Chapter 5

After finding a cigarette I sat on the step outside the backdoor. I knew his mood changed because I wouldn't give him what he wanted. No matter how much I wanted to have sex with him I wasn't letting it happen.

I wasn't crossing that line. All the feelings were there, everything I left 4 years ago everything I tried to block out as soon as I moved hit me like a train.

I loved him, I was still in love with him, but I couldn't and wouldn't put myself through that not with the chance that he might leave me again.

"You ever going to forgive me for leaving you?". Nudging past me he walked outside.

"Oh, I don't know are you ever going to stop being a jealous prick?".

"Not when it comes to my woman". He growled causing me to laugh. Of course, he was going to say something like that.

"I stopped being your woman the day you walked out on me". Stubbing out my cigarette I got to my feet intending to go to bed but of course he wouldn't let me.

"You'll always be mine Ava you know that baby". I wanted to slap that smug look off his face. Bikers they all thought they could run the world, all thought they could boss us ladies about. He was in for a shock if he thought he was owning me.

"Last time I checked I didn't have a ring on my finger or a stamp on my forehead saying I was yours. Can't own something that doesn't want to be owned".

"See that's where you're wrong you've been mine since you were 15. I finally got you when you were 23 and you can bet your sweet ass, I'll marry you by the time your 30". Winking at me I grit my teeth. He really thought I was going to take him back.

You're considering it though......

"Tell me baby how many guys have had my pussy in the last 4 years?". The cockiness in his voice made me want to punch him but I knew what he was up to, and I was going to play him at his own game.

"Noticed the blond earlier". I cut in folding my arms over my chest. "Always did have a thing for blonds didn't you Blaze". Twirling my hair around my finger I waited for him to answer me. "She's a bit on the young side though but you always did like young pussy".

"Jealous sweetheart?". His jaw was clenched his hands balled into fists.

"Not as jealous as you'll be when you find out how many guys have had your pussy".

The look on his face was priceless but my insides were rattling when I heard the feral sound that ripped from his mouth.

"Night Blaze". Winking at him I headed back inside the grin widening on my face when I heard him destroying the backyard.

Don't fuck with a woman but more importantly don't fuck with a woman who's heart you've already broke.

"Ava"....

Oh god!!

"Get fucking back here". He yelled.

"Shut up". I hissed pushing on his chest. "You wake my baby and so god help your soul".

"The fuck was that. Talking smack like that, talking like a whore".

"Well,". I shrugged. "Maybe I whored myself out, fucked so many guys to get you out of my system". He gripped my arms so tight pushing me up against the wall.

"Fucking stop it". He snapped.

"What. Isn't that what you did? How many girls have you fucked huh. Think you can just walk back into my life, and I'll fall at your feet?"

"What's happened to you?". His voice broke and my heart collapsed. "This isn't you Ava, I know you". He was right this wasn't me and I was doing so well with not becoming the person I used to be. I didn't want to fight but damn it was so hard when he riled me up like that. With my body going limp his grip loosened on me.

"Why can't we go a day without tearing each other's face off? I don't want to fight with you Blaze but dammit you make it so hard".

"Guess not everything changes but we work baby, and you know we do so why aren't you letting me back in?"

"It's been 4 years Blaze; you can't just expect us to go back to the way we were. Things are different and in case you've forgotten there's a little girl in there that's more important than anything else".

"I get that Ava, but you know you belong with me you always have".

"Maybe". I shrugged. "But I have to put Everleigh first and that's what I'm doing. I have to get to bed because I'll be up early tomorrow with our daughter". Slipping past him he grabbed my hand.

"Blaze". I sighed he wasn't making this any easier.

"Do you love me, Ava?".

"Don't do this". I whispered. "Don't ask me that, don't put me in that position".

"Simple question-..." He was cut off with the sound of heavy footsteps. I didn't realise anyone else was still here.

"Will you two shut the fuck up and go to bed". My dad hissed as he disappeared back down the hall the loud slam of his door echoing throughout the clubhouse.

"Night Blaze". Before he could stop me, I was inside the room locking the door behind me.

The next morning when I woke Everleigh wasn't beside me. Jumping up I scrambled out the bedroom and took off down the hall like a mad woman. Coming to a halt at the kitchen door I couldn't believe my eyes.

"Mommy, mommy look". She squealed excitedly.

There she was sitting on his knee decorating pancakes. That wasn't like her she didn't take to new people straight away.

"Pretty baby". Walking further into the kitchen I poured myself a cup of coffee. I didn't get much sleep and I already knew it was going to be a long day.

"Where is everyone?". I yawned rubbing a hand down my face. I had so much to do today and that included getting on a flight back home.

"Uncle Ared". She was off Blazes knee and straight into Jared's arms. "I made pancakes". She grinned.

"How's my favourite girl". Jared kissed her forehead before ruffling her hair.

I didn't know if they had sorted their little episode out or if it was still sensitive. I knew they wouldn't do anything when she was in the room, they knew I'd have their balls if they did.

Leaning against the counter I watched as Jared placed Everleigh back on Blazes knee, but I didn't miss the hand he placed on his shoulder.

"We good brother?".

"We're good. Church is in 10".

And just like that everything was fine.

"Where's papas princess?". My dad grinned as he walked into the kitchen. "Come see what I've got for you". And just like that she was off running into his arms.

"Don't take her far". I yelled but the two of them had already disappeared. "I hate when he does that". Sighing I poured some more coffee into my cup.

"Does what?". Blaze asked.

Eh where did Jared go?

"He always steals her away and then she comes back with a new toy and money shoved in her pocket and I don't mean a quarter I'm talking a couple of hundred bucks. My dad thinks I'm not coping". I had no idea why I was telling him this he was the worse person to tell considering if he thought I was struggling he'd be the first one to help.

"And are you?".

I was struggling with not working but I had savings and I was getting by for now. The lease for my house back home was up in a few months and I had no idea what I was going to do. I didn't want to ask for money that was never in my nature to do so.

"I'm handling it". I lied keeping my eyes to the floor. He could always tell when I was lying.

"No, you're not, come on baby you should know by now you can't lie to me. Much do you need?".

"I don't need anything". I wasn't in debt I didn't owe money I just didn't have any. Childcare was so expensive and working the hours I worked I couldn't manage it. I didn't want someone else bringing up my child, I didn't want to miss any milestones in her life.

"Does your dad know?".

"Know what?". I asked taking a seat at the table.

"That you're broke?".

When he said it out loud it made me sick to my stomach. I had never been in this position in my life, I had never not been settled.

"How did you know?". I whispered suddenly embarrassed.

"I didn't but you just confirmed it. Fuck Ava why didn't you come to me? How long have you been struggling?"

"How could I come to you when I couldn't find you?". I yelled.

"If it's money you need baby-..."

"No". Cutting him off I did my best to hide my face. I was getting emotional. Money had never been an issue but having a child was expensive. They grow so fast; they need new things all the time. I got snowed under and I was struggling to get back on my feet.

"Don't cry baby". He was on his knees in front of me taking my hands in his. "You should have asked the club they would have helped". Wiping at my eyes I turned my head away from him. I couldn't ask anyone, I didn't want to have that hanging over my head.

"I'll be fine". I whispered.

"Yeah you will because I'm going to take care of you and our daughter. You're my woman you don't-..."

"No".

"Fucking yes". He growled causing me to jump. I knew he was angry. Angry at me? Or angry at himself I couldn't tell.

"I've got church don't disappear we have a lot to talk about".