Chapter 10

“Yep. Seems like every time I get my life in order, some raving lunatic papzz prints something about me that I have to explain away. Or blows up someone else’s life, like yours. I know—” Jamie held up a hand. “—boo hoo, poor me. It’s still frustrating as fu—” He glanced at Jared, who still stared at them, and sighed. “You get me.”

Reed frowned at him. “Dude, I don’t think I’ve ever ‘boo hooed’ you. I get you. I love this place, but as much as everyone thinks I get away with everything, they seem to ignore there’s not a single Dom here who won’t punish me if I step outta line. They might hesitate if Noah’s around, or they think Curtis or Lawson will deal with me, but I spent a long time making sure I get treated like every other sub. And when I’m not it just makes things worse because then someone’s got it in their mind to prove something.” He rolled his eyes. “The only one who’s tripped more than I am is Keiran and he hardly ever leaves the kitchen.”

Jamie strummed a discordant note, growling under his breath. “I have no clue why half the Doms here act like they’re seventh graders. I mean, c’mon. If you can’t get a blowjob without a club apology, maybe you need to work on your pickup lines, or oral hygiene, or stop eating the chili fries until you drop bombs in the bathroom that can be detected from space.”

Laughter burst past Reed’s lips before he covered his mouth, eyes glistening. “True, but it’s a game to them. A fu-fruitloops-ed—damn it, that doesn’t flow right—up game, but it’s a way to get the unobtainable subs. I was a prime piece.” His lips slanted. “Poor things.”

Jamie’s lips slanted as he leaned in. “Dude. You’re still a prime piece. I’d do you if it weren’t so freaking weird.” He snorted. “I don’t know what that says about me though. Nobody’s ever tried to trip me. Or pinch me.” He looked around toward his sore ass, trying to glimpse it. “Is my butt too skinny? Too fat?”

“Oh come off it, Hollywood. You’re definitely doable. People enjoy living.” Reed hung his head over the side of the table. “You’ve got the two scariest dudes watching over you at all times. And everyone knows it. Difference is, both Curtis and Lawson were there when I was playing the field. So it kinda slides by. I just gotta figure out how to manage the members without getting in trouble. I’ll probably get there before I can follow Keiran’s recipe for rolls. You have to wait forever before they’re ready to bake. It’s torture.”

“Heh. But so worth it, right?” Jamie strummed a few more chords, playing with the melody to the tune he’d written tonight. “I don’t understand why people aren’t afraid Noah will erase them if they disrespect you? I never thought about it before, but I don’t think twice about walking through this place with my head up most of the time, unless I make someone’s day in the bet books by getting my face slapped or my ass caned.” He waggled his brows. “I peeked. And Noah would never do that. Some poor bastard is going to lose a lot of money.”

Reed snorted. “Yup. But I told you, people know the deal. Noah doesn’t interfere when it comes to stuff with me here. Everyone knows that.”

Yeah, but…

“Do you want him to?” Jamie stopped strumming. “Would it be easier for you if he did? Or harder?”

“Definitely harder.” Reed lowered his voice even more, though he’d already been speaking too quietly for even Jared to hear. “Do you know the problems that would cause between Noah and Lawson? No thanks. I got this. For real.”

Jamie sighed softly, wishing there was something he could do. “It seems a crappy thing to have to deal with. I can’t think Lawson would want you to be having those experiences if there was something Noah could do, but I feel you. I won’t say anything.”

Rolling over, knees bent, Reed rested his chin on his folded arms. “Enough about club drama. We need to do something soon. Ez sent me this really cool drawing as an apology for taking off without saying goodbye. I think I wanna get it put on a shirt or something.”

“Oh, that’s freaking awesome. Do you have a pic of it on your phone?” Jamie put his guitar aside again. “I’ve been thinking about asking him to design an album cover for me.”

“Yeah.” Reed pulled his phone out of the back pocket of his blue jeans, unlocking it and finding the picture before holding it out. “It’s cool, right?”

The goth-style graphic shimmered from Reed’s phone screen, a lollipop skull with thrills of color that almost seemed to vibrate without moving at all. Jamie whistled low. “That’s some flipping talent right there.”

Eyes filled with pride, Reed nodded. “He’s always been a natural. And it’s something personal, so I know he genuinely is sorry. Not that I was really mad. He needs his space and that’s okay. As long as he’s doing something he loves.”

“Definitely.” Licking his lips, Jamie cleared his throat. “You know...I have a visual artist in residence opening. It’s blind applications, so I wouldn’t even know if it was Ez who applied… Do you think he’d be interested?”

Reed’s smile faded. “That would be awesome, but honestly… I doubt it. He’s not...ready to stick around. I’m not sure he’ll ever be. I’ll tell him about it, but I won’t hold my breath.”

“Sure.” That was understandable, given what the guy had been through. “You do know Garet’s on a date tonight? Went to some other leather club with a guy who used to be part of the gang and got out. I don’t think Matt knows.”

Pressing his eyes shut, Reed sighed. “Garet will tell him if he wants him to. Not much we can do about it, he’s an adult.” He pushed to a sitting position. “I think I’m gonna go mess with one of the recipes Keiran said I’ve gotta get perfect before I can take over some of his shifts. I get why he likes cooking so much. It’s a good distraction.”

Jamie stood, holding out his arms a little from his side—a gesture Reed could pretend he didn’t see if he didn’t want a hug. “Good night. Thanks for hanging out.”

“Yeah.” Reed paused, that bright smile everyone always expected from him on his lips, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “We’ve got to do it again sometime soon. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Sleep well.” Standing back, Jamie watched Reed go, then picked up his guitar, tuning it a little as he thought about bed. He might be able to sleep now.

Moving toward the sofa, he gauged the moment to offer his ‘good night’, gaze down, waiting for Noah to acknowledge him so he wouldn’t interrupt the Doms’ quiet conversation.

“Hey, my love.” Noah picked Jamie up, pulling him into his lap and cuddling him close. “Are you planning to release another album to shove it in those fuckers’ faces? I approve, but just don’t stretch yourself too thin.”

Jamie smiled into Noah’s neck, breathing in his clean, spicy scent. “No, sir. Just writing. I save them up and pick the best ones. I couldn’t sleep until I got this one down.” Lifting his head, he met Jared’s ice-blue eyes. “Looks like I wasn’t the only one. Everything okay, sirs?”

Jared’s brows rose. “It’s fine, boy. You can rest easy.”

Noah kissed Jamie’s cheek. “We can head up whenever you’re ready.” He glanced toward the galley, shaking his head. “And Rhodey was going to tell Keiran off. Hopefully, he took one of his sleeping pills. He won’t be thrilled about Reed taking up those kinds of bad habits.”

Arms looped around Noah’s neck, Jamie leaned back. “Bad habits? Not sleeping? I thought Keiran did that because bakers need bread for toast in the morning.”

“Yeah…” Noah shook his head. “I’m sure you’re right.”

“So... It’s not…” Licking his lips, Jamie ignored the slight cutting motion Jared made with his hand. “You’re not worried about Curtis and Reed?”

Jaw tightening, Noah kept his gaze fixed on the door for a moment. Finally tore his gaze away, shaking his head. “It’s none of my business. I promised I wouldn’t get between them and I won’t. Reed’s working hard to learn the skills he needs to take over. I’m sure that’s all it is.”

“Can I—” Jamie began.

Cut off by Jared’s “No.”

Jamie blinked, sitting back. It was just a question.

Why can’t I ask it?

“Because sometimes you just obey. All right, boy?” Jared’s tone was firm but not unkind. “Go to sleep and Noah will be up shortly.”

A frown marring his brow, Noah held Jared’s gaze. Inhaled before cupping Jamie’s cheek to give him a deep kiss. He smiled against his lips. “I’ll be right up. You’ve been through enough tonight, I’m sure you’re exhausted. We can talk about it more if it’s stressing you out. I hope you don’t let Danny and Trevor get to you too much though. They’re not worth losing sleep over.”

“Yes, sir.” Jamie pretended to agree, because Danny and Trevor weren’t worth discussing. It was Reed, and Curtis a little, that he worried about more right now. Whatever was going on, Jared clearly didn’t want Jamie asking about, messing with, or inserting himself into.

Jared’s “Good boy,” settled him.

“Good night. See you upstairs.” Jamie kissed Noah, then Jared, slipping out of the bar much as he’d slipped in.

Upstairs, he paused on the fourth-floor landing. Wren to the right, nobody to the left. He had no idea which one to choose. If Jared and Noah wanted to be alone, then Noah and his bedroom would work better, but he didn’t want Noah to feel like he’d abandoned him.

He groaned.

Why are relationships so fucking complicated?

Deciding, he turned left, switching the lights on low, and leaving the guitar by the coat closet. Stripping as he went, then folding his clothes, he finished by shoving them away in his drawers much as he did his day. In bed, naked, he enjoyed the cool sheets, the way they felt against his overheated ass. Why he’d never slept naked when he was single he wasn’t sure. Before Noah, it’d felt weird. Now?

Clothes in bed made him feel constricted. Cut off.

But, lying in the dark, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t close the door on thoughts of Danny, and even Trevor. Of what might have been if things hadn’t ended the way they did.

But they had, and no amount of music or apology could change one simple fact.

There is no going back.