5

“So you got all worked up, decided to get the fuck out of there, but left him your card anyway?” Tanya Davidson, Ward’s best friend, snickered as she stirred her iced tea with her straw, dark brown eyes sparkling with amusement. “Ward, honey, I love you, but you’re too much.”

Ward focused on his drink, half wishing he hadn’t told her a thing, while knowing damn well he never kept anything from her. She’d almost been his wife for fuck’s sakes.

All right, the latter was a stretch. He’d always love her, and she was the most beautiful person he’d ever met. From her smooth, black skin with a warmth that seemed to shine from within, her curly black hair, her sharp wit, her body with muscles and curves that always felt so good against him when he held her. Bringing her pleasure and making her smile meant the world to him.

But he’d proposed because they’d been together so long he’d thought it was the right thing to do. She’d asked for time to think and broke up with him the next day. There were no hard feelings, they’d been together out of habit. She had every right to look for a real relationship.

If only he could’ve given it to her. Because he’d never be that comfortable with anyone else.

She put her hand over his, silent until he met her eyes. “I’m just teasing you. Honestly, I’m happy to hear you finally showing interest in someone. You spend too much time alone.”

“I’ve only been single for a year. There’s no rush.”

Tanya made an irritated sound, brushing off an invisible piece of fluff on her gunmetal grey suit jacket while holding his gaze. “Twenty years, Ward. You were in the military for fifteen of them and rarely spent more than a week back home. You wouldn’t have gotten laid if we hadn’t agreed on an open relationship.”

He winced at that. He’d never minded when Tanya had sex with other people, he wanted her happy and he’d been gone for over eighty percent of their relationship. But he struggled taking lovers without having an emotional attachment, and he’d barely managed to be there enough for one person, never mind two. His brief encounters left him feeling cold. Coming home to Tanya had always been perfect.

But unfair to her because she wanted someone to wake up with every morning. Someone to have meals and make plans for the future with. He’d always been too wrapped up in his work to be that for her. Until a training exercise broke his arm in five places and the bones didn’t heal right.

It was then he realized they hadn’t built anything together. He wanted to, but Tanya was right to say if it hadn’t happened by then, it never would. They were more like roommates than lovers.

“Talk to me.” Tanya squeezed his hand. “I don’t understand why you refuse to give anyone a chance.”

Ward chuckled. “You think I should give an arrogant little rich boy another chance?”

“Oh stop being so self-righteous. He doesn’t know you, and from what you just told me, it sounds like he tried to be polite about turning you down at first. Then you both got all up in your feelings.” She gave him a pointed look. “Either way, you left him your card for a reason.”

“Yes. To give him referrals.”

“Bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit. I won’t lie to you, I think he’s fucking hot. If I was into casual flings, I’d consider it. But I’m not, so this whole conversation is pointless.” He finished his iced matcha green tea latte, a drink Tanya had coaxed him into trying once, which did taste ‘green’ as she’d described, with a hint of honey for sweetness. Despite his initial grumbling, it ended up being his favorite drink to have during their bi-weekly get-togethers at the small tea shop near her office.

Standing, he gestured to her iced bubble tea. “Would you like another?”

She arched a brow. “I thought you were going to storm off.”

“Nope. I’m having fun, even while you’re riding my ass.”

“Mmm.” Her lips quirked. “You always did enjoy that.”

Neck heating, he shot her the disapproving frown that always served him in the military, but had only ever made her laugh. A sound he enjoyed enough not to take it as a blow to his ego. He wasn’t in command of anyone except a bunch of loveable mutts now.

Speaking of which…

After ordering them each another drink, he returned to the table and faced her. “You asked me to keep an eye out for any dogs that needed to be fostered before they could start training. I found one if you and your girlfriend are still interested.”

“I am. She’s…no longer part of the equation.”

His brow furrowed. Tanya and Karen seemed like a good match, they’d been living together for the past six months.

Before he could ask what happened, Tanya continued. “She went on a rant about abortion. I told her I’d had one. The end.”

“Ouch.” Ward sighed. “I thought she was all about women’s rights?”

“Apparently not. I’m glad it came out now though. I have no patience for anyone shaming me for doing what’s right for myself and my body.” She smiled. “I’m glad you were there though. If you’d asked me to marry you that night, I might’ve said yes.”

He smiled back, then shook his head. “You wouldn’t have. I shipped out a few days later, but I’m happy I was there too. And that I got better at checking the expiry date on condoms.”

“Oh God, yes. But hey, we got to binge watch Doctor Who that weekend. Wasn’t a total loss.”