The result of Cowardice 1

I once heard these words;

"It was always himself that the coward abandoned first. After this all other betrayals come easily."

I never knew what it meant at first till I saw the look in her eyes that day, the look of betrayal and disappointment... that moment, I realized what it that saying truly meant.

The moment I decided to turn my back on the one person that actually needed my help, I also turned my back on my morals, my conscience, everything I held dear all because of that tiny.... flickering moment of fear.

My name is Hilary and this is the story of how I realized I wasn't someone anyone could ever turn to for help, not even those who really mattered to me.

It felt like the journey would never end till the large gate came in view, wide opened for every vehicle to pass through. I felt my heart hitting faster against my chest as as we passed through familiar surroundings, one I've only managed to see on TV or the internet.

It's finally happening, the moment I've been waiting for, for about a year. I'm finally in the university of Lagos, studying accounting as I had always dreamt of.

"Isn't that the Senate House?" Isaac who had been quite for a while spoke up immediately, his hands pointing towards a building we had just passed through.

I was able to catch of glimpse of the iconic building and might I say, it was very much worth its hype. We passed through more famous buildings, with Isaac still unable to stop pointing out their names despite the fact that I knew them too but I didn't stop him.

I knew he was just excited to finally be away from the bondage of being under his parent's constant watchful gazes and their strict leadership. I know that all too well mainly because I passed through the same thing and we practically grew up together.

Isaac and I weren't related by blood but we've been so close since we were still in primary school. That was when his family moved into the neighborhood, their house was practically right opposite ours.

We became friends instantly, doing everything together, even attending the same schools right till university and now, we are even studying the same course.

Isaac was an only child while I have an elder sister who's married already. Anyway, we were both pampered by our parents since we were the only sons they had but that didn't stop them from being very strict on us.

We never saw anything wrong with how we grew up till we finally tasted a bit of freedom by getting an admission in the university. Though, we still had curfews since we resided in the university's hostels, we stopped feeling suffocated by having watchful gazes hovering around us every single moment.

University life felt like what we had been promised when we were little but we didn't allow it cloud our heads, or distract us from what we were here for.

Issac and I were the best in our studies before university and we still kept up the momentum here even after Isaac decided to finally get a girl for himself.

I didn't see any issue with her when she was introduced to me. Her name was Tracy and I felt she was the perfect girl for him; drop dead gorgeous, caring and the best of all, she excelled in her studies.

The first year of our university life passed by really fast and our results dropped in no time. Our midnight sacrifices didn't go in vain. We aced every single exam we wrote, marking ourselves as the best first year students in the department.

When we were in the second year of university, we decided to live away school's campus since we felt we were old enough to take care of ourselves. After a lot of convincing, both of our parents reluctantly agreed as long as we will live together.

That didn't feel like an issue so we finally moved away, getting an apartment of our own. Now that I think about it, I feel that was the very first wrong decision that led to everything going wrong in our lives.

Being out of the school's environment felt like another form of freedom, we felt like independent men except that we weren't funding our lifestyle but you understand.

We had a neighbor then in that compound, his name was Destiny. He was a student like us but studied a different course, computer science. At first, be seemed cool, always on his own till I found out he was into fraudulent activities, or you can call him a 'yahoo boy'.

He uses the money he gets to fund everything he had; his education, feeding, rents... everything. Now, I didn't care about what he decided to do with his life but there was an issue, he was an hard drug user.

He does all sort of hard drug you can mention and in every form they come in and that includes smoking too. I decided to keep my distance away from him because I didn't want to be influenced by him but Isaac had a different thought.

Coming from a home where everything you do and spend on were always provided to you by someone else, Isaac envied Destiny lifestyle... how he would just get whatever he wanted whenever without having to beg and explain to someone for hours to get it.

He had everything Isaac wished for and that made him let go all the warnings and advises our parents gave us before we left for this school. He decided to become close friends with Destiny.

When I first found out, I asked why. We had a plan, for our short time here in the university, for our future and him being with someone like Destiny was bound to ruin his but he gave an excuse, saying he wanted to learn his ways, to be able to get money himself so he doesn't have to keep begging his parents.

I didn't feel he had any need to since his parents though not very wealthy were able to afford the things he needed but I guess he just wanted more. Ignoring my warnings, he continued his friendship with Destiny.

Seeing I couldn't convince him, I stopped. I felt that he was just with him for the knowledge he had. After that, there was no need to keep being friends but I was way wrong.

Soon, I noticed something had changed wuth Issac. He never read with me anymore, moved with me anymore or even tell me things like he used to. He always spent most of his time with Destiny.

I didn't think it was that big of an issue till Tracy, his girlfriend broke the news I never prayed to recieve, she caught him smoking and taking other hard drugs one time I wasn't home.

I was beyond shocked but to be honest, what was I expecting? Isaac couldn't control his greed so why did I think he would have a bit of self control away from drugs.

I confronted him but he brushed me off quickly, saying he wasn't a kid anymore and he could do whatever he wanted with his life. I tried to talk some sense into him but he was already far too gone.

Soon, his lifestyle spiraled out of control, affecting his academics. From being one of the most promising students in the department, he fell down to the lowest of the lowest and you want to know the worst thing, he didn't seem to care.

He only laughed it off saying;

"When I chop money ehhh... I'll just give it to those lecturers to upgrade my scores for me." Destiny laughed with him too, the cigarettes between their lips puffing out the suffocating smoke.

This mentality wasn't something the Isaac I knew and grew up with would ever have. Even Tracy couldn't take it anymore. Sensing how serious the case was starting to be, we decided to hand it over to someone who could talk some sense to him.

After listening to everything we had to say, Isaac's father was beyond enraged!! Soon, a clear headed Isaac, something we haven't seen in a long time came back home, his eyes red with fury.

"So, you went and open your wide mouths to my father??" He asked, staring at both Tracy and I like we were traitors.

We didn't care how he sees us, as long as we are able to save him from destroying himself.

"Isaac.. you know we care about you and that's why we..."