Oh!" You smiled and nodded. "Not at all. Of course."

"Ah really?!" He asked happily and you couldn't help but giggle at his enthusiasm. He looked like he just won the lottery or something; his eyes literally sparkling.

"Yah! Guk! Don’t just stand there. Come take our picture!"

Wait, who? You thought in panic just as you looked at the direction Hyun was calling over. Coming towards you was a guy with black hair and doe-shaped eyes dressed in a white long-sleeved polo and a black tie, similar to what Hyun was wearing. He had gotten taller the last time you'd seen him. His form had gotten more buff and his facial features more mature and sharper somehow.

Nonetheless, he still looked breathtaking. Even more so than before and you weren't sure how that was possible.

"Sure, hyung." He muttered as he took out his phone, glancing at you but there was no recognition in his eyes whatsoever. You almost wondered if he didn't recognize you at all, considering that you did look a little different with dyed hair and full on make-up…

But not that different, you thought as to become totally unrecognizable. Hyun stepped beside you to pose for the picture. You were still thinking about how on earth you had gotten into this situation when a familiar voice said,

"Smile, Y/N."

You looked up at the mention of your real name, staring at the boy behind the camera... the boy who stole your heart for the very first time and the boy who broke your heart five years ago.

They’re one and the same, you thought as mixed feelings consumed you: surprise, happiness, anger... Definitely anger.

You looked straight into the lens and smiled, hooking your arm through Hyun's and leaned in close. You saw a change in Guk's expression. It was slight and would've been missed by most but you saw it: the frown that graced his lips. It was pretty obvious that he was frowning at your close proximity and you smirked inwardly before smiling sweetly, making sure he saw it in your face. Guk clenched his jaw then and counted to three before pressing the capture button.

~~~

Guk had been contented watching you from a corner where he was completely hidden from your view. He watched as you got off stage, observed as you walked with a guy and a couple of stylists, thinking how completely different you were now.

"I'm gonna go and talk to her." Hyun said and before he could stop him, he had already sauntered away. Hyun loved to do that: make friends with everybody and Guk kind of envied that attitude and confidence. Hyun could get along easily with anyone with his bright and bubbly personality. As in his case, he was often shy around new people and it took time to be able to be friends with him. Sometimes, he wished he could be a little more like Hyun, someone who could make you feel like you've known each other for years despite having just met...

Like what he's doing right now, he thought as he watched Hyun talking with you animatedly, his smile practically splitting his face in half. Guk felt a pang of jealousy building up in his chest when you smiled—laughed—at something Hyun had said. He remembered how hard it was to make you smile before or to get your attention, even. And he wasn't sure what to feel about how his bandmate easily made you do it.

Stop it, Guk. He scolded himself. Hyung's just like that…

He was just about to go when he heard his name being called, his breath hitching in his throat. Taking a deep breath, he tried to make his face expressionless as he made his way towards the both of you. He tried not stare at you and made it seem as if he didn’t know you at all. From the surprise and confused look on your face, he was doing a good job.

He was going to keep up the act but when he saw your frowning face on his phone screen, he couldn't help himself and slipped. "Smile, Y/N."

--Flashback--

"Guk! No more pictures!" You whined as you covered his DSLR's lens.

"Oh, come on, babe…" He cooed as he removed your hand gently and leaned closer. "Just one smile…”

"No!" You said. "I look horrible today!”

"You look horribly beautiful, then." He grinned just as he took the shot. He looked at the camera's screen and smiled. "Yep. Beautiful."

"Weirdo. My hair's a mess and I'm not even wearing any make-up—" You were interrupted when Guk suddenly leaned in and planted a chaste kiss on your lips. You blushed at the contact and he chuckled at your flushed expression.

"You give yourself less credit than you should." He said. "You're beautiful, Y/N."

"You're my boyfriend, you're supposed to say that." You chuckled as you pinched his nose. Guk caught your hand and kissed it.

"I'm the only one who can call you that, okay?"

"What? That I'm pretty?" You made a face.

"That you're mine." He said and Guk knew he meant it with all his heart. He was in love with you and there was no changing that.

--End of flashback--

You stood there awkwardly right after the picture, wishing Jordan would come out to the rescue already.

"Thank you, Jane-ssi." Hyun said and you gave him a smile. He then nudged Guk, who was staring wordlessly at you. "Did you want a picture too?"

Guk blinked and you bit your lip to keep a grin from showing. He looked like he was just woken from a dream. "Um. No, it’s fine. She must be busy..."

"Guk." He looked you in the eye then, and you swore you felt your heart race.

“Y/N.” He said and you tried to ignore the pang in your chest at the way he called your real name once again.

Hyun stood there, looking back and forth between the two of you. "Uh... You guys know each other?"

"It’s been a while...” You started, ignoring Hyun’s question.

"About five years." Guk said as he placed his hands in his pockets. "But who's counting?"

You weren't sure what to reply to that and you noticed that it sounded slightly sarcastic. It was a good thing that Hyun was very curious and jumped into the conversation. "Jinja? You were friends way back?"

You gave him a small smile while Guk muttered, "You can say that.”

"You got something to say, Guk?" You said and he looked at you in surprise, not expecting you to retaliate.

"Oh well, I'm going to leave you two to catch up." He said as he inched away from the both of you, feeling the palpable tension between you two. "Oh, Guk. We're on in a few minutes. Don't take too long." He reminded before moving away.

Once he was out of earshot, you faced Guk with a slight glare. "What was that all about?"

"What?"

"You know what."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

You've forgotten how stubborn he could be but decided not to give in and just ignore it. "So, you're performing today?"

He nodded, "With my group."

You nodded, "What's the name?"

"R2K." You nodded, pursing your lips to keep from saying more.

"What's so funny?" He asked.

"Nothing.”

He snorted as he rolled his eyes. "I think I know when you're laughing at me."

"I'm not laughing at you." You protested. "I just—it's a cute name. It’s very… poppy."

“And what about you? Ms. Jane Lou?”

“What about me?”

“Why’d you change your name?”

“Because I thought if I’m going to be a celebrity, might as well use the chance to have another identity.”

Guk snorted once again. “Okay, Hannah Montana. And we are not poppy.”

You eyed him from head to toe. "With those matching outfits? You’re not really helping your cause here. You have boyband written all over you. I bet you’re performing a dance track.”

“You think we’re cute?”

“I thought Hyun was.”

Guk seemed irritated by your comment. “Whatever. Well, you won't think we’re just ‘boyband cute’ once you see our comeback stage."

"Yeah?"

"Will you watch?"

"I—" you looked behind you, wondering if your absence had already been discovered and if Jordan was already looking for you. "Maybe.”

Guk nodded and an awkward silence hung over the two of you. You simply stood there, not knowing what else to say. After a few moments, you were relieved when it was Guk who broke the dead air.

"That was a…” he cleared his throat. "Nice song."

"Oh." You said, suddenly feeling nervous as you tucked a loose hair strand behind your ear. "You saw that?"

"In the dressing room." He nodded. "I recognized your voice."

"Just my voice?" You teased but there wasn’t any malice in it.

"Mostly." He shrugged. "And your whole look, I guess. Still very pretty. The camera doesn't do you justice, though."

Your heart stopped at the compliment and how easily he had said it. You averted your gaze, feeling quite uncomfortable. "I—I gotta go."

Guk seemed to have realized what he just said a little too late and immediately stepped forward to stop you. "Wait, Y/N..."

You pressed your lips together and looked down at his hand on your forearm, ignoring how soft his hand felt against your skin. You cleared your throat and he immediately let go. "I'm sorry. I—I didn't mean it that way. I just meant you looked—"

"It's fine." You said as you gave him a small smile. "It was nice seeing you again, Guk."

You turned around to enter the waiting room but was surprised when Guk added, "Can I see you again?"

You stopped and half turned, giving him a questioning gaze. "Why?"

Guk didn't know the answer to that. In fact, he wasn't planning on asking you that question in the first place. He simply blurted it out. "I just wanted to..." He searched for a good reason and finally found one. "I just wanted to catch up, I guess. It's been a while."

I don’t think that’s a good idea, you wanted to say but instead you said, "I don't know... My schedule’s pretty packed.”

"Oh. I see." Guk said, looking a bit disappointed. “But will you let me know if you do have time?”

You wondered about his persistence but decided to play nice. “Sure.”

Guk handed you his phone and you looked at it as if it was something foreign. “Give me a call, okay?” You took the device, hand hovering over the screen’s number pad as you contemplated whether or not you should really give him your number. You could always type in your manager’s number instead. But your thumb seemed to have a mind of its own and before you knew it, you had already saved your personal contact on his phone.

“Here.”

Guk retrieved it and pocketed his phone, smiling that charming smile you knew so well. “Guess, I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah, I guess.” You shrugged before turning around.

“Hey, Y/N?” You looked over your shoulder, looking at him questioningly. As your gazes locked, his eyes softened and you ignored the fluttering sensation in your chest, scolding yourself for even feeling this way about your ex. “It’s really great to see you.”

You gave him a small smile and a nod, “You too,” before turning around and entering the waiting room.

~~~

Upon returning to their dressing room, Guk plopped himself down on the couch, sighing heavily. He opened his phone and stared at the picture he had taken of you and Hyun. He looked at your smiling face, and found himself smiling slightly—

“Is that her?”

Guk jumped and turned abruptly, seeing a surprised Jay with his hands up in the air. “Whoa! Sorry. Did I startle you?”

“Don’t go creeping behind me, hyung.” He huffed, though he knew he was only scared he had been caught staring at your picture.

“Hyun got a picture?” he grinned as he sat down beside him.

“He sure did.” He said as he tossed the phone towards him.

“She is pretty.” Jay said and Guk only hummed in reply. “Do you like her?”

“What?” Guk looked at him in panic. “What made you say that?”

“Dude, chill. I meant was she nice?”

“Oh, uh yeah. She was.”

Just then a familiar voice entered Guk’s ears and as he looked up on the monitor, he saw you with the MC doing an interview.

“We are so excited to have one of the best artists of this generation.” The MC announced as he looked at you. “Congratulations on your new album, Jane-ssi… and of course, the Grammy nomination.”

The crowd cheered and Guk couldn’t help but smile, his heart swelling up with pride. He always believed you could do great things.

“Thank you.” You said. “It’s been a crazy ride, to be honest. But I’m glad that so many are supporting my music. And of course, it’s really great to be back. I really missed it here.”

“Can you tell us something about your new single?”

“It’s the first single off my new album, ‘A Day without You.’” You looked straight at the camera and Guk felt a pang in his heart at your next words. “It’s a song about moving on from someone who promised you forever but didn’t really keep his word. I actually wrote it a few years back…” you looked back at the MC, “and is based from a personal experience.”

A series of ‘oohs’ filled the studio and Guk looked down at his hands, fidgeting with his fingers as he continued to listen to your interview. “Personal experience, you say? So that means some punk broke your heart?” The MC asked, earning some cheers and laughs from the crowd.

Guk looked up at the screen and found your eyes looking straight at the camera just as you answered, “He sure did.”

~~~

You couldn’t sleep that night.

Lying on the soft linen sheets, you found yourself staring up at the ceiling, sighing almost every two minutes. Your mind was filled with the one thing you swore you would never look back on again: the relationship you had with Guk.

You weren’t sure what to feel about seeing him again. You kind of expected to see him, considering that you knew he had become an idol and the industry wasn’t that large for the two of you not to cross paths once again. But you just never realize the impact it had on you.

Turning on your side, you caught sight of the alarm clock on your bedside table, seeing that it was already past 1 a.m. You grunted as you covered your eyes with your forearm, willing yourself to fall asleep already.

You’re going to look like a walking zombie on tomorrow’s interview, you warned yourself just as your phone vibrated beside you. Sighing, you opened it up and saw an unknown number on your screen. You opened up the message and found two words written on it:

It’s me.

You snorted. Of course it was Guk. You didn’t give your personal number to just anyone.

Hi Guk. Noted. You replied and you almost laughed at yourself for texting it so formally.

G: How did you know it was me? :P

You shook your head at his text. Because you’re the only one I gave my number to today, pabo. You wanted to say but before you could type in a reply another text came in:

G: And why are you still awake? :O

You: I should be asking you the same thing

G: Late night dance practice at the studio. Hyung couldn’t get the moves right.

You: Sure it wasn’t you?

G: Of course not. I got every move right from the beginning.

You: Still cocky, as usual.

G: :P Are you going to sleep already?

You: Yes.

His next text came in a minute later than the others and you wondered what took him so long to text a reply.

G: Okay. Sleep well, Y/N. :)

You: You too.

G: I’ll try.

You: Why? Is it that hard?

G: Yeah 

You: Try counting sheep.

G: No thanks. I’ll listen to your album, instead. ;)

Your eyes widened at his reply. You have my album?

G: Hyun hyung does. I’m borrowing it.

You: Oh okay.

G: Kidding. I did buy it. I wanted to ask if you’d sign it…

You laughed at his reply and texted: Maybe…

G: I’m counting on that. :) Go to sleep, it’s late.

You: Don’t you mean early? :>

G: Are you flirting with me?

You rolled your eyes at his reply but you couldn’t help but smile. He hasn’t changed one bit.

You: Good night, Guk.

G: kidding. Good night, Y/N. :D

You placed your phone on the bedside table as you sent the text, a ghost of a smile gracing your lips. You couldn’t understand how he does it, but Guk always had a way with his words. You remembered how he could always make you speak up, how he could easily strike a conversation with you even though you yourself was not one to talk much.

Tonight, you weren’t even sure how on earth you ended up talking to him and it was like you had forgotten everything that had happened between the two of you in the past.

The thought of the past made you frown, thinking of the times you had cursed him, how you promised to never look back, and how you promised to forget—

Buzz…

You scrunched your eyebrows as you checked your phone, discovering another text from Guk.

I listened to A Day Without You… And I just wanted to say I’m sorry.

It seemed as if time has stopped as you read the text and you couldn’t exactly understand what you were feeling or did you know what you were supposed to feel. You didn’t reply and placed your phone back on the table instead, leaving the words floating in your consciousness.

With the words still in mind, a melody started to form in your head and you grabbed your guitar before it slipped away, forgetting sleep completely.