Chapter 3: My Innocence

The next day of school goes by without any issues or trouble from Jake Brady. I guess kicking the snot out of someone will force them to leave you alone. I buy my lunch for the first time in years, knowing that Neanderthal won't steal my money. I even buy lunch for Lucas and Maximus. I'm positive and calm. That's how today feels different. Tori has brought a little joy back into my life. The picnic at the cemetery is only a few days away.

"Hey, Ollie." I look behind me in the hallway. It's Lucas.

"Hey, Lucas. What's going on? You look flustered," I say.

"Well, you know how running in these hallways with my small legs can be. You guys are Ents, and I'm a Hobbit. I just dropped the ring of power off to my chemistry teacher," he jokes.

Lucas is such a fantasy nerd. I sometimes wonder if he is a reincarnation of a television character or space alien.

"Lucas, you need to stop it with the Lord of the Rings jokes," I say, embarrassed.

"Only if you stop thinking phones and technology are sacrilegious," he says.

"But they are sacrilegious, " I say. We both start laughing.

"What do you need, Lucas?" I ask.

I know him well enough by now. He stalls and drags out a conversation to get what he wants until he breaks down to confess his real agenda.

"Well, I'm the new president of the fantasy club, and it starts today. I need a new Vice President," Lucas says.

"Isn't James Foster your vice?" I ask.

"No, he transferred last week. He texted me last night. So now here's my question. Can you do it? I asked Maximus, but he said no," he says.

He looks at me like a puppy begging for table scraps.

"Well, if he can say no, so can I. So, hear me when I say Hell No!" I laugh.

"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope," Lucas grovels.

"Lucas, you will never be a Jedi. We all know you are Jar Jar Binks," I say as I roll my eyes and continue.

"Ask Dale. It would make Tori happy that her friends are trying to befriend her boyfriend," I suggest.

The idea annoys me, but if Dale's off playing Game of Thrones Club, I can ask Tori to help me with Waggie Walkers. I liked her company, and Mrs. Jenking would make all the cookies on the planet for Tori. And that means more chocolate chip awesomeness and Tori time for me. But, wait, am I trying to steal someone else's woman? I need to rethink my life choices.

"That's a great idea. I will ask him. If he says no, you are not off the hook, Oliver. You will be my partner in crime," Lucas says.

"Not today, Lucas. I have to go to trigonometry," I say as I wave goodbye.

If there's anything I hate more in this world, it's shapes. I hate studying them and pretending I know what cosine is. It sounds like the name of a rock band to me. I'm pretty sure a tangent is an endless bunny trail in a conversation between two people. Who knows?

"Hey, Ollie, I didn't know you had this class." It's Tori's cousin Shannon Swann.

It's creepy how similar they look. The only difference is Shannon is a blonde. She looks like an heiress to a Viking throne or an escapee from Scandinavia. Tori is the dark-haired and brown-eyed cousin twin to Shannon. They don't have the same birthday but close enough. They are a month apart if memory serves me well.

Shannon and I never got along. She doesn't like that I am friends with Tori, brother to Ronnie, and friends with Maximus. My existence is an insult to her, but she tolerates me since she hangs with my sister.

"Yes, I have this class. I attend this school. Surprise," I say.

This chick needs a hobby. At this point, it's chatter, gossip, and high squeaky giggles.

"I spoke on the phone with Tori last night. So what the hell are you doing, taking her on a walk?" Shannon bitches.

She stares into my soul with her green eyes. Is she serious? It's a crime to take friends to my side business.

"She was helping me with Waggie Walkers. I walk dogs for helpless elderly people in my neighborhood. What's it to you? It's a crime to have friends help me walk large animals?" I bark.

I turn my back and head to class. Trigonometry is a life-draining lesson on triangles. Acute angles are not cute. So why can't we learn about personal finances? Or actual things I will need to know as an upcoming adult?

The bell rings, and the end of the school day is one more class away. My last class is a study hall. I use the entire hour to do homework.

Without a cell phone to distract me, I get my homework done. I want to have a life outside of school. In study hall, I look around at my screen-faced zombie peers. These are the faces to change the world. These are the faces I will be in a nursing home with one day, disgusting.

Why am I such a weirdo? I wish I were one of them, zombied out on my phone giggling at words plastered on a fat cat picture. But it's a waste of time. Like any of these people will be my real friends.

My friendships with Maximus and Lucas feel like they are fading away. We are growing apart, and I almost don't care to stop it now.

High School is over in 8-9 months. They will go to college, we will lose touch, and we will catch up at reunions. I need to live in this moment and be friends with them right here and now. I only have today to live, be young, and enjoy the freedom of simplicity.

The bell to end the day sounds. I take my keys and head to the Cave Troll. As I get to my car, I see a note crumpled under my windshield wipers. It's a note from my childhood rival, Jake Brady.

I thought kicking his ass yesterday was enough. Apparently, beating him up wasn't the end. I don't care to read a note from this ruffian. For all, I know someone else wrote it and signed it off in his name. I take the note and place it in my car. The note is hidden in my glove box.

I put the keys in the ignition. I hear a faint tapping against the glass of my window. It's Maximus.

"Hey bro, can I have a lift?" Maximus asks.

"Yeah, sure! Where are you heading to?" I start the car.

"To Tori's house. Annoying family reunion nonsense. I hate family obligations, barf. The worst part is grandma is making her infamous meatloaf. I'm quite sure Sweeney Todd himself gave her a recipe. I found a toe in the meat one time," he exaggerates.

"No, you didn't. You need to stop watching Tim Burton movies. You should have been the vice president of Lucas's fantasy club. Why the hell did you turn that gig down? You're a nerd, too," I say.

I hand him a bag of chips. He loves BBQ chips so much that I keep them in my car for him. The Cave Troll is my car and his pantry.

"I don't have time. So my mom's making me retake advanced piano lessons. You know how I'm supposed to be a music Major and perform. I mean, I want to study music, but I don't know if the piano is what I want to study." He looks at his large man hands.

"Well, at least the music gods blessed you with large hands to reach all the keys. Think of our poor Hobbit, Lucas. He can barely play guitar," I reply.

"That may be true. At least he can write songs for the Know it Ya'lls. Speaking of Lucas's band, they have asked me to play the piano for them. I said yes, so it gives me an excuse to play the piano. It's not the way my mom wants me to play or practice. It's going to be a compromise. There is going to be a Battle of the Bands coming up soon. You should come and check it out. It's either this Friday or next. I can't remember," he says while thinking.

"Sure, I will bring my sister along, and we can sit in the front row. So she can bathe in your sweat," I laugh.

"Dude, that's not cool. Don't joke about that," Maximus blushes.

It's so obvious he likes my little sister. I cringe inside at the thought. Ronnie could use a good guy like Maximus. She thinks she's too good for anyone.

"Yeah, I'm kidding," I say.

"Besides, we all know you dig Tori. If you go there, I will kill you," he warns me. Does he think I care at this point?

"Whatever you say, Max!" I attempt to deny it.

I pull into his driveway. I see his cousin, Tori, and Dale at Tori's house. My body sinks into my car. I feel my physical reactions surface again, the anger, the flustering, the jealousy. It all consumes me. I need to leave. I'm turning into an asshole.

"See you later, man," I shout.

I don't say hi to Tori, I don't wave at Max, and most importantly, I don't look at Dale. He doesn't know how lucky he is to be that guy. He is liked by everyone. He's perfect, she's perfect, and I'm imperfect. I am this messed up version of myself that no one recognizes anymore. My friends tolerate me and try to make me happy. My dad's death is this elephant in the room. We hardly talk about it.

I'm glad for the picnic coming up, but I don't want Dale there. I don't. The thought is twisted, but I can't handle grieving and jealousy together. It might break me more than heal me.

Tori has been this lifeline, tossed into the ocean of my fury. Dale and her together makes my heart drown further. I feel the weight of seeing them together. My chest feels the weight; it is so heavy. Am I a jealous freak? I don't like this feeling, and if this is what it means to be jealous, then forget it.

I go home and do what I do best, retreat to the treehouse. The smell of my dad is everywhere, and I lay there for hours. A storm makes its way toward the treehouse, the tree sways, the wind blows, and the rain engulfs the treehouse. My innocence is this treehouse, the symbol of my childhood, my father, and my freedom.

Building this treehouse was us building our family up. It was him raising me in the branches of manhood. The tree's roots hold my memories, the trunk the sturdy foundation, and the branches the extended family and friends who made this treehouse possible. The treehouse is my haven, and I never want to leave.

Hours pass, and the storm stops. I hear someone making their way across the treehouse bridge. I know it's Tori coming to check on me.

She finds me drinking half a beer. She doesn't know I come in here sometimes to have a beer with my father's ghost and memories.

"Ollie, are you okay? Put that away. Where did you even get that from?" She asks.

I hand it to her. I feel a little bit tipsy. I know my father would be disappointed in me, but he isn't here.

"It was from my father's old stash. I have one every now and then," I reply.

She walks me over to the couch.

"You can't be beating yourself up about this anymore, Ollie. I can't stand to see you so depressed." She hands me water and an aspirin.

"I think you should see the school counselor tomorrow. Don't mention the drinking part but tell them you can't cope. You are emotionally compromised, Ollie. The old you would never drink and hide in this treehouse. Our fathers built these treehouses for us to feel connected, not isolated. Stop abusing their legacy and come with me," she says.

She grabs my hand and tries to get me to leave the treehouse.

"I can't leave," I say, trying to honor the fact I am not Dale, I can't date my sister's friends, and Maximus will kick my ass if I love her.

It's hard to keep one's word with this minor headache. I wish I didn't drink that horse piss-tasting beer.

"You're coming with me, Ollie. I'm taking you home. Climb down now before I go get Ronnie," Tori threatens.

A threat to get my sister always works on me. I love Ronnie, but if she finds me with Tori, I'm dead.

All the reasons I can't like Tori don't matter anymore. I do like her, and here she is, trying to help my ass. Again, she grabs my hand, and this time I let her. Before we leave the treehouse, I pull her in for a hug. Her head lays on my chest, and I can smell her hair. I let go, and she looked at me, startled and confused.

We head down the ladder of the treehouse, she doesn't say anything, and I don't either. The tension between us has started up again. As we stare at each other below the treehouse, I rest my head on her forehead again.

"Thank you for getting me home," I say goodbye to her and head into my bed and sleep off the alcohol that has taken over my brain.