chapter 4

I finished my work as fast as I could. Just so I can cook lunch for Nate and me. It's still one o'clock in the morning.

"Karyl, do I still have a meeting this morning?" I asked my secretary.

"No more, ma'am." Later, at 3 p.m., you have a meeting with the board members, with Mr. Gibb's polite answer.

"Okay." I replied sparingly, then smiled at her. "By the way, Karyl, if anyone is ever looking for me now, tell them that I just went there until one p.m. for something important. Ok?"

"Yes ma'am."

I left the hospital and went to my house with Nathan, the house that my dad gave me. It's closer to the hospital than Nate's condo unit.

After I arrived, I immediately went to the kitchen, where I prepared the ingredients. Before I started cooking.

After cooking, I got ready. I put on clothes first because I was sweating. And left the house.

Nate's company is also far from here, so it was 12:30 when I reached it.

I immediately went to the floor where Nate's office is. I know this because I have already been there, visiting him since we were not married.

When I got there, there was no one there, maybe because it was still lunch break. So I was nervous that Nate might not be there anymore. Why did it take me so long to cook?

I hesitated to open the door because Nate might not be there, like when I always visited him here. He's a busy person. I can only catch up with him here. Sometimes he has a lunch meeting.

But in the end, I opened it, and I smiled because I caught him looking at the folder he was holding; I guess he was reading it.

"Hi babe. I'm sorry it took me so long, because I was still cooking our lunch." I promised with a smile as I walked towards the couch and placed the food on the center table.

He put the folder down. And looked at me. I approached him and kissed him.

"Come on, let's eat. You'll do your work later." And he was pulled. It gave in and stood up.

"You shouldn't have bothered yourself." He said it without looking at me.

"You should get used to it. Because I come here every day. Whether you like it or until you like it." I said that and wiggled my eyebrows at him. He just shook his head. So I laughed.

"Did you wait for me?" I asked as soon as we sat down.

"No."     He answered frugally.

I was embarrassed. "You still deny it. It's obvious you're waiting for me." I laughed, then put food on his plate.

"Don't assume too much. I just finished my work." He said, "Let me do that; I'm not a child anymore for you to serve me like that." He tugged and took the serving spoon, which he put on his plate. It's good, and it's responding.

"Gosh, you're still embarrassed. I'm your wife, so I'm a baby now." I said with a smile while looking at him, who was also looking at me with a surprised look in his eyes. "Are you thrilled?" I asked mockingly and laughed.

"You're crazy."

That's all he said.

And like I said, I go to Nate's office every day. I also moved into his condo. But sometimes I will visit our house. Even though the schedule is hectic, I try to include cooking lunch.

Yesterday I got rained on because of a sudden downpour. I'm on my way back to the hospital because I'm sick. I hope I will take a taxi and let our driver get my car. When I was waiting for a taxi, it suddenly rained heavily. And that's what I read.

So now I was suffering from a severe headache. And I think I have a fever; my body feels bruised. It's like all my energy was drained. I don't think I can still go to Nate's company.

This morning, I almost couldn't get up because of the pain in my body. But because I didn't want to reveal it to Nate, I got up and did what I used to do.

Nate remains the same. There are times when he is in a mood when he doesn't show his cold side, but not in the way he was sweet to me.

But most of the time he's cold and sometimes mad, especially when he asks for another round, but I just put him to sleep because I'm not like him in that the energy lasts all night.

Sometimes I can feel that he avoids me, especially when I tell him that I love him.

This day is special to me, so even though I feel bad, I still cook. Today is my birthday, and all my co-workers have congratulated me as well as my sister. I have also told Nathan to wait for me because we will eat together. But I didn't say it was my birthday.

When I arrived at his office, I didn't knock because I knew he was used to me coming here.

But when I opened the door, there was no one. My forehead is wrinkled. I went out and saw the babe, who I guess is in her mid-thirties; I guess she is her secretary.

"Excuse me. Where's Nathan?" I tried to make my voice clear because it was hoarse. He must have noticed my voice, but he didn't try to ask.

Sorry, ma'am, because Sir Nathan is not here. It's one of his friends' birthdays, and he came here earlier." He said it politely.

"Ok s-go."    I cleared my throat because I felt like my voice was going to run out.

"Thank you." I mouthed at her. "By the way. Here." I said it softly so that he wouldn't notice that my voice was hoarse. And gave him what I cooked.

"That's for Hope, Nate, because it looks like he doesn't need it anymore. That's up to you." I tug and smile at her.

s    He accepted it and peeked inside.

Oh, ma'am, it's a shame there's so much food, but thank you." She said it happily.

I just smiled and left.

I wanted to cry, but I tried to hold it back because someone might see me.

That feeling that you want to be with him on your birthday but he's not there. I'm used to celebrating my birthday alone, but I was hoping to be with him.

I went straight to the house that my dad gave me. I feel bad. I went straight to the room and didn't even bother to get dressed. I cried my heart out. I don't know, but I just want to cry and cry.

My feelings are getting heavier, probably because Nate chose to be with his friends more than me.

Well, who am I to him? I'm just his unwanted wife, for Pete's sake. I don't even think he knows when my birthday is. Or does he really know? I'm the only one struggling to squeeze myself into him. I'm the only one who loves both of us.

I covered myself in a blanket as tight as I could, just to lessen the coldness I feel right now. And to ease the sadness.