Chapter 4

I didn't go far only a few feet until I was sitting on the swing set my dad and the guys built a few years ago. I had no idea how long I was out there for, but it was peaceful, and I was enjoying my own company. Being back here was like I had never left, a fight happened, and everyone was in there getting shit faced. It was like Deja-vu.

Feeling the warmth of the blanket being draped over my shoulders I cursed myself for not hearing him approach. I was pissed at him and right now I didn't want to talk.

"You mad?".

"Furious".

"Smoke?".

"I just want to be on my own Blaze". That was the truth I just wanted peace and quiet and to be left alone.

"We need to talk about last night and the fact that I have a kid".

"And you want to do that now. You just attacked Jared because you're a jealous asshole and you want to talk about Everleigh really?".

"He had it coming". He growled.

"Why? Because he did what you asked him to do? He looked after me when you couldn't. Fuck he kept your daughter safe, yet the jealousy got the better of you just like old times huh".

"I asked him to look after you not fuck you".

"Is that what you think of me. That I'd jump into bed with one of your brothers. Wow Blaze I thought better of you". Getting to my feet I pushed away his hand when he tried to grab me "Don't, you've said all you need to say, and I'm not going to stand here and argue with you".

"Ava wait-...."

I gave him the benefit of the doubt and stopped. I wanted to hear what he had to say yet nothing came. Shaking my head, I went back inside and headed straight for his old room. He wasn't using it, so I took it when I arrived.

Stripping out of my clothes I grabbed a fresh pair of pjs and headed for the bathroom. Turning on the shower I stared at my reflection in the mirror before getting in. I missed being here I missed my family, but I didn't know how long it was going to take before I turned back into the person I was before I left.

Finishing I wrapped the towel around my body grabbed my pjs and headed back to the room. Jumping slightly, I gripped my towel tighter. There was no reason for him to be in here. Everyone here knew I was using this room and yes it was his but still he shouldn't just barge in.

"You need to get out".

"Last time I checked sweetheart this was still my room". He stood from the bed, his size was intimidating, his build frightened. Blaze had always been big, but his size now was something else.

"Fine then I'll leave".

"Over my dead body you're going out there in just a towel"

"Fine". With my eyes never leaving his I let the towel fall from my body. "Put your tongue back in your mouth Blaze". Pulling on my pjs I went about my business as he still stood staring at me.

"You're beautiful but what you just did is fucking dangerous". He growled but I didn't miss how he was creeping closer.

"How so?". I asked.

"It's taking all my will power not to fuck you on the floor right now. Prancing around in front of me naked with that hot little body of yours".

"You done or is there something you actually want?". I was getting good at hiding my feelings and playing the tough girl when in all honesty my palms were sweating my legs shaking and my insides filled with butterflies.

Smirking at me he brushed his fingers down my cheek. "You turned on baby? Is that little pussy throbbing?".

"What? N-no". I stuttered which only made his smirk turn into a full-on grin. "Fuck you Blaze". Putting some distance between us I climbed into bed pulling the covers up so I could no longer see him.

"To answer your question there will only ever be one thing I want baby and that's you. Night Ava".

Once I heard the door close, I pulled the cover away from my face. Yeah, he was still the same Blaze all right. That damn smirk. My heart was beating so fast and the way he made me feel. I knew there and then I was in trouble.

..

I was back there.

Back in that god awful place.

"Little whores awake"...

"No, no, no"...

The pain, the blood everything was as clear as the day it happened.

"Shut up slut"...

I was screaming, I was punching and kicking.

"Ava, baby it's okay".

"No". I screamed jumping up and frantically looking around the room.

I was safe, I was home.

Running my hands through my hair I glanced at Blaze as he climbed on top of the bed. I hadn't had a nightmare in years.

"Baby you're shaking". Placing his hand on my knee I flinched away.

"Sorry". I whispered.

"How often do they happen?". He asked taking my hand in his and I willing let him.

"I'm okay Blaze". Pulling my hand from his I hugged my knees. I so desperately wanted to go get Everleigh and bring her in here. When they used to happen, I would go into her room and lay by her crib, so I wasn't on my own.

"How often?". He asked again.

"It's doesn't matter it was just a stupid nightmare. I'm going to get some water". Pushing the covers off a scream fell from my lips as he pounced pinning me beneath him.

"Blaze". I hissed but he didn't move nor did his grip loosen on my arms. Sighing I sunk my teeth into my bottom lip.

"First one I've had in years now can you please get off me". I hated that he always got the truth out of me one way or another. I hated how fast my heart was beating or how my lower region was awakening. He was too close, and I needed for him to get off me now.

"God baby I've missed you". Moving the hair from my forehead he brushed his fingers down my cheek and over my lips.

Then I heard it, the faint sound of crying. I knew instantly it was Everleigh. Pushing on his chest I scrambled to my feet.

"Wow darling where's the fire?". He chuckled but I was already out the door him hot in my heels.

"Ava"....

"Everleigh's crying she's probably wondering where I am".

"How do you know it isn't Leighton?".

"It’s Everleigh”. Opening the door quietly I rushed into the room.

"M-mommy".

"M-mommy".

"It's okay baby mommy's here". I whispered pulling her into my lap. "Did you have a nightmare?". With her head against my chest, I brushed my fingers through her hair.

"Mommy who's that?".

"That's mommy's friend Blaze. Do you remember him from yesterday?".

"H-he's scary". With her thumb in her mouth, she was peeking at him from over my shoulder.

"Wanna know who's scarier?". I whispered.

"Mommy". She giggled.

"That's right and who'll always protect you?".

"You mommy".

"I love you Everleigh so much baby".

"Love you mommy". With her hand stuck up in my hair I got to my feet carrying her to the kitchen. Blaze was still stood at the bedroom door dumbfounded.

"You coming I could use your help".

"Eh y-yeah".

Smiling I continued to make my way to the kitchen Blaze following slowly behind. Opening the fridge, I pulled out the milk placing it on the counter.

"Okay baby I need you to get down until I sort your milk".

"No mommy I stay up". Her little legs tightened around my waist her hand getting stuck further up in my hair.

"I'll make it just tell me what to do". Blaze said walking further into the kitchen.

"You're only heating up some milk just grab a pot and put it on heat". Grinning at him I watched as he searched for a pot.

Really? How long had he lived here, and he couldn't find a pot?

"Okay you sit I'll make it". Grabbing the pot from the cupboard next to the fridge I put some milk in and put it on heat. Never once did he take his eyes off me as I made my way around the kitchen. Putting the milk back I grabbed her cup from the drainer.

"How did you do it all on your own?". He asked.

"What do you mean?".

"She's on your hip Ava and you're still managing to whip around the kitchen like she isn't".

Laughing I shrugged my shoulders. I guess I just got used to her being with me all the time. She was a mommy's girl and I loved it.

"Wasn't always so easy but I managed just fine". Testing her milk, I poured it into her cup and put the pot in the sink.

"What about your career?".

"Career break she's more important than my job Blaze".

"I should have been there darling".

"You didn't know so don't worry about it. I have to get her back to bed".

"I sleep with mommy". She yawned. I already knew she'd be sleeping before I got her back to bed.

Switching the light off I made my way back to the room. Pulling the covers back I put her down but couldn't move. Her hand was tangled in my hair.

"A little help". I whispered turning my head to look at him. When she was tired, she always liked to play with her hair most of the time it was my hair.

Finally setting my hair free with Blazes help I tucked her in sitting her cup on the bedside drawer. Even when she was sleeping, she looked like him.

"Do you have a smoke?". I asked. I was wide awake and probably would be awake all night. Exiting the room, we made our way into the bar.

"She's perfect and I've missed 3 years of her life. Fuck I missed her growing in your belly, I missed a lot". Sighing he ran a hand over his face. "Shes fucking scared of me A".

"Shes not the only one". I whispered pulling my bottom lip between my teeth. "You're intimidating and big and stop laughing at me". I huffed hiding my face.

"You're not afraid of me baby you never have been. Fuck you have me wrapped around that little finger of yours".

"Shut up I do not". I muttered the hairs on the back of my neck standing up as he got that little bit closer to me.

"You've had me wrapped around your finger since the day I met you". Feeling his presence behind me a shiver rocked through my body. I could feel his breath against my neck, his smell was intoxicating, and I was in too deep. "Fuck Ava". He whispered his arms grabbing mine "Fucking missed you babe". And then he kissed me, right below my ear lobe.

"B-Blaze". But still I moved my neck to give him better access. This felt right, me in his arms and his lips on my skin. It all felt right but it wasn't, and I couldn't go through with it.

I couldn't fall back into what we had 4 years ago. He always had a way of making me forget and live for the moment now. His hands were flat against my stomach his intentions clear. Feeling the coolness against my skin his hands worked fast in removing my top.

"Blaze I...". What was I going to say again? Palming my breasts, he pinched my nipple between his fingers and squeezed causing my head to fall back against his shoulder a moan slipping past my lips.

"Damn baby when did they get so big?". He growled his hand moving lower until it slipped inside the waist band of my bottoms.

"I-I can't". I stuttered moving my hand on top of his so he couldn't move it. What was I doing? I couldn't let anything happen between us.

"Damn it". He hissed removing his hand and letting me go he stormed his way behind the bar. Picking up my top I watched and listened as he cursed a few times pouring himself a drink.

"Blaze I'm-......"

"Just go to bed Ava it's late and I'm sure you'll be up early with our daughter". He snapped slamming the shot glass on top of the bar.

My eyes fell into slits with the way he said our daughter like she wasn't his. "What the hell is wrong with you. Is it because I won't let you fuck me?". I snapped causing his head to snap up, his eyes glaring through me.

"Watch what you say princess remember-..."

"Or what?". I asked cutting him off. "What's going on with you. I mean all that with Jared before-..."

"Shut the fuck up Ava you don't know what you're talking about. You know nothing just like always now fuck off".

But I didn't move. He always did like to hurt me with words, that was his way of hiding how he felt and for me to stop digging.

"No wonder our daughter thinks you're scary". Shaking my head, I left him too it. I couldn't stand him when he was like this. Blaze could be a mean motherfucker and sometimes he didn't care who he hurt. I wasn't putting myself in the firing line for him to stand and shout at me.