06

#####06

« My mate is alpha Jay Pierce. »

Silence ; complete silence. All the excitement from my cousins face vanishes instantly and is replaced with coldness and hurt. Her eyes are narrowed at me and her breathing is heavy and sharp. I can tell she’s doing her best to keep her wolf at bay but failing miserably as I see her eyes begin to change into a bright golden.

Before her wolf is unleashed, I stop her. « Beta Ash, keep your wolf at bay. » I command in my alpha tone.

Instantly Alana is relaxed and calmed down. She sends me a quick, thankful smile but instantly returns to her angry look, her eyes dark with rage.

« You’re mated with the monster that killed your father ? » Alana snarls. Her face is scowling and I can feel the anger radiate off her. I can’t help but feel bad for her. She lost her uncle and she was very close to him.

« Yeah. » I whisper with my head bowed. Sadness consumes me as I remember some memories with my father.

« Madcat ! » My father shouts in excitement as my seven year old form runs into his open arms.

« Daddy ! » I squeal as he lifts me into his arms and spins me around.

« I’ve missed you ! » My father chuckles while squeezing the life out of me.

« Me too daddy ! » I say as he sets me on my feet. I stare up at my fathers tall frame. His grayish blue eyes pierce into mine and are filled with so much adoration.

« That’s good sweetheart ! I’m sorry daddy goes away a lot, but I truly love you. » My dad says with a small smile.

I giggle and hug his waist before looking up at him through my eyelashes. « Love you too daddy ! »

I can hear a deep sigh come from Alana before arms are wrapped around me. I welcome the warmth she brings and hug her back.

« It’ll be okay Maddi, you’ll be okay. » Alana whispers softly into my ear before breaking apart our hug.

I wish with all my heart that I could believe what she said. I can’t, I never will be okay. Not only did I find the one person I was dreading to find, I find out he’s my fathers murderer.

I stare into Alana’s eyes with no emotion on my face. I’m sure I look completely ruined and broken to her. The sad thing is I am how I look. Broken.

« Maddi don’t push your emotions away. » Alana says sternly. Her eyes are sharp and narrowed at me. She knows what happens when they are turned off ; it’s as if my emotions are a light switch, I have trained myself to turn them off and on. I’ve done it a few times before. The first time was when my father died and the second was when my mother lost herself and the third was when my first pack member died as me being alpha.

« Emotions make you weak, I am not weak. » I say nonchalantly. I allow myself to switch my emotions off and become numb.

« You idiot ! Hiding your emotions make you weak. » She snarls. Alana’s eyes aren’t no longer angry, there sad and helpless. The same eyes I looked into when my father died, the same eyes that I trust.

I raise an eyebrow at her. She never lost her father, she doesn’t know what it’s like to be mated to a killer ; not just any killer but your fathers killer. She has no room to say what’s weak and what isn’t.

« No cousin, you’re wrong. » I say while brushing past her.

I return to my party with a small smile on my face. Although I have shut my emotions off, I can’t let anyone know that. I can’t let anyone get suspicious, I have to be careful. I stop by a few pack members and converse with them. None of them look suspicious which is good. My acting is working.

« Cake cake cake. » A screech from beside me causes me to whip around. In front of me stands an insane looking Rowan who is watching the cake being taken away from the table it was on. I roll my eyes at my gamma.

The party has finally died down and people are returning to their homes and packs. I thank everyone and return to the pack house where my mother is slumped on the table. I know she’s bummed because she thinks I didn’t find my mate. Oh if only she knew.

« Night mother. » I say with a small smile before walking up to my room. I open my door once it reach it and walk in.

My room smells of roses which is something I’ve always been used to. Ever since I was little I’ve smelt of roses. Weird, right ?

I walk to the back of my room to where my window is. I place my forehead against the cool panel before releasing a deep and very shaky breath. My breath creates fog causing the small area where my face is to clog up. I lean back and allow the fog to vanish before I look out my window. The forest is displayed along with the starry sky. The moon is illuminating my room with its powerful brightness. I gaze at the dark forest that now holds my deepest and most darkest secret ; him.

I scowl at the thought of that monster.

Why, why me ? Why him ? Why must I be tortured like this !

My ultimate goal is to kill the ‘killer’, the problem is when ? I can’t predict when this ruthless and very unpredictable make will come seeking me.

I know one thing for sure. While he is off killing innocent lives, I will be sweat and blood to train for his arrival. When he dies arrive he will have a whole new thing coming to him.

You won’t win this battle Jay, I will.

A knock breaks me from my sinister thoughts. I say a faint ‘come in’. The door opens and reveals a smirking Rowan who saunters into my room.

« Hello Madelyn. » Rowan chirps while plopping himself on my bed.

I turn away from my window with one last glance before averting my gaze to Rowan.

« That’s not my name. » I point out while rolling my eyes.

« I know but it suits you. » Rowan says.

I raise an eyebrow at him. « Madelyn is an innocent name. » I state.

« Yeah so, you’re as innocent as they come Maddi cat. » Rowan teases. Sad truth is he is completely right. I have never been kissed nor done the ‘dirty’, I’ve been too busy with leading a pack then to worry about that stuff.

« Well you got that right. » I say with a wink. Rowan looks taken back by my agreement. Over the many years of him teasing me I have come to realize that he does it because to get a rise out of me, so if I stop giving him a rise he will stop teasing. Pretty logical if you ask me.

« Maddison you were supposed to get angry. » Rowan whines. Bingo, I knew it.

« How so ? You were stating the truth. » I say while taking a seat next to him.

Rowan rolls his eyes at me. « No, although it’s true you are supposed to get angry and pout and fire back at me. Your forehead is supposed to crease right in the middle and your supposed to get beet red. I offended your womanhood ! Be mad. »

« Oh Rowan, I wouldn’t be too worried about my womanhood, I’d be worried about yours. » I fire back with a wink.

Rowan’s eyes widen before they narrow. « I don’t have a womanhood Maddi, I am a man. »

« Sure you are. » I snicker.

« I am, I can prove it. » Rowan says with a husky tone.

Now it’s my turn to be shocked. I did not expect that !

‘He’s bluffing !’ My wolf points out.

« Sure you will. » I smirk while watching him turn angrier. Now I understand why he does it to me, it’s funny !

Rowan leans closely to me before whispering in my ears, « I will, don’t test me. »

Rowan pulls back with a smirk. My fave flushes and my heart begins to race quickly.

« Bull. » I say while getting up and walking over to my desk that is a few steps away from my bed. Before I can’t reach it a hand grips my wrist and I’m suddenly backed into a wall.

Rowan begins to grind on me slowly causing heat to spread throughout my face. I feel my inner thighs weaken at the unfamiliar feeling. I let a small moan out as he rubs more firmly.

« Rowan stop. » I breathe out as my head begins to fog up.

« No, you asked for it. » Rowan growls huskily.

My head clears up and I realize what we’re doing. I push him away and glare at him.

« What the fück ! » I screech.

Rowan shakes his head and stares at me with wide eyes and his mouth hanging open.

« I am so sorry Maddi-« before he can finish I cut him off. « Leave Rowan. » I demand in anger.

Rowan looks torn between listening to me or disobeying but he does something right and listens and leaves my room.

What the hëll was that ?

I let it go and walk over to my queen sized bed and let the white duvet swallow me as I close my eyes and allow my dreams to carry me far away from reality.

Sorrows will return when the sky is at its brightest. Be the bravest, be the greatest, but remember you’ll get hated.