Chapter 3: Essential (Socially Distant Teen)

I enter the house and return to my house arrest life. I want to follow Josh everywhere he goes. But how can I do that? When seeing Josh makes me a COVID criminal?

I'm tired of my seasonal allergies. They scare the neighbors when I go for my morning runs. Not all sneezes are COVID-19. Not all coughs are deadly. I suffer from hay fever 2020. I don't feel like I owe the world an explanation.

Of my siblings, I'm the only one old enough to go shopping in every store. My two brothers aren't old enough. Some stores require their buyers to be 15 and older. Mikey and Lucas aren't the proper age. We live in a crazy world, where my brothers must sit at home or wait in a car because certain stores won't allow them to shop there. Leaving them alone sure sounds safe... said no one ever.

I hate wearing a mask when I shop. I know it saves lives. But I still suck at breathing in it. My face cage makes me feel trapped. Maybe Josh is right; maybe we can have our own underground prom. I text my best friend, Catherine Szymanski. Her nickname is Cat.

Cat is a short girl. Her attitude makes up for her height. She is the funniest girl in my world. She has three loves, all things Disney, all things car, and all things rock concert. She is the reason the cool kids noticed me. Social distancing is harder on her than on me.

She's the lead guitarist in a band. They get together and make uplifting quarantine music videos. It's cool they know how to make music videos. Their band is called Steam Dragons.

Me: Cat, how are you?

Cat: I'm okay. What's up?

Me: I saw Josh today.

Cat: Aww, great. How is he?

Me: He's okay. He wants to have a secret prom.

Cat: Perfect, count me in.

Me: Are you sure it's a good idea?

Cat: No one knows anything about this virus. Who knows what's true, Lizzie?

Me: I guess.

Cat: We can't live in fear. Let's have some fun.

Me: Let me think about it and get back to you.

Cat: Lizzie, we live in the country. Like 20 people have it here.

Me: Yeah, I know. Gotta go.

Cat: Bye Lizzie

I get off the phone. I know we live in the country. I know social distancing is silly for people like us. I haven't seen anyone in weeks. My suburb is the only suburb for miles. It sits near the school I walk to every other day.

Is this all there is until I do college in the fall? Is this all my life has become, Zoom meetings, electronic homework apps, and no friends? I'm bored. I feel my inner rebel coming out of me.

I need one normal thing for myself. We can have a small group, maybe 6 to 8 friends. I don't need a big prom. I'm happy to have a small one. One where we dress up and dance in the woods. Hell, we can order a pizza and have sauce all over our prom selfies. It sounds like heaven on earth to me. And to me, prom, kissing Josh, and graduation are essential rites of passage the world could ever bless me with.

When the world turned upside down, so did my life. My parents follow every rule and every new law that's been announced. I've watched Pirates of the Caribbean one too many times. Maybe the rules are more like the pirate code; maybe they are just guidelines and suggestions. I'm not one to interpret the law; I fell asleep during that Zoom Government class. I can no longer sit by and let my parents and every other adult tell me what to do.

I need to take my life back. I head upstairs and get ready for my Zoom meeting. I see all the faces of my friends, the ones I miss with all that I am.

I see Josh. He looks bored out of his mind. Tessa Lancaster is in her pajamas. Simone Green is knitting; her scarf looks five-feet-long. God, we have been doing Zoom calls forever. When this first started, Simone made a bet on how long she could make this scarf. She's going to be in the Guinness Book of World Records for the longest Zoom scarf.

Jeremy Walker is texting his girlfriend, Amy Summers. I can tell they are flirting. I can hear the rings of their phones in the Zoom Meeting.

Mr. Winters bellows on about Grapes of Wrath. Why the hell would he have us read this novel? Perfect choice. Let's scare our students into thinking we are living during an even greater depression. Our assignment is to compare those times to our times. Man, these assignments are total bullshit. I haven't enjoyed anything about school. I go through the motions.

My friend Maria Dawson changed her Zoom username to "connecting." She hasn't attended a Zoom meeting in weeks. She's convinced the school her internet doesn't work. She's brilliant like that.

Danny Stonewall attempted to make a cardboard cutout of himself to attend the Zoom class. He's now flunking. Jared Gibson has videotaped himself interacting in class and now plays the videos of himself back through the Zoom feed. He's a genius. I wish I could get out of class.

I begin texting Josh. I want to hear his phone ding through my tablet.

Me: Josh, let's have a prom.

Josh: Great, where?

Me: Your uncle's?

Josh: Ha-ha, sure. He hates house arrest.

Me: Me too.

Josh: I will talk to him.

Me: Thanks.

Josh: Love you.

Me: Love you more.

I feel like a lucky girl texting Josh. I want the world to be in our favor. He is going to the same college as me in the fall. He wants to be a chemist. He loves science. I wish I were that bold. I always teased him that he would be the next potions master at Hogwarts. Isn't chemistry and potions the same thing? To me, they are.

I turn off the tablet. I'm not even sure what the homework assignment is. I wasn't paying attention. I studied everyone else's boredom on Zoom. God, I hate Zoom calls and video chats.

I find mother sewing more masks together. I'm proud of her for what she does. I'm also sick of it. I'm sick of the fabric all over our table. I'm sick of my mother swearing at the sewing machine. Her selfless act has come with lots of swearing.

My parents are strict and want me to wear a mask whenever I go out. I wear them to stores and school. But when I run, walk, rollerblade, or hike...I take it off. I take it off a mile away from home. My parents think wearing them all the time will save me. I'm tired of breathing in carbon dioxide. I need to feel the fresh air in my lungs. It makes me feel alive. I need to get out of here. I need to see Josh.

"Mom, I'm going out," I say.

"Where?" Mom asks.

"For a walk, I need sunshine," I reply.

"Okay, be back in two hours," mom says.

I give her a thumbs up and head out the door. I put my face bra over my mouth. That's what a mask is; it's a face bra keeping my nose and mouth up. I start walking toward Josh's house. I text him.

Me: I'm coming over. Meet me in the back.

Josh: Are you really?

Me: Yes. I need to see you.

Josh: Rebel.

Me: Whatever.

Josh: Meet me by the stream.

Me: Okay.

Ah yes, the stream, our best memories are there. Josh asked me to be his girlfriend beside that stream. I said yes, of course. We had sex for the first time by that stream. Gosh, I miss having sex.

I pick up my feet. I'm now a mile away from home. I rip off my face cage, and the fresh air hits me. The wind feels amazing. Even the end of the world can't take this moment from me. I see the stream and wait on the bench.

I hear the rustling of leaves. I turn around and see Josh. He's as tall and perfect as I remember. He sits beside me, on the far end of the bench.

"Lizzie, I'm so glad you're here. I texted my uncle. He's cool with us having an underground prom in the small barn in the back," he says.

I look at Josh and see his lips moving. I miss kissing Josh. I can't help myself. I stare at them, I want to taste them, and so I do. I get up from my side of the bench and sit on Josh's lap. I kiss him. I look at him, and he looks surprised.

"Breaking the rules now are we, Lizzie Foster?" He laughs.

"Shut up," I say.

I can't help myself. The world has told me to stay away from everyone I love for my safety. But I can't listen anymore. Perhaps I'm a rebel. But I need Josh right now, more than I've needed anything for a long time. Gosh, he's such a good kisser. Keep it together, Lizzie. I get off Josh.

I stop myself before I want more. That's the thing about Josh; he's too hot for his own good. Once we start, we can't stop. I decide to stop.

"What's wrong, Lizzie Foster?" Josh asks.

"Nothing, I just want to hear what you have to say," I finish.

"Well, my uncle said we could have eight friends max in his barn. And we can't post pictures online. And we can't broadcast our rebel prom to the world," he says.

"Rebel Prom," I repeat.

"Yes, Rebel Prom. Our theme could be Star Wars," he smiles.

"That's too funny. I almost want a Wookie there," I laugh.

"My uncle has Star Wars cut-outs in his basement. We could have a cheesy Star Wars theme," Josh says.

"That's so nerdy. But let's be honest, that's probably the best we will ever get as far as decorations go," I say.

"Yeah, and Storm Troopers are the best at wearing masks during a pandemic," Josh replies.

"The theme could be Star Wars Prom-demic," I laugh.

"That's nerdy, Lizzie Foster," he says.

I smile at Josh. His face has endless possibilities. I lie down on the grass and close my eyes. I hear the stream. The water flows where it wants to. The stream doesn't let the world tell it to flow; it just does. It goes where it wants. And that's how I want to be. I want to be free to choose my own path.

Josh gets off the bench and joins me by the stream. We start making out. Man, I miss Josh in every way. I knew being with him was essential. So, without anyone looking, Josh and I have sex in front of the stream. And damn, it sure felt good.