Chapter 6 - The worst enemy of all

The briefing was taking longer than expected, and Samantha was champing at the bit. She kept counting the minutes when he would finally let them all go to enjoy their extended weekends, but it looked like the CEO kept on purposely delaying the end of his monologue. Samantha might have been paranoid enough to actually consider it, but she decided to shrug it off.

After two weeks, he'd certainly gotten over their secret liaison, he hadn't spoken to her since that day at her place, even when he'd needed to talk about work, he'd sent his personal assistant, which according to Samantha only confirmed the very simple fact that he didn't want anything to do with her anymore, which had her consider whether resigning might be a good idea or not.2

After all, there was indeed a conflict of interest, whether she wanted it or not, be it only because she was having serious troubles remaining in the same room as her employer, and when it came to looking into his eyes? Harder than reaching out for the moon. Heavens forbid she ought to talk to him even! The conflict was there, inevitable to deny it, so maybe it'd be better for both if she started seeking another job.2

However, if she had to be totally honest, she didn't want to leave. She liked her job, the company was great, she didn't have friends in the office, but she liked working there, when she'd told Lucas she was attached to Grant Enterprises, he'd taken it as scoffing, but she hadn't lied, she was indeed fond of the company, leaving it would be sad.

Then again, if there was one thing Samantha was good at, it was leaving things behind. Grant Enterprises might just be one more in the number. The sole happy one. The real question however was, would she be able to leave behind its CEO, too?1

Samantha kept her eyes focused on her notes other than on the person speaking at the head of the table, she didn't want to lose focus, less than less did she want to distract him. Little did she know that his eyes kept travelling to her almost unconsciously, so often that he wound up having to conceal it behind alternatively glancing at each of his employees.

"Alright, it's over for today. Have a nice Halloween and weekend. See you all on Monday", when the CEO finally concluded with that, Samantha was barely able to repress a sigh of relief. She leaped to her feet and gathered her things at the speed of light, anxious to get out before any incident detained her, and she might have made it to the door, hadn't that voice come to stop her ... "Ms. Benedetti, may I have a word, please?"1

Women stole envious glances at her, murmuring amongst them: there, as they suspected, she was screwing the boss, of course, otherwise why would he keep staring at her like that? why would they always be seen leaving the office together? so lucky that haughty Italian was! But what did she have that would attract him?

She was only a mediocre beauty, nothing more than a decent décolleté and pretty eyes, was that enough? Wasn't he dating Laurel Herrera? From the stars to the stables, literally, some scoffed. The angriest of those envious gossipers was naturally Amanda, the CEO's personal assistant. She'd been working to catch the golden bachelor since so long, and now this freaking Italian came and stole him right under her nose ... ugh, the nerve!3

Nevertheless, despite their venomous looks and comments, whispered enough not to be heard yet perceived, they all got out, leaving the two completely alone.

Samantha was well aware of her colleagues' looks, therefore she felt warier as she walked back into the conference room, mildly holding her folders to her chest, eyes on her booties. Did he really need to call her out like that in front of everyone? Couldn't he just wait for them to be alone? What the heck was he thinking? People in there already rumored about something going on between the boss and the Italian girl, could he not be more careful?

Once everybody was gone, and the last employee had closed the door behind him, Lucas finally dared step closer to her. "Hello, Samantha", he started, hands stuffed in his pockets, feeling nervous, stupid and awkward at the same time. He'd remained far from her throughout those two weeks only in order to give her some time, now it was enough, wasn't it?1

They needed to talk, define what they had, whether it was over or it could continue, and if it did, in what way? Because sure as hell Lucas could not settle for another friends with benefits sort of thing. No, he needed more, much more ... two weeks without being able to touch her had been infernal, he was out of himself, it was a miracle he'd resisted enough not to make a scene in front of everybody.

He was in love, Lucas had to admit to himself. He was foolishly in love with Samantha Benedetti, even only one minute without her was torture. It was luck that he'd had to travel, that way he could manage to think of something different, even only for a few moments, but at the same time, being all alone at night in a hotel bed, Lucas had had all the time to think it through.2

Maybe it was true, Samantha was complicated, she would be quite tough to deal with, even only those small arguments had proven him right, especially the last one. The way she'd run off once again, the way she'd turned so pale at his words, her nervousness ... he wasn't stupid, pondering over it again and again and again, he'd considered every single bit of her reactions, and he'd realized one thing: she was often anxious.

The closer he tried to get, the more anxious she became, and it often showed on the outside, with panicked reactions that she might have been great at hiding, but that didn't escape to his attentive eye. 1

The last scene they'd lived together, particularly, was stuck in Lucas' mind, he'd played it over and over again in his mind, trying to understand, and he'd realized that Samantha was weaker than she liked to let know, she had issues, and she feared his emotional closeness. That was the result of his pondering.

Samantha was a challenge, no common man could undertake the harsh mission of remaining close to her, but Lucas felt ashamed of himself for having considered giving up. Even if not sentimental, a bond was needed. She needed someone that would try and understand her, sustain her, support her. 2

And Lucas wanted to be that someone. He might have doubted before, but he was sure now. Samantha was to play a huge role in his life, it only depended on her in which way, the sole thing Lucas was sure of, was that she would indeed be there, in his life. That could not be argued.1

"H-Hi", Samantha answered, unable to retain her voice from quivering, eyes stuck to the floor, folders tightly against her chest.

"How ... are you?"

"Fine. Thank you."

Silence. Lucas inhaled deeply, trying to recall the words he'd studied for days, every time he wanted to dare approach her, but he never could. "Do you have plans for Halloween?" Nope, that wasn't it. But it was better not to be too direct with this girl.

She blinked her eyes, surprised, then shrugged, without answering.

"You don't celebrate?"

She shook her head. Lucas sighed. Was she so afraid of him? It was like going back to square one, as if they had shared nothing in those months. Patience, his mind chided, patience, rushing could only be counterproductive. He bit his lip, eyeing her. She wore one of her conservative suits, black pants, blue shirt, black jacket, barely one single button left undone, black rimmed glasses on her nose, hair in a conservative low bun, not a single hint of makeup, just the way he liked it.

She was a natural beauty, she didn't need makeup, well, Lucas thought no woman needed makeup, was it for him, he'd ban all those products, but this girl in particular, she didn't need anything more than she already had, in every single piece of her mesmerizing being. Samantha was beautiful inside and out.2

Then again, he might have just been biased ... after all, he loved her, of course he would love every single bit of her. Whatever was the truth, it didn't matter, Samantha managed to cause his heart to race every single time, no matter what. Keeping control throughout the whole length of the briefing had been as hard as ever, especially because he came from two days of not seeing her face, given his recent trip.

In truth, Lucas had to point out to himself, every time he left New York he felt empty. The sole fact that Samantha was far and he couldn't even hear from her had him feel like he was running out of air. He loved her, God, he loved her ... the sole problem was convincing her of that.

"So ... you're not doing anything tomorrow?" Lucas asked, lowering his voice, his heart running rampant. It was a huge hazard, but what choice did he have? She'd been drifting apart so swiftly, Lucas knew that, if he didn't act now, even the tiniest chance would fade, he might have managed to open a crack in those walls she stubbornly kept up, but if he didn't act now, she might fix that crack, close the ajar door, leaving him out, and he could not afford that.

Samantha barely repressed a gulp. What was he asking? Why? She only shook her head in response. She felt vulnerable, she couldn't even find the strength to speak up, years of honing her courage seemed forgotten as she stood in front of the sole man that had been able to sneak through the walls and traps she'd set before her heart. 3

Samantha felt fragile, she'd been forcing her heart to step back from the abyss, but it was such a delicate balance, anything, even only one misplaced glance might send her off track. Paradoxically, this was the fiercest battle she'd ever fought. And she was scared ... because she was losing.

Lucas bit his lip, pondering. "If ... you'd like, I could show you how New York celebrates Halloween, after all this is the first time you're here for it ..."

Samantha gulped, this time audibly, taken off guard, enough for her eyes to dare move from the floor and look up at him, wide in surprise, her mouth slightly parting.

"I mean, there are a few nice events you might like ..." Lucas explained, not really knowing how to put it in a way that would not scare her off. It was daring, asking for a date so early, but what else could he do to remain a little alone with her? She'd broken off, well, he had broken off, with her swift approval, their secret liaison, there was no other reason why he would seek her company. "We'd go as ... friends, of course", he pointed out, thinking that might help her decision.1

Samantha nipped on her bottom lip, her heart racing too fast for her thoughts to have any sense, she kept fighting an internal battle that left her weaker and weaker every day, and she was frightened, because day by day, the chances she might win kept thinning and thinning. Throughout her short life, Samantha had fought many battles, heck, her whole life could be counted as ongoing battle, but this one ... this one was too much even for her. Feelings. The toughest enemy of all.1

She'd been fighting feelings for weeks, if not months, and she was losing, losing, losing. She felt weak, fragile, vulnerable, and she hated it, she hated every single bit of it. She could not afford being vulnerable, she'd fought too hard to slip up now. Feelings ought to be fought. No chance to linger nor hesitate. One single moment of hesitation, and she would be doomed.

"Samantha, I ..."

"No."

"What?" Lucas asked, confused.

She took a couple of steps back, shaking her head. "No, I'm not coming to any event. No, we're not gonna spend any single minute more than due together. No. I am not some doll you can play with, Mr. Grant. You wanted to end our thing, and I agree. It's over now. Every relation between us from now on will be strictly professional. If that does not sit well with you, then I am bound to hand in my termination of contract letter, I could not work in an environment where I don't feel at ease."

Her automated voice felt like a stab right through his ribs, her choice of words only dug deeper through his vital organs. Lucas knew she could be as cold as the thickest glacier, but was her heart that frozen? Was she so locked up in herself not to even see the signs? "Samantha ..." He tried moving closer.1

"I'd rather you call me Ms. Benedetti, please." She stated firmly, moving out of reach.

He clenched his jaw, stuffing the hand that had reached out for her in his pocket. "Fine. Ms. Benedetti, I'll have you know that I have recently revised your contract, and that the ultimate clause states very clearly that your resignation cannot be taken in consideration, therefore you are not allowed to leave your job, unless the CEO, aka me, myself and I, decides to fire you, and, may I tell you, I do not have the slightest intention to do that. Not now, nor any time soon."2

Samantha gasped, truly flabbergasted for the first time. "You ... y-you can't do that ..."

"Oh, I can, Ms. Benedetti, and I have. You're definitely stuck with this arrogant asshole and his company, come to peace with that."

She glared. "This is ... it's not legal!" she raised her voice, her cheeks enflaming.

He shrugged. "Try saying that to my lawyers."

"But I haven't signed anything!"

"When you signed your contract, there was a clause, do you recall it?"

She blinked her eyes, puzzled more than just mad. She raked her mind for some memory, she did read the full contract, she was sure of that, her father had taught her to never sign anything before having read it back and forth. Was her employer lying only to have it his way? She furrowed her brows, giving him a dirty look. "There was no clause."

"You sure?"

"I read the whole paper, there was no clause, I'm perfectly sure."

Lucas didn't even let himself smirk, as mad and hurt as he was. He didn't like the hard way, but it was the sole one that might work as of now. Desperate times ... "If you will follow me to my office, Ms. Benedetti, I can show you the contract, and you'll see I'm right."1

She bit her lip. It was easier here, in the conference room, where the walls were made of glass, and everybody could see them inside, even if not hear them. In his office, with no windows, no cameras, no escape route other than the door, it would be one hell of a lot harder for her nerves to keep steady. She didn't believe he might hurt her, she just knew better than to be sure of anything.

Male beings were prone to violence, and, knowing his body so well, she also knew he was even too fit for her to have any chance at fighting his physical strength. It didn't matter that her treacherous heart suggested that Lucas would never lay a hand on her other than gently, her rational side – usually the winner, now emphasized to its limit in order to keep up the fight – stated that people could not be trusted, especially not men, the sole male being she could ever trust was her own father, and only because he'd proven he was trustworthy.3

"What does it say?" She asked mildly, lowering her gaze to the floor, her hands starting to quiver, anxiety levels starting to raise.

Lucas arched an eyebrow at her sudden change of attitude. Was she afraid of him physically other than just emotionally now? Gosh, the harsh route would have her hate him ... but with a stubborn bull, the sole solution was to take it by the horns. He bit his lip, recalling the clause on her contract. It was nothing big, every employee was bound to it, it wasn't even a real clause, actually. In the end, it was a lie. He could not have revised her contract without her present, any alteration without her consent would have been nullified. It was a job, not slavery.

However, if she didn't dare step into his office to actually take a look at the piece of paper ... Lucas had bluffed a little here, but he hadn't imagined he'd have won. "It said that any termination of contract shall have a reasonable motive". False. That 'clause' was about secrecy: every employee was bound to keep the secret about every single project they worked at or knew of, if one talked about any of them to someone that was not part of Grant Enterprises, they would pay dearly for it. Literally. 1

They could never afford paying the amount of money set for the fee due to breaking the confidentiality agreement, therefore they might wind up in prison. It was done on purpose, in order to deter employees from selling the company's projects to the best bidder.

"Upon revising it, I quite simply eliminated the termination of contract part, that means that you, Ms. Benedetti, are forbidden to hand in any letter of that sort, even if you do, it will not be taken in consideration", Lucas explained, knowing he would be lucky only as long as she didn't request to see her contract for real. He took a step closer, using his strong voice, the one he used when he needed to be a bossy boss, to conclude: "It means that you, Ms. Benedetti, are bound to Grant Enterprises as long as the CEO wants you to stay."1

Samantha was agape. How could he do such thing? Was there any syndicate she could appeal to? Maybe the Italian embassy in New York? No, that would only cause a scandal out of nothing. But she did need an escape route, he could not force her to remain there forever. "You can't do that, you ... you can't force me to work for you."

"I already told you I have."

"But ... it can't be legal. There's gotta be something, I ... I can't work for you if I don't want to!" She did try to control her voice, but it came out strained either way, and her own body signals gave her away as she backed up, until she wound up against the glass door, covered only by blinds.

Lucas felt a sharp sting to his heart, the pang of rejection. As he'd imagined, she was willing to leave the job not to see him, be around him. He took a step closer, wondering how could he fix such mess, but then he noticed the trembling of her hands.

Normally she would tuck them beneath her armpits, but this time she couldn't, because she was holding those folders ... her panicked reaction was on full show, and barely controlled. To him, it was strange, to her, it was the ultimate sign that she should retreat. Before feelings contaminated her any further.2

Because that was the whole issue. Feelings. The worst enemy. Samantha had always been able to control everything of herself, she kept herself on a severely tight leash, she knew by experience that uncontrolled actions only brought to pain, she'd worked so hard to build all those walls around her, in protection, and now ... not only was he bringing them down brick by brick, but he was letting feelings debilitate her, weaken her.

She was only strong as long as she remained cold in the face of life, but with feelings hitting her heart so powerfully, with such force, how could she resist? And if she could, how long would it take? Before she broke down. Letting go of the shattered pieces only a cold and distant attitude that kept everyone out had been able to hold together. How long would it take before the panic seeping through her veins resulted in one of those attacks she hadn't been having since almost one year?2

She was broken, damaged, lifeless. Samantha knew that much, but she kept on surviving, simply because she'd isolated herself from the whole world. And now ... now this man came, out of nowhere, and infected her heart with feelings. She could not afford to bow. She could not afford to fall. She could not and would not wind up like her.1

The folders made a clattering sound as they fell out of her hands, Samantha felt her head heavy, spinning, dizzy, her legs weak, her heartbeats erratic. It happened before she could realize it, and in a moment, it was all dark. She blacked out.