04

#####04

I had so many thoughts running through my mind and not the moral ones. I should have felt a lot more guilty sharing the vision of my body with another. I should have felt extremely guilty for lusting over another man and I should have felt a lot more guilty for wanting to take this further.

But looking at this man holding his camera, looking at me and really seeing me stopped me from withholding any guilt.

He slowly raised the camera up to his face as I began to mirror the pace of his movements. I begun to slowly push my sleeves down my arms, I pulled my arms out and he lowered his camera. He was shocked that I was letting him see me bare.

I witnessed the bob of his Adam’s apple as I began to push the smooth material down my skin until it dropped to the floor pooling around my heels. In the silence, all I could hear was his breathing become slower as he saw all of my newly unmasked skin.

His eyes trailed from my eyes down my neck to my hardened nipples protruding through my lace bra, to my toned stomach reaching my pierced navel, even further down the lining of my extremely thin lace thong concealing my dampening pussy. His eyes stilled on my core for a little longer than it should have but I didn’t caution him. I didn’t want to.

There was something so erotic yet so intimate about this and he hadn’t even touched me yet. I found myself wanting his hands latched against my skin and not letting me go. « I’m ready. »

I break his gaze, I noticed his hands slightly trembling as he found his composure again. As quick as his nerves came, they fled. His calm, cool and collected persona was back, a devilish smirk arose on his lips causing a shiver to erupt down my spine.

He was back in his element, with his fingers laced on his camera as he began taking shots of my bare body, I tried my best to follow his unvoiced instructions but he would slowly shake his head between each shot.

I began to feel self-conscious with every shake of his head, I felt my hands unconsciously glide over my body to cover up and he immediately stopped and dropped his camera around his neck. I watched as his camera hit his chest from the impact of his frivolous drop. He wasn’t focussed on the price he paid for his prized possession, he was focussed on me.

I froze on the spot contemplating if my theories were correct. « Stop ! »

His voice filled the space all throughout the studio, I could almost feel the strain in his voice. His bellow shook me, I wasn’t sure if I was nervous or turned on by his sudden demand. He slowly walked over to me, my ears were ringing as I heard his shoes hit the ground, step by step.

« Don’t. » Step.

« Ever. » Step.

« Cover. » Step.

« Up. » Step.

With every step he took, he inched closer to me, rumbling me with every word as he accentuated every letter. He was now in front of me, only the barriers of his clothes, my lingerie and his camera between us.

He was frustrated, I felt it in the heavy breaths he took and the noticeable rise and fall of his buff chest. He searched my eyes for something I was unaware of. I began nibbling on my lower lip under his intense gaze. « May I touch you ? »

No Tobias I’m married. « Please, Tobias. »

I shut my eyes anticipating his touch, my head was spinning hoping that I hated what his touch would do to me but I knew that wouldn’t happen. My attraction to this man felt almost criminal but in all my life I had never wanted to be so bad. I counted the seconds before I would feel his large hands on me again.

I gasped as I felt his electrifying touch as his fingertips grazed my arms, goosebumps immediately made an appearance as he made his way down my arms to my hands. I gasped and immediately shot my eyes open when I felt him yank my hands away from my body, causing my arms to go limp as they swung to my sides.

Before I could even gulp, his large hands snaked around my waist « I am finding it extremely difficult keeping my composure around you. » His eyes flickered between my own as he raised a hand to latch under my chin. His touch was gentle but in this position he oozed dominance. « You are perfect. Don’t cover yourself up. I want to show you how perfect you are. »

He let me go and came around the back of me, I could feel his breath on the back of my neck, I was nervous waiting for him to make a move. I remained looking forward in fear that I would spoil what was coming next.

He threaded his right-hand around my neck until his fingers were on my chin, he moved my face ever so slightly to the right and down a tad so I could see him in my peripheral.

Then I felt his left-hand sliver down my left side until it stilled on my waist just above the lace of my thong but how I wish he would go lower. He shifted my lower back in the same direction as my chin, he then slid his hand down the front of my thigh as I tried to move my legs « Relax, okay ? I’m just making slight adjustments, you never have to change for me. »

I had forgotten where we were as I felt myself come out of my hypnotic state. I felt his hips push forward into my ass as I suppressed a moan, his words and movements had me in a daze. My mind was swarming with the thoughts lust, intrigue, attention, desire but those were all clouded over when I felt a pang of guilt when I replayed his last words « … for me. »

I had almost forgotten about the wedding ring sitting on my finger, almost. I forced myself out of his grasp as I felt my heart rate accelerate. « Tobias, please stop ! »

I saw the disappointment and frustration on his face « Look, I’m sorry Tobias, I gave you the wrong idea but I’m ha – happily married. I’m married. » I felt myself stutter at my attempts to say happy.

« I’m the photographer of your couples segment. I already know you’re married, but in this business people talk. And all I have heard about the great Chase Bishop was that he constantly cheated on his stunningly beautiful wife to the point of being in a possible open marriage. »

I closed my eyes as I couldn’t look into his knowing I would be putty in his hands if I delved into his pools of chocolate and honey. « Well, they’re just rumours, you don’t know anything about my marriage. You don’t even know me –« I felt bile form in my throat as I tried to hold back the tears of hearing the reality of my marriage from someone I had just met but was insanely attracted to.

My eyes remained closed as I held back the tears I was on the brink of, my eyes shot open when I heard his voice « She’s not his sister is she ? »

I felt a single tear burn my cheek, my heart was hurting and as much as I tried to convince myself that I was happy, I wasn’t.

I was devastated that I wasn’t enough, I was embarrassed that someone had found out the truth, I was breaking my own heart every day that I stayed in this marriage and I was scared of starting over.

I breathed in deep holding back the breakdown that I felt erupting « She’s his girlfriend. Everything you’ve heard is true. You don’t have to tell me how stupid I am for staying in this marriage, I already know but I love him. »

He strolled towards me and pulled me into his arms as I felt myself cry against his chest. I didn’t know how long I spent buried in his warm inviting chest but I eventually untangled my arms from around his back and hurriedly wiped my tears with my wrists. « I’m so embarrassed, we don’t even know each other and I just –«

« Stop it okay ? You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger than the people closest to you but I don’t want to be a stranger to you Monroe. »

I lifted my gaze up to his beautiful face « I know you’re not ready to leave your husband and I – as much as I hate that fact, I feel something. I don’t know if it’s lust, or what ? But I feel something being around you and I want to explore it. I want to explore this, I want to explore you. I want to explore us. »

« I want to explore us. »

Looking into this mans deserving eyes, I wanted to scream yes. I wanted to break down all of my walls and fears and run into his arms. The warmth in his eyes, the kindness of his touch, the delicate intonation of his words made me weak at the knees. The butterflies swarming in my stomach was a sure sign of what my heart wanted but, I had just met the guy.

I felt my chest begin to constrict as I registered what he was saying but this was more than just two people getting to know each other. This was so much bigger than that, this was me stepping outside of my marriage, giving myself to someone in a way that should only be giving to my soulmate but at this point…

I didn’t even know who that was.

In a matter of hours I had forgotten all about the vows I had made to my husband, I had forgotten about the love I shared with him over the last 8 years, I had forgotten every day of my adult life that I had dedicated to him and our life together.

One question, one plead, one man. That’s all it took to change that for me.

It was like those hypnotic words and those dazing eyes that had me foggy with amnesia, as all I could think about was him. He was intense, powerful in the best of ways, enticing and captivating. I just couldn’t spin myself out of his web but I had to. I had to find the willpower to stop this before it got to far because once he had me…