Would You?

Zoey’s [POV]

Music wasn’t just what I did. It was who I was. I played and composed not just because I had to but also because I wanted to. It was cathartic for me. It was a stress reliever and sometimes when I was sitting in front of a piano my problems didn’t seem all that huge.

I was in one of the music rooms on campus, and I was trying to figure out what my next move was. I didn’t want to stay with Mom, and I knew that I wasn’t really welcome at Seth’s apartment while Cory was there. Not that Seth had any clue about the subtle hints that Cory was leaving for me. She was always very careful about how she treated me in front of Seth.

I was still playing when I heard someone walk into the room behind me. I stopped playing and turned around to see Professor Milton. She was probably my favorite professor. Not only was she accomplished, talented, and passionate, but she was also kind and empathetic too. She had a way of getting to know her students and really investing her time in them. Around my second year, I had felt this intense pressure to keep up my grades, and I had worked myself into a near breakdown. It had been Professor Milton who had talked me off the ledge. She had made me see that failing wasn’t the end of the world. After that, I had felt the pressure lift, and I realized I had just been getting in my own way.

I didn’t have any classes with her this year which I had been really bummed about, but I still stopped by her office every now and again to have a chat with her and get her advice on my music.

“Professor,” I said, whirling around to face her. “It’s nice to see you.”

“How’s my favorite student doing?” she asked.

I laughed. “How many students do you say that too?”

“Not as many as you would think,” she replied. “That was a nice melody you were playing… something you’re working on?”

“Not exactly… that was just my version of doodling. I just sit and play and don’t think about what I’m playing.”

“You should really record yourself when you do that,” Professor Milton advised me. “Then at least you can play them back and refine the melodies you create. That was beautiful music I just heard.”

“That’s a good idea,” I said. “I’ll definitely try and do it in the future.”

“I was actually hoping to run into you here,” Professor Milton told me.

“You were?” I asked. “What about?”

“I heard you were evicted from the student dorms.”

My face fell immediately. “Oh… you heard about that?”

“I did.”

I looked down, wondering if she would believe me if I told her I had nothing to do with the parties. “It wasn’t my fault.”

“I didn’t think it was,” Professor Milton said immediately.

“Really?”

“I know you, Zoey,” she said. “You’re not the type who’s into the partying scene. Why would you compromise your living arrangements for one? I told the dorm supervisors as much, but by then I think it was too late.”

“Thanks for sticking up for me,” I said, and I really was grateful. “I really appreciate that.”

“I assume you’re staying with your mother at the moment?” Professor Milton asked.

She knew almost everything about my family. She had been something of a counselor to me, especially in my first year after I had just moved out of my mom’s apartment. She knew that Seth was a firefighter who used to smoke pot. She knew that mom had been a teenage mother who’d ended up with two kids from two different men who hadn’t stuck around long enough to contribute in any way to our upbringing. She knew about the fact that music had been my saving grace from all the stuff that had happened in my childhood and adolescence. She knew about the fact that I was struggling to make ends meet and that I would probably be drowning in student loans once my degree was done.

She had been the one who had helped me apply for the scholarship I had received. So it was no wonder that where Professor Milton was concerned, I was blind. She could do no wrong in my eyes.

“I stayed with her for a couple of days,” I admitted. “But now I’m staying with Seth.”

Professor Milton looked at me searchingly. “You’re upset.”

I sighed. “I just have a lot on my plate at the moment. I don’t want to stay with Seth longer than I need to either.”

“Your brother loves you; I’m sure he doesn’t mind having you on his couch.”

“Seth doesn’t mind,” I explained. “But Cory does.”

Professor Milton frowned. “Who?”

“Oh… Cory is Seth’s girlfriend,” I said. “They recently moved in together.”

“I see…

“She doesn’t really like the fact that I’m staying with them,” I said. “I understand, the apartment is really small, and there’s not a whole lot of space for two people, let alone three… but she’s kind of passive-aggressive about me staying there, and it’s starting to get to me.”

“Have you started looking for apartments close by?”

“I have,” I nodded. “In fact, I downloaded this app that’s supposed to help me find apartments in the area according to my specifications and within my price range. I’ve got three hits so far, but there was still something wrong with each of them.”

“Hang in there,” Professor Milton told me. “This takes time…”

“I don’t have the luxury of time,” I sighed. “I don’t want to overstay my welcome at Seth’s… and I think I passed that point a few days ago… at least with Cory.”

“Is that why you’re upset?” Professor Milton asked. “Because you haven’t found a place yet?”

“It’s not just that,” I admitted. “I guess… I’m worried about the whole roommate situation too. I haven’t had the best luck with roommates, and this time it’s going to be different. I won’t have the option of switching out roommates when the year’s up. This is more of a permanent situation, and I’m terrified I’ll be stuck with someone awful.”

Professor Milton smiled. “Did you know that

that was how I met my husband?”

“Really?” I asked.

“Yup,” she nodded. “I was twenty-six, and I was looking for an apartment in the city. But I didn’t find any that I liked enough or that I could afford. But one day I answered this guy’s ad, and I showed up to view the apartment. That was the first time I met Danny Brady. Six months later we were dating, and four years after that we were married. We just celebrated our fourteenth wedding anniversary.”

“Wow… that is quite the love story.”

Professor Milton laughed. “Ha, far from it,” she said. “I didn’t like him at first.”

“No way.”

“Oh yeah.”

“But you moved in anyway?”

“I was desperate for a place to stay,” Professor Milton admitted. “And I suppose I just panicked and said yes. That decision turned out to be a blessing in disguise.”

“What was it about him that you didn’t like?” I asked.

“He was so anal about everything, whereas I liked a little mess around the house. I like a home that feels lived in. I don’t know… they were little things really, but when you’re total strangers and then suddenly you find yourself living together, it’s a lot to deal with. You’re forced to compromise, to be understanding and empathetic. You’re forced to adjust to other people’s habits, both annoying and otherwise. It’s a big ask, and I thought of moving out several times in the first few months.”

“What changed?” I asked.

“I came home one night from this truly disastrous date,” Professor Milton told me. “The guy was a complete asshole, and he insulted me at the end of the night when I refused his offer to take me out again. He was so vicious that I came home crying. Danny was there, and he was amazing… he made me feel better immediately. He put on my favorite movie, got me my favorite ice cream, and he sat with me the whole night.

“It was odd at first because we didn’t really have that kind of relationship but by midnight things had shifted between us and I realized we had gotten closer without my even realizing it. The next day I asked him if he could meet me for lunch in the city close to where I worked, and he agreed. That was the moment when we became more than just roommates. We became friends and from there… things evolved.”

“Did you ever have problems after you started dating him?” I asked.

“We had fights… the same fights we’d had as I moved in,” Professor Milton admitted. “But this time we were in love… so everything was bearable I suppose.”

“Thanks for sharing all that with me,” I said, realizing there was so much about Professor Milton’s life that I didn’t know.

“I’m sharing it with you because I want you to know that sometimes the things we dread the most can end up being… exactly what we need at the time,” she said. “Just hang in there and ride it out. Who knows… you might get something amazing from it.”

I thought about my belief in fate and what Professor Milton was telling me kind of fit into that belief system. “I’ll try and remember that.”

“In the meantime… how’s your music coming along?”

“Um… I’ve been procrastinating a little on my work,” I admitted. “In addition to finding a place to live, I also need to find a job so that I can afford a place to live.”

“Have you applied anywhere?”

“Denison’s Appliance Hut, the Waffle House, and Fresh Farm Ice Cream Parlor.”

“Ah, I know the owner of Fresh Farm,” Professor Milton told me. “I can put in a good word on your behalf.”

“Would you?” I asked. “I can use all the help I can get.”

“No problem; it’s done.”

I shook my head at her and smiled. “You really are my favorite professor.”

Professor Milton laughed. “Flattery… my old friend,” she joked. Then her tone grew a little more serious. “Just remember to spend time on your music too. I know you have a lot to deal with, but you need to focus on the things you’re passionate about. Feeding your soul is important.”

“Thanks,” I nodded.

After Professor Milton left, I turned back to the piano and started playing. Then I stopped and took out my phone. I set the recorder on and started playing once more. I let the notes flow out of me seamlessly. My hands moved where they wanted to. I didn’t think about the kind of melody I wanted to create. I just let it come without thinking about it… or anything else.

There was so much I wanted to achieve. I wanted to write great music, I wanted to play in concerts, and one day I wanted to teach music to a new generation and inspire young adults the way that Professor Milton had inspired and encouraged me. But my goals were not limited to my career alone. I wanted to have a family one day, I wanted to find a partner to raise children with. I wanted to create the kind of life for my kids that I had never had growing up.

It was odd, but somehow that seemed a more far-fetched dream than any of my career goals. I wondered if having a perfect little family of my own was too much to ask for. If I had to settle for music and music alone would I be content with that?

I felt my phone beep in my pocket, and I checked the alert. Apparently, the apartment finder app I had joined had found another potential match for me and had sent me a new address. I decided that I would make an appointment for tomorrow morning so that I could see the apartment and meet my potential roommate. I was nervous already.