Chapter 9

The Asylum at two a.m. should have been empty, but apparently Jamie wasn’t the only one who couldn’t sleep. Lawson sat in his usual seat, Curtis to his right, while Reed puttered behind the bar. Keiran and Matt had gone to bed. The floors had been washed, tables cleaned. Noah and Jared talked quietly on the couches in the corner the subs often claimed. Padding barefoot, acoustic guitar in hand, Jamie took up a seat at one of the hightops by the windows. It was rare that he went to bed before Noah and Jared. Rarer still that when he wandered downstairs to do some songwriting where he wouldn’t disturb anyone, that he found the bar full.

Plucking at his guitar strings, he closed his eyes, chin on the curve of wood as he found the notes that had been keeping him awake. A soft, sad, repetitive melody suggested lyrics that seemed almost to bloom from his subconscious. The ache in his heart, one he hadn’t felt in a long time. Loss. Loneliness.

A sense of leaving things behind that he couldn’t quite grasp and might never hold again.

He hummed the lyrics in his head, like he’d been doing all night in the D.J. booth, as he found the chords he wanted and strummed, cobbling the song together, bit by bit until he had it down. Lifting his head, eyes still closed, he sat back against the seat and sang louder, letting his voice fill the quiet space.

The last strains of the coda fell away, the final notes vibrating along his fingertips. Breathing deep, he felt wetness on his cheeks and used his sleeve over his hand to wipe it away before opening his eyes.

“Here.” Reed handed him a bottle of water, then rubbed his shoulder. “That was beautiful. I never thought I’d get a chance to see your music...quite like that.”

Taking the water, cool plastic slipping against his fingers, Jamie cleared his throat and took a sip. “Thanks. It was in my head. I couldn’t sleep.”

Reed slid onto the closest table, nodded. “Totally get the feeling. Rough night?”

On the hard seat, the deep ache in Jamie’s ass reminded him how he’d disappointed everyone, including himself. “Yeah. I just...this is home. It’s not perfect, but I didn’t want them here. Except it’s a business too. So I don’t really have a choice. And I screwed up.”

“You didn’t screw up, you lost your temper. You’ve seen me do it plenty. Hello, salsa king here?” Reed gave Jamie’s shoulder a light nudge. “It sucks that you got punished, but your Doms care enough to do it. And you’re right, this is home. Our home. He’s just passing through. This is Jacks we’re talking about. He’s probably already bored of him. And Shea doesn’t bother with subs that inexperienced, so two points against him right there.” He shrugged. “Just ignore him until he goes back to Broadway.”

Taking another sip of water, Jamie set his guitar on the table nearby, nodded his thanks. “You’re right, I know you are. I should have expected to see them again, but not here. I mean, Danny’s not even gay.”

Lollipop halfway to his mouth, Reed stared at him. “Oh, pop star, he’s definitely gay. Like, I don’t know how you didn’t hit that a long time ago. I’ve seen Jacks work fast, but damn.”

“Really?” Shock, not quite as strong as the brain freeze he’d gotten when he’d looked up to see Danny standing in front of him, buzzed out Jamie’s thoughts. “I never… He dated girls. Not as many as Trevor, but they were there. And he never, you know?” Jamie shrugged, looking for a thought that might gel his mental quicksand. “I can’t believe he’d still be friends with Trevor after what he did, if he was.”

“Believe it, because the boy’s dearly queerly.” Reed lifted his shoulders. “Straight guys don’t actually let you suck their dicks. People say they do, but nope. He’s deep in the closet, but he slipped out tonight. Or...more like tripped out and fell on Jacks’ face.”

Jamie’s mouth worked. “Da fu—? He didn’t!”

Brow arched, Reed gave him a level look. “Wanna bet I can get a recording from Rhodey if I ask really nicely?”

“No.” Rhodey’s voice was really clear, but where he’d appeared from wasn’t. “And if you ask Wren I’m beating all three of you. Avery, keep an eye on them while I go yell at Keiran.”

Yeah, Jamie did not need bruises on his bruises. He wasn’t sure, but he wouldn’t be surprised if someone told him the black leather of Lawson’s paddle covered a thin strip of lead. “He already went to bed, sir. I saw him on my way down.”

“Oh, well there goes all my fun. He actually listened. Good boy.” Rhodey tipped his head back. “Come down before you fall asleep up there again.”

Slithering off one of the beams, Avery rolled into Rhodey’s outstretched arms, grinning sleepily. “Yes, sir.”

“I’m going to bed. No one try to kill anyone until morning.” Rhodey glanced over at Noah and Curtis. “Save the entertainment for when I’m not sober.”

Curtis saluted Rhodey with two fingers. “You missed it already anyway. Jamie was caterwauling in the corner before you came in.”

“For fuck’s sakes, Curtis.” Noah glared at him. “You trying out for asshole of the year? How ‘bout you shut it.”

“Uh…” Jamie looked to Reed, wincing. “Sorry.”

Lips thinning as he pressed his lollipop to them, Reed leaned close, then spoke softly. “Don’t be. It’s like moon phases or some shit. Tons of fun.”

Jamie frowned, then bit his lip, snickering. “Are you saying our Doms have shark week? Or are they werewolves?”

Cocking his head, Reed let out a soft laugh. “Tracey’s never nasty at those times—she just likes baking more chocolate stuff. Werewolves would be cool. It’s just moody Dom syndrome. No known cure, just keeping your head down and ass out of reach.”

“Too late for that.” Jamie gave him a meaningful look. “I’d say blowjobs would help, but Noah’s so not in the mood after tonight. I’m half afraid that he’s going to believe Trevor and Danny’s line of bullshit. I mean, what would ever possess me to work with either of them again? I have a career, two careers, and a husband. Two Doms. Wren. My dance card is fucking full.”

Reed shot him a mischievous smirk. “You wanted revenge sex? Hell if I know what anyone else thinks, but I believe you. And from what I heard about how much Noah dug in his heels against you getting punished at all? So does he.”

Yeah, that was totally true. Even Jamie knew he hadn’t deserved to be defended that hard, but Noah had an epic sense of fair play. Like, emotions happen, and Jamie’s in that moment? He couldn’t have controlled them even if he’d wanted to. Of course, doubling down on the swearing had been a terrible idea.

“So, what do you suggest? You’re good at keeping the mood light around here.” Jamie glanced at his guitar. “Should I write some songs full of bawdy limericks?”

“Hey, you know I love your stuff. I’m good with whatever you want to play.” Reed glanced over as Lawson snapped his fingers, approaching with Curtis at his side. “Sir?”

Lawson smiled at Jamie, then brushed his hand over Reed’s hair. “We’re heading up. I don’t mind if you want to stay down here with Jamie for a bit, but make sure you get some sleep or you’re going to be having a conversation with Jared about why you’re having trouble, understand?”

Tongue pressed into his bottom lip, Reed looked from Lawson to Curtis. “I’m not. I’m just sleeping in intervals. Like...some kind of animal I can’t think of. But I’ll work on it, I promise.”

Curtis ran his fingers through Reed’s curls, leaning in to brush a kiss over his lips. “Come to bed soon. I can’t sleep without you there.”

“Yes, sir.” Reed smiled up at him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Giving one of his curls a tweak so it bounced, Curtis smiled back. “You’re my boy.”

“Always, sir.” Reed watched them go, not speaking again until the door to the stairs closed behind them. He plunked down on his back on the table and dropped his arm over his eyes. “At least I managed to get through the night without pissing him off. Shea and Jacks did it instead. And it’s hard to blame them, kinda. But at the same time...I don’t know. They should’ve fucking eased off.”

Picking up his guitar again, Jamie strummed softly as he listened to Reed. “Was there something besides Danny—” He scraped his tongue over his teeth, making a face. “—that set them all on each other?”

“Not that I can think of. Curtis usually dresses on the right when something’s eating at him, but he doesn’t always want to talk about it. So I just…” Reed slid his arm off his eyes. “Try to be supportive—make sure no one gets on his case. And I try to be extra good so Lawson doesn’t get stressed out either. Dealing with a newbie sub in that headspace might’ve been tricky for him. I don’t know. The timing was shit.”

“Huh…” It wasn’t really Jamie’s business, but he couldn’t quite picture someone going submissive because they were bothered by something. Sure, in his more confident moments, he could go all Toppy on Wren, but he’d still pick Noah’s control over his own any day. “I’m not sure why people get on Curtis’s case like that. I wonder what Danny even thought. Probably he didn’t know what the hell was going on. He’s never been...yeah. He never joined in when Trev and I got all bawdy.”

“It’s not...I mean, Danny wasn’t really doing anything. I was messing around. Things just…” Reed dropped his lollipop in his mouth, the candy clunking against his teeth as he spoke around it. “Went off the fucking rails.”

From the leather sofas, where he sat with Noah, Jared targeted Reed with his stare, seeming to consider something as he looked from Noah to Reed and back.

Whispering, Jamie leaned in. “Bat Ears is listening. Careful about the swearing.”

“Ugh.” Reed stuck his lollipop to one side of his mouth, speaking under his breath. “Thanks. I’m trying not to slip up, but I keep forgetting stupid stuff. You know when you’re all frustrated and try really hard and everything still goes wrong?”

God, do I ever.