Prologue

Marcel xx Pov

Dear Diary,

Today is Monday – again, that means i have to face my bullies, the beating, the name callings and many more stuff that I’m already used to. I don’t mind though, I’m already used to it. Having to be in the same school as ‘him’ is worth the hate, seeing his face makes me forget the bad things that are happening in my life, i sound so cheesy and cliché, eh, I’ll just put it into the pile of things that i hate about myself next to being ugly and being gay.

-M x

I stood up from my desk and slowly made my way to the bathroom, looking at my reflection in the mirror analyzing every feature of my face, My curly hair is messy, i don’t have my glasses on, my emerald green eyes shining more vibrantly.

Gemma, my sister, says i need to lose the glasses and wear my hair like this, and maybe style it more trendy looking, more like it came from this generation, but i won’t do that, i like my hairstyle and i like wearing glasses, I’m not changing anything about myself, even if people tell me it’s for the best.

I grab my toothbrush and toothpaste and brushed my teeth, i always took time to brush my teeth, i don’t want to talk to people with smelly breath or smile with stuff between my teeth, I quickly showered and went outside and picked my clothes, i look at myself in the mirror once again.

Sighing, I thought of people who continuously teased me about my “disgusting” taste of clothing, but i don’t mind, i got used to it. I don’t have to change anything about myself, I am already ugly, i don’t need to waste my time on trying to change ... me.

I slowly made my way downstairs, a note taped on the fridge caught my eyes, it was Gemma who left me a note simply saying. “Marcel there is leftover food in the fridge I’ll be gone for 3 weeks sorry i didn’t tell you sooner good luck and if you ever need money there is money in the safe at the attic –Gemma”

Sighing for like the hundredth time, I slowly got my food and ate it slowly taking my time, I glance at my wristwatch and saw it was already 6:45 am, the school doesn’t start until 7:30, I have enough time.

I strapped my bag behind me and walked at the path to school, I always tried to think about things that i need to do for the day, but somehow i always get distracted by thinking of him. I saw the school gates and walked cautiously, I don’t want to meet any of my bullies today, not this early please, but i know even if i begged God for it, it wouldn’t happen

And i was right when i heard footsteps behind me and a raspy voice shouts “Hey, Nerd, finished my project yet?” Zayn Malik, one of my bullies said behind me. I turn around and shuffled my bag for his project “Yeah, Zayn I did here ...“ I quickly pulled the neatly book bonded file i stayed up all night doing.

“For once in your life, you did it right, now walk away, unless you want to be punched again,” He said i shuffle away from him quickly running as fast as i can to the front doors of the school, the school was packed even if it’s early, and i hate it, I quickly made my way to the janitor’s closet ignoring the names they kept calling me with.

Fag, gay, queer, ugly, skinny fuck, nerd, teacher’s slut

I open the door and block the door with a broom from the inside, i slid in the corner, the smell of wax and cleaning supplies itched on my nose as i hear laughter coming from the outside, and hear my own cries, that no one would care about.

Dear Diary,

Sitting here in the Janitor’s closet floor –Again, I met Zayn earlier; he didn’t punch me though like the last time, which is good, aside from all of this, I haven’t seen ‘him’ yet, maybe i will eventually. I just need to see him, seeing him makes me stronger, makes me feel a lot ... better, i just need to see him to go through today, he is now the only reason why i still go to school, except to study and graduate. I just wish that my day wouldn’t get any worse.

-M x

I hear the bell rang indicating class is about to start, I got out of the closet (lol no pun intended) the hallway is already empty, as i walk to my first class my feet echoed the now empty floors, my heart was beating fast i don’t even know why

I walk to the open door of the classroom seeing bags were already put in every desk, the teacher isn’t here yet though which is good, me being unlucky, the only chair vacant was beside Niall Horan and Liam Payne, the other bullies i have in this school.

I sat there ignoring their flirting with each other, I don’t mind them flirting though, because they’re already dating, but they aren’t hated, because of him, Liam is related to him, and Niall is his best friend.

He is the most popular guy in school, he is rich, powerful and people love him because he isn’t bad, he doesn’t bully anyone, but he doesn’t help people who get bullied either, he’s just ... there, that’s why if you’re good friends with him, you won’t have anything bad said to you, about you or done to you.

I look at the both of them, I was a little envious of their openness with each other, and also the fact that they aren’t beat up for being gay, makes me envy them more “What are you looking at freak?” Niall asked glaring at me, Liam snickered and whispered something to Niall, I just stared at my hands that were placed on the desk.

I felt two hands placed on each of my inner thighs, i flinched, what the hell are they doing? This is making me uncomfortable, I know I’m gay, but that doesn’t mean i want them to touch me. “You like this don’t you?” Liam asked trying to be seductive, it just came out repulsive.

“No” I muttered under my breath, they just laughed and Liam smacked my head, I flinch at the pain. “Stop trying to act innocent Marcel, the whole school knows your gay, but WE know your gay for Liam’s cousin,” Niall said

I gulped

“Someday, he will know about this, and everyone will know how pathetic you are, too bad you aren’t friends with him or at least with us because if you were, you won’t get bullied,” Liam said laughing with Niall again. I hate them so much.

They stood up wiping their hands, disgusted, and made their way to the front, forcing two other people out of their chairs. The two people made their way to my seat they sat beside me one on each side and simply smiled ... they smiled, at me?

“Hi,” The one with the brownish hair said, he sounds Australian. I nod at him, he chuckled “Don’t be shy, we’re not like the others, we’re kind of new here, I’m Ashton Irwin” Ashton said, the guy with the blonde hair and dimples like mine said offering his hand, I gladly took it and smiled

I shake his hands slowly “I’m Marcel Styles, Nice to meet you” “I’m Calum Hood, we’re transfer students, we’re glad you didn’t think of us as another one of your bullies, we four, are very nice to be bullies, to be honest,” Calum said chuckling at Ashton who’s throwing paper at the other two people seated in front of us

“Four?” I asked them confused; i only see two of them. They nod and thumped the heads of the two people in front of us, one has pink hair and one has blonde hair that is styled in a quiff

“Hi, I’m Michael Clifford and this is Luke Hemmings,” the pink-haired lad called Michael said, and gestured at his blonde friend I smiled shyly and muttered “I’m Marcel” they smiled back. The teacher came and discussed some things; I took down notes of everything, focusing on every word so that i won’t miss anything important.

The bell rang and our teacher Ms. Teasdale walked out, I sighed knowing lunch is next “Hey Marcel want to go eat with us?” Luke asked i stare at him dumbfounded, I never got asked that question before, I nod and smiled, for once i was happy with my new friends.

We went to the cafeteria and we sat down on the table for 6 people, Ashton and Calum went to buy our food, while Michael and Luke stayed behind and asked me a bunch of questions “So Marcel do you have a girlfriend?” Michael asked, I gulped

I shook my head “I don’t have a girlfriend, I don’t particularly like girls” I said nervously Luke chuckled “oh so you’re gay then?” Luke asked I looked away seeing Ashton and Calum sat next to me, they heard what Luke said and was also curious.

“Yeah I am, hope you guys don’t mind,” I said nervously, i was about to get up when i hear them laugh loud “Marcel, do you really think we’ll mind if you’re gay or not?” Calum asked I shrug “I don’t know it’s just that it’s the main reason why i get bullied anyways,” I said making them stop from laughing

They all looked at me with sympathy and worry “Oh, Marcel, we would never be as close-minded as them, we respect everything that makes you happy, we really don’t mind” Ashton said making me smile, I ate my food quickly, and excused myself to the loo.

I found the nearest one and went inside, as i walk towards the stalls, i see two people making out at the corner, and i felt my heart shatter into pieces, It was him, kissing Stan the guy from the football team, the person who made me genuinely happy is kissing another guy, Louis Tomlinson is kissing the biggest douche in school.

I ignored their moans and went to the first stall away from them, I lock the door quietly and sat down, shivering and sobbing quietly i put both of my hands on my mouth to stop my sobbing from getting louder, i pull out my diary and wrote

Dear Diary,

Guess what ... my heart is now shattered in millions of pieces here in the bathroom of our school, why? Because i just saw Louis, the person that made me happy, the person who made me strong, kissing Stan the biggest douche in our school, i didn’t even know Stan was gay. This day is officially the worst day of my life. If only he knew, if only i had the guts to say to him I love you, if only Louis knew ... -M x

I sobbed once again, i covered my ears and i heard a loud stomp, quickly replaced with the sound of the doors opening and closing, maybe they finally finished. I open the door and gasped at the sight in front of me.

Louis was splattered all over the floor, he was sweaty and a bruise was forming in his jaw, My heart kicked in, as i quickly carry him bridal styles and run as fast as i can ignoring my friends calls ignoring Zayn, Liam and Niall staring at me shocked, ignoring everyone’s whispers, ignoring everything around me.

I just focused one thing only, to make Louis safe

I need him to be safe, I need to get the love of my life safe, i need Louis

I love Louis

“Louis ... hold on for me ... I love you” I whispered, tears pricking in my eyes, seeing the nurse’s office at the end of the hallway

“Louis, hold on babe, hold on” I whispered one more time, He flutters his eyes open and whispered

“Harry ... don’t go”

Who’s Harry?