01

U N I V E R S E

When I was a little girl my mom would tell me stories about our universe, she would show me the stars and have me count every star I saw. I use to think that I wanted to be an astronaut till I realized that I’d have to be out in space for many years that would mean leaving my mom behind. I definitely didn’t think that I would be standing in America without my mom but here I am.

« Dr. Ivanov we have a code blue in room 506. »

I sprinted over to the changing tables, my team helped me suit up. I made sure my gloves had no holes, my surgical gown was tightly wrapped around my body.

« Violet Davis, a 25 year old female who has been battling a long battle with cardiovascular disease. » My assistant nurse says as we hurry inside the room.

The women was already under anesthesia, all my tools were set up and ready for me to use. I connected her to a heart-lung bypass machine which will take over the functions of her heart and lungs while I do the surgery.

It took me 14 years to get where I’m at right now, I’ve received many rewards for my skills. I was put in the headlines of every magazine as the best heart surgeon in the country, which meant I got a lot of people from all over the world.

When they brought in the ice chest with the healthy heart, I wondered who’s heart this belonged to.

I always wonder, what happened to the person who’s given their hearts away. What made them sign up to give away such a valuable part of themselves, did they have a say ? Or did their love ones decide it for them ?

I picked up the heart as quickly as I could without harming it. I transferred the heart, it was a beautiful moment with a black cloud over it. We celebrated one saved life but we also mourn the one we lost.

« Who’s heart was it ? » I asked, we were cleaning up our station.

« A 16 year old boy, his life was taken by a drunk driver. » My assistant nurse says.

My own heart tightened at the news, such a young innocent child. We continued to clean up our mess but I couldn’t push away that thought, was this career right for me, do I want to save lives but while doing so using another persons death to our own benefits.

Maybe because I’ve never loved anyone with such a dangerous disease, I’ve never been put in their situation. I’m always the one behind the table, the one doing the exchange between hearts.

I removed the gown and my gloves, I grabbed my chart and made my way outside to the lobby. I had to inform her family she made it through surgery. I immediately recognized her family, her mother and father were hugging and talking to their other daughters.

I cleared my throat making my presence aware, they all turned around to face me.

« Your daughter made it through surgery, the heart transplant went by smoothly. » I told them, they all exhaled the pit up air they were holding in.

« She’s currently in our recovery rooms, you’ll be able to see her once she wakes up. »

« Thank you, Dr. Ivanov. » The mom thanks me while hugging me, I awkwardly placed my arms around her as I gave her head a pat. The dad soon enough joined the hug, I was so uncomfortable.

I’m not a very emotional person, I’ve never been except with my mother.

The day was over and I could finally go home to the only thing I love, my cat, Rybka. I turned off my office lights and grabbed my coat off the hook, I made sure to untie my hair from the ponytail it was in so I could put on my warm beanie. I made sure everything was locked up and I said bye to a few night nurses.

My shoes shuffled through the thick snow, I inhaled a big gulp of the fresh, crisp air. My nose was red and puffy because of the sudden breeze of cool air, I grabbed my car keys and walked further into the parking lot. I tried opening my car door but my keys fell, I bent down to pick them up when I heard someone heavily breathing behind me.

I whipped around, a blonde women was standing in front of me. My heart was beating so hard against my chest that I held it down with my hand.

« Jesus Christ. » I whispered.

« Not quite. » The women says in a thick Irish accent, her accent was beautiful but this whole thing felt sketchy.

My fingers played around with my keys, I looked around us to see a black van parked just inches away from us. I held onto my door handle, my fingers were ice cold and felt like they would fell off any second.

« Can I help you ? » I asked.

« I called you a few months ago, I wanted a spot for my brother. » She tells me.

I remember her, the call was very odd. My assistant nurse said that she basically threatened her for a spot. To my understanding she was completely rude and disrespectful towards my nurses.

« To my understanding you were completely disrespectful. » I said.

« Disrespectful ? Nil, you haven’t seen me disrespect anything yet. » It was like she was yet again threatening me, my eyes zeroed out on her. (Translation : no)

« Is that a threat ? » I demanded.

« It’s a promise. »

I rolled my shoulders, I put my key in the slot opening my door. I was about to get in when she slammed my door shut almost catching my fingers while doing so. That was enough, I pushed her on the chest. She stumbled back just a little bit before catching herself, her eyes had a glimmer of aggravation.

« Listen, Dr. Ivanov I’m not here to make chitchat, I need a doctor, a really good one. I heard your the best in the country. »

« I wouldn’t say I’m the best, I’d just say I’m really good at my job. » I told her.

« My brother has coronary artery, his heart is slowly dying and he needs to see you. » Her voice definitely soften when she started to talk about her brother.

I inhaled and exhaled, my process is long. There’s no way someone with coronary artery could survive the waiting list. I don’t even know how bad it is but I can’t squeeze him in, I have hundreds and hundreds of people with heart problems that also need my help.