Chapert 8: Tears, acceptance, and stuff to be kept

Napatingin kaming dalawa ni Zachary sa bagong kadadating dito sa cafeteria. Malayo pa ang tanghalian kaya ang mga nagmi-miryenda lang naman ang nandito. I definitely know she's new. Hindi makakalampas sa'kin ang magandang gaya niya.

"She's Dr. Leighton. Ang bagong psychologist natin." Nakangising turan ni Zach. "At dahil bago pa lang siya, bakit hindi mo siya ayain dito sa table natin?"

This is why I like Zach so much. Ngumisi na lang ako at hinintay na maghanap ng uupuan si Dr. Leighton. She has many choices to go for. Pero ng kunin ko ang atensyon niya, siya na ang lumapit sa amin.

"Hi. Do you need any help?" She asks formally.

Napailing naman 'tong tukmol na Montelvaro na 'to at itinago ang ngisi. Gago talaga. Ako naman ay in-offer sa kanya ang kamay ko para sa isang handshake. She has this pair of beautiful eyes and it's a pleasure looking back at them.

"I heard you're new and in need of friends. I'm AD, ob-gyne, and this guy is Zach, an ob-gyne too."

A smile curves on her pinkish lips. Tinanggap niya ang kamay ko. "I'm Estrella, psychologist. Nice to meet you."

She's not your average beautiful woman in town and I can bet all of my riches that she knows that too well. I won't be in front of this lovely, confident doctor if she's just normal.

Nakipagkamay din siya kay Zach matapos sa'kin. I barely saw it but I already did. This Montelvaro in front of her doesn't affect her. There's something in her pair of beautiful eyes that say she's immune to someone like him. Wow. Pwede na rin yata akong maging psychologist nito. But then, I'm glad I saw that immediately.

"Are you free tonight?" Tanong ko agad.

There's a hint of amusement in her eyes. "I am." Ngumiti na naman siya. "Are you going to ask me for a date?"

Now the amusement is in Zach's eyes. "Kailangan ko na bang umalis dito? Ayokong maging third wheel."

Estrella giggles. "Well you can be our chaperone."

Zach grins. "Okay. I'm in. But let's make it a double date instead."

Sabay na kaming lumabas na tatlo ng ospital pagkatapos ng trabaho namin. Estrella is still in hunt for what car she would buy so she's riding with me. Si Zach naman ay dadalin ang kanyang latest girlfriend.

"Where are we going?" Tanong niya.

I gave her a wink. "Somewhere red."

~ ~ ~

"So this is a place that's literally red."

Ngumisi ako at inalalayan siya sa pagpunta sa VIP table. "Red Room by our own damn Dylan Montelvaro. The place that's literally red."

Tinawanan niya lang ako at umiling. Nang makarating kami sa VIP table ay nandoon na si Zach kasama ang babaeng sigurado ang hindi niya girlfriend-- making out. I haven't seen Dylan tonight. Tsk. Ang sarap pa naman i-kick out 'tong dalawang 'to.

I cleared my throat. "Mamaya na 'yan."

Zachary stopped and smirk. "Hey guys. This is Shine, my new friend."

Sabay pa yata kaming napailing ni Estrella. At least Zach behaved himself for a couple of hours. It was just drinks and pointless topics until the couple decided to finally get a room.

"So let's get to the point. You're not here to date me at all, Estrella." I flashed my sweet smile.

Estrella chuckles. "I'm no mind reader, AD, but I do read your expressions and movements. You're not okay at all. Tell me, was it a broken heart?"

Bumuntong hininga na lang ako. This is not what I intended to do at all tonight. "Yes."

"Have you talk to anyone about it?" She gave me a serious look.

I shake my head. "No."

Siya naman ngayon ang bumuntong hininga. "I'm not going to date a broken hearted woman, AD." She smiles. "Why not fix your broken pieces first and let's have a proper date."

"That's a deal."

She offers her hand for a shake and I gladly accepts it.

× × × × × × × × × ×

This is bullshit. Fucking bullshit. I kept repeating that on my mind for fucking too long. Bullshit. This is fucking bullshit. Napahilamos na naman ako sa mukha ko.

"Someone's having a bad day."

Nagtaas ako ng tingin at nakita ko si Lynn, Genesis' secretary. "H-Hey."

Napailing siya. Naupo siya sa isang sofa at sinenyas na maupo din ako sa katapat noon. Sinunod ko naman siya. Maybe this is it. I needed someone to talk to.

"May mga papipirmahan lang naman ako. Pero mukhang mas importanteng pag-usapan natin 'yang pagmumura mo."

Am I cussing out loud? "I have some things that's bothering me."

Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay. Guessing she knows I'm not telling all of the facts to her. "Okay. Ano naman 'yang 'some things' mo na nagpapamura sayo?"

"Have you ever fall in love?"

A killer smile creeps on her lips. "Is one of the big boss finally falls in love?"

No. Yes. Fuck no. Ugh shit maybe. This is just a theory but I am no fool to not have an idea about this.

"Silence would mean yes but I could guess you are still confused." Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay. "We don't need a mind reader for that. Duh. Lukot na lukot ang noo mo."

Bumuntong hininga ako. Mukhang meron ng may kailangang makaalam nito.

Hindi rin ito imposible. For the longest time that I've been with her, this is not a surprise. These things happen all the time, don't they? A typical childhood love. Pero bakit ngayon pa? Shit. I know she won't want this and damn I ain't going to tell her anything. Akin lang 'to. Aangkinin ko na lang bago pa iba na ang angkinin ko. Shit.

Lynn asked me about what I saw in AD. Ano nga ba?

For a starter, she's mean. Kailangan ba siya naging mabait sa'kin o sa kahit sinong tao? Magaling siyang doktor. I can't argue with that for a second. She likes to cuss a lot. Lasengga din siya. She uses every single one of us to do what she wants. Kami naman 'tong ini-spoil siya. Fuck. Are we that sucker for her? She's childish at times. Kasing takaw niya yata ang isang sumo wrestler. She's obsessed with women. Sexy, sizzling hot, gorgeous, sweet women; I qoute. Bigla na lang siyang pupunta sa kwarto ko kasi idadahilan niyang madumi ang unit niya. She takes most of my time. She's ruthless towards everyone she doesn't like. She's AD and basically that would sum it up.

Lynn takes a deep breath and taps my shoulder before walking to my door. Nilingon niya ako. "You got it bad, sir. I bid my best good luck to you."

Wala naman na akong magagawa. I certainly can't finish anything right now. Uuwi na lang ako. Kailangan ko din ng tulog at itutulog ko na lang 'to.

Tinawagan ko si Genesis at sinabi sa kanyang siya na muna ang bahala. He said okay so went to my unit as fast as I can.

Pagbukas ko ng pinto ay napahito din ako agad. Fucking hell. "AD."

"F-Francis..."

~ ~ ~

"I-I c-can't keep it anymore! I-I'm not strong! Nasasaktan ako, F-Francis! Didn't I gave my everything to her? Mahal na m-mahal ko naman siya. W-Why? Bakit a-ako pa?!"

Wala akong nagawa kundi ang yakapin siya ng mas mahigpit. Ibinaon niya ang mukha niya sa leeg ko at tuluyang umiyak ng umiyak. I gritted my teeth and I can feel my jaws clenched. She doesn't deserve any of this now.

She pushed me slightly, just to look into my eyes. "F-Francis..."

"AD, everything's going to be alright. I promise." I touch her her cheek and kisses her forehead.

Tumango siya at suminghot-singhot. "Tangina a-ang drama-drama ko pero tangina ang sakit sakit pa din."

She's still sobbing. Sumisinghot-singhot pa nga siya. Alam kong pinagagaan na lang niya ang kalagayan niya ngayon pero alam kong hindi sapat ang magagawa noon sa kanya. I needed to know everything now. Ang alam ko lang ang sinaktan siya ng babaeng iyon. Fuck that bitch. I'll bring her to hell soon.

"Tell me everything."

Muli niya akong tinignan. Namamaga na ang mga mata niya at mapulang-mapula na ang ilong at mga labi niya. "P-Promise me first you won't say putangina."

That's my AD. "Okay. I won't."

"She got pregnant and wants an abortion."

My jaws clenched again.

"O-Of course hindi sa'kin 'yun." Tinawanan niya ang sarili niya. "Putangina naman kasi, 'di ba? All along I thought she's mine and she's faithful but she's not. F-Francis..."

Napapikit ako at huminga ng malalim. This is too much for her. Someone will indeed pay.

AD touches my cheek. "D-Don't be too demonyo with your thoughts. Kabisado kitang putangina kang Montelvaro ka." She tries to smile. "She didn't got an abortion. But she's getting married to him now."

"I want to kill them now."

She laughs hard. Kahit paano ay alam kong hindi pilit iyon. "I know. Ako din. But..." She smile sweetly now. "...I accepted everything just now."

Putangina ito na naman.

I again felt that tug in my chest. I have to find a way to keep this harder within me or else...