8

VANYA'S POV

“ But then maybe our stories were never meant to be told.”

The lyrics I've heard yesterday seems like it has struck in the back of my head. Even though my heart aches but still my consciousness wasn't rubbing it through my head. Maybe because that line tells a lot about my situation. Just like my and Dhruv story were maybe never meant to have our own happy ending.

Inhaling a deep breathe, I forced my feet to move towards the therapy room. As I walk passed patient rooms, I observed nothing but paleness as if there was nothing special in those rooms. But could anyone's life be more cursed than mine? Maybe, not.

I glanced at the blue bulb glowing above the door of therapy room and released a low sigh. I bite my lips in nervousness and sat on the waiting bench which was empty.

I don't want this. I just don't. The therapist will purposely try to open the fresh wounds and will end up by making the matter only worse for me. I don't get it that why in the first place my parents think that I need to be admitted into Rehab? My life is fucked up, that's it. And I don't think that any Rehab or therapist will be able to heal the pain my heart was bearing.

Door flew open and a boy around his earlier twenties stormed out of the room in a hyper expression. His lips was twitched in rage and eyes narrowed. For a second his eyes connected with mine and he rolled his eyes and then left. Huh? Maybe he had rough therapy session or was reluctant with all these Rehab crap like me.

" Next patient." A feminine voice made me stood up and stumble inside the room with my heart all ready to came out of my throat.

Indeed, I was nervous wreck. I squeezed my eyes to built up some courage in me to face this horrible situation. Rubbing my palm over my other wrist, I cast a look in front and noticed every detail. It was a typical setup like what I've seen in movies. In the center there was a table and two chairs across it. On the corner a blue couch was teamed with a rectangle glass table on which few books and a water bottle was kept. Walls were painted in simple blue color with few posters tapped on them of vibrant quote about mental illness. Shrugging my shoulder a little, I looked at therapist who was none other then that woman whom I met yesterday. What was her name? Uh..Yes, Avantika Avasthi. She was busy in reading some reports that's why maybe she hasn't yet noticed me. I coughed to grab her attention and took baby steps to the patient's chair.

She tilted her head and glanced at me through her spectacles. She quickly passed a warm smile and shut the file. I nodded in response and sat on the chair. I fixed my eyes on the table and silently wished to disappear from here.

" Vanya." She greeted, again with a smile.

My mouth dried but by ignoring my state, I clenched my fist to make myself ready for her cold questions which were ready to be thrown on me.

" How are you."

I laughed mentally at her stupid question and drowned in flashbacks were every single person used to ask me the same question. Why ask such question when you would never understand the demons of other person?

" Good." I replied, dryly. Lie. A big, fat lie. I was anything but good.

She laughed lightly and to my periphery I saw her removing her spectacle. "You know Vanya, hiding your true emotions won't make anything easy."

" I don't want to make anything easy." I snapped, clenching my fist more tightly.

She sighed. " Admitting that you're not feeling good-"

" STOP. JUST STOP ALREADY, please." I screamed, pulling my gaze up to her level and pushed my nails to dig deeper into my Palm's flesh.

My chest constricted in suffocation and at that moment, I even hated her pretty face. I can't do this. I simply can't. I don't have enough strength to bear her verbal tortures about how should I feel or not. She didn't have any idea through which mental turmoil I am going through and that's why she was ready to blabber the fucking crap in front of me in an attempt to polish my life but Alas, she will never be able to mend the broken pieces of my soul.

"Calm down. We'll not talk about anything, okay? Just relax." She coaxed, pushing the glass full of water to me.

I pursued my lips inhaled a deep breath to end the physical suffocation though the painful suffocation of my heart was incurable.

" Can I leave?" I asked, gulping the water down my throat.

" Your session timing has just started so no."

I released my fist and found prickles of blood, oozing from my palm's flesh due to my own nails. Slowly brushing my thumb over them, I pressed my eyes shut.

Cooperate, Vanya. Just for few minutes, cooperate and after that you don't have to bear this torture for today. "Ask whatever you want, I am ready." I spoke, in horse voice.

" You are here since yesterday, have your eyes catched interest in anything?" I shook my head at her question with my eyes still pressed shut.

" Or may I say in any song?" She added.

" But then maybe our stories were never meant to be told." I mumbled under my breath which made me snap my eyes in her direction.

Why she was referring about the song? Does she knew that I had spend my time next to some unknown boy in complete silence?

She smiled then shook her head. "You were humming some tune. So I thought to ask."

I nodded and then again bend my head low to ignore her compassionate eyes which were making me uncomfortable. At the reminder about that song, the lyric displayed in my head and simply my mouth started forming some words to share my strange connection associated with that song.

" On the balcony of third floor, I saw a boy of around my age who was lost in the world of his own by turning his headphone on. I sat beside him then he put his phone on speaker. That song swam through my nerves and for the first time after months, I felt peace."

My heart beats a little faster at the mention of that boy and that strange song but it felt right to spoke about him.

"Mhmm. Did you have a conversation with him?" She raised her eyebrows.

" No." That's why I found peace, wasn't it? If I would have talked to him then he must have judged me.

" That's enough, please. I don't want to continue all this any further for today." I suggested clasping my palms together as sweat appeared on my forehead.

" Sure, no problem. But it looks like we made a little progress. Just continue to take baby steps and one day, everything will be normal once again." She smiled, scribbling something on her writing pad.

Progress? What progress? I scurried my eyebrows up in confusion but then her next word hit me about everything becoming normal one day. Was she this dumb? How could she even think like this? My life has became a joke, itself. How could this joke be turned into normal when normal is nothing but mere a word for me?

I stood up and left the therapy room. After entering into my room, I locked my door behind and lie on the bed. I pulled the blanket over my body and with that hide my face too.

I am alone, maybe I would be forever. With my pathetic condition no one will like to be on my side, just like my family. This is my new life were there's nothing but pain.

My pulse throbbed in an uneven pace, when I drown myself into memories of Dhruv.

FLASHBACK

" Dhruv, why do I need this blindfold?" I whined earning a light chuckle from him.

I scoffed when he wrapped the black cloth around my eyes and held my wrist, gently. He guided me to follow his steps to somewhere. Meanwhile I waited impatiently for him to remove the blindfold from my eyes so that I can look that what he had planned for our date.

After ten minutes of walking, he didn't moved and I sensed him, behind me. He slowly removed my blindfold and in true excitement, I cast a glance in front of me and automatically my heart skipped a beat at the sight. He'd made everything special. Hotel room was decorated with fragrant candles and the center, there was a table with two chairs which was decorated with different varieties of food. Whole surrounding was lighted dim and only brightened by the sparks of candlestick. Uh, it was romantically beautiful.

I smiled like a fool and turned to Dhruv who was admiring my face. An instant blush crept up to my cheeks but I fought it by wrapping my arms around his neck and he creased my hairs, affectionately.

" Thank you, this all is really beautiful." I mumbled on his chest.

His chest vibrated and he took my face in between his palm, making an eye contact with me. " But, not more then you."

And here goes my heart doing summersaults. I am really beautiful, aren't I?

I tiptoed to place a feather kiss on his lips but instead he grabbed my waist and pulled me for his usual-making-me-out-of-breath-kiss. I smiled slyly and kissed him back with equal passion till we both ran out of breath and broke apart.

" Let's eat, my lady." He faked a British tone and made me sit on the chair across him.

He served me Italian first, my favourite. Ah, how much he knows about me.

" Vanya, sorry. I can't cook as you know I am horrible in cooking but instead I had ordered all your favorite dishes from best restaurant. Hope you'll enjoy them." He said with a little frown.

I smiled and leaned to crease the frown away from his face by a lingering kiss. " Just keep loving me like this." I added.

" Always." He spoke, offering one of his charming smile which make me forget everything but him.

FLASHBACK ENDS

He promised forever? Then what about now? Why his forever faded into our separation?

But I deserved it, didn't I? After all I was no longer that Vanya whom Dhruv used to love.