0 Celsius: To thaw a frozen heart

Today was a new beginning for me.

The chilly winds of mid December were making me pull on the front of my coat trying to shield myself.

Cars were zooming passed me

And life was going at a normal place here on the busy streets of New York for everyone.

Except for me.

I was still stuck where I was 2 years back

Those eagle eyes still haunt my nights,

Those playful kisses and cuddles at night still re open those only happy times of my life.

I long for all that love

I long for him.

But I know times will never be same again.

I lied, I cheated, I faked back then and even if I have changed now I will still remain as a gold digging bitch for everyone including him.

But today I was here standing in front of the 80 floor high skyscraper called R R Industries building with only one motive.

His forgiveness

I know I don't deserve it.

I know but I need him

His forgiveness will make things better , it will make me hate myself less ,it will soothe the pain in my heart and I was even ready to beg for it if I had to.

As I opened the glass doors bordered with plating of gold my dirty sneakers ruined the shine of creme Italian marble tiles underneath me.

'Just like I ruined his beautiful life with my entrance in his life 3 years back'

I thought.

I looked up to see people wearing expensive formal clothes moving around.

Feeling self conscious and trying not to make an eye contact with anyone

I made my way through them to reach the reception.

A beautiful blonde with blue eyes was there talking to someone on the phone.

She noticed my presence but continued to talk.

After 10 long minutes she finally ended her call and asked me

"How may I help you ma'am?"

Those 10 minutes I thought of various ways I will ask her my question but when she actually asked my mind and tongue lost coordination due to anxiousness.

"I...I.... wanted to ...meet....."

I hate myself!!!

I hate this weak self!!

Earlier I used to be so confident!!

I never used to think what others thought of me, I used to speak my mind even if I had to talk to the prime minister

And now I am the complete opposite.

He made me like this but still truly speaking I am myself the reason for this, my mistakes made me this.

She was looking at me with a look of disgust and irritation

"Ma'am I am busy, if you don't know why you are here just leave

Don't waste my time!"

I tried to answer directly

"Mr Alessandro Romano"

".....I need to meet him"

"Do you have an appointment?"

"No....but he knows me....can you please call him and tell him that I am here?"

She looked at me skeptically not believing that I know him

"Please ma'am .....please!"

She picked up the phone to call

"Your name?"

"Sapphire Brown"

She auto dialled a number and started talking in Italian which I couldn't understand

"Signore, una ragazza di nome zaffiro marrone è qui per incontrarti"

.(SIR A GIRL NAMED SAPPHIRE BROWN IS HERE TO MEET YOU)

.

"si signore"(YES SIR)

.

"Si signore"

.

.

"Ok signore, mi assicurerò che se ne vada"

(OKAY SIR,I'LL MAKE SURE SHE LEAVES)

She placed the phone down

"Sir is extremely busy right now and his schedule is very tight, I am sorry ma'am but you can't meet him today"

"So what about tomorrow? You can book my appointment for tomorrow"

"I am sorry but he is going out of country tomorrow

Please leave ma'am"

I can wait here in the lobby for him

I am sure he will pass through from here sometime.

I turned around and seated myself on the sofa in the waiting area.

Hours passed but no sign of him

Then I saw the receptionist I talked to earlier coming towards me.

"Ma'am I asked you to leave! We don't entertain outsiders without any business here!

So please leave I am asking you politely or else I need to call the guards to escort you out"

"Hey relax! I am leaving on my own!

I will wait somewhere else"

She was furious at me like I stole something from her

Cruel women

I made my way out to be met with freezing winds.

They were not this bad when I came

Seems like a storm is approaching

I sat on the stairs outside the building

I know you must be thinking I am crazy for waiting for so long , first inside and now in this approaching storm.

But some people are just worth waiting for and he is one of them.

Hours passed and I lost track of time

People continued to give me weird looks but I ignored them

Soon sun was down near the horizon ready to shine somewhere else.

I heard many heavy footsteps behind me like a group of people were approaching.

I turned around to see him standing there with 7-8 bodyguards behind him.

The navy blue Armani suit was perfectly fitting his well toned body.

His brown hair was perfectly combed to reach perfection.

And those rarest of rare grey eagle like eyes were focused on his phone.

His aura was no longer friendly and welcoming, Instead I felt dominated and fearful in his presence.

As he made his way towards me my heart started beating rapidly.

As if feeling my stare on him he looked up from his phone and his eyes met mine.

Automatically a smile appeared on my face

This was the first time I genuinely smiled after 2 long years and he was the reason for it.

In contrast to me his face was blank

No emotion was on display and it didn't change on seeing me.

I opened my mouth to speak but stopped when he didn't stop near me.

His guards pushed me aside

"Ma'am please move aside "

As I stood there staring at his broad back with open mouth he sat in his car ready to leave.

I ran towards him but he had already ignited the engine.

As soon as I reached him his car got in motion.

I tapped on his mirror to stop him

To beg for my mistakes but he speeded up.

My tiny legs could not match his pace and soon I found myself being left behind.

My legs were not taking me any faster and were lagging where as my upper body was moving ahead.

It resulted in me landing straight on the rough gravel of the road.

I used my hands to break the fall but I was too late ,my chin already scrapped against the ground and I could feel pain enter my jaw, arms and legs.

I lifted my head up to see his car getting smaller and smaller with each passing second.

Blood flowed from the wound on my chin making a pool of blood on the road.

Teardrops of physical and mental pain flowed from my eyes landing in that small pool of blood.

Soon his car vanished from my sight leaving me as a sobbing and bleeding mess on the street of New York city.

______________________________________

He could see her

He could see those brown eyes looking at him with happiness but he couldn't reciprocate their happiness.

His hatred for her made him hate that smile which he once thought was the most beautiful smile with the perfect dimples.

He hated seeing her now.

Her hands tapping on his car windows were making him angry and he pressed the accelerator to escape from her presence .

He could see her running behind his car in the rear view mirror.

He saw her fall

But he didn't stop

He had decided to move on in his life.

And looking at the past will only cause problems.

Taking away his gaze from the back mirror he looked ahead and continued to drive towards his destination.

She was his past and he had forgotten her to move on in life.

Mistakes teach you a_lot in life and she was nothing but a mistake in his life.