Chapter Seven

Guk stood beside you, fidgeting slightly. His eyes hardly ever looked straight at you since you asked him to come with you to the hotel's rooftop to talk. It's almost like he was guilty of doing something. You smiled slightly at the shyness emanating from him. You always knew that he had a hard time expressing himself and singing that song a while ago—singing his heart out to you, must have taken a lot of courage.

"Guk." You called and he looked at you, catching your gaze. This time, it was your turn to shy away for his gaze seemed too intense. You bit your lip and fidgeted with your fingers. "Did you write that song?" He glanced at you and nodded.

"It's beautiful." You said honestly.

"It's true." Guk said and the determination in his voice made your heart thump. "I meant what I said. Every word."

"I-I know."

"And?" He pressed as you remained silent, unable to answer. How exactly would you answer an ex who just admitted that he wanted you back?

"Y/N." You looked at him and you felt a warmth shot up your arm as he covered your hand holding the railing in front of you. The two of you were standing by the edge, looking out at the brightly-lit city that resembled a starry sky. His thumb caressed the back of your hand and you felt yourself sigh, his touch comforting and electrifying at the same time. "Say something."

"Guk…" you whispered, willing your tears to remain in your eyes. "What do you want me to say?"

Guk looked away from you and bit his lip, his expression torn. He placed his hand over his eyes, and then pinched the bridge of his nose slightly. After a few seconds you felt him squeeze your hand and the next thing he said almost made you broke down.

"I don't know." He admitted. "I don't know, Y/N. A-all I know is that nothing has ever been right since you left. And the moment you came back, all I wanted was to talk to you. All I wanted was to be with you. I couldn't stop thinking about you and—" he clenched his jaw. "And I wanted to punch hyung for taking you out."

"Guk!" You scolded.

"It's true." He muttered as he rubbed circles on your hand, making you shiver. "I wanted to punch any guy that came close to you, to be honest."

“You’re impossible." You shook your head.

“I think I am. Impossibly in love with you still, that is.”

You tried to hide the way your breath hitched and your heart skipped a beat at his words. "Then why didn't you do anything about it?" You argued. "Why didn't you stop me from leaving before?"

Guk gulped at your words. The past was definitely something he was afraid of confronting but he was determined to explain himself and earn your trust back. So, he stood straighter and answered in all honesty.

"I wanted to." He looked at you. “I wanted to Y/N. It's just that—" He huffed as he covered his eyes in frustration.

"You had to work." You blurted.

"I was in a position where I didn’t have a choice… we had a show to do that night—"

"But you did. You did have a choice." You said as you remembered Hyun’s words. “You get to choose for your own feelings, Guk.”

“I know. And I’m sorry. I’m not making up an excuse for what I did to our relationship, Y/N. I know what I did… I know what I chose and what it costed.”

You looked at the frustration in his expression and wondered if he had chosen differently, would it have been better? Would you still be together? Would Guk still be an idol and would you, yourself, would have pursued a career in the music industry abroad? It was then that you realized that there was nothing wrong with your love, then. It was just simply not the right time for it.

"Hey, it’s okay." You interrupted and his eyes turned wide, not expecting your response. "I don’t blame you for your choices back then. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I knew that I came in between you and your dreams.”

"Y/N…”

"I remember when I told you," You said as you looked out at the view, nostalgia consuming you. "That we're just specks in the galaxy. But we are what's made of the universe." You sighed. "So, we must be important."

"I don't get where you're going." He said honestly and you almost laughed at how clueless he looked.

"I know what you meant the other night. I know what you were trying to say when you brought that up."

"You do?" You nodded and looked at him. "Yes. Because I wouldn't have been who I am today if it weren't for you, too." You said as you turned to face him. "You may be just one person, Guk, but you're what's made every piece of my heart back then. And when you did nothing to stop me...” you looked down. “Well, it destroyed me."

Guk's lips slightly parted, his cheeks turning a shade of pink; from the cold or from guilt? It was hard to tell. He let out a shaky breath, closing his eyes and clenching his fists. "I was a fool." He muttered. "I was stupid to let you go. But," he looked up at you, his eyes almost pleading. "Believe me, Y/N. Believe me when I say that I loved you."

"I never doubted you." You said honestly.

"Then be with me." He pleaded and you gasped inwardly, not expecting him to say it so boldly. "Come back to me, Y/N."

"Then what?" You asked, feeling utterly torn and confused. You knew the feelings were still there, but somehow your head disagreed with your heart as of the moment. "Then what, Guk? We've been there before and look where we are now!”

Guk stepped closer and held your arms, leaning down to your eye level. "But things are different now." He pressed, his voice full of hope. "We can make it work—"

“But that’s the thing. Things are not different and you know it!" You cried, tears springing from your eyes. "Don't you see that?"

Guk's hand slackened on your arms, eventually letting go as the words came out of your mouth. His arms hung limply on his sides and his expression dropped, looking dejected. "I'm sorry. I thought you—" he sighed and took a step back. "I thought you felt the same—"

"But I do." You huffed in frustration and Guk's eyes lit up with hope. "I do feel the same way."

"Then what—"

"I'm scared." You busted out. "I'm scared, okay?!”

“Why?” he looked at you. “What are you afraid of—”

“Because I want it so much it scares me." You sobbed. "I want to be with you, Guk. But when we separated—" you sniffed. “It hurt so much the first time I'm not sure if I can survive a second time. Look at where and what we are now. My work is on the other side of the world and we’re living a life under the public’s eye. You’ll be busy, I’ll be busy. How do you think we could work? I-I—" you hiccupped and Guk's hands cupped your cheeks, wiping the tears with his thumb. You tried to get a hold of yourself as you let his arms encircle you, your face burying in his chest. He closed his eyes and hugged you tighter, his hand rubbing your back.

“Shh… don’t cry please.”

“It’s so unfair.” You whispered against his chest and he sighed, understanding what you meant. You were idols and even busier than before. If things didn’t work out then, how could you make it work now that you had more responsibilities? Now that you practically lived on opposite sides of the world?

“We can’t,” Guk gulped as he leant his chin on your head. “We can’t, can we?”

You shook your head slightly, “A lot of things will try and break us apart.”

“Even more than before.” He said and you nodded. “I hate this.”

“Me too.”

A pregnant silence hung over the two of you as you remained locked in each other’s arms. You snuggled closer to him, thinking how much hugging him felt right. It was like your bodies were made to hold one another; like two pieces in a puzzle that fit perfectly.

“I love you.”

You looked up from his chest, wondering where the sniff had come from and was surprised when your eyes met Guk’s tear-stained ones.

“Hey.” You whispered as you wiped the tear that rolled down his cheek.

“This sucks.” He muttered, trying to smile but his mouth turned back down into a frown almost instantly. He looked at you and cupped your cheeks, leaning his forehead against yours. “Y/N?”

“Hmm?” you hummed, looking up at him.

"I would've tried again if things were different." He said and his tone was so sincere and his gaze so intense that you knew he meant it and it struck you straight in the heart. “I would’ve tried again and made it right.”

Before the sobs could escape you, Guk leant down and captured your lips with his, and you melted into it, loving how familiar he felt. He pressed closer and you felt your back hit the railing as he wrapped his arms around your waist, making you shiver. You in turn wrapped your arms around his neck, your tears falling from your eyes.

The two of you shared a kiss which you had been secretly longing for ever since the two of you separated; a kiss you knew was the only kiss that could mend all the pain you kept bottle up all those years. It was a kiss that sparked the end…and a new beginning.