Chapter 9

The next morning, I sat at the island top, swirling my spoon in the bowl of cereal Maria had placed in front of me. I had refused to eat when she and Ben were eating and even now, my appetite was almost non-existent. She had tried to use the motherly tone she always used, but then I felt there was no need to give in. She left me alone but eventually dragged me downstairs and gave me cereal.

She and Ben had begged me to tell them what I had dreamt about. When I had first gotten here, I frequently had nightmares about Xander. Most of my nights were spent cuddling against Maria and not being able to fall asleep again. I even went as far as not sleeping at all on some nights. I was a walking mess and I distracted myself from everything by reading and drinking impossible amounts of coffee, which was saying something since werewolves were 10x more resistant to coffee. Ben had found out what was going on and stopped buying coffee. He had me put in therapy and made sure every coffee house or restaurant or neighbour, didn't give me coffee.

The therapy lasted for more than a year and it was shortly after that, that I had started dancing ballet. The therapist knew everything I had gone through, although I had to twist the details and instead of telling her about the pack and werewolf existence, I told her about how I lived with a large family and how I was treated. I also cut out the very very gory parts. I don't know how but I made it appear like domestic abuse. My mind knew it was anything but.

My nightmares were linked to Xander and I had never gotten around to telling my adoptive parents about him and the way he treated me. It was too scary and too much to burden on the minds of clean souls like theirs. It was a tough time and it was a miracle when everything started to feel normal. Normal and safe. Well, up until last night.

"Damn." I heard and looked to find Astelle and Cassie stood at the doorway "You look like shit."

I chose to ignore Astelle's comment because it was true. There was no denying it. I had avoided looking at myself in the mirror since I got out of bed. They both came towards me, looking as worried as they felt I presume.

"What happened honey?" Cassie asked, placing her palms on my face. I didn't avoid her gaze as I would usually do. I wanted to prove that I was okay.

"Nothing much. Bad dream, I couldn't bring myself to sleep again. I feel as bad as I look." I replied, turning my face away and sighing "And I'm sure as hell not hungry."

"Nonsense! You have to fill that tumtum of yours." Astelle scolded, coming towards me and looking at my bowl before scowling "A bowl of Rice Krispies? Seriously?! You're gonna be using a lot of energy on stage tonight and telling me you don't have an appetite isn't going to cut it. I'm going to fix you a hearty breakfast."

With that, she began moving around the kitchen, the tiles under her feet crying with every step she made. She was never a person who took walking as a serious job. She loved being sluggish and sloppy and most importantly, very noisy. Cassie sat next to me, rubbing her hands together in anticipation.

"Make that for two please." Cassie chirped, making me smile a little bit

"I'll make for 5, considering the fact that Ava eats like she's feeding a whole army when she wants to fill her stomach." Astelle grumbled

"Hey!" I protested "I do not eat like that. I just have a lot of needs!"

She eyed me with a look that just made me to suddenly burst out laughing.

"Only Lord knows where all that food goes." she grumbled

"I smell something in the air." Cassie suddenly said and I turned to her, sniffing. I didn't smell anything.

"What? What can you smell?" I asked at the same time Astelle did

"Oh, you can't smell it Ava?" Cassie asked, looking just as astounded as she sounded

Was she going mad?

I kept all my thoughts of her sanity inside, as she wrapped her arm around me. I cocked a brow in confusion and glanced at Astelle. She was steadily picking up a frying pan.

"Uhhhh, no Cassie. I can't." she grinned wickedly

"That my dear, is the smell of a steady green monster." she finally said

Before I knew it, Astelle and Cassie were wrestling on the floor, with Astelle yelling about how she's not jealous and Cassie laughing her ass off, not even the slightest bit bothered that she was being attacked by a woman 15 years her junior. I blinked rapidly. They always knew how to make me feel better without trying. My deadly thoughts were put to an utter end.

'We asked the Moon goddess to give us normal friends and this is what we get?' Keira asked, her tone one of disappointment

I began to laugh. It seemed that they had helped to get Keira out of the mood she was in as well. She had been moping around, silent as ever and even when I had asked her so many questions, she chose to remain as zoned out like me. I couldn't blame her at all.

'Oh please, you know you love them just as much as I do.'

'Ehemm, excuse you! I only hang around these bozos because they make us look cool.'

'Typical Denial Keira, typical de-ni-alllllllll.' I sang in my head and focused my attention on my two close friends

Watching them did actually make me to work up an appetite, so I hurriedly slurped the rest of my cereal and stood up to actually make myself something that was worth being called breakfast.

"Hey!" I shouted, effectively getting their attention "You guys interested in spaghetti and sausages?"

They yelled their approval and I shooed them to the living room so I could work in peace and not have to worry about anyone spilling my sauce. Within a span of fewer than 30 mins, I was myself again and I decided to make sure the people who caused my happiness knew I was very grateful.

..............

"Your food is always the shit!" Astelle groaned

"I would tell you off for using that word and food in the same sentence..." Cassie started, humming lightly "But you're right. Ava, this food is awesome. How did you know I liked my sausages crispy and brown?"

I giggled as I watched them eat, munching on the 3rd plate of my freshly prepared spag and sausages. Alright, it was true that I loved food. But I never knew I did until I started eating properly and as a werewolf, I required even more than a normal human would. So yes, I ate like I had a vortex in my stomach but honestly, could you blame me?

"Don't eat like that Astelle, your airways will get clogged." I turned to see Maria walking into the kitchen with a hand full of groceries and a bag that I recognized was from the tailoring house that she worked

"If I die,it would be because Ava gave me good food. That would be extra awesome. 'Death by good food'." Astelle's exaggeration had Cassie and Maria laughing and me rolling my eyes

"You will die if you don't learn how to close your mouth while chewing you piggish thing." I mumbled and in reply, she flashed me a tongue full of already chewed food. Disgusting.

Maria came and stood next to me, patting down my rabid hair. She gave me a soft smile, her blue eyes shining bright as they gazed down at me. I smiled at her too, knowing that she had been extra worried earlier and that even now, her heart held questions she knew I wouldn't answer.

"How're you feeling dear?" she asked

"Much better." I answered "As you can see, I was softly pressured into cooking by these two hungry women."

"Never say no to Ava's cooking." Cassie whispered seriously, but I was able to hear it along with Astelle's mumbles of how Cassie was slowly going mad

I couldn't hold in my giggles and Maria shook her head, probably wondering why these were the kind of people I chose to keep in my life.

"Wanna plate?" I asked

Maria shrugged "Why not? I've been busy all day and I wasn't able to eat much earlier."

I dished out a serving of spaghetti and two sausages, with a cup of her favourite apple-flavoured juice and sat down next to her to continue eating.

"This is actually very lovely dear." Maria commented, the result; my heart warming up the way it always did when I was always complimented by her

"I learnt from the best." I said blowing her a kiss

According to the frying pan clock on the wall, it was 15 minutes to twelve and we chatted away. It was like a mini girl's get together and after we ate, we lounged in the living room, going through the latest gist in Lansing.

"Honestly, I feel like she could have just had the baby rather than getting an abortion. Her poor mother was so horrified." Maria cried and Astelle nodded vigorously in agreement

"That was one surprise no one was ready for. If I was her momma, I'd bite her ear off." Cassie said

Gossip was one thing that fueled the long-lasting relationship amongst us all. I was never much of the talker though. I was more of the listener who craved the indulgence of other people's words and actions.

"Speaking of surprises..." Maria looked at me as she spoke and the light in her eyes seemed blinding all of a sudden "I have something to show you Ava."

She stood up from where she sat and moved to where her many bags sat. She pulled up a bright orange paper bag and I flinched. I had never been one to like very bright colours. Honestly, the only colour orange I liked was on my head. Sue me, I loved myself.

"It took a while but I was finally able to finish it up. I know you don't really like every colour because of your already striking features." Maria said and pulled out the most beautiful thing I had ever seen

I couldn't bring myself to say words. Tears filled my eyes and with the dress in hand, I pulled Maria in for a tight hug.

"I love it. I love it so much Maria. Thank you!" I said excitedly

She hugged me back and that was how I found myself in a group hug, engulfed by warmth and love and smells of different scents, their bath gels all different, but still appealing to my inner mind. Astelle being the drama queen that she is started to bawl like a child after that, crying about how I was growing up and how it was just like yesterday that she pushed me into her brother's wedding cake.

Ben came home after a while. Everyone wanted to be there to take me to the Des Moines Civic Center and despite my protests for them to continue on with their normal daily lives, they all agreed that it was best to load ourselves into a car and have me inhale a whole lotta sweat and ear-piercing laughs and jokes. It was exactly 1:45 pm that we left and the road trip was for 4hours. I didn't complain however and I endured the babbling, also enjoying how Astelle fell asleep on Cassie, drooling and all.

'I wonder what's making you so happy' Keira mumbled

'It's not every day you get to see the suffering of your close friends manifest before your eyes.' I replied

'You see it every day!'

I chose to ignore her and just continued to watch the passing scenery. I had never been anywhere outside Lansing, because I was scared of what was out there and I was scared that if I made the wrong move, I would fall into another pack's hands or even worse; Xander's.

It didn't take long for all the trees and little sightings of small towns to turn to trimmed bushes and highrise buildings. I was practically plastered against the window, trying to catch a glimpse of everything. It was so new and so exciting and the feeling of nostalgia was more than enough to make me go numb. Maria turned to look at me from the passenger seat.

"Welcome to Des Moines sweetie." she said, smiling, most definitely at my awestruck expression

A phone suddenly started ringing in the car, making Astelle and Cassie jump awake. The three of us frantically began to look for the phone, Ben didn't even bother to show any concern, only laughing at our activities. Maria also searched through her purse and small bags in front.

"Found it!" I said, plucking the phone which happened to be Cassie's from under the car seat. I passed it to her without hesitation

"Hello?" she answered groggily, but her voice adjusting with her next sentence "OH SMITHY DEAR!.....Of course we didn't forget, we're already in Des Moines, still on the road though but I bet we'll soon pull up.....no, the show starts at 10:30, the orchestra has already taken down the song she's performing to.......You oaf, we'll meet there and you can touch her hair all you want."

Ben pulled up in front of an apartment building not too long after she cut the call. And stood in front was Freddie and Donovan, as well as Smith. I hurriedly got out of the car and went to hug them.

"Hey short cake." Donovan said, kissing my hair then passing me to Freddie

"What's up beautiful." Freddie said

"I've missed you two so much." I said, almost close to crying

Freddie pulled away from me and stroked my cheeks. He smiled at me and laughed a little.

"We've missed you too stranger."

I pinched him then moved on to hug Smith, who didn't hesitate to try and suffocate me.

"AYYYYEE! My baby girl, I'm so happy to see you." Smith squealed

I laughed. Smith Gonzales was a professional make-up artist and hairstylist who had worked with Astelle's sister-in-law during her wedding. He was a nice person of Spanish origin and was attracted to everything bright, that included my hair. We had been friends for about 3 years, but we rarely saw because he was always busy travelling for his work.

"Thank you so much for doing this Smith." I said

"No problem sweet thang, you know I would never resist coming back just to get my hands on your hair." he said, clapping his hands like a little girl

Did i forget to mention that he was gay?

"Just to let you know, I brought everything earthy and shit, just to make sure your hair doesn't lose its life to some suckish hair products." he said, gesturing to the big box in front of the door.

I nodded, already excited to see what he had in store for me. After everyone exchanged their hugs and greetings, we all moved through the lobby of the apartment building with luggage in hand. I had to resist the urge to look around and pay attention to the chitter-chatter that went on around me. Freddie and Donovan lived at almost the top floor of the building. Everyone seemed more than ecstatic about this evening's show, whilst I was intrigued by almost every decor I came across. Even my reflection in the elevator rendered me speechless. Prim, proper and shiny was definitely an understatement when it came to a place like this. I had never felt so out of place in so many years.

By the time we got to the apartment, my feeling of anxiety and insecurity increased further. I knew for a fact that whoever had been in charge of decorating the apartment, had consulted Donovan and Freddie before doing anything. Most of the furniture, the lights, down to the art on the walls; everything screamed masculinity, homeliness and technology. It was a good mesh of black, white, grey with a few vibrant artworks. There were lava lamps and some other techy stuff here and there that made it the ultimate bachelor pad; not too much but just enough.

"Welcome to our humble abode." Freddie said dramatically, dumping the bags he was carrying in the living room "We didn't have time to really get here cleaned up but we wanted you to have the very best and made the arrangements. Dad and mum, you'll be sharing one room, it's ensuite so you'll have your own bathroom. I'll show you the way so you'll get well-rested."

"Well-rested? Oh no no, I have to start cooking up for everyone. Did you buy all the groceries I asked you to? Where's the damn kitchen?" Maria started to question, wandering off deeper into what I assumed is the kitchen

Freddie heaved a long sigh and ran his hand through his hair before following her. Smiling, I signalled for him to follow her before she changed up the whole kitchen and left it the way she wanted and not the way Freddie and Donovan left it. He nodded once before following after her.

"Well that leaves us. Come on Donny, show your old man where he can crash. I need to rest before my knew starts getting worked up." Ben said. He too didn't wait and just started walking towards the hallway.

"I better get him settled in first. You guys make yourselves comfortable and watch TV or something. Smith, you can set up your stuff on the work table at the corner. The lighting is better and there's enough space for Astelle to work there as well." Donovan said "I'll come get you when I've gotten dad settled in."

No one waited to be told twice before crashing on the couches that looked more expensive than anything I owned combined. I waited however and followed him as he went into the hallway. I wanted to see more of the place and to be honest, I was more tired than I thought I'd be. I wanted to rest.

"You know.." Don began, tilting his head to look back at me as we walked "..you haven't said a word since we got here. I'm starting to think..." he paused at a room door, opening the door fully before looking back at me "...that you don't like it here."

I snorted in an unladylike way and walked through the open door ahead of him. I noticed immediately that this wasn't where Ben was, but an empty room that looked similar to my room back home. I knew it was mine.

"Aren't you supposed to be helping Ben?" I asked instead of answering him, sitting on the bed. He had closed the door behind him

"Yes, but you're the star of the show tonight. I have to make sure you're comfy and relaxing those magic feet" He said

A small smile made its way to my face. Leave it to Donovan to be as considerate as always. He sat next to me on the bed and circled an arm around my shoulder. I instinctively leaned in.

"I also noticed you've been on edge." he whispered, making my shoulders tense. He had always been the one to notice those kinds of details, unlike Fred.

I blew out a sigh and felt the wave of everything that had happened since last night wash over me like a cold bucket of water. It made me shiver in the otherwise warm room and shrink more into Donovan's side. I was worried, so worried that wasn't right. I was anxious about tonight and there were was a part of me that knew something big was coming. It was only worse because I didn't know what it was. Deep down, I knew I couldn't and didn't want to handle it.

"Donny, I'm just worried. What if tonight doesn't go well?" I started, my voice small, yet echoing in the room "I have a gut feeling and I'm not sure where to put my anxiety. It's killing me."

I wasn't sure I made any sense. Even listening to my own voice, I began to feel I was worried over nothing. Silence washed over the room and it was a good 10 minutes before he said anything

"Do you know why I've always called you shortcake?" I laughed

"Because I'm short and sweet, just how you love me."

He tugged at my hair and also chuckled as I laughed.

"That's one part of it, yes, but there's always been another reason you've never known."

I gave him a side-eye and watched him pull at my curls. His fingers twirling the red strands.

"What's the other reason? It better not be something dumb."

"What do you take me for Ava?" he snorted "It's quite funny actually, but it's something nice so be quiet."

He smacked my forehead and I grumbled under my breath, but stayed still and waited nonetheless.

"You didn't meet grandma..." he began. It warmed my heart how he didn't use 'my grandma' and said it with such fondness, it made me relax more "...She was a calm woman. The complete opposite of mum. She was so sweet and was the epitome of heaven. Always defending me and Fred when we got into trouble."

Now I wished I had met her, but from what I knew, she had passed a year before I came into the Rosewood's lives.

"Although she was very cute and lovable and so sweet, she was the worst in the kitchen." I burst into laughter as Donovan's laughter rumbled through his chest "It's not funny! It was horrible having to sit through the thanksgiving dinners she made. If not for grandpa, it would have been mass suicide."

"She's rolling in her grave right now Don." I said once my laughter quieted down

"Yeah well, it may be mean, but it's the truth. Now gran always had a sweet tooth and loved to bake. Her favourite pastry to make was..."

"Shortcake!"

"You see, you're getting the hang of it. Now hush and don't interrupt again." He removed his arm from my shoulder and turned to face me. I did the same and sat cross-legged on the bed "The shortcakes were always sweet but they were so hard, you could hardly bite into it. We'd have to soak them in milk for a long time before an ounce of softness even made it's way through."

I laughed again. He lifted his hand and placed his palm on my face, stroking my cheek lovingly.

"You have always reminded me of that shortcake. Sweet but so tough. You've been through a lot Ava, but you're still here. You're still laughing with me. You're still pushing through. The Ava I know doesn't let anything scare her, even when it's 10 fucking times bigger!"

I was at a loss of words and could only smile through the tears that had gathered in my eyes. I leaned forward and hugged him, his arms ready to embrace me as always.

"You are a tough little nugget. I respect and know that. The fear of the unknown should be a mustard seed for you when you are the way you are; when you've got mum, dad, me, Fred and the people who are currently sitting in the living room. These people who are always giddy enough to throw a punch for you if you said the word."

He grasped me by my shoulders, forcing me to sit up and look into his eyes. In them, I saw the emotions I had grown accustomed to; love, sincerity, encouragement.

"Whatever happens tonight Ava, I will be here. Your big brother will be here. Just promise me you won't go down without a fight."

His eyes and face turned serious as his hold tightened.

"Promise me you will always fight for yourself, the way we will always be ready to fight for you."