05

It was stupid to avoid the beach when it was the only good thing going for this place. At least if I went down there while on the phone to Alastair, it would take the pressure off another one-on-one encounter.

When I’d overcome feeling like a fool, I settled into my descriptions and found myself noticing things I hadn’t before, like the height of the dunes and the beautiful contrast of the ocean’s turquoise highlights against the sand’s golden hues.

From where I sat, a flash of red caught my eye. The lifeguard was climbing down from his chair and heading to the back of the beach. I watched, straining my neck as he disappeared behind a dune.

After pushing myself up, I crept towards the shore to get a better view. Sensing my movement, Alastair questioned where I was going, but I hushed him. I wasn’t sure if the lifeguard had seen me, but I didn’t want to be caught sneaking a peek at where he’d gone.

The other side of the sand dune came into sight, and I spotted a small, cream-coloured hut. With no other obvious exits from the beach, I could only assume the lifeguard had headed inside. Was that where he’d been the day he’d helped me ?

« Big news, » I said to Alastair. « The beach has a beach hut. »

« Ooh. That is big news. I’m excited for you, Rosa. Who knows what other gems your beach might be hiding ? »

I scoffed. « Don’t raise my hopes. I think it belongs to the lifeguard. »

« How about I set you a challenge, » Alastair said. « To keep you occupied. »

« Like what ? » I retreated up the beach in case the lifeguard were to leave the hut and catch me spying.

« I challenge you to go inside that hut one day and have a look around. »

It wasn’t the kind of challenge that appealed to me, but Alastair and I had always been at different ends of the risk-taking spectrum. From the moment we’d met, he’d been trying to inject precarious excitement into my life.

« I don’t know. I don’t want to invade his privacy. »

« Oh, come on, » he said with a laugh. « It’s only a hut. Aren’t you even a little curious ? »

« The guy sits on the beach watching the ocean all day. That hut might be his only sanctuary where he can relax and have time to himself. I’m not going to disrespect that. »

« Rosa, he’s shown no respect for you. He was a dick right from the start. »

I’d told Alastair a toned-down version of the incident, saying I’d lost my balance in a strong current and the lifeguard had helped me out. I hadn’t drowned and there was no need to worry him about it. He might have told my mother, then she’d kick off, and it would all be too much drama.

« To be fair, I was stupid for going in the water when the red flag was up. I understand why he was so angry. »

« I just think a little exploring might liven up your time there. »

« Yes, but I’ll explore the town, » I said, determined not to budge on my stance. « I’m not snooping. I don’t want to make matters worse. Even if he doesn’t have respect for me, I’m still going to show him respect. »

Alastair chuckled. « You’re not in Carringham at the moment, Rosa. You don’t have to keep up the etiquette. »

« Don’t remind me. »

He laughed again, but it wasn’t a cruel laugh, as though he took pleasure from my misfortune. It was genuine, as if I amused him. I smiled to myself. Alastair could be an awful boyfriend at times—barely a boyfriend at all—but a strong connection still bound us together. I clung onto that, knowing it was the only thing that kept me sane sometimes.

After our call ended, I stayed on the beach. Describing everything had given me a newfound appreciation for its beauty, and I suspected that had perhaps been Alastair’s intention. It didn’t make the summer any easier, but it made me realise it could be a lot worse.

As I stared out to sea, a shadow plunged me into the shade, protecting me from the warmth of the midday sun. Looking up, I saw the lifeguard and hurried to my feet.

« Here, » he said, holding out a pair of sunglasses. « You left these the other day. »

« Oh. » I took them from him and turned them around in my hands. « I didn’t realise I’d lost them… »

The boy’s eyebrows shot up in disbelief. « You didn’t realise you lost them ? »

I shrugged, trying to keep my cool and hide my growing embarrassment. He probably knew I’d been avoiding the beach if he’d been hanging onto my sunglasses all this time.

« Well, I have a lot, » I said, deciding to use that as a logical excuse.

« But they’re Ray-Bans. How can you forget about a pair of Ray-Bans ? »

I shrugged. « I have other pairs at home, so I suppose I didn’t notice which ones were missing. »

His eyes trailed down my body. Folding my arms, I shifted on the spot, uncomfortable under his intense gaze.

« I can’t tell if you’re serious or if it’s the British sense of humour, » he said.

Funnily enough, I couldn’t tell if he was being serious, either. Why was he finding it so hard to grasp the concept of me owning multiple pairs of sunglasses ?

« I’m serious. I mean, you’re a lifeguard. You must get through tons of them, right ? »

« Ray-Bans are damn expensive. If I ever owned a pair, I sure as hell wouldn’t let them out of my sight. »

I frowned, not appreciating his attitude towards me again. « I’m sorry for being so careless. »

We glared at one another for a few moments. Despite avoiding the beach, part of me had assumed the lifeguard and I had just got off on the wrong foot due to my stupidity. I’d hoped that once we got chatting, things would improve, and we’d at least be civil, if not friendly. Something about me repulsed him, though, and I couldn’t quite work out what.

« You have a real problem with saying thank you, » he said. « I save your life, I look after your glasses, and yet you don’t give a shit. »

Heat crept to my cheeks. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to thank him for the sunglasses ; the opportunity just hadn’t arisen since he’d instead taken to interrogating me on my collection of eyewear. I desperately wanted to thank him for saving me, but the more time that passed, and the more he insulted me, the harder it became. I started to worry that my gratitude wouldn’t appear genuine, or that he’d throw it back in my face.

« You’ve got me all wrong, » I said.

Before I could launch into a speech about misconceptions and how we’d got off to a bad start, he interrupted me.

« I don’t see what there is to get wrong. You’re here on some extravagant vacation, and you’re so rich that you can afford a huge beach-side house and don’t notice when a pair of expensive sunglasses goes missing. You’re used to getting your own way, which is why you’re so defensive. And you don’t think it’s necessary to thank someone because you take everything for granted. People like you have no concept of reality. »

Each sentence hit me with more force than the last, brutal bullets fired from a gun of judgement. My blood boiled, yet I somehow felt cold. A few of his assumptions might be close to the truth, but he had no right to judge me when I hadn’t made a single judgement of him.