04

It had been part of a campaign for a local politician running for Mayor of London, and Mum was more flustered than usual. This wasn’t just a wealthy client ; this man could end up responsible for our city.

She’d taken me to her favourite designer to have a dress specially made and had ordered a pair of bespoke stilettos from Italy. The outfit probably cost more than our Bentley, but this event was important to Mum, and she wanted it to be perfect.

The fear of messing it up for her followed me around all evening. Alastair accompanied me, but even his calming influence couldn’t soothe my nerves, despite his best efforts. Whenever he noticed me faltering in a conversation, he would seamlessly take over and lead it in a new direction that relieved the pressure on me. He was outstanding in social situations, and I often wished I could be more like him.

Towards the end of the night, the politician gave his speech, and I finally allowed myself to relax, leaning against Alastair’s shoulder as we listened. When everything began to wrap up, my mood lightened, and I had an extra bounce in my step. I’d done it. I’d got through my first real social event. Mum had created an amazing evening, and everything had gone as she’d hoped.

Then I ruined it all.

As I was heading back through the garden, I stumbled in my handmade Italian stilettos and reached out to steady myself. It happened so quickly, and yet the memory of it was engraved in my mind, allowing me to relive the humiliation time after time.

The woman I’d grabbed was the politician’s wife. Her red wine had spilt down the front of her cream satin gown which, according to my mum, did cost more than our Bentley.

After that, I didn’t join my mother at any of her events—only family occasions, where the pressure was off. She never explicitly banned me, but it was an unspoken assumption between us.

« I’ve told you, the colour of that dress didn’t suit her at all, » Alastair said to me down the phone as we reminisced over that fateful night. « She needed the splash of red. You did her a favour, Rosa. »

« I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, but I’m scarred for life. If Mum makes me go to this wedding, I might have to fake sickness. »

I’d been in North Carolina for almost a week, and Mum had been dropping hints about me being invited to the wedding she was planning. It was the reason we were spending the summer in America, and as much as I hated being away from my friends, I hated the idea of a potential social event more.

« You’re going to need to get over this fear at some point, » Alastair told me. « You can’t avoid these things for the rest of your life. »

« It’s not events in general. Just my mum’s. The family name is in the spotlight because she’s organised it, so I feel under pressure to appear exactly how my parents want me to appear. »

« Just be yourself. And relax. It’s not for a while, anyway, is it ? »

« No. » I sighed. « I’ve got all summer to worry about it. »

He chuckled. « You’ll be fine, Rosa. I have full faith in you. »

Silence fell, and I trailed my fingers along the balcony’s edge as I gazed across the ocean. Alastair was on the other side. All that water separating us.

« Are you going to come and see me ? » I asked.

I could already guess the answer, but if I didn’t ask then there’d always be that small glimmer of hope in my mind.

« Mm, not sure. I’ve got so much on at work. Dad’s relying on me. »

His dad had placed a lot of responsibility on his son by giving him a key role in their company. Alastair took his job seriously, and I loved that about him. Like me, he’d grown up privileged and had enough money to get by without ever having to work. He did work, though, and he worked damned hard.

« Is it nice there ? You’ve only sent me one photo of a beach. »

« That’s all there is… A beach and a small town, but I’ve not been there yet. »

« Why not ? You moan you’re so bored all the time, so why haven’t you explored more ? »

He sounded confused, and I didn’t blame him. After avoiding the beach for the last few days, I was desperate for something else to do, but I didn’t want to go to town and be disappointed. I explained this to Alastair, and he laughed, telling me I was daft and that it would be impossible to avoid the beach for the rest of summer.

« I want you to go there now and describe everything to me. »

I screwed my face, even though he couldn’t see me. Not only was I making a conscious effort to stay away from the rude lifeguard, but I was comfy lounging on my balcony and soaking up the afternoon sun.

« Why ? »

« Because if I can’t see it for myself, I at least want to picture it in my head. »

« We could FaceTime so you can see it for yourself rather than having to interpret my descriptions—«

« Oh, play along, Rosa. » He sighed in exasperation. « Get off your lazy arse and paint a pretty picture for me, yeah ? »

Huffing, I hauled myself up from the armchair and headed down the stairs. At the front door, I paused.

« Okay, so I’m standing at my front door… » Perhaps it was a good job this place was sparsely populated ; the fewer people to witness me describing a pathway, the better.

Alastair chuckled. « You sound so uncomfortable. It’s not like I’m asking for phone sex. »

I rolled my eyes. « This would be less awkward if you were. »

A brief silence hung between us. Despite our frequent differences, Alastair and I knew each other inside out, which made it easy to predict his next line.

« So… » he said in a low, husky voice. « What are you wearing, baby ? »

« Piss off, Alastair. If you want it so bad, I’ll happily stand here and describe what shade of green the grass is and what cut of stone they’ve used for the path. »

He laughed. « All right, princess. Walk down to the beach and talk about that instead. »

My thoughts strayed to the lifeguard. Maybe he worked shifts ; he couldn’t sit in that chair all day, every day. It was a job that required intense concentration—despite the lack of people who might drown—so surely it would be necessary to have regular breaks to rest his eyes ?