4. DEVIATION

"Allah will never disappoint a sincere caller. Even when you think he hasn't answered you, He plans in your favor."

Adyaan's P.O.V

Adyaan had been searching for his project file when finally his room-mate aka classmate stepped in.

"Mushi...have you seen my project report?" Adyaan asked casually as Musharraf Azeez who was dressed in a formal kurta pajama which stated that he had just returned from Masjid after Asr prayer. He was tall around 5'9, fair-complexioned, and of average build. He had missed a few years of schooling to hifz Qur'an, so he was a few years elder to Adyaan but he was a gem of a person. Everyone adored him and he helped everyone in times of need.

"No...did you check in your drawer?" He asked as he searched again trying to recall where he had kept it.

"Recite Laa haula wala quwwatha and in Shaa Allah you will find it soon," Musharraf replied as Adyaan smirked silently to himself. He found it impressive that Musharraf always knew what to do in certain odd situations and these little tips were quite helpful.

Soon Musharraf joined with him helping in searching as he recited 'Laa Haula wala quwwatha' loudly along with Adyaan as he chuckled while reciting. They gave in after few long minutes certain that it was not here.

"You need to remember where you kept it," Musharraf stated as Adyaan scratched his head trying hard to recall but nothing happened.

"It took me two long weeks to prepare that project and now it's just gone like...poof!" Adyaan said in an agitated tone angrily. Why does it always happen to him? Why does he always fail after making so much effort and this realization made his blood boil inside and even before he knew it, he had a deep frown set on his forehead.

"Adyaan..calm down ya akhi!" He said giving him a big smile. "In Shaa Allah, you will find it soon and remember everything happens for our best. Have faith in Allah."

He tried to slam his back when Adyaan had an actual burst out at Musharraf.

"I don't know what is best when I lose everything in the end...I mean what is the point in doing all this? This is hopeless and ridiculous..." He muttered angrily taking deep angry breaths.

"Adyaan....what is wrong with you bro?" Musharraf tried to calm him down noticing how annoyed he looked with his hands planted behind his hips in anger. "Never forget that Allah loves us....Allah loves you ya akhi! He will never put us in a situation which we couldn't handle."

"Right?" Adyaan snapped at Musharraf anger evident in every action. "He loves me that is the reason he deprives me of everything that I give my sweat and blood into...he just snatches it away as if it's nothing....and you want me to believe that He loves me."

Adyaan had no idea why he giggled at the last sentence. It was the irony of the situation that he was going through so much heartache and yet Musharraf wants him to have faith in Allah. He is asking him to trust and be positive when he had made so many duaas to Allah for Tazmeen and Allah knew how priceless she was for him. Then why did Allah snatch her away from him? He was certain that no one could ever love her the way he did and yet he stood empty-handed whereas she had been handed to someone else.

He remembered how much he cried in prayers after meeting Tabish. He hoped for a miracle but nothing happened as he silently witnessed Tazmeen's Nikaah and then his own with Sharmeen. He had no power and no control over anything and from that day till now, he never raised his hands in duaa. His imaan had shaken and he had fallen in deep disappointment. He never prayed nor did he showed up in Masjid after that. It was as if he had so much grudge and complain against Allah for putting him through all this that he was always agitated, angry, or sad.

"He loves you...that's certain." Musharraf went on. "Why are you not coming to Masjid? I don't see you praying also...what is wrong?"

Musharraf had always been a very close friend who invited Adyaan towards Islam and he would share amazing things about Qur'an and give dawah to young Muslims and Non-Muslims as Maa Shaa Allah, he was very talented. Adyaan was very fond of his lectures and enjoyed his company but from the time he returned from Hyderabad, he had been avoiding Musharraf and all his lectures. They hardly communicated and Musharraf being busy with his studies and dawah practice also couldn't find much time to communicate with Adyaan.

" It's just that....uh..." Adyaan didn't know how to explain it to him when a knock made their head turn. A girl with dark brown curly hair stood at the door as she was very fair with big green eyes, a sharp nose, and pouty lips. She had her make-up on as she was dressed in denim blue jeans and a blood red top.

"Hey Adyaan...you left your project report in class." She said in a heavy accented British English.

"Oh...it was there...I had been searching for it all over. Thank you so much Zen for getting it here." Adyaan said happily rushing to the door thankful that he didn't have to answer Musharraf.

"Please don't say that...If you want to thank me then why don't we go for coffee?" Zenith Myers said batting her green eyes.

"Oh sure...we can go now if you are free..." Adyaan said smiling as Musharraf eyes the whole scene.

"Sure...I would love to." She replied in English as Adyaan asked her to wait so he can change. He closed the door and turned to see Musharraf glaring at him.

"Since when did you start entertaining ladies for coffee?" He said raising his eyebrow as Zenith Myers was their classmate and she was an American citizen. She had done her schooling in London but moved to India with her Mom a few years back and joined Engineering.

"It's just a complimentary thing...take it casually Mushi!" Adyaan said giving him a wink as he went inside to change knowing his friend Musharraf doesn't approve of all this. He stayed as far as he can from women which were weird for the boys of his age and talked only when required.

Adyaan hurriedly brushed his hair and tied his show-laces when Musharraf popped up from behind.

"Adyaan....you are acting quite different for quite some time," Musharraf said in a small voice as if reconsidering if this needed discussion. Adyaan nodded in silence trying to act busy with his shoes and half-listening though Musharraf has got his complete attention.

"I don't see you anymore...not in masjid...not in halaqas and now this...?" He said pointing to the door behind which Zenith was waiting for him. "It's odd about you....you are betrothed man and you shouldn't entertain girls as it will affect your mind."

"Mushi...please! I know what I am doing!" Adyaan replied to him gritting his teeth. He didn't want this discussion and didn't wish to hear that he had turned into a devil.

"I know ya akhi! You are my friend and it's my responsibility to guide you towards what is right." Musharraf said raising his voice slowly. "You are a sensible boy and you have a fiance to answer...you are doing this...why?"

Adyaan stood up and stalked towards the door caring less to answer Musharraf but he stopped. He was his best friend and deserved to know the fact. At least a partial truth.

"It's over Mushi! There is no fiancee anymore...she is married to someone else." Adyaan replied not waiting to hear Musharraf reaction. He stepped out as the ache grew within him and his eyes burned when Zenith stepped in front of him with a smile.

"Ready?" She asked excitedly as he smiled at her hiding all the emotions that he felt at that moment.

"Of course..."He replied giving her a big smile as his voice shook slightly. It was as if he was reassuring himself. He needed to stop hurting himself as he had been thinking about it every moment which left him shattered and vulnerable. He needed to indulge in something that could take his mind off for some time and he had such a bad fall that he needed to stand up stronger and braver to fight again.

He knew that girls were a weakness for boys and Zenith was one of the best and beautiful girls in his University. He was certain that in her company he would forget his worries and troubles as he needed that for now. He needed to vent out all that was suffocating him from inside. He needed an escape from reality for some time so he can remove his focus from his worries for and the victory he felt inside by seeing Zenith, he realized that he wasn't trash after all. It was reassurance he was giving to himself that he wasn't a waste. A rejection. A nobody.

She was balm to his shredded ego and solace to his wounded soul. Everyone turned their head to give them a second glance when they walked in corridors with jealousy and awe in their eyes as Zenith wasn't an easy catch after all. It brought an odd sense of relief to him as he smiled to himself forgetting his life that he had lived back in Hyderabad, commitments, and promises he had made to people around, and indulged in this newfound temporary intoxication of sins. A dangerous deviation from the right course.