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'Life goes on'

That's what everyone says.

But what if that's the saddest part?

~~

September 2019

~~

Don't panic.

Do.

Not.

Panic.

You'll figure something out Angelica.

The bench I was currently sitting on was cold and uncomfortable beneath me.

It had been two months.

Although it seemed like an eternity had passed.

Just two months.

Since my mother had finally succumbed to her cancer.

Since I had left that godforsaken place.

I'd sold my mother's wedding ring and my pendant for money but even that had run out.

I had no food. No money.

No home.

The tears threatened to spill but I held them back

I clutched the envelope in my hands to my chest. It was the only piece of my mother I had left.

Inside the envelope there was a letter and a single photograph.

When you looked at the photo you couldn't help but smile. You'd see the faces of a happy family. A father, a mother their son and their daughter. Looking so content, peaceful.

The letter on the other hand was a different story. It was tragic, really, but for some odd reason I found myself reading it over and over again. Perhaps it was because I felt like it was the only thing keeping me tethered to reality.

My eyes automatically started skimming through the lines;

"To my dearest daughter I told the nurse to give you this letter if I didn't make it, so if you're reading this I have already left you.

I want you to do two things for me,

First I want you to go to my room, search the floor beneath the bed for a loose floor board. You'll find a wooden box beneath it, inside that box there's some jewelry and a picture. Take it.

Next, I want you to pack your things and leave home.

Home. That's not what I should call this place.

This isn't what a home is supposed to be like. This place is a nightmare.

I am so sorry I brought you here. At the time it seemed like the best decision, by the time I realized that it wasn't, it was too late to turn back.

I know the only reason you stayed here was because of me. There were times when I wanted to beg you to leave me here and run as far away as you could but I was too much of a coward to do that. I wasn't ready to let you go.

Now that I'm gone. I know there's nothing for you here.

Nothing but pain and suffering. I know it's all my fault. I hope that you'll be able to forgive me one day.

I want you to go somewhere far away Angelica.

I want you to go back to Italy.

I want you to find your father, darling. Show him this picture. Tell him about me, about how we got here, everything. He just has to look at you to believe you.

I know it won't be easy and I am so sorry for that.

I wish I was here with you.

I wish I could turn back time and undo my mistakes but I can't. It has to be you.

Angelica, you are strong. Stronger than anyone I know.

And you are brave.

I hope you know that everything I did was because I loved you.

I will always be with you."

I tried to swallow the growing lump in my throat. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand furiously trying to get rid of the moisture that had managed to escape.

I read the name over and over again.

My father's name.

A strangers name.

I didn't remember anything about my father or brother, my mother had always avoided talking about them I knew it was because it caused her too much pain.

I knew my brother was dead. He had been killed and I had been there when it happened. Everything else about my biological father and brother was a blur.

The doctor said I had psychogenic amnesia, a memory loss condition associated with severe psychological trauma. My condition was undoubtedly due to the events that had taken place thirteen years ago, events that lead to the murder of my brother and my mother leaving my father.

My hands shook. All I wanted to do was scream.

"You asked me to come here to Verona, Italy and I did. But you didn't tell me what I was supposed to do once I got here Mama." I whispered. "The only thing I know about my father is his name, I can't even remember him. How am I supposed to find him? And even if I do find him what makes you so sure he'd believe a goddamn photograph which could have easily been stolen or forged."

I can't believe you actually left me here in this mess.

What am I supposed to do?

Where am I supposed to go?

How am I going to survive...

"This is a huge mistake." A man's squeaky voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

There was a cold chuckle.

"Non lo penso, amico mio" (I don't think so, my friend)

I shoved the envelope in my bag pack and slowly got up from where I was sitting. I followed the sound of the voices. The feeling of dread settled deep in my chest.

The voices came from an alley just a few feet away from here I was.

I plastered myself against the wall and peeked.

There were four men in total. Three of them wore black suites and sunglasses and they surrounded the fourth man.

"I'm sorry. Please give me another chance. I'll do anything." I could see that the man was shaking badly, he was terrified.

"Mi spiace che il capo abbia detto di non avere più possibilità." (Sorry, but the boss said no more chances.) The man in the suite who had blonde hair replied.

My eyes widened in horror when I saw him retract a revolver from his back pocket. He aimed it straight at the trembling man's chest.

My heart thudded in my chest wildly.

The police.

I needed to call the police.

My hands were shaking badly as I took out my cell phone from my bag.

Bang!

The sound of the gunshot resonated.

I had to clamp my hand over my mouth to keep from screaming.

I dared to look again and the scene in front of me made bile rise up in my throat.

The man who'd been begging for his life was lying motionless on the ground. The front of his shirt growing crimson with blood.

The men who shot him were nowhere in sight.

I took a few hesitant steps back before finally snapping out of it.

I ran as fast as my legs would carry me before they finally gave out and I collapsed.

I threw up.

After I'd finally gathered my wits I managed to get a hold of my phone. With shaking hands I dialed for the police.

"Ciao." I heard them answer.

I was about to respond but suddenly the phone was yanked away from my grasp.

My eyes widened in horror. I could feel my heart stutter.

The same man in the suite stood in front of me with my phone in his hand, the man who I'd just seen murder a man in cold blood.

I watched as he brought the phone to his ear. "Ciao, vorrei ordinare una pizza al formaggio in più" (Hello, I'd like to order an extra cheese pizza) His voice was exaggeratedly slurred, like that of a drunk man but his eyes were completely alert, locked on me. Daring me to move.

"Eh? Questa non è la Pizzeria Bella Napoli? " (Huh? This isn't Pizzeria Bella Napoli?) His tone morphed into one of confusion. "Perdonami. Credo di essere un po 'ubriaco." (Forgive me. I believe I am a little drunk.)

Slowly, he ended the call and turned my phone off.

My mind raced. Trying to figure out the smartest way to get out of this situation.

He was easily the largest man I'd ever seen. He would easily win if I tried to fight him.

He was probably faster too. If I tried to run there was a high chance he'd be able to catch me. Not to mention the fact that he had a gun. He'd probably just shoot me if I tried to flee.

That left me with just one option.

Playing dumb.

"Hey." I tried to keep my voice as calm as possible. "Can I have my phone back please?"

His eyebrows raised in surprise. But he quickly masked it with a smirk.

"What is a beautiful girl like you doing in a place like this, all alone?" He had a thick accent.

"Oh, I'm just a tourist. Got separated from my group, they must be looking for me. That's why I called the police, I didn't know who else to contact for help." I lied smoothly.

He nodded his head. "That makes sense." His eyes studied me closely. "There were some complaints about disturbance in this area? Are you aware of any unusual activity which took place here?"

I forced my face to look confused. "No? I don't think so."

He stared at me for a good minute before finally giving me a smile. "I see. Here is your phone." He said handing me my phone back. "Sorry for the inconvenience, be careful signora." (Madam)

I forced my expression to stay neutral, masking the relief I felt.

"I will." I said taking my phone and turning away.

It took everything in me to keep a steady pace and not run.

I'd taken a few steps when suddenly I felt myself being grabbed from behind.

I screamed, my arms and legs scratching and kicking.

A cloth clamped down on my nose and mouth. The strong scent of chloroform stung my nose. I tried to hold my breath but I could feel myself drifting away.

"Nice try donna."

Those were the last words I heard before everything went black.

~~

I already know this is a dream.

I haven't dreamt about this place in years.

I am in a same small empty room like always.

"Angelica." My brother Declan's voice calles out.

"Declan! Where are you?" I shout in response.

"Turn around Angelica?"

I whip around to find my brother standing there and looking at me with his smiling face, He extends a hand towards me.

I smile back and start going towards him.

But suddenly he's not smiling anymore. I can tell that something is wrong.

That's when I see it.

The front of Declan's shirt is soaked with blood.

"Help me Angelica. Save me." He groans. But his voice is fading.

I start running towards him but the more I run the further he goes.

"Stop running little girl." A cold voice calls from behind me.

I turn around and scream.

He laughs.

It's him.

The man with the black eyes.

The monster.

He's right behind me.

He's going to catch me.

~~

I woke up with a jolt.

"Oh thank God you're awake. I was afraid I would have to carry you." A masculine voice with a heavy Italian accent caught my attention.

It took me a moment to finally acknowledge the situation.

I swallowed, trying to keep my panic in check. I knew I had to keep a cool head if I wanted to get out of this alive.

"Where am I?" I demanded.

"You'll find out soon enough." The blonde man responded.

He held the door open for me and for the first time I noticed that I was actually inside a car.

I had no idea how long I had been unconscious for so there was no possibility or figuring out where I was.

I slowly got out.

The man nudged me forward with the tip of his gun and I gave him a scowl.

He sighed. "I apologize but you left me no choice. I dislike this situation as much as you." When I didn't respond he continued. "Look, you can hate me but there are people worse than me here. If it was someone else they would have just shot you and got it over with." His words caused a chill to travel up my spine but I forced my face to stay blank.

"Let me give you a word of advice. I suggest you listen carefully if you want to stay alive." He said after a short pause.

"Never forget that they own this city. They own you. If they tell you to do something, you do it. No questions asked. They are cruel, they are relentless. They can end you with a flick of their fingers. Your life is in their hands so I suggest you don't do anything to piss them off."

"Who are they?" I finally managed to ask.

"The Alfonsi family."