Chapter 6

Jane POV

Three Months Later…

Oh my God, I can’t believe what I’m looking at. I can’t believe my suspicions are correct. I only took the test really to try and rule out the possibility but here it is… positive.

I’m pregnant, I tell myself as I stare at the thin blue lines confirming as much. It shouldn’t be such a shock, but it is. It stuns me to the core, even though my menstrual cycle hasn’t been right since I got back from California. I’m having a baby…

I sink on my bathroom floor trying my hardest to work out what it means for me. Having a baby with the man I lost my virginity to, a man I had a one-night stand with and haven’t spoken to since is insane. Especially when I’m right at the start of my career.

It’s so hard to get into the architecture game. I don’t want something to pull me out of it before I can create a reputation for myself.

I haven’t got a clue and that’s what’s ing.

“I’m having a baby,” I whisper to myself again. “Oh, my God.”

My heart thunders so hard against my rib cage, that I fear it might break free. It might explode, ending all my problems right here and now. Fuck, what am I going to do? I rake my fingers through my hair as I try to process the news, but it isn’t sinking in…

Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring…

“Marie?” I answer the phone rapidly, needing something to drag me out of this nightmare. My chest is so damn tight that I need my friend to loosen it. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good. I just wanted to let you know that I’m in town tomorrow.”

“You’re going to be here?” Oh, my God, it’s like an angel has been sent from heaven. If anyone knows what to do, it’ll be her. “Thank goodness, I can’t wait to see you.”

“Well, I do have work to do but we'll have lunch… and dinner…”

I try to laugh but the sound comes out too strangled to be believable. Luckily, Marie is not paying too much attention to me because she doesn’t pick up on it. Probably she’s still enthralled with the throes of being a new wife.

“Sounds good. I can’t wait to see you, Marie. I’m looking forward to it already.”

Marie is just about the only person in the world I would trust with this information; she’s the only friend I can rely on with something so heavy and life-changing. It appears that she’s visiting from California right now when I need her the most.

Although… Do I tell her about Alex? I feared he might tell Adam and Marie when they were back from their honeymoon but clearly, he hasn’t said a thing. There’s no way my best friend would be able to keep this all inside if she knew I’d ignored her subtle warnings about the playboy at her wedding.

Urgh, who knows? I’m just grateful that I get to see her tomorrow because I’m not doing well with this on my own. I’m already a mess…

***

“Marie, you look amazing,” I gushed as soon as I lay eyes on her. My heart races faster with excitement for my best friend. “Being married does suit you.”

“Aw, well the Italian sunshine helps,” she giggles as she joins me at the table in Diana’s Diner where we’re having lunch. “You should come and visit more often…enjoy the sun with me. You can’t love being in the grim, gray UK all the time. It’s miserable.”

I roll my eyes. “I don’t know. There are some benefits to being here… although the weather isn’t one of them. The rain today doesn’t help.”

I would love to visit Marie now and spend time in California again, but I can’t… not when there’s even the slightest risk of bumping into Alex.

After running out on him in the early hours of the morning after our passionate night of fun, he’s the last person I would want to see. I can’t imagine anything more embarrassing than that. And that’s before I consider the pregnancy. Knowing that I’m going to have his baby only makes the situation so much more complicated… yeah, I’m better in the grim, gray rain.

“Anyway, tell me all about the honeymoon,” I demand. I don’t want the spotlight to be on me for longer than it needs to be. “The photos you sent were to die for.”

“Oh, it was gorgeous, but honestly the photos I sent are about all we saw of the place. Adam and I couldn’t make it out of the bedroom for very long at all.”

“Yeah, I can imagine. I saw you guys on your wedding day.”

She lets out a low, satisfied sigh. “I didn’t think it would feel this different to be married, but it does. I can’t explain it, but it feels amazing. Being Mrs. Harris is definitely who I’m supposed to be, even though it feels weird saying that aloud.”

There it is…that pang again… this just isn’t happening. If I thought dating was hard before, then doing so as a single mom could be near impossible. I forget about love. Otherwise, this little pang of jealousy is going to become an overwhelming pain I can’t let go of.

The last thing I want to do is start resenting my best friend just because she has something that I don’t. Marie deserves all of this and I wouldn’t ever want to take it from her, ever.

I lean back in my chair and listen to tales of Marie’s adventures with a smile on my face, showing my sadness. I can blame it on the hormones now, can’t I? I mean, a woman doesn’t go through pregnancy without her emotions all over the place. Just because this isn’t how I envisioned pregnancy would come for me, doesn’t make it wrong.

I always thought that I would be sitting in Marie’s chair when I found out that I was having a baby. I would be married and happy. I’d have someone great to rely on and help me through everything but plans don’t always work out…but it’ll be fine.

Uh oh. I press my hand to my chest as I start to realize that I’m gasping for air like I’m sinking underwater. I can't breathe, however hard I try. My secret is creeping up on me, surging through me, threatening to come spilling out at any given moment. I’ve spent all night long trying to work out how to present this information in the best way, but all that is gone now. My brain is blank, not quite sure how to say any of the news.

“Whoa, what’s going on, Jane?” Marie leans across the table and holds my hand. Concern flashes across her face as she cocks her head curiously to one side. “Are you sick? You should have said something. If you’re not doing well, you don’t need to be here right now.”

I shake my head because her words are overwhelming. I don’t want her to go. I can’t be anywhere else in the world but here.

“I have something to tell you,” I just about manage to whisper out. “Something…”

“Whoa, you’re freaking me out, Jane. What the hell is happening?”