Chapter 8: Bringing Up The Past

God only knew he was torn apart over this meeting. Gary wasn’t one to baulk a task, but this was entirely different. His head was on a chopping block, his heart- yes, his heart- he grimly admitted was in the blender and his mind was slowly making its way to a psychiatric ward. He was going to go crazy because he was keeping a lot of secrets, and all he wanted to do most was hold a girl who hardly knew him.

“Even the good book says there’s a time for everything, man,” he muttered to himself as he put his foot on the brakes. Apparently now was still the time to put his needs on hold and endure further silence. “Break a leg kid.”

When he was halfway to the door, Kristina jumped out wearing a blazer with the sleeves rolled halfway up her arms, short denim shorts and sneakers.

“Oh, God help me,” he moaned through the smile he was forming on his face. Then he said, “Hey, you look great,” loud enough for her to hear.

He hugged her briefly then led her to the car. Carrie poked her head out of the front door.

“Bye, kids. Be good! And Gary, young man, I want her home before it’s dark.”

“Sure thing sweetness,” he replied with a wave.

“Where are we going?” Kris asked, determined to relax and have a good time.

“Back to my place.”

She tensed.

“I have to pick up my wallet,” he continued, “which I was clever enough to forget.”

She released her captive breath in a giggle, wondering if she would be able to ask him anything at all. She had spoken to Dr. Versha about the date and the doctor’s advice had been that she relax and take in everything as it occurred. She was going to try.

The car stopped outside the beach house and Gary jumped out. “I won’t be a minute.”

Kristina glanced at her watch as he jogged to the door. He was gone a very short time. As he got in the car, he asked her, “How long did I take?”

“Fifty seconds,” came the prompt response.

Gary grinned and nodded, starting the car.

She didn’t know what to say.

“How did you know I was going to time you?”

“You always used to hold me to my word,” he told her.

Pause.

“Did we spend a lot of time together?”

“All the time we had to spend,” he replied happily.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Then how come I can’t remember?” she asked, studiously neutral.

Gary saw through the nonchalance and tried not to smile. “I have no problem with going through all of it all over again.”

All of what? She longed to know, out loud she said, “Including the bad bits?”

“Including those,” he nodded. “They build character, girl.”

“Even the accident?” Softly.

“I recall we made it through that too, but,” he answered wryly, “I don’t mind leaving that bit out.”

He sounded bitter, as if he had gotten the raw end of that deal, but there was something he was implying that she just had to question.

“You keep saying ‘we’ what do you mean by that- were we dating?” she blurted out.

He wasn’t going to have that discussion right now. He shrugged, “Doesn’t everyone in varsity?”

She considered his response. Maybe it hadn’t been a serious thing, Kris thought. She was willing to let it go. There was something else she wondered about. He had said ‘after the accident’. What did he mean? Had he been there when she woke up?

“Can we talk about the accident?” she asked timidly, as they turned off the main road onto the gravel driveway of the chic steak house Confusion.

“Yeah, we’ll talk about it.”

The décor of the establishment was anything but confused- it was the chef’s choice of foods and his knack for mixing flavors which gave the place its name. It was only here, Kris knew, that the rich and famous would dare be caught licking their fingers in broad daylight.

The table they were given was outside, where the crash of the waves was a comforting but distant noise. They ordered drinks and began to study the menu. When Gary had made up his mind about what he would eat, he looked across the table at her with solemn grey eyes.

Lord, he had amazing eyes.

“You and I have never discussed the night of your accident.”

“No, we haven’t. At first I thought it was because I didn’t know you.” She saw annoyance cross his face. “I keep seeing that look in your eyes. I’m sorry. I just don’t remember anything about you before my accident. I wish I knew why.”

It was those words that helped him decide what to tell her and what wouldn’t be useful if she wanted to progress.

“Okay. I’ll tell you what I can… narration or interview?’

Kris hesitated. “Narration.”

“Okay,” he said again.

Kris and Gary had been friends for years. (That revelation made her raise her eyebrows in surprise. For years?) He joined the fraternity about eight months before her accident and they’d gotten even closer. As he had mentioned earlier, they had spent plenty of time in each other’s company, and had developed into something of a pair on campus.

When Kris’s birthday had come around, Gary had been there, naturally. The night had been going smoothly, everyone had been dancing and enjoying themselves.

“Then,” he told her, “we had an argument.”

“About what?”

“About my brother,” he smiled without humor.

“What?”

“I can’t remember what exactly,” he prevaricated, “but I saw you with him, most probably said something snide and you responded as usual- with enough fire to grill a dragon- and you stormed off, leaving me and my brother to piss each other off. After we got over the issue- my brother and I- we both started looking for you.” Pause. “When your mother told me you had gone for a drive, Reese urged me to find you and apologize. So I hopped in my car and drove in the direction we assumed you had gone.”

Kris listened intently as he continued with his version of the incidents that had occurred on her birthday. He told her he had done a lot of thinking. Thinking about how he was going to apologize and whether she had really been that angry.

He had found her car parked above the white beach, next to a black pick-up truck. Well, at first it had looked parked, but with closer inspection he had discovered the damage to the rail and the front bumper. That alone had triggered slight panic and he’d started toward the beach, calling her name. Finding one of her shoes and her cell phone, he had doubled his efforts to reach her. Sounds of splashing water and male voices had sent him thundering down the shale and sand slope, where he saw two men struggling with Kris, near the water’s edge.

They had dropped her, surprised to be caught manhandling a girl. Then one of them said, “I’ll take care of him.”

His primary concern had been saving Kristina from the evident danger, so he had tackled the man closer to him, winding him altogether. Then he had kicked the other man in the stomach and rushed to carry Kris out of the knee-deep water.

As he tried to clear her air ways and stomach, the two men had grabbed him and pulled him and Kris apart.

“They beat and kicked me until I decided to play possum,” he said tonelessly. “Then they left me alone. I think they left immediately after that.” To this day, he was not sure if he had blacked out and they had done things to her before leaving her alone. He prayed it only occurred in his haunted imagination and that what he was about to tell her was the truth.

Kris paled as he continued. On his hands and knees he had made it to her side. Her dress had been torn, her face and body bruised- she was unconscious at that point. He had felt for a pulse and as soon as he found one, he had covered her body with his jacket and passed out.

“We were found a bit later. When I hadn’t returned, triumphant with you on my arm, they all got a little worried.” He stopped talking and looked up. Someone was coming with their food.

“Here’s your mixed grill, Miss Hawkins and your fajitas Gary.”

“Thanks Billy,” Gary said.

When the waiter was gone, she asked, “You mean I’ve been here before- with you?”

He nodded with a sardonic glint in his eyes and she became uncomfortable.

“Was- is this a special table?”

“No, we’ve never sat here.” He frowned. “Relax Kris, I didn’t come here to refresh your memory. Just need you in a quiet and relatively neutral place so I can tell you what happened.”

He refrained from telling her more just then, as he picked up the salt shaker and then began to eat. She took a few small bites of her food and then watched him finish off his first fajita without relish. He started on the second and then decided against it. She supposed he wasn’t hungry. She wasn’t eating much because her food tasted like sawdust. Her nerves were on end with the story he was putting together for her and it made her food taste like nothing. She couldn’t possibly enjoy it now.

“I had a concussion, multiple fractures to my rib cage and a broken hand. You- you had a number of things wrong with you, as you must know.”

“Tell me,” she insisted.

In that moment, Kristina thought she saw pain in his eyes and she almost withdrew her softly spoken demand, but something held her back.

Gary took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“You caught pneumonia- your lungs were obviously filled with water from the near drowning. Your ribs were cracked too, your right arm was badly sprained, your left leg was broken in two places, you had a hairline fracture near your ear. Your organs took a hard beating. Your kidneys were bruised and you lost consciousness twice after they revived you before falling into the coma you remember waking up from.”

He spoke quietly and emotionlessly. She wondered oddly how he remembered all that and what he felt- what he was really feeling now.

After three weeks she had woken up.

She gasped at this revelation. “I did?”

Yes, he told her. Gary had been by her bed when she had opened her eyes. She had recounted everything she was conscious for, they’d apologized to one another for their silly argument and she’d fallen asleep. He had then gotten the call from the hospital the following morning, telling him that Kris had gone back into a coma.

A few days later he flew across the country for personal reasons. He hadn’t seen her since her relapse, until the day of the fraternity party. He didn’t tell her those personal reasons and she didn’t think he wanted to share them, so she asked him something else.

What had she told him when she woke up?

Gary sat very still for a while, staring out at the ocean. He didn’t notice the frown on Kris’s face as she watched him. Nor did he see the waiter Billy take away the plates.

“You told me you remembered everything. Every horrible thing.”

“What horrible things, Gary?” she pressed urgently.

Because she asked, he told her and as he did, the color drained from her face and her eyes filled with tears. She clutched the table as her chest constricted and the tears began to fall.

How could he account how she’d gotten her injuries so dully?

She couldn’t figure him out... how he knew so much but seemed so disconnected. Kris knew, even as he spoke that he’d rather not be talking about her injuries and the way she had gotten them.

Was he trying to forget as much as she was trying to remember?

If he was, she was taking him back through painful territory and that made her feel even worse. But she needed to know and it seemed only he could tell her.

Kris still couldn’t remember that part of what happened to her, but it definitely explained her dreams. The two men who had rammed into her car and taken her down to the water side were monsters. If she was in Gary’s position, she would have these memories burned into her memory too. She couldn’t even question how he remembered it all... it was too horrifying to dismiss.

With every word he spoke, he’d shed light on what happened to her and it had struck her so deeply, she couldn’t help the tears falling down her face. She didn’t want to be that girl in his memories who had told him about how she’d been assaulted and left for dead. No one deserved to be that girl. And Gary didn’t deserve to relive the agony of that time one year ago.

Why did he seem so detached?