Chapter 7

Jane POV

Of all the ways I thought I’d tell Marie, I’m tied up in knots, unable to untangle myself from the web I’m trapped in. I think telling my best friend makes the issue even more real, which is why I’m freaking the hell out.

“I haven’t been feeling too good for a while. A few weeks maybe; months, even.” I’m going in too deep, telling the whole story when I don’t need to… but I can’t seem to stop my mouth from running off at the speed of light. “And I didn’t know what it was. Or maybe I suspected but I couldn’t quite admit it to myself until last night, when I took a test.”

“A test?” Marie’s eyebrows furrowed together. “What sort of test?”

I suck in a deep breath and prepare myself to just get it all out already. “A pregnancy test.”

Why do I feel like a teenager telling my mother I’ve been bad? I could almost cower in the corner because I’m so worked up. Even though I know the one person who will support me through anything is sitting right in front of me.

“Wow, and the test was positive, I took it?” I nod. “That’s wild. I didn’t think…”

She doesn’t finish her sentence but she doesn’t have to. Why would Marie suspect that her virgin best friend who hasn’t dated anyone decent, ever, suddenly is pregnant at such an awkward time in her life? She knows me better than anyone, how hard I’ve worked for my career, and how successful I want to be as an architect…I’m not saying that I can’t have it all, because maybe I will, but it’s scary nonetheless.

“Who’s the father?”

The dreaded question comes way too quickly. I’ve been going back and forth on whether or not I should be honest so I follow my gut now that the time has come. I find myself shaking my head before I’ve even actively made a decision.

“It’s just some guy at the office I had a little thing with for a while.” Shit, guilt flows through me violently as I let the lie flow from my lips. I can’t admit to it being Alex because I don’t want to put Marie in an awkward position with her friend. Plus, if I’m really honest, I’m more than a little embarrassed by what happened in California. I can’t shy away from that truth. “But it’s not a thing, and he’s already let me know that he doesn’t want to have anything to do with me or the baby. So, this is something I will be doing on my own.”

Marie’s expression stiffens. “Do I need to kick some ass?”

I shake my head before she gets carried away with her rage. She doesn’t need to start a fight with some guy who doesn’t even exist.

“No, it’s fine. Neither of us meant for this to happen; it’s just one of those things.”

I offer her a one-shouldered shrug, trying my best to remain all blasé, but I don’t know if Marie buys it. She can see that I’m nervous as hell and not sure if this is something I can do by myself.

“Well, you know that I will be here for you, right?” Marie insists. “Me and Adam will do whatever we can to help you out. You don’t need some dirtbag guys, you have us.”

She gets up from her seat to hug me, hold me close, and let me know that I’m not on my own. I do feel a little better, even though she lives in a different country. I know she’ll do whatever she can to make sure I’m not by myself.

“Thank you, Marie,” I whispered thickly. The emotion is real and raw, filling up my throat. The tears threaten to come but I hold them back for as long as I can. “I appreciate you…more than you know.”

“I love you, girl. I will always be here for you.”

“Alex, you have been on your phone all night long,” the woman sitting across the table from me moans. Her fingers edge toward mine as she begs for my attention. “We’re supposed to be on a date. When are you going to pay me some attention?”

“I just need to get these emails finished, that’s all,” I reassured her. “My brothers need this shit done sooner rather than later… they’ve been on my ass…”

“Oh, Vicenzo and Elio? Tell me more about them…”

I shoot her a look. When women talk to me about my brothers, their eyes light up. I know it doesn’t matter which one of us they are out on a date with; they just want to be out with the D’Amici billionaires. I don’t usually care but tonight it sucks. It pisses me off and immediately turns me off from the date. I might just go.

“I didn’t come here to talk about my brothers,” I shot back coldly.

“Well, it seems like you didn’t come here to talk to me either, so what’s the point?”

She places the straw between her lips and sucks back some of the cocktails she’s been nursing for the last half an hour with her eyes on me the entire time. I suppose it isn’t her fault that her eyes are too blue and don’t have the green sparkle, I know I shouldn’t be chasing endlessly. It isn’t her fault that she doesn’t give me that wild excitement only one person ever has.

Jane isn’t here; she’s back in England living her own life, just as she has been for the last few months. So why can’t I get her out of my mind? I’m never like this but I just can’t shake her off. I can’t let go of the memory of our one night together, no matter how hard I try.

What is wrong with me? I think angrily as her soft smile infiltrates my brain once more. What the hell did Jane do to make such an impression on me? Needing to forget about her, I shove her out of my mind. I put my cell phone away and concentrated on the beauty sitting across from me. She's Gorgeous, no doubt about it…she’s a famous model after all. But she isn’t making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

Maybe I haven’t given her much of a chance…that might be the issue. I should try.

“Tell me more about yourself, Laura…”

“Lara,” she snaps back angrily. “I’ve told you my name like a million times. Why aren’t you listening to me? It’s starting to annoy Alex.”

“Sorry, I’m listening now.” I hold up my hands to say so. “Please, tell me all about yourself, Lara. I’ve put work to one side now. I want to get to know you.”

“Well, I’m a model as you know.” She smiles, the icy exterior cracking because she has my attention. “And I have just walked in Milan Fashion Week, which was exciting. I got to work with some of the great designers there, who taught me a lot of things…”

Oh God, I can’t stop myself from slipping back into bad habits. Drifting off and not paying any attention as she talks. I’ve mastered the art of making agreeable sounds auto-pilotlot whenever I feel I should, which allows me to drift and daydream.

I’m not supposed to be doing that anymore. I liked engaging properly with Jane and more about her. I thought that might be a positive step for me moving forward. And not because I’m looking for a deep and meaningful love but because I just want to change things up a little. I want a bit more from my romantic interactions.

But now as Lara talks about something she is passionate about, I can’t find the focus I so desperately need. Every single time I try to zoom in on the conversation, my brain flutters away once more. I keep thinking about Jane, even though I don’t want to. Even though I know I shouldn’t…