Chapter 5: Tears on my cheeks

"There are some duties we owe even to those who have wronged us. There is, after all, a limit to redistribution and punishment." - Cicero

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Tsholofelo Mofokeng.

"Hello Tsholo." a familiar voice greeted me. A smile formed on my lips, i was on my way home from Roordeport. This was finally my weekend off away from Ruiter the evil maniac.

"Hey Lesedi." I turned back to see her running after me until she finally caught up to me.

"I missed you." She mumbled as she pulled me into a hug.

"Me too." I frowned at the only person I had ever known as a friend. Lesedi and I grew up together, her mother was a mother figure to me. Whenever she bought anything for Lesedi she bought for me too. Before I started working I would always go to church with them, people would always think I was part of the Khumalo family even though I wasn't. My father couldn't care any less about my where abouts, he was always at the mines with various women out there.

"I have news for you." She grinned as we walked towards the small four roomed house I called home. Searching for the keys carelessly in my ragged bag.

"Yes, I'm listening." I pressed my lips together feeling nervous.

"Mr. Dube said he knows where your father is." She replied and I shuddered, i didn't know if I should feel happy or sad or worried atleast he wasn't dead. Mr. Dube was a man in his late forties, he had worked with my father in the mines in Northwest for over fifteen years.

"Tsholo say something ?" She slumped her shoulders when she realised how this affected me to the bone. I felt my eyes get blurry with watery substance, this was just too much for me.

"Where is he ?" I stuttered as a tear rolled down my cheek but I quickly rubbed it off.

"Oh, I'm sorry Tsholo." She rubbed my shoulder in a comforting manor and I simply shrugged. "Mr. Dube said he is in Limpopo, he is staying with-" she paused as if this was going to hurt me.

"Tell me ?" I gave her an assuring smile but it was weak and we both knew it.

"He- Tsholo he is-" She mumbled.

"Please...just tell me ?" I braced my self for the cold truth.

"Fine." She pressed her lips together. " He is staying with his other family." She let out a sigh and I staggered back a bit. I didn't have energy for this...

Defeated. I sat down on the dusty verander clearly Sam had not been cleaning or was he even home ? In silence with only the sound of crickets around us. I kept quiet, ofcause I always knew my father had cheated but this wasn't what I expected to hear so he had abandoned us ? He did not care ! He didn't ? He never did. I thought I would cry but I couldn't, i felt abandoned and cold. I had nothing to live for...honestly absolutely nothing was holding me back from committing suicide. Life wasn't on my side, all odds were against me.

I finally broke the silence. "Have you seen Sam lately ?" I mumbled.

"No ever since you went for your shift he hasn't came back. Ma had told me to give him food the other night but I knocked and knocked...he wasn't there. I kept on coming until the day before yesterday when I realised he wasn't home." She explained.

"Oh." was the only sound that escaped my lips.

"Don't worry Tsholo." Lesedi said in a comforting voice.

"That's all I ever do." I paused. "Worry about other people."

"You are the best sister and daughter don't ever doubt that."

"I guess." I let out a laugh full of hurt.

"You know what let's talk about something less depressing like how was Roordeport the fancy place ?" She grinned. "If I ever walk on those streets, i will know i have made it in life." in response, i laughed. She always knew how to make me forget.

"Work has been okay and besides I prefer Winchester hills than Roordeport. The houses are literally on mountains." I smiled absent-minded minded. "But we will never live there not in this life." I snapped back to reality.

"There's nothing wrong with dreaming a little." She added. "Like riding the Metrobus.."

"That will never happen, Metrobus is strictly for the Boers." I sighed.

"Tsholo let's just dream for once, no negativity."

"But one of us has to be realistic."

"Okay imagine Ro-" She paused. "What is the name of your rude boss again ?"

"Johan De Ruiter." I said bitterly.

"Okay imagine living in his mansion. Imagine bathing in his bathtub, imagine if that was your house all yours, imagine..." I dosed off because I could already see it.

*Imagination*

"Ruiter go and cut that grass again, until I'm satisfied." I put my sun glasses back on and sipped on my cocktail.

"But but-" He begged.

"Take that scissors and cut the grass Ruiter. You do not want to see me mad." I yelled.

"Yes Ma'am." He took the small scissors as he began cutting the high veld of grass and I knew he wouldn't finish until the next decade. I smiled as I tanned my skin basking on the sun.

"Maam-" He spoke.

"Shut up and do what you are paid to do you know what ? you are not getting this week's wage." I yelled at the poor old man who was sweating and I'm need of water.

"Yes Ma'am." He lowered his head and continued cutting, he struggled cutting with the blunt scissor and I grinned. Suddenly the same greek God with green eyes appeared and looked at me with pity.

"Hope, i really thought you were different." I immediately stopped day dreaming.

Only one person called me Hope and that was the Dutch Greek God, Leonardo Le Roux.

"See imagining isn't so bad is it ?" Lesedi asked and I nodded as I grabbed my keys to get in the house.

"I will see you tomorrow, I'm tired." I bid her farewell. When I opened the door everything was the still the same, i was flabbergasted. What the hell was he doing in my head ?

Oh Leo no no no I mean Sir.