Chapter 7. Despise.

Lucas was seated in his study, his fingers tapping furiously on his laptop keyboard. His gold rimmed glasses reflected with the light emanating from his laptop screen. His mind was fogged, brimmed with thoughts about Sia. It’s being years but he can’t wear off the guilt buried deep inside him.

How he hurt her.

How he threw her out from the villa. It’s all vivid. There’s no denying it.

Since his last encounter with Sia he didn’t set his eyes on her again.

He looked around for Sia but can’t find her. He thought maybe Sia died. But he instantly cursed himself the moment that dirty thought crossed his mind.

‘There’s no how she will be dead. She can’t be.’ He thought. But the result he got from all his raking all over Florida, Sia wasn’t found.

He later learned how her mother was burnt to death because their house was set ablaze. ‘did Sia commit suicide?’ he asked himself.

Lucas suddenly shook his head. He wants to see her but he already knows Sia won’t forgive him for what he did. He’s the bane of her existence.

So she can’t forgive him. Although, he has a beacon of hope she does. A beacon of hope' because he knows that if she’s alive, she might not spare him a glance.

She might spittle on him.

“I'll make sure you regret ever playing with my feelings.”

Her words like temple bell rang in his ears. Just as it whizzed in his ears, he stopped typing. Lucas ran his hands on his hair and doff his eyes glasses.

Frustration eating him up.

“Sia where are you?” he mumbled.

The door of his study creaked open but he didn’t bother to take a glimpse ‘cause he already knows who it is.

Danika stalked toward him and ghosted at his back, trailing her hands up and down his arms and back.

Her strawberry scented shampoo whiffed the air and enfolded Lucas’s nose.

She leaned in and whispered in his ears.

“Let’s go to bed already. I can’t sleep without you, hun.”

Her words was greeted with a long stretch of silence. She tilted forward again, and planted her lips on the shell of his ear, “C’mon, hun. I’m so bored.”

Lucas leaned back, straightened his upper body. Sighs, “I’m not ready to sleep yet. You can go and sleep Danika.”

His words made Danika’s stomach lurch. For years Lucas has been avoiding her like a contagious disease and it’s making her utterly frustrated.

“That’s what you keep telling me, Lucas. Do you ever try to consider my feelings? Do you know how hurt I feel knowing you always avoid me?” she flared up. His silence got her aflame.

She gawked at him with scrunched up brows, demanding an answer.

“For fuck’s sake, Danika, could you just leave me be? I’m in no mood to banter words with you now!” he growled, rubbing his hand on his face. Exasperated.

Danika remained persistent. She’s angry and frustrated.

Why can’t he just love her or pretend to love her for once?

Lucas is so detached. He gives her no attention. Spares her no glance and she’s tired of putting up with it.

“I can’t, Lucas. Not until you tread to that room with me and sleep with me.” She routed, throwing her hands in the air.

Hearing that word ‘sleep with me’ Lucas looked her up and down and scowled.

No doubts he has fucked her, kissed her but she’s in no way better than Sia.

He doubts anyone would be better than her.

She holds a place in his heart.

“I’m not horny, Danika. Please leave.” He spat in a deep throaty voice.

She felt a pang of shame as he spewed this to her, she wanted to protest further but words failed her.

Danika clenched her fists and gritted her teeth, annoyed.

“Arghh!!” she barked and stomped out of the study.

While she was stomping toward her room, she heard Mike calling out to her.

“Ma’am. Your…”

“Get outtttt!!” she yelled, making Mike shudder in fear.

He stood on his stead, frozen. His hands trembled. Danika is just a human dog. She barks and barks until everyone in the villa scampers to safety.

She paused, bashing her reddened eyes at Mike, surprised.

“Didn’t you hear me!?” she asked, brows arched.

Cowering, Mike raised the phone in his hands and extended it to her.

“Your cell…phone…was…” before he could finish stammering his words, Danika approached him and snatched her phone away.

“Now, leave my presence.”

Without waiting for her to suck in another breath, Mike scrambled to obey.

Danika whipped her hair backwards, and glanced at her screen as she unlocked it through the finger print.

“Mum called?” she sighed and placed her mum on a call.

“Ma? I saw your calls.” She spouted when her mother picked up.

“How are you, my dear?” came the mother’s voice.

“I’m…I’m far from good now, mother.” She lamented, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“And what’s the problem with you?”

“My problem is Lucas. Gosh!!” She yelped.

“He's still acting weird?” Asked the mother.

“Yes. It keeps getting worse. We ain’t married yet and it’s like this? What will happen when we finally seal our vow? He'll snuff me out?”

“Don’t worry baby, I’ve Lucas in my fingertips and I’ll handle him when I return to Florida.”

“And when are you coming back from England?”

“Soon, child. Just leave it to me.” The mother assured.

“Thanks mommy, Hera. Looking forward to your return.” She snapped. Afterward, they dropped the call.

“I must not wait for you to return, I’m going to find out who’s on his mind always. I need to find out who he's cheating on me with.” Danika wheezed and made a beeline to her room.

**

Sia whirled back and forth on her bed, struggling for air. Her body is all drenched with sweat, hands trembling.

She kept letting out shrilled wails from her lips. It’s as if she’s in that pain she experienced years ago. The sheets that draped her body flipped aside due to her constant tossing on the bed.

Her hair plastered on her forehead, all wet from sweat.

She’s bathe in blood. A sharp gust of pain whipped her body as the image flickered in her mind.

“Push Sia. Push!”

She heard the constant plea. The constant words of encouragement that she should push.

She winced, pain blossomed in her body. Tears began to prickle her closed eyes.

“C’mon push Sia. Push.” The voice flashed in her ears again.

Sia saw herself in that shank she was years ago. Darkness loomed the sky but that night was remarkable. The night she witnessed the pains and joy of motherhood.

She kept hitting her hands on the bed, yelping lowly, wheezing for air.

It’s a surprisingly bearable pain. Sia remembers that this is a symbol of their love, though shattered now but she can’t forget that it’s a proof she was once in love.

No matter what happened between she and Lucas, Sia chooses to love her child. Therefore she summoned the strength she had in her and kept on pushing. Her breath stuttering.

“I can’t…”

“No, you can and you’ll. Don’t give up yet. You’re bringing a beautiful seed in this world. Keep pushing.”

Celine’s words ricocheted in her mind and there she saw herself muster everything inside her to push.

She heard the muffled yelping of her baby and a wave of relief washed through her.

Her baby, her symbol of love is finally here. She sensed it. She felt it but was too tired to touch her.

Too tired to feel her with her hands despite how she craves to load the baby in her arms and shield her with the warmth of her body.

However, that tinge of relief that bloated inside her was short lived when she heard Celine’s worried voice seep through her frail mind.

“Oh my Sia.”

“Wh…what…is…it?”

Sia’s bed is already sloppy with her sweat.

Her forehead creased as these crippling news roved her mind.

“You lost the baby.”

Sia was too weak to talk. Too weak to scream because this world full of evil have snatched her last hope to survival.

Her little bundle of joy was taken away just when it sucked in its first breath on earth.

Sia felt her heart constrict in agony. In disbelief and before long, she rasped out,

“My baby!!!”

At last she sprang up from the bed. Her heart throbbing, her head banging.

The dream came rushing in her mind. Needling her like a curse.

That was a night Sia thought she’d stand strong on her feet again when the labor pains ricocheted her body but in turn, it became a melancholic night for her.

A night brimmed with sorrow and sobs of agony. That night keeps seeping through her mind all these years.

It lives with her every moment.

It keeps tormenting her dreams. Sia wrenched her lacy nightdress to her chest as she broke into sobs, fisting her disheveled hair.

“You lost the baby.”

Those last words pierced her ears. Sia’s hands and body all began to tremble, convulsing.

She alighted from the bed and hunt her anti-anxiety pills. She needs to calm down.

With shaky hands, Sia rummaged her cabinet for her drugs. Immediately she caught a hold of it, Sia shoved it in her mouth, grinded it a tad and hobbled to the water dispenser where she brimmed a glass of water and downed the drug.

Within minutes, her body recovered. She let out streams of air of relief whilst running her hand through her hair.

Sia trod back to her bed and settled on it, sighing. She looked at the wall clock and it’s almost 6.am in the morning.

“I need to go on a roadwork.” She mumbled and brushed her ass off the bed. She shuffled into the washroom used her mouthwash and sprinkled some water on her face, ridding off the sleep in her eyes.

Crawling back to the room, she hunt for her exercise out fit, slid on it and trailed downstairs.

The servants were already awake, cleaning, sweeping and manicuring the flowers.

Everywhere seemed bright and beautiful.

“Good morning, Mrs Monson.”

You could hear how every servants that comes across her sprinkled their greeting with small smiles littered on their faces.

“Good morning everyone.” She would respond, beaming.

“Mrs. Monson!” Sia heard someone call her and she already knows it’s Michelle. She drew to a halt and twirled to face Michelle.

‘Of course it’s going to be some nagging again.’ She mumbled, inwardly.

Michelle just reminds her of her nanny Ms. Celine. They have the same quirks, she couldn’t help but sigh.

“Are you going on a roadwork? I don’t think that’s advisable now.” Michelle’s voice reverberated.

She knows Sia is still weak considering what happened yesterday, hence the reprimand.

Hands on hip, Sia huffed and shrugged.

“It’s just a five minutes roadwork. Trust me I’ll be back in no time.”

“But…”

Sia’s words interrupted Michelle and she stood there helplessly looking at her retreating figure.

“Bye!! Ms. Michelle.” Sia waved and left.

“So stubborn.” Michelle drawled and a small grin appeared on her face. “and good.” She completed. With a wave of her head, Michelle waddled into the house.