8

Monday morning.

I hate Tyler, I spent the most infamous of nights tossing and turning. All my memories have come to haunt me, I haven't slept all night. It was the fifth coffee I'd had since the start of the day to keep my eyes peeled. I do not know how Tyler understood this fear that is inseparable from me, this apprehension. I can't stand the touch of men anymore, I was traumatized by it, they had abused it.

The determination in his eyes amazed me, he changed.

Suddenly the door to my office opens and I jump. I'm on my nerves, nothing annoys me today. This is Eva.

"What is Tyler doing here?" she launches. I thought you said he was dead!

“That's what I thought. He came back here? I ask intrigued. He has nerve, I whistle.

- He...

We are interrupted by the presence of this man, he arrives in my office. He's more relaxed than the day before and exhibits a smile, that smile he's always had, I can't help but be wary of.

- Hey, it goes on coffee, slept badly boss?

I give him my middle finger and look away. Eva navigates her gaze between him and me.

"Did you know he was back?"

“Yeah, I ran into her at the park yesterday,” he cuts me off.

I smile falsely and take a bottle of liquor from my desk. I have to get a little drunk, because if he continues with that smile and that confidence I might kill him. He makes me sick. I'm really afraid to feel his hands on my skin again.

Eva is still staring at us. She suspects something but says nothing. I really like this woman because she has a notion of respect that I share. Certain things cross her mind but she does not necessarily pronounce them because she is thinking. Tyler should be taking notes

When she slams the door, I get up and open the window of my office. All of a sudden the temperature went from freezing to scorching hot next to Tyler, or else it's because of the alcohol I don't know.

He sits in front of my desk and puts his feet there.

"May I know what you are doing?" I ask.

- Obviously I have no office here. So I do what I can.

"And your feet?" Did you ever think they smelled like roses?

He smiles at the pike and puts his feet down. Finally, maybe he knows the definition of obeying.

“Glad to see you again, boss.

"What do you want from me, Tyler?" I cut it. Seeing me burst into tears turns you on, doesn't it? If that's what you're here for, move on.

He crosses his fingers over my desk and frowns. He looks confident and determined.

"I'm not here for that. The other time it was more revenge, you deserved it.

- It's wrong. You didn't understand it, but I did this to help you. You weren't ready. It is only the experiences of life that lead to progress. In view of the result, it is without regret.

He applauds me. I have the vague impression that he is far from being sincere at this moment.

- Without regret? Do you really want to know what I experienced there?

- No, and I do not care about your stories, I replied.

For a moment his eyes gauge me, he tries to impress me, to show me that he is no longer the same Tyler, the one ignorant like a free electron, in my eyes he still is.

"You don't even want to know how I got out of it?" he asks

I huff and snap my fingers against the table energetically.

“I don't give a fuck. Do you think surviving on your own and getting back into the workforce is a feat? You are wrong. There isn't a single person here who hasn't experienced this.

He frowns and pulls his body closer to my desk.

- Even you ?

I slowly cross my legs and move closer to my desk. We stare at each other.

"Where do you think I got this mental strength from?" Certainly not while having fun playing with my Barbies.

I too had had such an experience four years ago. They didn't force me to, but I decided to go to Japan alone, with nothing, neither money nor a weapon. I started looking for a combat master: Master Xiung. He was the perfect definition of calm and power. He taught me how to fight and to contain all this anger that I contained within me. He taught me to make my weaknesses my ultimate strength.

I stayed with him for a year, enduring night and day the harsh living conditions he imposed on me. Our workouts were very strenuous, there was no room for pain or extravagance. Another young girl, a little older was training alongside me: Eva.

The master was contacted by the boss of the organization in which I am now. Master Xiung was never for revenge, he advised us time and time again not to indulge in our bad feelings, it was not what he taught us, but deep down inside us the choice was already done. This organization was for the sole purpose of revenge for the injustice done to me and my husband.

"The question I have to ask though is, how do you know about it?"

He furrows his eyebrows for a moment, but lucidity comes to him quickly. The mood of this conversation seems more and more intimate and cold. In the end, I'm not really panicked by the fact that he touched me disproportionately, but more because I feared that he knew the truth about me.

"I know, that's all.

- Tyler! I am not joking ! I grumbled.

He finally lets go of my gaze and leans back in his chair. He combs his hair and crosses his legs.

- Believe me, in five months, we have enough to do. It's true, every time I touched you, you reacted strangely, not to mention that...

He stops and laughs under his breath.

"Is there something funny?" That?

He scratches his throat immediately and regains his seriousness.

"Wha... You look like a very sexually frustrated woman to me." I had a physics teacher in high school, she was always in a bad mood in the morning. The class had fun saying that it was because she was badly fucked by her husband. Imagine, you remind me of my physics teacher.

I nearly choke. How dare he talk me out of such nonsense? So it was this stupid thought that led him to know my secret? My behaviour? I clench my fists and feel blood rush to my brain.

"Since when have you not had sex?" He keeps on. Tell me if I'm wrong, but you seem frankly frustrated as a woman, you should try, it's relaxing. Ah, but I forgot, you can't stand being touched, that's for sure fucking isn't done via the internet.

This moron starts laughing in front of my eyes and I feel myself burning with anger. What am I thinking? That he died? I am far too naive. He dares to laugh at this apprehension, he thinks he knows everything, he thinks I'm afraid of him for a stupid reason. Yet I have a reason to be. I stand up abruptly and force him to do the same. I fume internally. I want to break every bone in his body.

"Do you find that funny?" Do you suddenly feel stronger when you come back from nowhere? That's what we'll see then. Hit me.

He steps back and looks puzzled.

- In your office? I... Finally there is more appropriate...

I breathe and close my eyes. He's really starting to annoy me with his most appropriate situations.

"You're starting to piss me off...

I open my eyes suddenly, his arm grabs me by the neck and he presses my back against his chest.

- Attention, rule number one, he tells me. Always be wary of each other.

He got me good. I have to admit, I didn't think he was bluffing at the time. It unsettles me and I don't like it. I fight against his strength. As soon as I feel a relaxation on his part, I take the opportunity to throw him a shot in his crotch. His support weakens and he grimaces, he does not let himself be dismantled.

I throw my elbow in his face and he swears. His nose is bleeding. I grab her throat in my hands and purge her with all my might.

- Rule number two, no relaxation is allowed I add clenched teeth.

He has no trouble getting rid of my attack. He grabs my wrists and pushes them aside. No matter how much I force it wins the margin. I roar, it's not possible, it's not possible. Does he take dietary supplements? He slams his face into my head and I hear my nose crack.

He really has no pity for me and I'm happy about that, he doesn't let me win but I don't lose faith. He punches me in the head but I intercept him. I bend her arm and twist it to her shoulder. I force his face against my desk and he lets out a gasp of pain.

- Rule number three: here, it is the women who lead the dance.

His jaw is crippled, he trembles under the pain. If he moves, I dislocate his shoulder.

- Ok, Ella, it's good you won, stop! I promise you I'll keep my mouth shut from now on.

- Promise? I ask with a sadistic smile.

- Promise! Damn your thing hurts like hell.

I smile and finally release him. I turn my face back to my desk and check that we haven't broken anything during our mini battle. My office is in a sorry state, there are files everywhere and I don't even dare to imagine the terrible noise during our mini fight.

Suddenly, I feel two arms around my waist, my gaze goes down to Tyler who has his knees bent: he is attacking my legs. I lose my balance and he picks me up easily. He pushes me against the table in my office. I feel the back of my head bang against the flat table.

I let out a moan as it hurts, the contact between my body and the table has created an appallingly dull noise. Tyler climbs onto the desk and grabs my arms and legs.

— Rule number four Ella: Never announce the end of the fight until the referee blows his whistle.

My blood boils, he was clever, he caught me in my own trap, he played me and it's terribly humiliating. My eyes quickly move up to his. His gray pupils sparkle, he seems proud and happy to inflict such pain on me, such defeat. He gauges me, I know I'm weak at the precise moment.

I then realize the position in which we find ourselves. I'm lying on my desk, he's on all fours above me, his face not far from mine. I feel demonic heat destroying my stomach. His hand brushes my pelvis, I feel my body react, I feel disappointed that his hand does not land there.

What's got into me?

I'm not afraid of his touch, I even want to.

I see that he also noticed this sudden proximity of our two bodies. He details mine carefully, even more my chest that he crushes with his weight. His eyes run all over me, I don't know how to react to this situation. Never has a fight game of mine been so... confusing.

I'm scared, I don't understand what's happening to me, it's a man and a devastating tension takes us. He holds me back because to win his game, he has to make me stay in this position for a minimum of ten seconds and I don't do anything to stop him.

I feel his warm breath lodge near my neck, my body shudders, he feels it and analyzes it for a long time.

I don't know what we are doing, we are no longer fighting against each other, but against our reciprocal bodies, against our desires.

He's probably right, I'm just missing out. After almost five years without sex, it goes without saying that I am. I hear him gulping, he finally plunges his gaze towards mine. It's electric. I can not discern if it is envy that reigns in his eyes, or fear of this sudden desire.

"Tyler...

I try to push him away with words, but I feel my mind go. I don't have the strength to push him away. His touch is as hot as it is pleasant.

I feel hesitant, he doesn't know what to do either, our two colliding bodies seem to want to explode.

"Boss, we have a new com...

My door opens and Eva's silhouette emerges. His gaze travels between Tyler and myself.

My partner hastens to step back. He doesn't seem embarrassed but rather hot, I understand, I feel like I'm sweating.

- What were you doing ? asks my colleague.

- Nothing very interesting. I wanted to test my new student, test his motor skills and his reflexes.

"And how am I doing?"

- With a zero point. You still don't understand, we don't attack women here. Get out of here.

He gives me one of his biggest smiles. He knows he passed his test, and to perfection. He even managed to keep me in a weak position for more than five seconds. He was strong, attentive and cared for. His progress amazes me. But that, I would never tell him.

There is nothing worse than telling one of your colleagues that they have done a good job, they will rest on their laurels and never try to do better.

Seeing that Eva is very insistent I ask Tyler out. He winks at me before walking away.

My colleague locks the room and glares at me.

"What was that, Ella?"

- What are you talking about?

- This side ! You and Mr Leicester on this table, wearing that look that means rape my mouth before I do.

- You talk bullshit, I hasten to respond by bypassing my office.

"You know I'm not one to ask questions, but here... On your desk? Do you want to get yourself killed?"

I frown and settle into my chair calmly. My back hurts a little.

- Eh ? I don't know what you're thinking but we were just fighting.

"Excuse me for not believing you. You stared at him. Don't tell me you...?

I grab the file she brought me and consult it attentively, mimicking my greatest control over the situation.

"What?" I told you we were just fighting.

“If I hadn't intervened, I'm not sure you would have stopped at that. If you need to satisfy your desires you know there are quite a few bars, escortboys will be...

I slap my hand against the table and she sits up immediately.

"Are you going to close it?" I am not interested. I'm fine the way I am.

Sometimes Eva tries to act like she's my older sister and I hate it. She takes herself for the one she is not. She is my friend before being my colleague but not my sister. Certainly my proximity to Mr. Leicester can be suspicious, but it was a small flaw in my mind, it goes without saying that even if she had not intervened, I would pull myself together.

Either way, you never make the same mistake again.