Chapter 3 - Let's talk

"You need a dress!" Vanessa shouted in Emily's ear over the phone. "The party's on Friday and you still haven't found a dress!" She continued.

Emily sighed, rolling over on bed. "Why the hell did you wake me up to tell me this?!" She complained.

"It's 8 am, lazy girl." Her friend shot back with a snort.

"It's Sunday! And it's still Summer!" Emily complained, now laying back on her bed.

"So what? I've been up since two hours already." The other replied. Emily sighed. She wasn't a morning person, not at all, but her best friend was, in fact Vanessa was sportive, she went jogging every morning, even on Sundays, actually, the girl was hyperactive, Emily always thought, never sitting and just relaxing.

She'd been like that too, till she played volleyball, she'd always be training, no matter what, surely not so early in the morning, but she'd always be throwing a ball to the other side of something. It was more than a passion, it was part of her. And it was gone.

Hence, she'd been giving up on sport as well, she'd quit training in any way, at first because she obviously couldn't, because of the injury, then because ... well, if she couldn't play volleyball for real, then why bother? From there, the extra pounds she'd gained and that made her feel so inadequate and so ... huge.

"Mom is taking me to the fair near town. We're picking you up by half past nine." Vanessa announced, to which Emily frowned. It was Sunday. There was no way in hell she'd get up that early on Sunday. She only did when her cousins were visiting, because they were really cute kids, but so noisy.

Other times would be when Jason would come barging into her room and nearly burning her irises by opening the curtains without warning, grumbling about her being a lazybones, but mostly, her mother let her sleep peacefully till she wanted at least on Sunday. When she had school, there was no complaining that worked, she was to be out of bed at exactly 6 am every morning, her school being half an hour away from home, her mother being categorical about her trying to skip breakfast.

"Not an option." Emily stated, covering her eyes with her free hand because of the bright light already seeping through her curtains.

"There will be Dean too ..." Vanessa tried to tempt her friend, who grunted.

"There can be Jesus in person, I'm not moving from this bed today." Emily stated. "Plus, what has the fair to do with my dress?"

Vanessa rolled her eyes as she twirled her hair while gazing into her wardrobe to decide what to wear. It was a sunny day and it was warmer than usual, so maybe ... a sundress? If she was lucky, Jason would be there to admire the result of her efforts when she picked up Emily.

As soon as she'd mentioned they'd pick up Emily, Dean had obviously wanted to tag along, claiming he was bored and didn't have anything to do, but Vanessa knew all too well that was just an excuse to see his crush.

Ah, her twin brother was so smitten. He didn't tag along when she hung out with Emily only because he was too shy and had no idea how to relate with her, but he was crushed, completely, had been since she introduced them, and Vanessa had been trying to have them together since long, but there was to work on Emily's self esteem first of all, as Jason agreed.

"It's a mode fair, silly girl. We're going and you'll pick a dress." Vanessa stated categorically.

Emily sighed, bargaining: "I'll buy one on ... Monday."

Her friend rolled her eyes. "We've seen all the shops at the mall and found nothing."

"Then I'll wear jeans and a t-shirt."

Vanessa snorted. "Don't be stupid. It's a fancy event."

"It's just a stupid party for mom's promotion, it's not even her choice."

"It's fancy nevertheless."

Emily grumbled something Vanessa didn't catch. Was it for Vanessa, she'd be all dressed up like a doll every day of the year, was it for her, she'd wear sweatpants and hoodie all the time.

Vanessa had been trying to convince her friend to go to the fair for a few minutes when Mrs. Robinson barged in without knocking, cordless in hand, announcing: "Emily, there's Riley on the phone for you."

The girl shot up immediately, feeling her heart start thumping in her chest. "R-Riley? W-what does he want with me? Didn't he say Jason?" Emily asked, her phone still at her ear, so that Vanessa was there listening, baffled. That wasn't new, Riley used to call her often, sure, but ... on a Sunday morning, when he'd seen her only the day before ...

"No, sweetie, he specifically said Emily. Plus, your brother's gone fishing with your father." Mrs. Robinson replied calmly, perusing her daughter. Why was she so agitated all of a sudden? Only the night before she'd gladly talked to Riley, being much more cheerful than she'd ever been in the past four years, so what was the issue now? Her cheeks were even flushed ... hmmm, maybe she'd been talking to Vanessa's brother or about him, it seemed the boy had the numbers to be her daughter's very first boyfriend, so maybe that was it.

Emily remained there speechless, not knowing what to do. "So, are you taking the call or not? I can't have him waiting all day." Her mother pressed her. She had so many things to do and the poor guy was left hanging. Had it been any other of her son's friends, it would have been odd that he'd asked about her daughter and not about Jason, but this was Riley, 9 times out of 10, when he called home, it was to hear from Emily.

Emily blinked her eyes. "Y-Yes, I ..." Sybil handed her the phone without waiting for the rest of her answer, then exited the room. Emily took a deep breath, and hung up on her Smartphone without even thinking, then pulled the cordless to her ear. "H-Hello?"

"Hey, Honeybee." Riley greeted cheerfully. "I didn't wake you, did I? I remember you're not really a morning person." He continued, the chuckle clear in his voice.

Emily fought with herself to find the strength to talk. Why was it so hard all of a sudden? Only the night before it'd been so easy, and yet now ... now her heart kept thumping and she felt her throat dry, billions of words spinning in her mind, but no one was right. In the end, she took a deep breath and greeted him: "H-Hi, Riley ... no, Vanessa woke me first."

He chuckled openly. "Then I'm safe. Listen, I know there's some sort of flea market near town today, and I was wondering if you'd come with me, you know, to ... help me pick the right suit for your mother's party." He explained.

Emily felt like fainting. It wasn't a date, was it? It couldn't be a date. He'd never even think of inviting her out like that. She'd spent plenty of afternoons with him at the movies or bookstore or library or anywhere she wanted to go to when she was a child, but now things were so different ...

"Emmy? You still there?" Riley asked, seeing as she'd remained silent for a couple of minutes.

"Y-Yes, I'm ... still here. It's just that I've been woken up, so I am still ..."

"Sleepy?"

She smiled at the idea of him always being able to complete her sentences. "Kind of."

He smiled as well. "So, you coming?"

"Riley, I ..."

"I've heard you need a dress too, so I thought I could help. And we could ... talk." Her throat dried. Talk? About what? Oh. Her injury. And everything that was going through her mind. Mindful Riley, he never missed a thing, did he? He just wanted a few hours alone with her to inquire on whatever was it that made her so gloomy. The best of brothers, he was. If only she considered him a brother ... but she didn't. Never had, never would. Especially not now.

Her thoughts were really frilly and wrong and stupid, but she couldn't avoid them. She kept visualizing his gorgeous smile and his marvelous forest green eyes, and the hug yesterday ... while being so familiar, it'd also been so different, because there was something in having his arms around her protectively that she couldn't quite explain.

Riley was persuasive, though, he knew all too well how to bring her to spill out her every secret, till four years ago, there had been nothing she'd ever been able to hide to him, while there were plenty of things Jason didn't know. Riley was even there when she became a woman: Aunt Flo paid a visit for the first time right when she was getting ready to go to the movies with him, even if she'd done her best to hide it, he persuaded her into telling him, only to then blush a little and awkwardly ask if she needed anything. They were so close, that he learnt even to take care of her when she was in such predicament, and despite the first embarassment,she felt comfortable with it.

Hence, a few hours alone were more than enough for him to have her open up, and Emily didn't have the slightest intention of telling him what was up with her, she didn't want him to think of her as a silly teenager, neither did she want him to take upon himself her troubles.

Therefore she cleared her throat, and tried to back out of it: "Vanessa just asked me the very same thing." She wanted to see him, wanted to spend time with him, but he'd have her talk and she couldn't. Besides, the way her heart kept thumping only while she was talking to him over the phone meant that a whole day alone with him would be just as awkward.

Riley gave her peace, but he also made her heart beat faster than ever, especially when he smiled gently at her ... no. She needed to get rid of those unwanted and frilly ideas before being able to spend a whole day alone with him without giving away anything. She needed to come to her senses first, then she could go back to that peculiar bond she had with him.

However, Riley had the solution: "Oh, she's going too? How about I take you both? So I can meet this amazing friend of yours too."

Something inside Emily cracked. He wanted to meet Vanessa. Surely he'd be captured, like everybody was. He'd forget about her. After all, between her and Vanessa, the choice was really easy. What fool would pick her when there was Vanessa around?

There you go. Her heart started aching again. The sole idea of losing him did that. Four years ago she'd bottled it up all inside, not to show it, but every night she'd cry herself to sleep, because she missed him and had no idea what to do.

During the daylight there was volleyball to keep her company, but at night things were different, thoughts of him would crowd her mind and they were all a messy mix of childish and adult, there were the memories of her childhood with him but also the ones about the tingles she'd felt on her skin those times he'd caressed her.

She was 13, going for 14, she knew what having a crush meant, she'd had a couple, but those were very different emotions. And she didn't understand them, she wanted them gone, but they were still there, and because he wasn't, they were even more powerful.

Emily took a deep breath, closing her eyes. Why this again? Wasn't it over? It'd been four years. She couldn't feel such weird things. Not for Riley. She kind of liked Dean, not deeply, she found him cute and funny and maybe even nice to be around, so she kind of liked him, then why didn't he cause her the same emotions?

Why didn't she crave to see Dean as much as she craved to see Riley? Why did her heart ache so bad at the sole idea of losing Riley but not Dean? But most of all, why did she fear so much that he'd pick Vanessa over her?

"Emily?" Riley called, unsure whether she was still there or not.

She heaved a shaky breath, closing her eyes. Why couldn't she just delete those thoughts and emotions and let things be as normal as they used to be? Why did he cause her such weird feelings? It was so easy once.

Riley used to be her special friend when she was a child, despite the difference in age, why couldn't he be now? Better said, why did those two words assumed a whole different meaning from the original one? Why was everything so complicated?

Emily pressed her eyelids as Riley called once more, clearly worried. There was so much in her head, she had no idea what to fix first. She wanted to see him, but at the same time she didn't, because then her heart would race so fast at his every single smile and she couldn't cope.

That same heart had restarted aching, burning, and she had no idea why. Or maybe she didn't want to know. Because then it would hurt only more. Riley ought to be a brother to her. And he thought of himself as that only.

Letting such pervasive emotions infect her heart was only counterproductive. After all, even if one didn't consider the difference in age, there were always the thousands of flaws she had and that certainly he'd never like. There were so many other older and more beautiful girls better for him ... ugh, no. Thinking that meant even only considering a bond that was different from the one they had and ... no.

"Emily, are you alright? What's wrong? Please, talk to me." Riley's louder voice came to interrupt her thoughts, and she half recoiled.

She sighed and reassured him: "Yeah, I ... sorry, I was just ... thinking."

"About what?"

She cleared her throat, stammering: "T-Things ..."

Riley sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. No, no, things here were even worse than he thought. What the hell happened to the carefree kid he knew? Sure, being a teenager wasn't easy, especially not these days, but he'd always thought his Emily would be beyond those dramas.

Maybe it had to do with that Dean? Maybe he hurt her in some way, that's why she was so reluctant when it came to him. Or maybe she had troubles with friends or ... ugh, it could be anything! He had to inquire, there was no way he'd let her sink in her glum without doing anything about it.

"I'm picking you up in an hour, okay?" He stated, trying to sound only gentle and not concerned neither authoritative.

Emily's heart skipped beat. "But Vanessa, she ..."

"Call her and ask if she wants to tag along."

"But, Riley, I ..."

The stern way was never the right one, the proof was Jason, therefore Riley took the kind path, being a bit sneaky maybe, but truthful as he admitted: "I just want some time to talk to my Honeybee, may I?"

Emily's eyes widened, but at the same time a smile tugged at her lips, which made it easier for her heart to lead for once, and she accepted. She knew that when he said talking in that tone he meant he wanted to know what was wrong with her, but, hopefully, Vanessa's presence would save her from that. Hopefully, her anxieties were silly, he wouldn't forget her just because her best friend was more interesting.