07

“Have you thought about what happens if our parents catch us together this late ?” Ariana asked as they took up their positions on the bed ; her under the covers and him above them.

“No because we won’t get caught. I’m careful.” Jax answered with no doubt in his voice as they laid side by side. “How was school ?” they hadn’t had a chance to talk that day.

“Charlie keeps shooting daggers with his eyes but he still hasn’t said or done anything. Maybe I’m wrong and he’ll drop the whole thing and forget I exist.” Silence hung in the air as she thought about her next question. Did she have a right to ask ? Even if they were friends some things were personal. “I heard you had a date tonight.” She stared up at the ceiling in the dark and hoped she didn’t sound accusing. He didn’t have to tell her everything.

“It’s not big deal.”

“But still, I’d tell you if I had a date. We’re friends and we live together.” She didn’t understand why it bothered her not to know, why the fact if Jax was keeping something to himself in her mind it meant he didn’t trust her. Or why the fact him hanging out with another girl rubbed her the wrong way.

“It wasn’t a big deal.” He said again. “If it was I would’ve told you.”

“Does that mean you’re not going out with her again ?”

“Yeah.”

Ariana was getting annoyed. “Why ?” normally it didn’t take this much to get Jax to talk.

“You’re not going to like the answer so let’s drop it.”

“That’s a cop out if I’ve ever heard one. Fine I won’t say anything if you tell me.” Ariana reasoned while she tried to think of something she wouldn’t like from Jax. They had talked about everything under the sun this last week and gotten as close as friends could, she knew him almost as well as she knew Jolene and Laura.

Jax sighed and propped himself up on his elbow to look down into her eyes. “While I was on that date I couldn’t stop thinking about how I would rather spend time with you.”

“Ok,” Ariana said slowly. “What’s so wrong about that ?”

He smiled softly. “You know the answer to that.”

Her heart started to race at a familiar fast pace. “Jax are you hitting on me again ?” it suddenly became hard to look into those dark blue eyes above her and the fact they were laying close together became apparent. It was ok as long as they were friends because it didn’t mean anything but now if he was thinking about more this was….very, very wrong.

“No,” he laid back down. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” A minute of awkward silence passed. “But what if I was ?”

“Jax…”

“I’m joking relax.” If he tried to sound like he was joking his tone fell flat.

Ariana groaned and sat up. “I don’t believe you.”

Jax joined her in the middle of the bed after turning on the near by lamp. “Or you don’t want to. I think you like me but you’re too chicken to admit it.”

“Chicken ? No I’m mentally sane unlike you.”

“Meaning what ? You do like me but you know it’s wrong to admit it so you don’t ?”

Ariana froze as she realized she had stuck her foot in her mouth when she didn’t deny liking him first. “No.” Words suddenly escaped her, she knew she should tell him to go back downstairs and end this night but deep down she didn’t want him to go. Deep down she wanted to spend as much time with him as he wanted with her.

Jax laid his fingers across her jaw and turned her head so their eyes met. “What do you want me to do ? I could come up with a great lie to convince you I only see you as a friend, one of the guys and we go on like we have all this week or we could stop lying.” With each word he moved a bit closer.

Ariana’s heart had raced so fast that it just stopped now as she stared into his eyes, her body betraying her as she moved closer until their foreheads touched. She inhaled deeply ; he smelled so damn good. “We can’t.”

Jax buried his hand in her long hair. “I don’t care about that, tell me what you want.” He brushed his lips across hers with each word but wouldn’t kiss her without permission.

Ariana had never been this conflicted before. There was always a clear line between right and wrong but right now she didn’t care for the facts, her heart started calling the shots and took no prisoners. This was what a first kiss was supposed to be like, in the arms of someone you wanted with your head a little dizzy with anticipation. She couldn’t pass up the perfect kiss or the chance to have Jax as more then a friend.

Unable to form the right words she closed the last of the space between them and placed her lips over his, instantly he kissed her back. Her hand gripped the front of his shirt as his tongue moved slowly insider her mouth. Every nerve ending pulsated with life and begged for more. Following the unseen force of desire her hand slipped under his shirt and over his smooth chest.

Jax knew they had to stop before it went too far too fast but the feel of her body in his arms, the warmth of her hand across his chest and the sweet taste of her mouth clouded all reasoning. He didn’t know how far it could’ve gone because soon after their kiss he head footsteps in the hall. “Someone is coming.” He whispered along her ear. “Don’t freak out.” He held her against his chest and waited for the person to leave or knock on her door, good thing it was locked. He was thinking over his plan to hide in the closet when the steps continued down the hall. “It’s probably Julie going to the kitchen.”

“That was close.”

He didn’t let her go ; he stared down into her eyes. “Close as in we can never let this happen again or close we have to be more careful ?” his fear was evident in his tone, he didn’t want her to push him away again.

“I liked kissing you but if you keep looking at me like that you’re gonna kill me before we can kiss again. My heart’s about to jump out my chest.” She confessed, a blush of deep red covered her cheeks.

“Looking at you like what ?” he said with a small chuckle.

Suddenly Jolene’s words rung in her head. “Like you’re hungry and I’m dinner. Your eyes are very blue and intense.” After that kiss they shared it seemed foolish to keep dancing around the truth.

“Sorry ?” he didn’t know what to say to that. “It’s not my fault I’m highly attracted to you.”

Her expression changed to serious and confused. “Why ?”

Seeing her doubt and lack of self esteem he leaned forward and kissed her again. “Why not ? You’re beautiful Ariana and I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.” His grip tightened around her frame while his face dropped to the curve of her neck.

She sighed deeply and braced her hands on his shoulders. “Don’t hate me.” She pushed him back. “but you have to go.” She didn’t want him to stop and that was dangerous and reckless. Their parents were right down the hall, their married parents. Slowly Ariana started to freak out as the facts worked their way back to the center of her brain. They were family and family didn’t go around kissing each other. No they didn’t share DNA but right was right and wrong was wrong and this was certainly wrong.

Groaning Jax laid back on the bed. “So that’s what we’re going to do ? Go back like the last fifteen minutes never happened ?”

Ariana felt her temper flare. “Then what’s your bright idea ? I’m being realistic while you’re stuck in some fantasy land induced by hormones. Your dad makes my mom very happy and I don’t want to ruin that, I don’t want to hurt our family by giving into something that might not last.” She couldn’t voice the fact there was a good chance it wouldn’t last, no one stayed together forever.

Jax stayed silent for a long moment. “You’re right we shouldn’t risk the good dynamic our family has going. We just have to move past these feelings but I don’t know how.”

Ariana didn’t know either, this fell under the list of things she didn’t understand or know how to conquer. If it was a math test or science project she’d know the first steps to take. “I hear time helps, the more time passes the better it should get. I don’t want to lose you as a friend.” She knew that sounded selfish but at least it was honest.

Jax sat up and met her eyes. “You won’t.”