5

A few days have passed since Pauline's death and my life no longer seems to have any meaning.

The physical pain is nothing compared to the moral pain I'm going through. I'm alone all day, Ian locks me in the room he assigned me and only comes in the evening to eat and then leave. He takes revenge for the slap I slapped him, but Pauline's death was enough to destroy me and make me understand that my life was nothing, and that I was only "the master's fridge".

That's what other people call me when they walk past my bedroom door knocking and laughing out loud. I thought I could stay strong against his monsters, but they got the better of me in just a few days. So I've decided they won't win and Ian will lose.

If I'm no longer alive, he won't be able to use me anymore and I won't have to suffer their humiliations. So I decided to kill myself, as soon as possible. The decision was hard to make, because I love life but I quickly realized that I didn't have any more. I'm like a toy that you take out only to put away afterwards. I want to live, but not this way. Slavery no longer exists and I cannot allow it to take place even for one person. My life will soon end but I will leave at least a message to these vampires who think they are all allowed..

The door opens slowly and I don't even look at who enters.

The sun has gone down and I know it's him. He comes to take his evening ration and bring my dinner which I never eat. Lying on my bed, I stare at the ceiling waiting for him to finish me, but strangely today he doesn't throw himself on me. He watches me sitting on the bed next to me.

"You're cold," he said then.

I don't answer, I barely listen to him and then I don't care what he has to say.

-It's not pleasant to feed on you...you look like status. Maybe I should find someone else who will be sensitive to my poison and my charm.

I finally look at him, is he going to kill me? It would fix my plans, I was planning to starve myself to death but for him to kill me would be easier. "I can't believe I think like that, I hit rock bottom in just a few days."Ian looks at me cautiously, then gently puts his hand on my forehead. His touch is cold, like every time he's hungry, and I shudder under his fingers.

-Why don't you eat anymore? He asks, pointing to yesterday's intact tray, placed on the bedside table.

-Why do you care? I said curtly, turning on my side so as not to see her beautiful face, which had the gift of troubling me.

-I don't know, maybe I don't want you to let yourself die, I preferred when you challenged me it was more fun than when you play living status.

-Oh ! well, the court jester is no longer available to "amuse" you.

I'm happy with my line and I smile in the dark to myself.

I hear him laugh and I hold myself back from turning to look at him.

-Alyson, I know what you're trying to do and I won't let you starve to death without reacting.

His tone is soft and almost pleading, which doesn't really sound like him. I finally turn to him to observe his features which are tense. "Is he worried about me?" No…I'm just a talking object, to him.

-I will not let you use me for 6 months to finally die. I prefer to speed up the process and you can kill my brother and all my family, but I'm sure by now they're already far from town. This is how the state protects the families of young girls who go missing. Now do what you have to do and leave me alone.

He still doesn't react and keeps staring at me.

-I can't feed on you when you have an empty stomach. You know, you probably think I'm cruel and vicious but feeding on blood is vital to me and there's nothing I can do about it. That's why nature intended our venom, but strangely, it has no effect on you and it never happened to me. I don't know how to react...but I know that I only want you as a donor.

I sit down to face him, it's the first time he's spoken to me softly, without threat and I'm quite surprised. He's really trying to convince me to live.

-Why should I live to die afterwards? I will suffer for you and that is not possible. Maybe human blood is essential for you, but you could avoid killing so many people. You are murderers in the name of the law, when you could find solutions to avoid all that. But no! we always choose the easy way!

Ian seems genuinely interested because what I'm saying and turns on the bedside lamp to get a better look at me. I blushed at his sudden interest.

-You're smart for a human, I like that. What solutions would you suggest then? he asks with interest.

I blush even more and look at my fingers before answering.

- Ask for volunteers and feed on them without surplus. Stop before they lose their strength and set them free. There are millions of thrill seekers who would be willing to do that. There are crazy people everywhere.

He doesn't answer, and seems deep in thought. I can't believe he's considering my proposal. His gaze falls on me again and he comes dangerously close to me until I feel his cool breath on my skin.

-Would you have volunteered?

What ? If I would have volunteered? Surely not ! It's so painful, and I loved having a peaceful, quiet life. Knowing that we are surrounded by vampires is not something I would have liked to find out, living in ignorance is sometimes the best way to protect yourself.

-I understand that your answer is no, it's painful for you, said Ian seeing my grimace. I can try to make it pleasant if you allow me certain things....

-Why are you nice to me? What does it bring you?

The vampire smiles at my question and puts the tray on the bed.

-You intrigue me, I've always had everything I wanted and never has a human stood up to me like you do...and you're delicious, I don't want to lose a treasure like you . I don't know why your smell is so delicious to me, but I can't afford to let you die. If you eat and let me make the bite enjoyable, I promise you I'll let you see your family again.

I look at him, surprised, and oddly happy with his revelations. Even though the little voice in my head is telling me he's just a liar...my heart wants to believe him.

- I'll go home in six months then? I asked softly.

He nods, staring into my eyes to confirm his promise.

-Of course, you won't have to talk about everything you've experienced here to anyone, but yes, I'll take you home.

I take the tray on my knees and take a good spoonful of tomato and basil soup. Ian's eyes shine with satisfaction and watches me as I devour my meal, starving from my little hunger strike. When I've finished the whole tray, the young man takes it off my knees and gets up as if to go out.

- I'm glad you made the right decision, now sleep, you need to regain your strength, he said, I look at him surprised.

- But you don't eat? I know you're hungry, though.

- No you are too weak and I promised to keep you alive. And how do you know I'm hungry? He asks curious all of a sudden.

I blush again and lower my eyes, I should have shut up.

-These blush on your cheeks are beautiful, I never thought to see so beautiful on a human. Answer my question now.

- Your skin, when you touch me in the evening it is cold, but when you leave, it is warm. And there, your skin is frozen...

Ian looks at me, apparently surprised by my thinking and a smirk forms on his model face. He may not be so monstrous he was just raised like that...

-I want to make efforts too and I feel better now that I ate. I don't want to deprive you of your food...

-Alyson, being too nice is never good. You should be more selfish because I am, the proof I will finally stay.

He puts the tray down and joins me on the bed. We're kneeling facing each other and Ian reaches out to put his hand on my warm cheek.

-Let yourself go, okay try to relax and let me have access to you freely, you will see the pain will disappear.

I promise to try and he gently lays me down on my back to get on top of me. His eyes scan me as his hands go under my tank top to caress my belly. I shiver at this cold contact, but his caresses are exquisite and I close my eyes while heaving a sigh of relief. I feel my body relax and Ian takes the opportunity to kiss my cheek and then my neck. His hands are still caressing my belly and I feel them sliding towards my breasts.

I tense up immediately and stop him.

-No ! I say looking into her eyes. Ian sighs and caresses my cheek gently.

-Alyson, I don't want to sleep with you, I just want you to think about other things so that you don't hurt. You promised to let me, he reminds me harshly. And then it must not be the first time that a boy touches you in this way...

I feel myself blushing.

-I'm not 100 years old! I'm 17.5 and I've never had a boyfriend so no one has ever touched me like that.

The young man seems surprised and gets up slightly.

- If it can reassure you 100 years for a vampire, it's like 19 years for a human so don't find the excuse of the old chnoque. I am young. And then you seemed to like it, I swear I don't want to sleep with you, so please let me.

19 years old ? Hmm it's suitable, it disgusts me maybe a little less. And then it's about my pleasure, for once. After all, I prefer that to this pain in my neck. I lie back down and Ian smiles, seemingly relieved. His hands resume their exploration under my top and his mouth on my neck, he kisses several times. A gentle warmth came over me and I couldn't help but put my arms around his neck. Ian seems satisfied with his gesture and one of his hands grabs one of my breasts to gently knead it. I feel good at this moment and I let him, savoring this sweet feeling. It's when I feel his teeth against my neck that I come back to reality.

-Relax, Aly, you'll be fine.

He bites me so hard that pleasure gives way to pain but I don't feel bad. When he starts to suck my blood, I feel good...even too good because his hands continue their gentle persecutions on my breasts. I then hug him closer to my neck almost enjoying his teeth in my flesh. Too quickly, Ian pulls his teeth out and kisses the drops of blood beading down my neck. The pleasure becomes almost unbearable because his hands press my breasts without stopping. I expect him to let me go but he doesn't and his mouth drops to rest on my chest. I want to tell him to stop, but at the same time I want him to continue. My breasts are so sensitive to his caresses that I forget the wound in my neck and little by little the pain ends up going away completely, leaving room in my heart only for a feeling that I had never felt before. .

When I come to my senses, Ian watches me carefully, seeming proud of himself. I belittle my tank top, ashamed of my nudity.

-SO ? It was painful ? Ian asks without any embarrassment.

I blush and I want to hide under the blanket.

-You see my beauty, you hardly felt anything and I loved doing this with you.

This time if I hide my face in my hands.

-Stop! It's quite annoying...

The young man removes my fingers from my face and lifts my chin.

-I don't see what's embarrassing about having fun. Are you as bad as yesterday? he asks, caressing the mark on my neck.

-No...it was almost pleasant in fact.

He seems satisfied with my answer and gets up from the bed to pull the blanket.

-Well, sleep now and don't be embarrassed like that in front of me, it's ridiculous. You're the first human I care about, so be flattered and proud of yourself.

I roll my eyes as I lay under the covers. The conceited and arrogant Ian is back but at least he didn't hurt me and I'm horrified to see that I loved our antics tonight. Ian kisses my forehead and walks out, locking the door behind him. I then bang my head against a pillow.

I mustn't get attached to this vampire, because he only sees me as an object...even if tonight he seemed really interested in me. I drift off to sleep and much to my regret, I dream of Ian kissing me tenderly on the lips.

POV Ian

Dear mother

My new donor worries me, she worries me because she looks different. She's smart, cute, and a beauty that no vampire can top. She's just fascinating, she stands up to me and this is the first time it's happened to me. What worries me is that I like it and I don't like it when she looks at me with disgust or when she is angry with me. She is a human and it would be unworthy for me to be attracted to such an imperfect species. But my thoughts during the day are only for her as well as my dreams.. .and the taste of his blood haunts me. How to explain this phenomenon dear mother? I'm lost and I don't feel able to hurt her...yet.

Help me. Because I can't stay in this state, which I don't understand, any longer.

My sincere greetings, your son, Ian.

My dear son,

I have received and read your letter and I promise not to tell your father about it because he would be mad with rage if you fell in love with a human, because yes you do. So I have two solutions to offer you either get away from her as soon as possible and forget her while there is still time or give free rein to your feelings. If you choose the second option, know that your father will accept your choice because he knows what it feels like to find your soul mate. If this human really attracts you irresistibly, it's because she's your soul mate and she must feel this attraction for you too. Make your choice well, I only want your happiness Ian and only you can find it with or without this young woman.

I love you, your beloved mother