possession

December 3, a cursed date.

I believe that this night will remain forever etched in my memory, the night when my life changed, that it stopped...

It's been 6 months since I'm just an empty shell reliving the scene again and again, tirelessly trapped in this past that was mine.

Everything happened so fast, overnight, I found myself like a slave in their eyes.

I was their possession, the object that would relieve these unhealthy pigs.

All their horrors, their violent acts, their rapes, I could still feel them. They were anchored in me. And the worst part is that they took pleasure in killing me slowly.

And all because of him.

Because of him, my life has become a real nightmare.

6 months since this tragedy happened,

6 months that I hate myself a little more every day.

I was this girl always smiling, filled with joie de vivre, naive of this cruel world. This carefree girl who made the people she loved proud and happy.

I loved the person I was.

And now, hatred, resentment, suffering, these are the only emotions present in what remains of my person. I became this girl who only cries, blaming the whole world.

I could never have imagined all that this world hid, all the horrors it stifled. The truth is, who could have predicted it?

This world existed, I just closed my eyes, I was only a spectator.

And today, it's been 6 months that I am the actress.

6 months to wait for his return.

6 months of repeatedly having their dirty hands on my body.

6 months to take their increasingly violent blows.

6 months wondering what I had done wrong to get here.

6 months hoping he would come get me.

6 months of pure illusion.

I still wonder how I could not see anything.

How this man who shared my daily life was, in fact, the opposite of what I thought.

But who could have predicted it, I loved him, I trusted him...

It only took one person for all my projects, my future, to go up in smoke.

A person to quench my emotions.

A person for whom I would have given everything.

He broke me, gutted me, destroyed me, I could never forgive him.

Yet I tried to understand why he had done that, deep inside me, I wanted so much to forgive him, forget everything and start over.

But the more the days pass, the more I tell myself that he doesn't deserve my forgiveness, that he doesn't deserve me.

I idealized him and offered him my heart, not knowing that he was only a monster and that he would trample him before my eyes.

And now, I can only blame myself, I had to be careful who I trusted.

This is what I have been repeating to myself for 6 months to try to move forward.

But honestly, I don't know how I can still hold on.

Maybe it's because I constantly hear that voice telling me to hang in there and keep smiling.

I know that little voice will one day die out, so I try to listen to it while it's still there.

I don't know why, but I do.

My mother always told me: "In life, everything that matters is worth fighting for."

So I would fight.

Curled up in this tiny cell that serves as my bedroom, a tear escapes when I think back to the life I once had.

To this life that I liked so much.

I have such resentment deep inside me that it eats me from the inside.

Hearing his footsteps, I stand up in a hurry not wanting to inflict a blow on myself that I could have avoided.

Sometimes I wonder if the problem is not me?

Deep down, maybe, I only have what I deserve?

Sohan abruptly opens the door and when I see his closed face and hard features, I know something is wrong.

Usually he would have his fucking evil smile on his face and lick his lips, undressing me with his eyes.

Disgusting, disgusting, welcome to my life.

Sohan has been my possessor for 6 months, he is the main character of my nightmares, the monster who broke me by kidnapping me that night.

However, it is not because of Sohan that I am here today but because of him.

- Move, he growls, grabbing my arm firmly.

- What's going on, I dare to ask in a feverish voice.

- Did I ask you to open it? he attacks me, forcing me to follow him through the corridors.

My body drags on the ground like a common mop, I don't have the strength to walk.

The bruises from yesterday, when he hit me repeatedly because I looked him in the eye, are now visible on my skin and hurt like hell.

I don't even want to see my reflection in the mirror, I must be horrible.

I can't sleep, my hunger is cut as soon as I remember his hands on me, my body is damaged, tired, lifeless.

I can easily imagine the dark circles hollowing out my face and my pale complexion making me look like a corpse.

Even my hair is in a pitiful state, it's usually so shiny and soft.

They are now dry, tangled and falling out at breakneck speed, I didn't even know I had that much hair.

In the corridors, deafening alarms ring out, projecting a continuous red light.

What is going on ?

Why does everyone look so panicked?

About twenty men armed up to their necks rush towards us and I cringe.

Sohan tightens his grip on me and I shiver as the memories hit me.

His hands wandering over my body, his mouth along my collarbone, his body pressed against mine causing me to gag.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath praying for the images to disappear.

- Chief, the men are heading south.

- Blocked all the exits, we are going to surround them, he orders his men. Those sons of bitches won't get it, he whispers under his breath.

Who are they ?

What are they looking for?

We continue walking at a brisk pace, the atmosphere is tense, everyone seems on edge.

The cleaning ladies scream in fear and go around in circles, not knowing where to take refuge.

Men come out of all the exits, so many, I could never have imagined that the organization had so many men.

All faces are closed, everyone is in their place, it's as if they had been preparing for this assault for months.

A few seconds later, Sohan presses on one of the stones of a wall and a huge room opens up in front of us.

A small cry of surprise comes out of my mouth when I discover this room which I did not know existed.

The room is gigantic and has hundreds of computers broadcasting images from surveillance cameras.

On the right, a huge stockpile of weapons occupies the space while men take turns looking for one.

Sohan pushes me inside and the secret door closes behind us.

He entrusts me to a man much taller than me and I swallow when I meet his unhealthy gaze.

He walks away to discuss with his men and leaves me in the hands of another monster.

The man doesn't waste a second to rub up against me and I hold back so as not to vomit.

Concentrate Kali, imagine it's your mother's hands hugging you.

Your mother is dead, my conscience reminds me.

Shit conscience

So I concentrate on listening to Sohan talking to one of his men:

- They came for her, the man exclaims, pointing at me with his chin.

- It's him, asks Sohan with a terrible face.

I've never seen him like this.

His hands are sweaty, his gaze cold, his features tense.

He dances on one foot, it almost looks like he's stressed, scared?

No it's not possible, Sohan is a psychopath, one of the biggest mafiosos, who could scare him?

- Daemon found him.

Daemon, his name means something to me.

I concentrate on remembering what he is referring to and my blood freezes when the memories come back to me, sending me back to that night.

Blood, gunmen, my mother's body lying on the ground, the smell of death.

The details of that night are, either so precise that I relive the scene as soon as I close my eyes, or so vague that I sometimes suspect the power of my imagination.

That night, Sohan wasn't alone, Daemon was there too.

I still don't understand why both of them were at my house.

But there was only one winner that night.

Sohan had already planned everything, he was one step ahead of Daemon.

Sometimes I find myself wondering what my life would have been like if I had ended up in Daemon's hands.

Could he have been worse than Sohan?

I doubt it, no one can be more cruel than him.

My thoughts are lost on this character so enigmatic for me and I wonder why everyone here is afraid of him.

Daemon, his name makes the greatest mafiosos tremble, but why?

What is more than the others?

But before I can think about these questions, the sound of an explosion pierces my eardrums and my ears bleed from this twist.

My body is thrown backwards and my vision blurs when my head hits the wall. A piece of the explosion crashes into my stomach and I scream in pain.

It takes me several seconds before I can open my eyes and understand what is happening. Lights flash and electricity flies through the air. Or else it's me who's high.

Hundreds of men are on the ground, affected, injured by this bomb which was not planned.

My body hurts and I can't hold back my tears as the pain in my abdomen pulls me.

The blood is flowing freely around my fine body and I tell myself that maybe it's finally time for me to leave this world. My prayer has been heard, I will finally be able to join my mother and rest in peace.

But it was only a dream because shortly after, a group of soldiers enters through the hole created by the bomb and shoots at everything that moves.

The noise of the machine guns mixes with the noise of the suffering of the victims, it's a real bloodbath.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Sohan protecting himself behind his soldiers, not hesitating to sacrifice them to save his skin.

Little by little, his body gets closer to mine and he tries to analyze the situation. My body is trapped under this piece of debris, I am unable to get up, the blood slowly continues to leave my body.

Protected by his loyal soldiers, he tries for the first time to lift the actor out of my suffering and I cry out, feeling my wound deepen a little more.

It's too heavy, he won't make it.

I'd rather die slowly here than have to follow him and let this nightmare continue.

His gaze inspects the room, what's left of it, he's afraid, his breathing is jerky.

He keeps pulling me and the pain reminds me that I'm alive.

The more seconds pass, the more I feel my body becoming weaker and weaker.

Suddenly, Sohan's movements stop and his eyes widen in horror.

I follow his gaze to see what can make him so vulnerable and my heart skips a beat when I see him.

He's there, in front of me, Daemon Cole staring at us.

His face is covered in ash and his lower lip is scratched.

His eyes then land on me, on my damaged body, my face empty of emotions.

Our eyes are magnetized to each other and the idea of ​​maybe escaping Sohan gives me a slight hope.

Maybe my life will be able to start again, maybe it's finally time for me to resume a normal life?

Sohan takes advantage of this freeze frame to flee and Daemon orders these men to catch up with him and kill him.

Around us, the noise of the fight is less and less noisy and I can see Sohan's men falling one by one.

Quietly, as if a war wasn't taking place right before his eyes, a few centimeters from him, Daemon approaches me, his gaze cold.

His hand, as cold as his gaze, descends along my hip and a shiver runs through my body at the contact.

He tears a piece of his shirt and presses on my wound, stopping the bleeding.

My head is spinning from all that blood and I feel drops beading my forehead.

He investigates the source of the problem and I watch his brow furrow when he notices the weight of the debris.

My eyes focus on his face, the only thing I can do.

To him too, his features are drawn, it must be said that succeeding in finding Sohan's hideout and then breaking into it must not have been an easy task.

- Don't look at me as if I were your guardian angel, he said coldly. You just left a monster for an even worse one, he said before forcefully pulling the debris that took my breath away.

His cruel words are the last sounds echoing in my head before I pass out, unable to bear the pain anymore.