1

- No, you're not going to wake her up, screams a female voice.

Eyes still closed, it takes me several seconds before I can put the puzzle pieces back in the right order.

Where am I ?

Whose voice is that I don't recognize?

I force myself to remember and the sudden pain in my abdomen helps my memory to recall.

Last night, I was still with Sohan, trapped in this big warehouse that had become my prison.

I thought I would spend the rest of my life suffering from his blows and touches, yet today I am not in a small cell but in a real bed.

The feeling of floating, the lightness of the mattress, the softness of the sheets, all these emotions that are so innocuous but so unusual for me.

These 6 months have deprived me so much of banal things, far from reality, that even these normalities seem supernatural to me.

After struggling for seconds, my eyelids finally open, immediately blinded by the rays of the sun forcing me to close them.

The sun is high, I don't know how long I slept but it must be several hours.

I try to get up but my stomach immediately twists and I hold back a moan of pain.

- Daemon, you're a kid, repeats this female voice.

- She's been sleeping for 3 days, grumbles this voice that I recognize.

"You Just Left a Monster for an Even Worse"

This sentence resonates in me and I swallow trying to imagine how far he would be able to go.

Are they all the same?

Evil monsters taking pleasure in torturing people?

Can he do worse than Sohan?

I didn't think so, but this simple sentence shows me the true nature of this world. Monsters are everywhere, they are all the same.

But anyway, what am I going to use him for?

I am nobody to him.

Maybe I'll still serve as a relief?

The mere thought of it all starting again makes me nauseous.

No matter how much I struggle not to show my suffering, I know I couldn't bear it, I'm not strong enough.

- Don't start, she's not like him... She looks so pure, so broken.

- They are all the same, there are just some stronger than others. Some able to get up after taking a hit, he said judgmentally, as if he knew me. Playing the broken little girl is easy.

- You are harsh.

- I am realistic, he said simply.

A short silence follows this last sentence and the sound of footsteps gets closer and closer.

- Daemon stop!

- She's been sleeping for 3 days... in my bed, he grumbles.

The door opens suddenly, he advances dangerously from me and I keep my eyes closed, unable to open them but also to make them believe that I am still asleep.

That's when a horrible sound pierces my eardrums and my heart misses a beat.

He just exploded a firecracker right above my head or was I dreaming?

But when an unpleasant buzzing sounded in my ears like a deafening alarm, I realized that I was not in dreamland.

And this kid just did it a second time!

I open my eyes suddenly and straighten up to face him, forgetting my pain for a moment.

- But you're crazy, I exclaim rubbing my eyes, my voice seems so weak because of the idiot who burst a firecracker near my ears.

- More than you can think, he replies before heading for the door.

Present from the beginning, the young woman rushes towards me imploring me with a look not to pay attention.

So I watch him walk quietly towards the exit, not hiding my irritation.

Eyes now wide open... I straighten up slightly to look at the state of my wound.

A white bandage covers my entire lower stomach and I can even see blood spreading below it due to my sudden erection caused by this man.

A demon.

This is something that defines him very well.

The demon pays me no attention and continues to spread his bad mood in the room.

Just before leaving the room, he stops at the doorstep and exclaims to the woman:

- Let me out quickly, I can't bear to see this revolting thing in my room.

The young woman nods while I remain silent, shocked by her unfair remarks.

- And change my sheets, I don't want her smell or traces of her, he said, giving me a contemptuous look before leaving the room.

I look at the door and roll my eyes at such arrogance.

- Don't worry miss, he's always like that, the young woman tries to reassure me.

- You mean that this good mood is daily, I let go ironically.

"You'll see him soon enough," she said with a smirk.

Gently, she helps me up and makes me take a few steps.

I quickly lose my balance and lean on his shoulder so as not to fall.

- Take your time, she whispers to me. It's been 3 days since you moved out of bed, it's normal that you have a little trouble walking.

- 3 days ?

How could time pass so quickly?

- I think you needed some sleep, she said as if reading my thoughts.

We continue to walk in silence, me still leaning on her shoulder, she assisting me.

After a few minutes, no longer supporting this heavy silence and needing answers, I break the silence:

- Excuse me, but what am I doing here? Who are you ?

- I'm Elsa, Mr. Cole's maid.

She pauses, hesitating to tell me more.

- Elsa, tell me why I'm here, I'm almost begging her.

She turns her gaze towards me and I read in her eyes this familiar feeling that I was given to see during these 6 months.

This feeling that I hate for multiple reasons.

Which makes you feel like a victim, a poor girl on whom life has decided to turn its back.

This feeling that causes them to feel sorry for you, to regard you with commiseration.

When the only thing you dream of is to be treated normally, like an ordinary girl.

But you're not a normal girl anymore, that girl disappeared that night...

I hate that look because it reminds me of who I am and what I've been through.

- He chose you.

- Why, I insist seeing that she says no more.

- That my dear, you know that.

- NO, no I don't know, I get angry. In a few seconds my life stopped and I became an object for all these patients.

The anger gradually rises in me and I feel that I would not be able to keep my calm and not break down.

I have too much resentment on me, I can't take it anymore, it's too heavy.

I need to know, my life has become such a mystery to me, sometimes I feel like I'm just the spectator of my life.

Why won't anyone tell me what's really going on?

Why is everyone playing guessing games with me believing I know the answer when, the only explanation I have only leads me to more questions.

I'm tired of not knowing why he did this. Why did they take me away, when the problem was him?

Basically, Sohan didn't tell me anything more than the minimum. I came in with questions and came out with even more questions.

So many evenings wondering what I could have done to deserve this.

Crying became my daily life and I had come to a point where I hated myself for living.

I would have liked to leave with my mother that night.

I would have left for a better world without ever knowing anything about the truth that broke me and this world that killed me mentally.

Elsa opens her mouth in surprise as if I had just told her something surprising and she plants her eyes in mine:

- What did they do to you, she asks with a soft voice, while massaging my back.

His delicacy and his affection calm me slightly and I inhale deeply before blowing:

- Things I don't want to remember.

The surprise can be read on his face and I can even see tears beading the corner of his eyes.

- Oh honey, I'm so sorry. You should never have gone through all this, you're so young.

She pauses and seems lost in thought.

After several seconds of silence, she exclaims:

- Mister Cole has decided to make you his possession. You belong to him, body and soul, and that, until he decides otherwise.

I am overwhelmed hearing these words.

What does that mean ?

Do I still have to let myself be manipulated, used, for a man I don't know?

For a new monster?

For what reasons would he want me as a possession, why me?

Questions swirl around in my head and I feel like it could explode at any moment. I still can't figure out what I've fallen into.

- But why, I ask.

- I can't tell you, but please don't try to try to understand, try to escape, or even stand up to him.

- Why, I repeat tired of all my unanswered questions.

- Because he will kill you, she lets go suddenly.

My blood freezes.

Once again, my life is in the hands of monsters.

Put into play and used as if it didn't matter.

He will kill you, he will kill you, he will kill you... His words repeat like an alarm in my head.

I don't want to, I have so much left to live, to discover, I can't leave.

I decided to hold on, so I would hold on.

I haven't come all this way, been through all these months of pain to give up now.

Deep inside me, very deeply, I hear this voice telling me not to give up, that life has many beautiful things in store for me. To use his traumas as strength and not as weakness.

I know the memories won't fade, that I couldn't take away everything they did to me.

But I also know that reminding myself of them every day will not help me move forward.

I have to move on.

So, I focus on that voice and get up every morning with the hope that one day I will return to a normal life, that this nightmare will be behind me.

This will all be a bad memory, this voice whispers to me.

Maybe it's naive to think that, I might never get this life back, but if I can't even hold on to this hope, what do I have left?

Elsa explains to me that she is going to show me my bedroom and accompanies me to it.

I smile at her when she takes the trouble to support me, noticing the grimace on my face when I put one foot in front of the other.

When I push open the door, the light in the room dazzles me and I have to look back at the parquet floor while I let my eyes get used to the bright light.

Everything is white.

The walls, the sheets, the wardrobe, the curtains, even the carpet is white.

Only the parquet floor and the wooden bed are opposed to this dominant color.

- Wow everything is so...

- White ? She finishes my sentence with a laugh.

I smile at her and she shows me the clothes stored in the closet.

- I didn't know what size you were so I put several on you.

I smile at him tenderly at this attention and open my eyes wide when I see all the clothes hanging on the hangers.

She laughs at my reaction and I continue my observation, my mouth in the shape of an [o].

There is everything, evening clothes, beautiful dresses, like jeans or big sweaters.

When Sohan was my possessor, I kept bringing back the outfit I had on the day of my kidnapping.

Or else, when he was in a playful mood, he bought me very short, very tight dresses. Sexy underwear and a whole bunch of other clothes like that...

And he left me undressed in front of him, touching himself while looking at me, while I held myself back from throwing up.

I didn't recognize myself, the silhouette reflected in the mirror wasn't me, it wasn't the real Kali.

I tried so many times to escape this hell, to stand up to it.

But that only fueled his anger even more.

He didn't care about me, for him I was just another girl.

He liked this power he had over me, he liked to control me. He liked to torture me until I begged him to stop.

In fact, he liked that I was his possession, his and no one else's.

- You are strong Kali, I'm sure you'll overcome all that.

Elsa's voice brings me back to reality and I suddenly realize that my thoughts were once again turned to this unpleasant memory.

As if, now, my life no longer had any meaning.

That she only revolved around that. Owners, violence, blood, death...

A tear escapes without my being able to hold it back and Elsa stretches her arm towards my face.

In reflex, I pull back and see her frown seeing the fear in my eyes.

Slowly, I breathe and reassure myself by repeating to myself that it's not him, that it's not them.

She smiled at me tenderly and wiped away my tear with her fingertips, delicately, and I savored this warm, almost maternal contact.

Elsa could be my mother, her smile is warming, her eyes comfort me, her heart is good, I don't understand what she is doing here.

- I'll let you settle in, the others are waiting for you downstairs to explain your role for the future, she exclaims after a moment, heading for the door.

Others ? My role ?

I watch her body and her warmth recede from me, but before leaving the room, she turns around:

- You know, I can't tell you why he chose you, but I can tell you that you have nothing to fear, Mr. Cole is not a monster... Compared to what he can show or persuade.

I strongly doubt this last sentence but do not prefer to raise, certain that it will only bring me trouble.