Guilt

I lost count years ago of the number of women I'd been with, and if most of them walked right up to me on the street today, I wouldn't have a clue who they were.

But I knew instantly that with Vicki, it was going to be different, dangerous even.

This was one woman that I would never forget and one afternoon that could fodder my fantasies for a lifetime. I felt like a man utterly starved and suddenly offered a steak. I'd had sex with someone last night and I'd already forgotten with whom.

With Vicki it wasn't just her gorgeous body or her beautiful face; it was the sounds that she made that turned me on and the looks that she got on her face and the deep, burning desire in her beautiful green eyes.

By the time we were both panting and sweating and clutching tightly onto each other... I already didn't want to let her go.

VICTORIA'S POV

When Alex collapsed on top of me and I got my breathing under control and I could put two thoughts together again, all I could think was, "Dear God, what have I done?" and shamelessly.

"Dear God, I want to do that again." What was in that wine?

I've never had a one-night, or afternoon, stand in my life. I've always been a good girl... I've only been with three men in my lifetime.

The first was my "first love" my senior year in high school, the second was my boyfriend for two years in college and the third was Jason who I had been with since. I'm not the one-night stand type. Alex is.

Dear God, what is he thinking of me?

I might know if I could see his face, but he's settled into the pillow, and pulled my back up against him as if we're going to spend the rest of the day cuddled here together as if we're in love instead of employer and employee.

Instead of billionaire and maid. He's so warm, and his breath on my neck feels so good. I can't even let my mind begin to drift back to what just happened between us because I'll start shaking all over again.

 I honestly never knew that sex could be like that. Maybe it was because he was so experienced... maybe it was because our afternoon tryst was so taboo in my mind, but God it was amazing and Lord help me I did want to do it again.

"Are you okay?" His voice had a sexy sleepy quality to it and that coupled with the heat of his breath against my neck made me shudder. I nodded.

"Mm hmm." I know it wasn't a brilliant answer, but what was I going to say?

I felt him let go of me and I thought, "This is it. I have to get out of this bed naked in front of his eyes and put on that horrible dress and do the walk of shame back out to where my mop is."

Alex wasn't ready to get up yet though and instead of letting me go, he turned me over so that I was now facing him. He put his fingers underneath my chin and tipped my face up to his.

He smiled so sweetly and then he lowered his mouth down to mine and kissed me so tenderly that it honestly nearly made me cry again.

If this was what one afternoon stands were like... I think I'll have another.

And I did... or we did and afternoon turned into evening and evening into night and I fell asleep in his arms. He was so warm and tender and even my heart was smiling when I closed my eyes.

I woke up thanks to the early morning sun pressing its way into the room via the skylight. I think I was still smiling. The glow from sleeping in Alex's loving arms was still flowing warmly through my veins.

Then suddenly, the glow was replaced by panic. I sat up and looked around. He'd locked me in... but he was gone.

Oh, God! What if I've made a terrible mistake? I glanced over at the clock... it was only six-fifteen.

Thank goodness I woke up before Manny came in at seven! Coming face to face with him, fully naked, would have been the icing on this already mortifying cake.

I gathered my clothes quickly and as I got dressed I wondered where Alex had gone and when.

Did he slip back to his room in the middle of the night out of the fear that one of the other staff would catch us?

 Did he have a date?

Surely he hadn't already gone into the office. It was so early.

Then again, he didn't go in yesterday, which I knew for a fact. But today was Saturday; my day off, thank goodness again.

I wasn't sure how I was going to face him. I wondered what he was thinking of me and I couldn't help but wonder what I'd just done to my job. I needed this job.

I was set to begin my online classes next semester and I had a big payment due soon. How could I have been so stupid... and for sex?

But it wasn't just sex. I didn't want to think that. I was trying hard to discourage myself from thinking that but it was the truth.

At least on my end, it wasn't just sex. I'd felt a real connection there, or had I just been stupid once again? I got into the elevator and pushed the button for the upper floor where the master suite was located.

When I stepped off, the first thing I noticed was that my cleaning cart was still there. Alex... or someone had moved it over to the side. The second thing I noticed was that the door to his suite was open. I carefully moved across the upper balcony.

All was quiet downstairs. Not even the cook came in before seven. Alex liked it that way. Those were his rules. No staff between seven p.m. and seven a.m.

I got to the door and cautiously glanced inside. The bed was made and all looked neat. I hadn't made the bed yesterday... I wondered who did. Karen wasn't usually in on Fridays, but what if she'd come in for some reason yesterday?

She liked me, but she was tough and that was why she had the job of leading the staff. I'd seen her fire people for less. I looked at the cart again and told myself that if it had been Karen, she would have put the cart away downstairs where it went.

Did Alex make his bed? I guess that wouldn't be completely odd. He'd done it before.

"Alex?" I called out to the empty room. I advanced a little further inside. The little sitting room with the big stone fireplace was empty as well and the door to the huge bathroom was open and that room was empty as well. I looked at the clock.

It was six-thirty now. I had to get out of here before the other staff came in. There would be no logical explanation for me being here in a wrinkled uniform on my day off. Besides, I thought, looking into the mirror on his dresser, I looked like I'd been having wild sex all night.

Or maybe that was just the invisible "Guilt" stamp on my forehead. I guiltily retreated and headed for the elevator. I took it to the main floor and left through the locked service entrance in the back of the large, gourmet kitchen, locking it again behind me.

Taking a deep breath of the fresh, salty morning air, I made my way to the employee parking area, got into my car, and snuck out like a thief. I realized when I got out to the main road that my heart was pounding hard against my ribcage and my breathing was irregular.

I made it home just short of hyperventilating and held my breath even as I entered my apartment, hoping my roommate Liz had gone to work. I wasn't going to be that lucky. She was sitting at the little dining room table enjoying her coffee as I stole through the door.

She grinned broadly and said, "Well hello. You look like you had a good night." I imagine that in my anxious state my cheeks were probably flushed and since I was still wearing my uniform... "Um... yeah, it was okay," I said.

"How are you?" She raised an eyebrow and stood up. "I'm going to pour you a cup of coffee while you change. Then, you and I can talk."

“Talk about...?" She took a cup out of the cabinet and turned around and looked at me again. She ran her eyes over my uniform and my disheveled state and said, "Why you were out all night and you're still in your uniform..."