06

I scowled. « God, you think so little of people ! Maybe because I like him ? Not everything has to be about looks. You’re so superficial— ! »

He held up his hands in surrender. « Okay ! Okay ! I’m sorry. I was only teasing…well, sort of. »

I frowned and looked back down at my lunch, no longer hungry. « It’s just nobody understands what Matt and I have. »

« Ah, is that like what your friend was saying on Saturday ? »

I nodded. « We’re really close. »

« I understand that. » His head tipped to the side in contemplation. « Maybe it’s just that Kat’s never been with a guy she’s felt so naturally comfortable with. »

« She’s not one for relationships, » I said. « And that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with being single if you want to be. »

Kat did once have a very serious boyfriend, and it had been an extremely traumatic break-up for her. Maybe that was part of the reason she wanted me to break up with Matt—not because she was jealous, but because she could see he might end up hurting me and she didn’t want me to go down the same path as her.

« It’s definitely one of those things where if you’ve never experienced it yourself then you can never imagine what it feels like, » Nathan said.

« That’s one of the wisest and most serious things you’ve come out with so far, » I told him with a small smile.

Maybe this was the key. Maybe Nathan was one of those guys who thrived on the chase and sparring. If I just chatted normally and refused to rise to the bait, then we’d be able to have more conversations like this one. I hoped so, anyway, because if he was planning on sticking around then I needed to find some way of tolerating him.

« I can be wise and serious when I want to be. I’m sure I’ll have plenty of chances to demonstrate that over the course of time we’ll spend getting to know one another. »

« I can hardly wait. » I lifted my drink to my lips to take a sip, maintaining eye contact with him.

Nathan looked like he was going to say something else but we were then joined by Kat and Jess, which cut the conversation short.

« Oh ! Hey, » Kat grinned, smoothing her hair and sitting down next to Nathan. I was about to say hello back when I realized her greeting hadn’t been directed at me. Nathan simply smiled politely at her in reply and then introduced himself to Jess.

« How was Tommy ? » I asked Kat.

She kept her eyes on Nathan. « Getting better every day. You know, he does this thing with his tongue where he—«

« I don’t think we really need to know, Kat, » Jess interrupted.

As Kat engaged Nathan in conversation, I caught up with Jess. It was nice to have a normal chat that didn’t result in someone pressuring me to dump my boyfriend. Jess didn’t ask about Matt much unless I brought him up. She knew how touchy the subject could be and she was sensitive enough to avoid it.

« Alex has got some poker night thing this evening, » she said.

« Poker night ? » I frowned in confusion. « I didn’t know Alex played poker. »

« Oh, poker nights are so much more than that, » Nathan interjected. « All boys need a poker night every once in a while. It’s a way to express your masculinity through betting, let off steam, and talk about things that shouldn’t be discussed in public. »

« Things like what ? » Jess asked, looking wary.

Nathan either wasn’t fazed by her discomfort, or was simply too obtuse to notice it. « Well, girls mainly. » He smiled.

« I don’t think Alex really talks about me to his friends, » Jess said, to nobody in particular. « At least not in a bad way, you know, a derogatory way. I don’t think he’s the type. »

« Yeah. I’m sure every poker night is different, » I said, shooting a glare at Nathan to emphasise my point. « Maybe they just want to play poker. »

« There’s nothing wrong with being talked about, Jess, » Kat told her. « I’m sure he’s only got good things to say. »

She looked like she was going to say something else, but then quickly decided against it and snapped her lipstick-stained lips back together again. For someone who spoke their mind more often than appropriate, it was quite the restraint on Kat’s part.

« Hey, Bella, how about a tour ? » Nathan asked, finally realising that the conversation was becoming awkward and needed diverting to a different topic.

« You’ve got a map, haven’t you ? » I replied.

Kat rolled her eyes. « Jess and I will give you a tour, Nathan. It’s no trouble at all. »

I sighed and collected my things, downing the rest of my drink. « Fine. We’ll all go on the tour. »

And Nathan shot me a small smile of victory.

-

As Nathan and Jess walked ahead, talking about science, Kat hung back with me. « Hey, I’m sorry about Saturday, » she apologised. « I didn’t mean what I said. You and Matt have been together nearly a year…obviously he—«

« It’s fine, Kat, » I said, cutting her off before she could say something else that would inevitably hurt me. She had a bad habit of not knowing when to stop talking. Often, whenever she was trying to dig herself out of a hole, she just ended up digging deeper. « Let’s just forget about it, yeah ? »

« So, you’re not upset with me ? » She pouted, giving me her notorious puppy dog eyes.

I smiled, succumbing to it just like I did every time. I couldn’t stay mad at her ; it was too hard.

« We’re good. »

Nathan glanced over his shoulder, catching the end of our conversation. « Have you two kissed and made up ? Because I missed the kiss, so if it’s not too much trouble—«

« Sorry, » Kat interrupted, with a sweet smile. « One kiss only. »

We arrived at the library, which was one of my favourite rooms in the school. It was a tall room with wooden panelled walls and hundreds of shelves. Bookcases lined the room, towering over any students studying in there. They weren’t just school textbooks, but fiction too, and I’d often spend lunchtimes or free periods reading in the library when I had nothing else to do, or when all my friends were busy.

Nathan leant down to whisper to me. « Ever had sex in a library ? »

Warmth flooded my cheeks. « No, » I said through gritted teeth. « You shouldn’t ask me questions like that, Nathan. »

« Sorry, » he said. He turned to Jess. « Ever had sex in a library ? » he asked in the same casual tone of voice.

I rolled my eyes and elbowed him as hard as I could in the ribs. Kat giggled. « These two ? You’re kidding, right ? They have the most boring sex lives ever. »

« Thank you, Kat, » I said under my breath. « Just because we don’t share them with you doesn’t mean they’re boring. »

I wasn’t really sure what constituted as a boring sex life, anyway. Different people had different tastes but that wasn’t to say some were more exciting than others. Unfortunately, Kat didn’t let it drop.

« Go on then, » she challenged. « Where’s the most interesting place— ? »

« Kat, we’re not having this conversation, » I snapped, cutting her off. « It’s private, okay ? »

I didn’t understand why she was pushing the matter. Usually she couldn’t care less about the physical side of my relationship with Matt. In fact, she didn’t really care about any aspect of my relationship with Matt unless it was something she could pick fault with. My only assumption was that she was bringing up the conversation in order to show off her sexual prowess in front of Nathan and divert the attention back to her.

Kat gazed up at Nathan. « So have you ever done it in a library ? »

He chuckled to himself. « Sorry, that’s private. »

I bit back a retort at his obvious mocking of me. Nathan clearly didn’t have any qualms about offending me, but I took that as a compliment in a weird way. Being a relatively quiet individual, many people took me too seriously and didn’t think I was capable of having a laugh. I wasn’t confident enough to make jokes in the classroom, and my friendship circle was small, so needless to say that a lot of people had no idea what my personality was actually like.

« But I’d take a library over an empty English classroom any day… » Nathan trailed off quietly.

And Katrina Townsend actually blushed.

On Tuesday, Matt did something he hadn’t done in a while : he ate lunch with us. It perhaps had something to do with Nathan. In fact, it probably had a lot to do with Nathan. Last night, Matt had text me, asking who Nathan was, how I knew him, was he going to be hanging around a lot et cetera. I gave vague answers before assuring Matt that Nathan was not a threat and that he should trust me. The trust line always worked and Matt backed off after that, proceeding to tell me that he had a right to be jealous when his girlfriend was so beautiful. Nevertheless, he ate lunch with me on the Tuesday. Nathan wasn’t there to begin with. Kat, however, was.

« I cannot believe you told him about Tommy ! » she exclaimed, sitting down next to me.

« Afternoon to you too, Kat, » I said dryly. « And I didn’t. You brought him up while we were eating. »

« Yeah, but not in the context of the English classrooms. »