02

« Fuck ! Are you alright ? I didn’t mean to scare you ! » A panicked male voice stated, crouching down to my level and reaching out to me.

I flinched, throwing myself into the metal rack of the shelves with my clenched shut eyes aimed to the floor to stop the flow of my tears. He cursed again and I jolted, the negative emotion in his tone spiked knives in my stomach and I awaited some kind of hit. However, I was left untouched. My eyes slowly opened and I noticed his arms were no longer directed at me.

« My Luna—argh, uh—ma’am, I am so sorry ! Did I hurt you ? » He asked in a much softer tone, tripping over his words.

My shaking body never came to a stop and I didn’t dare reply, unsure if this was a trap Jade set to hurt me or if this man was truly being nice. Nobody’s ever spoke to me before, so why now ?

He extended his hand to me for the second time and opened it. I flinched again while staring it down with horror. What’s he doing ? Does he want me to hit myself ? My mother is cruel, she’s made me hurt myself with her own two hands before.

I slowly reached out and grabbed his wrist, taking no time to pull his palm in and slap myself as hard as I could. He jolted his hand back like it hurt him and the sudden movement made me cower down.

Was it not hard enough ? Why is she punishing me in a store ? Her ways always take me by surprise…

A low animalistic growl rumbled behind me and my intense trembling came to a halt, terror tickled my spine and before I knew it hands pulled me to my feet. I held my breath with a stiffened body, keeping my gaze below their neckline and silently crying.

Where is the cashier ? Where are the customers ? Where is anyone to stop this ? Why is the world working against me ? What have I done to deserve this ?

« Let her go, Blaine, you’re scaring her ! » A different male snapped, resulting in my arms to be released and I backed into the shelf. I kept my eyes closed in an attempt to end this confusing nightmare.

Silence engulfed us and I refused to move without permission, terrified they’d report back to my mother about my disobedience. She might cut off another finger then reattach it again…

« Hey, » the new, feminine male said softly, his delicate voice sent shivers through my body and I grimaced, « did he hurt you ? »

I didn’t answer, feeling a warm hand find mine and my eyes shot open. My paralyzed body came back to me and I ripped away from him, holding my limbs to my chest and pushing myself impossibly further into the shelf.

« Did he do that ? » The male asked, referring to my discolored finger that was recently replaced.

I didn’t answer, snatching another bag of the chips and taking a step back from the burley men. Jade will be angry if I’m not home on time, she wouldn’t send anyone to delay her snack run.

These men aren’t with her. I’m not sure if that’s relieving or worse…

« Wait, » he took a step toward me and I flinched into the pole that happened to be behind me, nearly jumping out of my skin at the unexpected contact and throwing myself back to the shelf. The man came to an abrupt stop at my reaction.

I scrambled out of the aisle and ran to the self checkout, scanning the item and swiping the card before bolting out of the store with vile swarming my stomach.

I’m late…

My legs were on fire by the time I reached the house and upon reaching the porch I fell to my hands and knees, putting the chips in front of the door and lowering my head. She always demands I show the back of my neck when I apologize, it usually eases her mood but I doubt this time it’ll do any good.

I heard the door rip open and I jumped at the slam, lowering my body further to the ground and feeling her grab onto me.

« You are five minutes late ! You incompetent, stupid, frail little girl ! » She screeched, yanking me inside by my roots and throwing me to the floor without care. She grabbed her chips and slammed the door shut, turning to me and putting the bag on the table next to the couch. She was softer on the chips than on me ; I wasn’t surprised.

I bit my lip and closed my eyes when her cold hands wrapped around my throat, raising my body off the floor and slamming me into the wall.

« And you fucking spoke to someone ? » Her voice boomed, her untrimmed nails digging beneath my jawbone and applying pressure to the nerves.

I grabbed her arm but regretted it immediately, feeling her shove me over and I smashed into the glass lamp near the front door. It shattered when my body knocked it over and many shards slit my hands alongside bits of my face.

« You will not touch me ! » She screamed. I grabbed one of the many shards and threw my hand around in defense at her approach. I heard her yell out when I sliced her so I stood and ran up the stairs, locking myself in the first room with streaming tears.

The second my hands wrapped around her arm, I knew right then and there she was going to kill me in the worst way possible. I don’t want to die. I just want to escape her. I want to be free…

« I will give you ten seconds to open this motherfucking door before I break it down ! You do not want me to break it down, Angelica Mae Winter ! »

Panic consumed me and I looked at the glass shard in my hand, knowing it would be useless against her.

« Ten ! »

My body quaked until I looked in the mirror. I haven’t seen myself since way before I can remember but something about the girl staring back gave me a small boost of courage.

« Nine ! »

The girl in the mirror looked broken and it’s all thanks to the woman on the other side of the door—the woman who was supposed to love me unconditionally.

« Eight ! »

The girl had a fogged over, bloodshot eye, while the other was a lifeless hazel, the bones in her face were very pronounced with fresh cuts scattered.

« Seven ! »

I averted my line of sight from the mirror, moving my hair and stabbing into the back of my neck. I proceeded to saw my flesh off down to the bone. The adrenaline masked any pain I know I’ll be feeling later, but that’s a later problem.

« Six ! »

I ripped it the rest of the way, feeling it tear with liquid running down each side of my neck.

« Five ! »

I looked at the chunk of flesh with teary eyes and spotted the lodged pill-like device, putting both the glass and tracker on the counter before opening the window quietly. I didn’t hesitate throwing myself out, hitting the ground roughly and bolting into the woods to get as far away from here as possible.

I didn’t want her kill me, she’s already killed the life in me. I don’t want to die physically if this is how it feels to be dead inside.

I want to experience happiness.

I want to know what it’s like to have no fear.

I want to be free.