4

“Why did they not just kill her? She’s a high-value target, isn’t she?” Daniel paced.

Vincenz watched as his friend worked through the problem. A problem he and Julian had discussed with Dr. Pesch just a few days earlier. Back then Ravena had agreed to table the issue, but it had to be discussed and Vincenz knew it couldn’t be avoided any longer.

“They had her for almost a year. Why did they take her to start with?”

“All we know is that she was taken from the program she was granted to work with. Several others were also taken that day.”

They’d been discussing Hannah for the last several minutes and it made him defensive. He knew they’d have to question her about her time in that cell, but she was fragile. Just barely making it through each hour; the idea of pushing her recovery back even further to debrief her was untenable. But he knew it had to be done.

“What does she say about it?” Ellis asked.

“She still can’t keep her time straight. She has a difficult time speaking and keeping track of her thoughts. When she’s alone she talks to herself. For hours. She retreats to a corner and wraps one of Julian’s shirts around herself. This happens less the longer she’s with us, but she’s not ready to be debriefed.” Vincenz wanted to make that totally clear. “She’s barely holding on. To push her to relive her time there, right now, could be detrimental to her overall health.”

Ellis nodded, a shadow crossing his features. “It is not my intention to harm the woman, Operative Cuomo.”

“But the fact is, we need the information. She’s been with you a week already.” Daniel tapped his pen against the table. “They took her for a reason. They kept her alive for a reason and if they just wanted to torture someone to experiment on them, why not do it in their own territory where it’s safer? They chose her for a reason, and there’s no getting around the fact that the why of it could very well be integral to what we’re doing.”

“Dr. Hal Pesch would like to address our group. He’s the person who’s been working with Hannah. He’s got level four clearance and I ran him again earlier today.” Vincenz shifted, hoping they’d let Hal speak. He’d be a powerful advocate for Hannah, and she needed all the help she could get.

“Yes, yes.” Daniel looked over the data on his comm to verify this information. “Patch him in.”

In short order, Pesch’s face was on a screen at the conference table in Ravena. Pesch was an unassuming person. He wasn’t too anything. Just the right height, average weight. His voice was calm and measured. Vincenz liked the man a great deal, especially after he’d observed just how patient and kind he’d been with Hannah.

“Dr. Pesch, I’m Daniel Haws. Tell me, when can we expect to debrief Ms. Black? We helped her escape and certainly have no plans to do her any further injury. But we need to know what she knows.”

“Hannah Black is suffering not uncommon results of having been held without any other human contact for months on end. She’s exemplary on many levels. Many others in her place would not have survived. Not without having lost their minds. She needs time to get better. Time to process. Time to figure out her own internal clock, which is damaged. She’s sleeping a lot, which is also common. Her kidneys are damaged, but that can be fixed.”

“How much time? If you’ll forgive my impatience, there’s a war on. I need what’s in her head.”

Pesch paused for long moments. “There’s an experimental treatment.”

Vincenz knew he was shaking his head vehemently. No fucking way was anyone going to experiment on Hannah ever again.

“Tell me about it.” Daniel looked to the hologram that was Vincenz, sitting in a room across the Universe while his body was back in Mirage. “Get over it, Vincenz. Everyone has to make sacrifices. Including Hannah.”

The words he held back were bitter. But it was his job to shut his mouth just then and so he did. But there was simply no way at all he’d let them use any treatments on her without her complete and total acceptance. Period. She was in Mirage, halfway across the Known Universes. In his house where she would continue to be safe.

“I don’t know if I agree with that, Operative Haws. This young woman has been held captive, abused, tortured, beaten and starved already. That’s not enough for you?” Dr. Pesch cocked his head and Vincenz wanted to hug him. “If this is to be what she experienced in that lab under the hands of the Imperium and you’d wish me to replicate that, I’m going to have to refuse. That woman has done her part and more. If you’d like to hear about this treatment and if she decides of her own free will to undertake it, I’m happy to do so. If she refuses, well, I took an oath when I became a medical doctor. I will not participate in any experiments or treatment that is given against the will of, or that would be a detriment to, any of my patients.”

Daniel sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face. “Tell me about the treatment, Doctor. I have no plans to experiment on this young woman for my pleasure. But people are dying every single day and it’s my job to stop it.”

“What Ms. Black has suffered has physical consequences. Obviously. She has some impaired kidney function as I mentioned. I’ve already begun treatment for that and I expect in a month or two she’ll be recovered. Dehydration, which again, has been treated. Other problems like poorly healed wounds.” He shrugged. “She’ll have scars for the rest of her life though she won’t be physically impaired by them.

“But she’s also suffering from mental and emotional damage. Studies on long-term isolation are one of the many reasons we don’t use solitary confinement in our corrections systems except in the very worst cases. To be blunt, her brain has suffered some damage and that’s not as easy to treat. Not quickly.”

Vincenz wanted to look over toward her room to assure himself she was all right, but the holo meant he couldn’t. He trusted Julian and the doctor would do that if she awakened.

“She’s … for lack of a better word, she’s broken. Neural pathways are disrupted. She’s angry. Resentful. Fearful. Worried she’ll be sent off to a Federation facility and away from this small place of solace she’s found. This is the sort of thing I’d treat with a combination of chemical adjustment and talk therapy. Over a long time. The brain is amazing. We discover new data all the time, even after all our history. So over weeks, months and years, she’ll be all right again, though I doubt she’ll ever be totally free of the shadows of what she’s experienced.”

Ellis made the scariest, angriest sound Vincenz had ever heard from the man. Who was already pretty scary. “I promise you, Vincenz, we will help this woman. It is not my aim nor the aim of the Federated Universes to perpetrate more harm. We will make those who did this to her, and to tens of thousands of others they’ve harmed and killed, pay. But we don’t have months and years.”

“This therapy works specifically on brain tissue and brain chemistry. The treatment is given daily in multiple segments. With Hannah, I’d suggest three times a day. Each will work to speed the healing of the damage to her neural pathways. It won’t cure her. But it should ratchet back the worst of her symptoms. Her time issues should smooth out. Speech centers of the brain will also be affected and if it works correctly, while not totally healed, it should enable her to be debriefed. Give me three sessions a day for this next week and I think we can move her forward several months. Enough that she can do daily tasks without panic attacks and sleep regularly.”

“You said it was experimental. Why?” Daniel asked.

“It’s not fully accredited and approved by the Federation Medical Consortium. It hasn’t been tested long-term. In some very rare cases it has caused irreparable brain damage. In all fairness, that was in the very beginning. And I hasten to add I’ve administered this treatment four times now and have never had any negative results. I’m one of the doctors who pioneered this treatment and I believe in it. Not for all cases, certainly. But this is not a usual scenario.”

Vincenz had been in meetings all day. She’d done her very best to stay in the background and not make any noise or distractions for him. Though the doctor had brought a calendar in and she could see it had only been ten days since she’d arrived, she missed Vincenz if she didn’t see him.

He had taken to working at the table just outside her room. It had soothed her fear of being left alone while letting her also be away from all the noise and chaos of the main parts of the house.

Sometimes it had felt as if she were wading back into a real life. Dipping her toe in and letting herself get used to it again.

Julian was out training people or doing something similar. He didn’t say a whole lot but always made an effort for her. He was intense and hard, but smiled at her. His smile lit his eyes and softened the sadness lining his face. She liked him and wondered just what put the pain in his features. It felt safe when he was around.

“I thought I’d bring this in here.” Vincenz poked his head into the room after knocking. He gave her a look as he carried a soft, comfortable-looking chair over and placed it in front of the window.

She’d been in the corner. She knew it was bad. Knew it was silly and made her look crazy, but it seemed to be something she did automatically.

He held a hand out. “No need to hide in the corner, beautiful Hannah. I brought you a chair so you could sit in the sunlight. Dr. Pesch says it’s good for you.”

She took his hand and allowed him to help her to her feet. “I’m sorry.”

Vincenz shook his head and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Don’t apologize. I don’t want you to feel bad. I just want you to feel safe enough not to huddle in the corner. No one can hurt you in this house. You know that, right?”

What she knew and what she felt weren’t always in accord.

“Now I’m the one who’s sorry.” He gathered her to his body and hugged her. Just the way she needed and hadn’t even known it. She burrowed into his chest, breathing him in.

“Would you like to break for some food?” He held her back and looked into her face, taking careful notes. She was tired of careful notes. “Julian is free and we thought we could all eat together and talk a little. Dr. Pesch is also here.”

She didn’t hate the kind-eyed doctor. But she didn’t like being poked and prodded either. She had no need of doctors just then. She’d spent all her time and energy just not going crazy. Had used up all her skills and knowledge to do so and she was … tired.

“I know you’re wary of him. He’s a good man. There’s no way Julian and I would trust him with you otherwise.”

She shook her head and made the extra effort to shepherd her words into the right order. “Not that. Let’s eat.” She didn’t want to talk about it.

“First tell me if you’re all right with where I’ve placed your chair.” He winked and she smiled at his cheek.

He’d put it just exactly where she wanted it. It was in her favorite spot. Just outside that window was a small garden, enclosed by the high walls surrounding the compound where the house was. She’d begun to yearn for that garden. Sometimes she’d lay on her bed and look out at it, imagining herself out there, her hands in the dirt.

As for the chair? Her chair? Not as secure as having your back to the wall, but all things considered, it might be a place to perch. The afternoon in the sunshine seemed a very nice thing indeed. “Yes.” She swallowed. “Thank you.”

“Come on then, let’s get you eating.”

In the dining area, Julian had put out a colorful spread for the late afternoon meal. He saw her and lost the look of concentration he’d been wearing. Instead he grinned and moved to her, bringing her into a tight hug. She hummed, happy, hugging him back.

“It’s our lovely Hannah.” He kissed her forehead and pulled her chair out. “Sit.”

Dr. Pesch sat across from her. She nodded her hello.

Once they’d all gotten seated and plates had been filled, she realized it wasn’t just that Dr. Pesch happened to be there but that he had something to say. It agitated her that they hadn’t just told her up front.

And she said so. Licking her lips and grasping her words tightly. “I am not feeble. If you have something to say …” She looked down and the brush of hair against her cheeks helped. “You should tell me that.”

Julian took her hand, entangling his fingers with hers. “So fierce. We’re not trying to be sneaky. It was time to eat and we wanted to talk with you about something. No harm in doing both at once.”

“Tell me.” After squeezing Julian’s hand she managed to swallow past her fear and anger to take a few bites. It seemed like all she’d done since she’d arrived in Mirage was to eat and sleep.

“We’re at war. I know you have heard part of what’s going on.” Vincenz helped himself to another spoonful of roasted vegetables, putting more on her plate too.

She had known something was wrong. Clearly soldiers didn’t just show up in a lab with helicopters on the roof, start a firefight and blow the place up on leaving. But she hadn’t known it was war.

“And you need something from me.” Fear ate at her. But for them, she’d get through.

“Yes.”

Dr. Pesch broke in. “You’ll heal. Over time the emotional upheaval you’re drowning in will ease. You’ll remember how to react to non-emergency situations in appropriate ways.”

“Will the anger ever stop?”

Vincenz’s mouth hardened.

Dr. Pesch sighed, sorrow threaded through the noise. “It’s healthy to be angry, Hannah. What they did to you was outrageous. If you weren’t angry, I’d be worried. But it will lessen, yes. Over time.”

Her thoughts were so scattered, it took an immense amount of will to force herself to stay cogent.

“Time you don’t have.”

He nodded. “There’s a new treatment for people who’ve been through harrowing ordeals like the one you experienced. You understand of course that the physical damage is one thing, but the emotional and mental toll is harder to address. It takes time and counseling. This treatment speeds some of that process.”

“Invasive?” Her hands shook so she put them in her lap and made fists.

“It would be three times daily. You’ll be unconscious when treated.”

“D-drugged?” Her heart beat so fast she was sure her skin throbbed in time.

“Sedated. So your brain waves are where we need them for the treatment to work. There’s a small cap fitted to your head. Tiny electrical nodes that would be attached to monitor your physical situation.”

“They had you for almost a year, Hannah.” Julian moved his chair closer and took one of her fists, slowly unfurling her fingers to kiss her palm. He … disarmed her. So gruff all the time and yet when he turned his focus on her all that dropped away. He touched her like she was precious and that helped her listen. “They didn’t kill you. If you were a prisoner, they’d have made to trade you or they’d have killed you. We need to know why they kept you alive.”

Didn’t they think she’d wondered that too? Had wondered if her life had come at some expense she didn’t understand? “I don’t know anything!” The rage boiled up and through her system. They’d kept her and hurt her over and over for no reason she could understand. “I studied viruses. I wasn’t political at the foundation. Do you think I’d betray my Universe?”

The words shot from her mouth like bullets.

Julian’s worried look faded a little. “I think that’s the most you’ve said since Vincenz brought you home.” He winked and she laughed. Just a gritty huff of sound, but it felt so very good to do.

“Even better, a laugh. No, we don’t think you betrayed us. If you had, they’d have let you go, not kept you penned. But we need to question you about what they did to you and why they might have done it. And you are not in any shape to answer those questions much less dwell too deeply on what happened in that cell.”

“We need to know what you know. You may not even know what it is. We have methods to help people go through these sorts of events. I’m trained to help you find what you may not know. But there is simply no way Julian and I would agree to such a debrief right now. Even if you could withstand it.”

“And you couldn’t.” Dr. Pesch interrupted. “The kind of trauma you’ve endured is quite simply, more than most people could have survived with their sanity intact.”

“Who says it is?” She rubbed her free hand over her face, leaving her hair there for long moments. Julian kept her other hand in his.

“You’re the sanest person I know.” Julian brushed a kiss over her cheek and she laughed again.

“You must not know a lot of people.”

Vincenz tutted and waved that away.

Dr. Pesch spoke again. “This will help you. It won’t cure you. But it’ll get you to a place where you don’t pass out from fear every time you see my instruments. I’d be the one to do the treatments, though Julian and Vincenz have both volunteered to learn how to administer the treatments as well.”

Could she do it if they were with her?

“Tell her why it’s experimental.” Vincenz had wariness in his voice, and a little anger. She was glad he asked and more than a little curious as to why he responded that way.

The doctor told her about the newness of the process and the lack of long-term studies. He told her it might result in irreversible damage to brain tissue.

“I want to emphasize the rare part. The longer we do this, the better we get at it. I’m good at what I do, Hannah. Let me help you. Let me help you help us all.”

She understood. Better than they thought she did. “I don’t need a … guarantee. I know how this works.” Her brain. Well, her brain had always been her strongest asset. If she damaged it …

“There is a chance that the treatment won’t help at all. Though I’ve never had that result with a patient. In the end it’ll take longer to heal with more aggressive medication to normalize.” He shrugged. “I wouldn’t be recommending this if I thought that would be the case. This is extreme. Much as your situation was extreme. But all my patients and those treated elsewhere have had forward momentum. Even if it was very small. You’re a doctor; you know how this all works. I can’t cure you with this treatment. But I can help you find a way to process what happened. And I can help you get to a place where you can help your fellow Federated Universes citizens by being debriefed.”

“What do you think?” she asked Julian.

He grimaced and it made her feel better that he wasn’t so superhuman he could hide his emotions in every situation. “I think it bothers me that you’d be manipulated into an experimental brain treatment by using patriotism. I don’t like what happened to you.”

“Do you think I should do it?”

“I think you should do it only if you want to. I believe Dr. Pesch is a good doctor, good at what he does, and I think if you plan to go ahead, he’s the guy to go ahead with.”

She narrowed her eyes, frustrated. Turning to Vincenz, she caught him watching her and Julian. “What do you think? And don’t say only if I want to.”

Vincenz laughed and he and Julian shared some private, intimate thing, and yet she felt part of it, not apart. “I don’t like the experimental thing. You’re a brilliant woman with a history of doing things that have helped others. I hate the idea that you stand a chance to lose that ability in the future.”

She pushed from her chair and moved to the sink, looking out the window.

“You don’t have to make the decision right now.”

She turned slowly. “I appreciate that, Vincenz, but we know that’s not true. This is rush-rush and my brain is broken. Too broken to be pok—” She wrestled back a sob and hated that weakness. “I’ll do it. Let’s get started so we can be done.”

Her hands shook and all she wanted to do was be well enough to be alone so she could cry in peace.

“I know you’re scared.” Julian stood and moved to her. He slid his palms from her shoulders down her arms, holding her hips. “And I can’t tell you not to be. I’d be scared too. But you’re not broken. And you’re brave. So very brave.”

He hugged her, and she knew she got the front of his shirt wet from all the tears, but she couldn’t help it. Momentarily, Vincenz was there, hugging her from the side. “We’ll be with you. Every step of the way.”