06

I sat at the dining table surrounded by the very people who practically drain the life from me everyday, I had double the concealer and foundation trying to disguise the abuse which actually worked very well. I gently pick up my fork and stab the small piece of honeydew, I imagine the sweet melon being my dad’s head which made every second much better. I know I shouldn’t imagine those things because he’s my dad but sometimes I wish he was just gone forever so he couldn’t hurt us anymore.

« Are you alright, Preciosa ? » My mom asked, my eyes unglued themselves from my plate and made their way to hers. (Translation : Precious)

« Yes, I’m just tired. » I told her, my frown couldn’t help to not show.

I could feel Bodhi staring at me from the corner of his eye, he knows exactly why I’m acting so closed off right now. My cheek is still stinging from last night and I could still feel his hand against my skin which makes me feel sick to my stomach. I physically I’m here but mentally, I am somewhere so far away that it scares me.

« Please excuse me. » I push off the chair, dropping my fork with the piece of melon still on it.

« Baby. » Bodhi called out to me but I ignored him.

It’s slowly becoming harder to fake being happy, I want to scream, curse, destroy everything yet my brain knows not to do any of those things because my actions come with heavy consequences. I walk down the hallway looking for any open doors, I finally manage to open a door and slammed it shut behind me.

My chest is lifting up and down in a quick pace, my hands squeeze together as I bit down on my tongue trying to dilute sadness with pain.

« Banana shenanigans. » I shout, angrily right before kicking the door. That didn’t settle me, I kick the door again even harder.

Why is everything always on me ? I have to sacrifice my body and my very dignity in order to save my family from being homeless. All these fucked up secrets that come with the last name Cardoso is like having chains on yourself, my dad is a predator and I’m his perfect victim.

« What did my door do to you ? » A voice said from behind me, I spun around with my hand over my chest clearly spooked out.

Kaz is standing up near the set of bars, his body was completely in a bird’s eye view. Sweat dripped down his bare torso, his shirt was clearly tossed on the floor and his shorts hung dangerously low around his v line, his boxers were even showing. I stood there flabbergasted with my mouth hung wide open, he waited for a response but I was far from making out words. This gave me a chance to look around, I spotted the hundreds of workout equipment and punching bags, he had his own personal gym, of course he did.

He chuckles quietly while grabbing his towel from the bars, my eyes watched as he wiped his forehead and slowly made his way to his neck.

I want to lick every drop of his delicious body.

« Can you at least apologize to my door ? » He asked with a smirk pulling at his lip.

That sentence brought me back to reality, I was way to vulnerable a couple seconds ago. I fixed my posture and crossed my arms over each other with my chin held high.

« Sorry, wait not to the door but to you for hitting your door. » I stutter, awkwardly. My face scrunched up from the words that just left my mouth, why did I say that ? Why did I even apologize ? it’s a door for crying out loud.

« I was kidding, it’s just a door. » Kaz laughed, he walks over to one of the lifting chairs where his protein shake was at.

I nod my head before pulling my sleeves over my hands and walking more in to his gym, I ran my fingers over the punching bag. A punching bag has me thinking, maybe if I knew some self defense I could protect myself from my dad.

« Ever punch anything before, darling ? » He asked.

I turn around to look at him, he’s leaned back against the chair with his cup against his lips and his eyes heavily looking me up and down. Shivers crawled up my back when his eyes finally landed on mine.

« No, I never needed to. » I lied straight pass my teeth.

« My son hasn’t taken you to any self defense classes ? » He shakes his head while slipping his boxing gloves off, he kept his eyes on me the entire time.

« No, he hasn’t. » I responded.

« He’s a damn fool sometimes, if you were mine I’d make sure you knew how to fight back. » He mumbles, that made even more butterflies fly around inside my stomach.

I decided to add even more fuel to the fire, something inside of me wanted to see just how much I could tease him before he eventually cracks.

« But I’m not yours, right ? » I said with a hint of innocence to my voice, I’m anything but innocent.

He clears his throat with a soft humming sound coming from his mouth, he changed the subject back to the self defense topic. « A pretty girl like you should know how to defend yourself. » He says, my heart picked up pace when he surprisingly got closer.

He grabbed my hand in his, the comparison between our hands was way different. Mine were small, delicate and his were massive, veiny and rough.

« I don’t think it’s the right time to learn. » I tried brushing off the tight tension.

He didn’t listen but instead proceeded with putting his gloves on my hands, once both of them were strapped in he placed me directly in front of the punching bag. I could feel him right behind me, his huge bulge touched my lower back revealing just how much tension he has with me. He gently grabbed both my arms and position them up a little, he bent my fingers making my hands into fist.

His hand then touched my stomach, he held his hand there causing me to turn my head slightly to the right just to look at him. This was making me nervous and I am never nervous around men, scared ? Yes but never nervous.

« Tighten your stomach for a better punch. » He whispers inside my ear, that made my pussy throb and my legs tried there best to shut but his hand created a barricade between them. « You need to keep your legs apart, darling. »

Holy moly

My legs slowly separated, my breath got caught in the back of my throat as my eyes shifted away from his and back on the bag. My fist slammed hard against the punching bag, a rush of adrenaline shocked through my body. My hair fell right over my shoulder covering the corner of my face from the impact of my punch, his fingers gently brushed my hair back over my shoulder.

« Harder. » He said.

I punch the bag even harder then before, it felt good to release all the pit up aggression.

My hands started to go wild against the punching bag, punching over and over again. Sweat piled up around my forehead, and I could feel his breath against my neck and his rough hands around my hips.

« That’s it, let it all out. » He whispered against my ear.

Hot flashes took over my mind, the idea of his lips against my sweaty neck, his hand entering my leggings soaking his fingers with my lust, his hot breath against my shoulder, my head rolling back on his shoulder, my mouth parted widely just enough for him, him grabbing me by the back of my neck and lifting me off the ground just for him to thrust deep inside of me, my soft whines filling his ears.

« Kaz. » I mumbled under my breath, both my fist had stopped punching the bag and my head slightly turns to the left trying to see his grey eyes once more. You could hear the desperation in my voice, the need for him to take control and show me anything.

Our noises touched, my eyes flutter with excitement and my mouth parted just a little, his face didn’t change it stayed stone cold showing no emotion whatsoever. That’s the thrill of it all, I have no idea what’s going on in that sexy head of his. My eyes traveled down to his lips, his eyes caught on and traveled the same path down to mine.

I’m not going to lie, a part of me what’s revenge on Bodhi after the slap he gave me last night but a bigger part of me really wants to feel his dad’s lip’s against mine.

« Talitha. » The way my name rolls off his tongue sent shivers down my entire body.

« You’re marrying my son. » His voice is raspy and deep. That right there stopped any sexual fantasies, reality smacked me right in the face. « And your dad is my best friend. »

My face changed to a more serious one, my mouth shut close and my eyes looked everywhere else but at his. I backed away while slipping the gloves of my hands in a hurry, all that’s going through my mind right now is that feeling that he might not feel the same way for me.

« You’re right, I’m sorry. » I stutter like a idiot, my sweaty hand rubs my forehead trying to distract myself from the rejection. I tried casually making a dash for the door but he reach his hand out across my stomach, I think my lungs literally stopped creating air.

« It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that we shouldn’t. » I know he’s trying to clear the air but that didn’t make me feel any better.

I nod quietly not even trying to make an effort to use my words, I glared at his hand waiting for him to move it and slowly he did. I spared him one last glance before my legs literally bolted out that door, when I closed the door behind me and tried walking off I bumped into a chest. Bodhi stood over me like a parent catching their teenage daughter sneaking out of the house, I nervously tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

« So that’s where you’ve been. » He says with a dry tone. Here it goes, I don’t get what his deal is with his dad. Bodhi is scared if I talk to much to his dad or even take a glance at his dad, something had to happen between them for there to be no trust at all

« He was just showing me how to punch. » I respond, calmly.

He exhaled deeply before shaking his head like he was snapping out of some trance, his hand traveled up to my sweaty cheek. « I’m sorry, I’m glad he showed you. »

I tossed my head back just a little to get a better view of his eyes that were a lot like his dads, his thumb softly stroked my cheek. Bodhi never talks about the past, he never talks about his dad much or his mom but with the trust issues he has, something is telling me that he has those issues for a reason.

« I’m going out with a couple of friends, I’ll be back later tonight. » He says.

It shouldn’t have made me happy that my fiancé is going with friends who I don’t know but it did, it makes me feel so relief that I don’t have to deal with him tonight.

« Have fun. » I told him.

Rejection has never suited me and I’ve never been one to give up so easily, that’s why tonight I have a goal, that goal is to make Kaz crave me as badly I crave him. I’m tired of staying away because of my fiancé, I want what I want, it’s as simple as that.

I want a real man for once