His abused luna

01

I scurried to clean the water on the floor, using a handful of paper towels and quickly throwing them in the trash as if nothing happened. My heart raced in my chest from the anxiety.

« The fuck are you doing in here ? You don’t get to eat my food ! Get your ass on the floor ! » Jade screamed, rushing over to my now trembling figure and kicking my knee in.

I crashed to the floor, lowering my head to avoid her face and another impact crashed into the middle of my back. Tears brimmed my eyes and I grasped the tiny cracks in the tile, feeling her drill the steel-toe combat boot straight into my side.

My mother was away when my father cheated on her, she came back and found them together. My dad in the spur of the moment didn’t know what excuse to make, so he beat her nearly to death. I was blamed. He left with the other woman and my mother was sure to keep me here, using me to get out her frustrations over my father so she didn’t have to buy things she broke around the house.

She thought I was stealing food because I ate out of the trash, any leftovers she had was never daily but it happened. Whenever she’d get drunk or high, I’d sneak in here like an animal to scrounge for food in the filthy bag-less can.

If she ever saw me standing I’d be forced to the floor. I think my height intimidates her even though she can destroy me. She stands at the good height of five-foot-three where I stand with five-foot-nine. I used to fight back but I’ve realized it’s easier to just accept ; she was a Navy SEAL.

« Get the fuck out ! Move it ! » She shrieked, kicking the side of my face and I clenched my eyes closed to keep my tears at bay.

Eye contact is another big no-no. The last time I ever looked up at her she gave me calcium hydroxide eye drops, it was excruciatingly painful and I haven’t been able to see through my left eye since. I’ve been half blind for two years, the luxury to be able to see with both brings me to silent cries. I’ve forgotten what it’s like…

I urgently crawled out of the room on my hands and knees, my head hung low as I scrambled into the living room back to my crate. When I curled up inside the cramped space she slammed the exit closed and locked me in, kicking the side of it with a string of curses.

« You good for nothing piece of garbage ! You’re wasting perfectly good space ! I should throw you to the wolves and watch as they tear into you limb by limb ! » She threatened, planting one last kick to the outside and I flinched.

I watched her retreating figure and broke down, allowing my tears to fall freely with low shivers. The cold feel of the crate against my skin created goosebumps. This is where I slept and it’s where I go whenever I disobey, it never lasts because she’s too eager to start beating on me again.

She took away my clothes as well, I’m not good enough to have my body covered. The only time I get the privilege is when she sends me into the stores. I enjoy getting out but it only worsens my depression, it’s a reminder that I’ll never be free. She went as far as implanted a tracker in the back of my neck just to make sure of it.

As for my bodily fluids, when I have to use the bathroom she takes me to the backyard or forces me to go in my crate. We live nowhere near others, it’s a small country home, so even if I get outside privilege nobody can see to help me.

When my period comes around, I have to bleed on myself. She doesn’t let me out of here during that time so I can’t complain too much. I have to sleep in chunks of my uterine lining once a month for a week. I’m a heavy bleeder which makes it much worse. That’s also the only time I get to bathe. She’s the one to clean me, touching every crease of my body with a moldy sponge. She doesn’t trust I won’t drown myself.

I wish she’d just kill me if her hate is as strong as it seems, except she couldn’t be without her punching bag.

I know as long as she lives, I don’t get to.

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« Who told you that you can sleep ? » I heard her shriek, jolting me awake as fear waved down my spine. My leg was grabbed and I felt my body being pulled out of the crate, my face was met with a pair of bony knuckles.

« Put these on ! You’re making a run for me ! » She demanded, shoving the clothes against me and I shakily grabbed them.

I didn’t hesitate sliding on the baggy clothes from my position on the ground. It was a hoodie four sizes too big and a pair of sweats that were too big as well, they were the exact same things I wear every grocery run. They cover my bruising and malnourished figure from questioning eyes, nobody approaches me when I look this unappealing and that’s her goal. If I made contact with someone I couldn’t imagine the way she’d hurt me. I’ve never once spoken to anyone other than her or my father throughout my life, a few years after my beatings I decided to stop speaking altogether. My voice angered her and made it worse.

She barely let me finish when she slammed worn down shoes at me. I hastily slid them on, knowing if I hesitated she’d have my head.

I then frowned at the newly forming hole on the side of the right shoe, seeing her stomp over to the front door and click it unlocked.

« Now get the fuck out of my house, you have an hour to get me the blue Takis ! » She spat, clicking a timer on her phone and granting me access to the outside world.

It takes me twenty-five minutes to get to the store if I run. She always gave me horrible time frames, yet I knew better than to do anything of it.

My body crawled to the door and she kicked me onto the porch, the second the door slammed I shot into a standing position and bolted. My vision was patchy at first due to my lack of nutrients but I pushed through, knowing I have no time to stop.

My eye gazed up into the rainbow sherbet sky as a distraction from the aching my body screamed at me. A flock of birds flew toward what appeared to be the never ending horizon to a new world—a free one.

I wish I were a bird, all they know is how to be free. They live to be free.

The corners of my mouth tugged upward at the beautiful sight, unfortunately the smile that fought my frown never won it’s place on my lips.

Jade would put me through the worst torture of my life if I ever tried to escape, she uses her phone to track my location at all times. Besides, she knows the terror she inflicts me into and she’s aware of my silenced voice. She damaged my throat to ensure I’d never talk again if I changed my mind. I was able to make noises when I chose to mute, but they quickly became annoying to her. She decided to shut me up completely and permanently.

The store came into view and I pushed my body over its limits, holding the pants up as I rushed through the automatic doors of the empty store. I spotted one cashier and no customers, thank god !

I lowered my head and trudged down the aisles, stopping when the familiar purple and blue bag came into view. I started my way toward it and grabbed it from the shelf, putting my hand in the pocket of the hoodie to make sure the card was still there.

After confirming, I turned myself to head to the register but ended up slamming into someone. My body felt like it hit the rigor mortis stage when a cold bucket of terror stiffened every possible muscle in me all at once. The chips in my hand fell to the floor as quick as me and I burst into uncontrollable tears, my quaking body shielding my head waiting for a harsh impact.