02

#####02

My first for everything. I gave him all of me, all of what a woman gives a man she loves, and she cherishes with every inch and every mile. We met in school and everything just fell into place. He opened up my life to a world of trust, commitment, adoration and unconditional love, the things that I now can’t live without. He completes my circle and even imagining a life without him is a life I never wish to see.

And that’s what I told everyone. Reporters, journalists, bloggers, and even my own family. I even told myself that, to the point where I believed it. I had rehearsed those same words in the mirror so many times over that I don’t even realise if I’m lying about it anymore.

I sat in front of the vanity looking at the person looking back at me as my hairstylist curled my hair to perfection and my makeup artist put the final touches to my lip combination, I looked beautiful but that didn’t stop my self-esteem from being shot as I heard my husband in the room next door with his new girlfriend giggling.

I smiled at my makeup artist as she paused with sadness in her eyes, I knew what that sadness meant, it was pity. She pitied me, I mean I would too if I was doing my client’s makeup for her first interview about her marriage to her mogul husband of 5 years and he is in the next room canoodling with his girlfriend. « Could you guys give me a second please ? »

They both looked at me with sorrow in their eyes, I looked directly back at the mirror not even acknowledging their expressions, I knew if I looked at them I would have broken down for the millionth time. They both exited the room, as I heard the door close behind them I finally exhaled and my head dropped into my hands. I felt my lip start to tremble as the tears started to pool my eyelids but I couldn’t cry today because this was meant to be my moment to shine.

I looked back up at the mirror, picked up a cotton bud and cleaned up the tears that had almost fallen from my beautified eyes. I attempting to center myself with some steady breathing as I blocked out all of the negative thoughts and put on the game face that the world needed to see, his wife. This was about me and my husband, it was my grand entrance into his world and I wasn’t going to mess this up for anyone.

I know crazy right, I’m doing this for him knowing what he is doing to her.

I plastered that award-winning smile on my face, whipped my robe off of my body, went to the rack to see my outfits for the shoot and interview commencing immediately after. I carefully dressed in a peach off the shoulder, long-sleeved dress that reached my knees and my nude peeped-toed stiletto 6-inch tie-up heels.

I looked back over to the mirror one last time, sliding my hands down the curves of my curvaceous body as I tilted my head to one side feeling every nook and cranny of myself, every blemish and every flaw that once upon a time, my husband adored.

I wished the hands sliding down my body were his masculine hands, taking in every inch of my body, cherishing it like it was the last thing on earth he would get to touch but yet again that was all a cruel fantasy of mine.

Giving myself one final look of approval, before walking out of my dressing room. As soon as I walked through that door it was like a whole different world. There were people rushing up and down the halls making sure everyone was in position and doing what they needed to make ensure that today went smoothly. I felt my nerves rear their ugly head, as I felt the panic rack my mind my feet started moving before I could think.

I instinctively found myself knocking on the door next to mine, I felt a nervous tick become very evident. I looked around as I knocked a few more times, I needed the man on the other side of the door, he was my calm and my cool. So when I channeled out all of the noise around me and listened in to what was happening behind that door I felt my head fall just as my heart did.

I had to hear my husband so happy in the clutches of his new girlfriend when I needed him the most, they were laughing to the point of tears, she made him happy in the way I used to. I couldn’t hear or feel anything else around me, the weight of my heart was dragging me down as my forehead laid against the door.

I knocked once more as if he had heard my cries for help the first time around. I didn’t know why I continued to torture myself, why I continued to break my own heart. And that was the worst part, I enabled it.

I finally let go of the breath I didn’t know I was holding as I felt someone tap my shoulder, I paused before lifting my face away the door to discover the mysterious stranger with a tissue in his hand as he lent up against the wall. I looked down at the tissue and took it from him to dry my dampen eyes.

I dabbed lightly under my eyes before finally looking at the man, he had dangerously dark brown eyes with small flecks of gold dancing through then, a full oiled and sheened crisp beard and beautiful wavy tresses that fell just below his ears. I felt myself staring and not being able to look away when my eyes trailed down to his body, his black V-neck top showcasing his defined pectoral’s and outlining the washboard abs that lay beneath the material of his top.

« Hey, you’re Mrs Bishop right ? » He gestured to me so cooly, and I would have noticed how cool he was being if my mind wasn’t focussed on the name he had just annunciated, each syllable caused a strain to my eardrums.

I had never felt so terrible being called that but I couldn’t show him that, I mean he must work for the photo studio as an intern or something and I didn’t want to show him how badly my heart stung hearing the name I so desperately wanted for so long. « Yes. That’s me, are you here to bring me over to the studio ? »

His face let out an expression of confusion before his lips began to curve into a smirk « Yeah, something like that. I’ll take you down there but are you waiting for your husband ? You don’t need him there for the shoot ? »

I knew from the cadence in his voice that that was a question but for some reason, I felt like it was a statement. I looked back at the door contemplating my decision, I mean of course I wanted him there but at this point, I had been doing things by myself for so long that maybe I just liked the idea of needing him.

« No thank you. It’s fine, I’m ready. »

His lips rolled into a straight line as his eyes bore into me, his eyelashes flickered up and down as if he was taking a mental picture of my body. I started beginning to feel nervous under his watchful eyes and I couldn’t understand why. He suddenly turned away from me and put his elbow out as if to say take it and I complied, now I knew this wasn’t normal behaviour for someone to escort me to my shoot but the way my heart was feeling, I was in no mood to deny his strange behaviour. I kind of liked it.

We walked the halls arm in arm, I began to hear less and less of their giggling as we walked further. To my surprise, every person we passed said hello to him, a few even said his name Mr. Wrexler. I soon realised that he definitely wasn’t an intern, I looked over to him to again to be so heavily fazed by his striking good looks and for that split second, I didn’t think about the husband that I just left behind in that room with her.

We soon reached the studio area, I hadn’t even noticed that Mr. Wrexler had let go of my arm and walked away as I was so astonished by the scene around me. Everything was white, heavily lit up and clean. The white backdrop was crisp surrounded by key lights, fill lights and rim lights. My eyes skimmed over the large space filled with people, to find another full rack of designer clothes and a table full of accessories that I could only dream to see myself in but that wasn’t what was piquing my interest.

My eyes surveyed the space once more until my eyes were directly center, locked onto the figure holding the expensive camera whilst talking to another colleague who was both hunched over their Macbooks and state of the art iMac monitor in front of them. He was completely in his element as he kept looking down to the camera screen in front of him.

He pulled the camera to his face to snap a photo, I would assume he was taking test shots so when he looked over to me and took a quick shot of me, I was stunned. Before I could register what was happened, a large grin formed on his face. « Mrs. Bishop we haven’t got all day. You still have your interview to do, let’s make some magic. »

I felt like I was frozen on the spot, I felt my nerves get the better of me and my face begin to feel flushed. Without missing a beat, he passed the camera over to his colleague and strutted over to where I stood. « Hey, do you need your husband to get through this ? » And there it was again, that question that almost definitely sounded like a statement.

I felt like my words were lost and I just couldn’t get anything out, I had never had any problems talking to men before so what was different about this one ? I was pulled out of my overthinking as I felt like soft hand slip into mine and he started to pull me over to the backdrop. It was a weird feeling having another man’s hand in mine but I wasn’t desperately trying to scratch away from it because for some reason I felt comfortable.

He placed me in the center of backdrop, it was like he could tell that I was that nervous, he began looking around the room, he swiftly turned around and grabbed the camera and placed it around his neck. He looked back at me once last time as he gave me a small smile and turned back around to the rest of his crew that was moving in and out of the room « Okay, everybody out ! »