05

Despite that, though, he was still the one person I could confide in who I knew wouldn’t judge me, and he was the one person who was always guaranteed to make me feel better. Dating had just felt like a natural step. Kat would never understand how hard it would be to give that up, to pretend it had never happened and to move on with my life, without Matt in it. Maybe things weren’t perfect all the time, but no relationship was perfect. This made up for it, though. I couldn’t imagine having this with another person, this easiness of being together. Matt knew all my flaws. I knew all of his. He was always honest with me, but sensitively honest, a skill that Kat was yet to master. To an outsider, like Kat, maybe it did appear that he didn’t treat me that well, but she didn’t see us alone and understand how good he could be.

Over lunch, something else hit me. I’d miss his family. Thinking about splitting up with Matt was something that was on my mind a lot, mainly because Kat kept bringing it up. But it was something that upset me. He was a huge part of my life and I just wished Kat would realise that. She was so obsessed with us breaking up that she refused to accept how I actually felt and how a separation might affect me.

« How are your family, Isobel ? » Matt’s mum asked me.

« They’re fine thanks, » I replied politely, trying to disguise the flavour of the baked beans by embedding them in mash potato for each mouthful. I hated baked beans, but I’d always been too shy to admit that to Matt’s family. And as time went on, it became too late to admit that I hated them, and so I just had to quietly get on with it and hope that my taste buds would develop and eventually accommodate the foul flavour.

As we headed back up to his room after dessert, Matt’s younger sister, Emily, called to me from inside her bedroom

« Izzy ! Help me with this ? » she asked pleadingly, appearing in the doorway.

Matt’s arm wound around my waist. « She doesn’t have time, Em. She’s leaving in an hour. »

« It’s fine, » I told her, shooting Matt a quick, reassuring smile. « It won’t take long. What’s up ? »

I followed her into the bedroom and stood behind her chair while she explained the work to me on her computer.

« We’re supposed to translate these for homework but I left my book at school and I don’t know some of the words—«

« Use a translator ? » Matt suggested impatiently.

« Matt, it won’t take a second, » I assured him, my voice firmer this time.

Ignoring his protests, I began to help her out with the Spanish words that she didn’t know. Matt’s hand slid around my waist again, squeezing slightly to remind me of what I was missing out on by helping his sister. He’d already made a comment about me leaving in an hour, so I knew exactly what he was wanting to do.

Ten minutes later, the work was done. Emily thanked me profusely, while simultaneously glaring at her brother, and then we continued to Matt’s room. He sat down on the bed and immediately switched on the television.

« It’s just quicker than typing all the words into a translator, » I explained, taking a seat next to him.

« I guess, » he murmured, flicking through the channels.

I inched closer and waited for him to put his arm around me. He didn’t. He settled on a channel and then leant backwards, resting against the wall with his hands linked behind his head in a relaxed pose.

« Are you pissed ? » I asked bluntly.

« Why would I be pissed ? » he replied calmly, not taking his eyes from the screen.

I ignored him, refusing to entertain his immature mood-swing ; I certainly wasn’t going to apologise when I hadn’t done anything wrong.

We didn’t spend my last fifty minutes doing what we’d planned, but that was so often the case. Sometimes it was like Matt didn’t care if we made the most of our time together or not. I’d just learnt to accept that. After all, relationships weren’t just about the physical side of things.

At three o’clock, Dad texted me to say he was outside. Matt walked me to the door and we shared a brief hug and a peck on the lips. I waited for a few seconds as we gazed into each other’s eyes.

When it became clear that Matt had no intention of saying anything else, I simply smiled and said bye once more before pulling the door open and heading down the path to meet my dad. I didn’t understand the big deal. Matt said he loved me enough times over text ; didn’t he realise it would mean more if he said it to my face ? I’d never said it to his face, but purely because I didn’t trust him to say it back. And that ate away at me more than Matt probably realised.

« Do you actually have any friends ? You’re always sitting alone. »

I looked up from my lunch and found myself staring into a familiar pair of blue eyes. After my afternoon with Matt yesterday, I’d forgotten all about Nathan and how he was joining the school. Sure enough, here he was, standing right in front of me with that same playful expression on his face.

« Yes, I have friends. » I furrowed my brow and then broke his gaze to concentrate on my food again.

I thought I’d made it obvious that I had no interest in communicating with this boy, and I sincerely hoped that his confident attitude would allow him to make friends easily and therefore he wouldn’t latch onto me.

Irritatingly, though, Nathan sat down at the seat opposite me. My cold attitude obviously wasn’t bothering him in the slightest.

« Well, I don’t, so I’m sitting with you. »

« Great, » I said in a monotone. I sliced off the end of my sausage with my knife, a little harsher than was necessary.

« So, where are your friends ? » he asked, glancing around the cafeteria in a way that was much more exaggerated than necessary. « Oh, let me guess ! They’re…on their way ? Stuck in traffic ? »

I looked up briefly. « You were correct the first time. They’re on their way. Kat is always late to lunch on a Monday because there’s someone in her English class who she always stays behind with. Jess has chemistry on the other side of the school so it takes her a while to walk over. »

Nathan shrugged. « Ah, well. Looks like it’s just you and me for the time being, Bella. We can spend the precious time bonding and getting to know each other. »

« Fantastic, » I mumbled.

« So which one’s your boyfriend ? » Nathan asked lightly, his eyes scanning the cafeteria. « I bet I can guess… »

« Go on, » I said dryly. « Amaze me. »

« Oh, there are so many ways I could do that, » he shot back, his lips curling upwards as his eyes raked over my body, making my hairs stand up on end in discomfort. I couldn’t quite work out if he was doing it in a flirty way or a creepy way, and part of that was because nobody had paid my body so much intense attention before.

I scowled. « Do you mind ? You’re putting me off my lunch. »

Nathan’s eyes turned back to the hall of people, scanning it quickly. « I’ve found him. He’s that one there. »

And then he not-so-subtly pointed at Matt. I didn’t say anything, mainly because I was so shocked that he’d been able to pick out Matt from a room full of people he’d never met before.

« I’m right, aren’t I ? Actually, you don’t have to confirm it. I know I’m right. »

« What gave it away ? » I asked, genuinely curious.

« The way he keeps shooting glares at me, mostly. Obviously he thinks I’m a threat… » Nathan raised an eyebrow at me, obviously waiting to see how I’d react to that.

I snorted. « Yeah because I’m quite obviously smitten with you. »

« Exactly. You’re doing the whole ‘playing hard to get’ move. It’s a classic. And we love it. »

« Get over yourself, Nathan. » I sighed and pinched at the bridge of my nose. « I’ve not got the energy for this. »

He laughed. « Okay, you wanna know how I could tell ? He’s never seen me before. I’m sitting with you. You’re talking to me. And I’m hot. He’s jealous, insecure. He can’t tell you’re giving off cold vibes. From his eyes, you’re happily chatting away to me. Well, perhaps not happily, but chatting all the same. »

« Hmm, » was all I had to say. « Well, if he was that bothered, he’d come over here. »

« Yeah right. I’m twice his size. He wouldn’t dare. There’s one thing I’m confused about though. One little thing that made me doubt my own skilled ability to pick out your boyfriend. »

« I’m intrigued, » I said wryly.

« You’re so much hotter than him, » Nathan said. « What’s that all about ? »

I met his eyes again. I’d been doing a good job of concentrating on my food, hoping he’d get bored and move away, but his latest comment captured my attention again. The reference about me being hot wasn’t said in a flirtatious way ; Nathan had simply stated it, as though it was an undeniable fact. Somehow that felt like more of a genuine compliment than his smarmy flirting.

« Matt’s hot, » I stated, mirroring his factual tone of voice.

Nathan shrugged. « He’s all right, but why would a girl as hot as you, settle for that ? »