5. He was so nice

Flickering my eyes open, my vision was still blurry. A blanket was pulled over my body, my hair- my hair was in my face. I never put my hair down even though whenever I did. I received so many compliments. There was an empty space beside me, it was a single bed; what did I expect? I smiled at the thought of yesterday... Eric was actually being nice to me. I stood up yawning like an animal, thank God he wasn't here to witness that.

Why do you care so much? My subconscious mocked.

This was going to far, I needed to stop. I thought to myself. I had a beautiful dream that Eric had been playing with my hair. He softly ran his fingers through it. It was a good feeling I thought to myself.

Looking for a hair tie around, I immediately found one on my desk. I had a stack of those because my hair was always in a ponytail. It suited me best. My eyes then flickered to a diary looking journal that laid there. I didn't waste time opening it.

I immediately cringed.

- By twenty-five I should be married

- Laura will my my maid of honor obviously.

- By twenty six I should have little Robbie's running around.

- Robbie wants three kids, I want just one but I will give him whatever he wants.

This was disgusting, I was so naive.

I continued flickering to the rest of the pages and what I saw reminded me of that regretful day. I never wanted to think about but I had to let my feelings out.. reason being why I write it down.

- Dear Diary

Robbie says if I don't sleep with him, it would be best if we break up. I'm not ready, I'm scared but I love him and I don't want to lose him. His parents know my parents and I know his parents, he is the perfect boyfriend. It might not be on our wedding night but we will get married eventually so why not just give it to him now. Laura thinks Robbie is being manipulative but I get his frustration, we're both nineteen year old virgins or so he told me. I trust him x

Leona

I didn't want to flick to the next page because I knew that I would not be able to hold back my tears. It was an event I didn't ever want to remember but for Robbie's sake.. I use to suck it up.

Dear Diary

Father God, forgive me for I have sinned. I have disappointed you and my parents.

Sex is overrated, I hated it. I hate sex. It was so painful. Laura had said after two thrusts it's an easy ride but no it was painful throughout. I told Robbie, I wanted to stop but he wouldn't stop. He just kept saying 'just a bit more my love' My heart always softened at that nickname. He was rough. He hit my ass continuously until it was red and stings every time I sit down. He grabbed my breasts roughly as well. This was not what I expected. We had done it after the church service. There was a meeting at the church so we went to his house before his parents came back.

I'm just scared I might be pregnant. Robbie refused to use a condom. He said we were both pure. I trust him. He pulled out at the right time. It made me wonder how he seemed so experienced with this. We didn't even cuddle after sex, he said I needed to get dressed, his parents would be home soon. My thighs and my vagina hurt for the last couple of days.

I played sick for a while.

I know Robbie plans on us having sex again. I just want to make him happy.

Leona

I quickly ripped these pages off my journal. Tore them into small tiny pieces. How could I ever have been so naive? What did I even love about Robbie? Because I had never been treated right, I always stood with any crap he fed me. Thinking about it made the part between my legs hurt.

"Leo?"

That's was my mom's voice.

Did she just call me Leo?

What was Eric doing to my life?

"Coming.." I went to my ensuite bathroom. I quickly washed my face and looked at the image in front of me. I was a strong woman, even after the way Robbie wronged me. I still stand tall not broken.

Maybe you just hide your broken pieces well?

In my lose fitting pajama pants. I made my way downstairs. Where I found my mom and Eric in the Kitchen. My mom was chopping opinions and Eric was on the stove. I was a bit taken aback. My father sat on the kitchen table with his reading glasses and his morning paper.

"There you're!" My mom brought me out of my thoughts.

"She has always been a heavy sleeper." She added making Eric chuckle.

"Morning Snowflake." My dad peaked his head away from the paper and I greeted him back with a kiss on the cheek, like I have done ever since I was a little girl.

"Morning mom, Eric." I said softly.

"Come here, Leo love." Eric said with a smile on his face. My mom simply smiled. I walked over to where he was standing and he gave me a perk on the cheek before whispering 'slept well?'

I didn't know if he was pretending but if he was then I would also give him a five star rating.

"Yep." I replied.

He pulled me in for another hug and what he said knocked the air right out of my lungs.

"The next time I see Robert, he won't live to see tomorrow." He then pulled away smiling with his beautiful pearly whites. Right there and there, I knew my journal was only out in the open because he had read it.

I felt embarrassed.

"Ricky are these greens enough?" My mom asked and Eric nodded. So everyone could call him Ricky but me. What scared me the most was how attached my family was already becoming. It was just a three month job, he won't ever see them after that.

"Ricky,so you mind running my errands. I have the whole Saturday at work today." My dad sighed. "You could take one of the cars we don't usually use, figured you just recently arrived and haven't had time to rent a car." My father said thoughtfully.

"No, problem Mr. Winters." Eric said.

His eyes flickered towards me and then I quickly looked away. Going to take a seat next to my dad, I asked him what was new while Eric and my mom made breakfast and conversed with each other.

Was it bad, I wish this was real?

That morning we had breakfast as a family and laughed at Eric's childhood stories. Everyone was just so happy and carefree but at the back of my head stood that thought.

Eric Michelson knew.

—

Turns out.

My parents took a huge liking to Eric that they convinced us both, that he needed to take his luggage from the hotel and sign out. He would be staying in our family home which made me feel over the edge because my parents would be able to scrutinize our fake relationship and point out certain things. I enjoyed being around Eric but he made me nervous and I never knew exactly what to reply to his witty comments. I thought I would hate his stay here but-

Change of plans.

"So ?" I looked at Eric who was driving one of my fathers many Mercedes Benz which he never allowed me to drive but here Eric was.

"So what Leo?" Eric turned to look away from the busy streets of LA to where I awkwardly sat in the passenger seat. He had his window opened so he could have a smoke. I absolutely hated it. It made me cough and he only laughed and exhaled more in my face.

"So what are your plans after we fetch your things from the hotel?"

"Well for starters, I have a car for three months so I get to pick up a few lady's... for fucks sake Leo, I haven't been laid in a while-"

My cheeks went beetroot red. One thing about Eric was he never held his tongue back. He didn't intend to be funny but he was. He was funny without knowing it.

"Blue balls equates to period pains, darling." He said blowing smoke in my face while his other hand was steady on the staring wheel. I didn't know if his endearments were genuine or he loved making fun of me.

"No, that's an absolute lie." I protested.

"Have you ever slept facing the ceiling because your dick wouldn't go down? No, I think not." He said his eyes steady on the road.

I gasped.

"A cold shower.."

This made him laugh hysterically, he had a contagious laugh... it had me smile but hey what was funny?

"You read too many novels." He laid back on his seat. The song mess around by the band cage the elephant came on. We were on a high way and Eric was driving way too fast for my liking. His wavy jet black curls were being blown by the wind and he looked so sexy. Clenching his jaw, he let his cigarette go through the window. I didn't know if that was allowed but I wouldn't question him. He absolutely loved arguing with me.

When I was about to argue with him he turned up the volume, making me keep my mouth shut. Clearly he didn't want to talk to me.

"No no no she don't mess around.."

"You know she don't mess around.."

"Ahh she don't mess around.."

Eric sang under his breath. His husky voice sounded so sexy, I found myself wanting to record him. I had a clear view of his sharp jaw and all I could think about was could he be anymore perfect. No wonder he was corky, he clearly knew it.

Suddenly he raised his hand, I didn't know what was his intention but when he reached for my hair tie, I yelped.

"What are you doing Michelson!"

"Live a little Leo, I can't be driving with you while your hair is like that. People may think you're my secretary." He winked at me.

"Let your hair down just this once." He pouted and I couldn't help it.

"Fine."

"No, she don't mess around.." He sang giving me another wink.

"Loosen up, this is my favorite song and guess what I will be nice enough to dedicate it to you.. because you're a feisty one from the first day I met you."

My heart melted.

So I let my hair down.

All along he hadn't noticed that I had removed my hair tie since he was concentrated on the road and singing his silly song. This wasn't my type of music but I liked it.

Only because he dedicated it to me.

It was quiet as Eric drove then he suddenly turned to look at me. I swear he did a double take. He then muttered "Beautiful." Under his breath. I shyly looked away. I didn't noticed his large hand putting a strand behind my ear, I muttered a thank you before looking at window. I could feel him glancing at me, here and there. It made me feel-

I don't know.

I don't know this feeling.

But I liked it.

-

I sat on the huge king sized bed from Mariston hotel, browsing on my phone not really browsing but watching Eric pick his clothes and pretending to be on my phone. He had on a white shirt that showed his tattoos and black skinny jeans that suit him perfectly and of course boots.

"Will you be able to tolerate my parents... living under the same roof and all?" I asked him then he turned around and gave me a smirk.

"The only person I can't tolerate is Robert." He said and my face immediately changed. Here we go again this conversation, I dreaded it.

I kept quiet and pretending to be on my phone, going to the alarm clock and just keeping busy.

"You know what he did was rape right?" Eric said once more.

I rolled my eyes and looked away.

"Did you have sex with him again?" Eric asked.

"It is none of your business, Eric Michelson." It seemed whenever I was mad, I felt the need to say his full name. "You has no right to go snooping around my things." I added standing up, I slipped my phone in my jeans back pocket. My hair was irritating me so I was about to tie it when Eric stopped me.

"Don't."

"It's my hair, I do whatever I want." I yelled at him. He walked closer to where I stood, his height towered over me. I felt nervous.

"I love it when it's down." He whispered and I gulped. He was looking at my lips. I didn't move... as he lowered his head down. It felt like hours when it was merely seconds. I wanted to know what it felt like to have his lips on mine even if it was for a few seconds. He stared at my green eyes with an intense emotion. Something flickered in them making him clear his throat and pull away.

"Yeah sure, tie your hair.. leave it down do whatever you want. I was just trying to help you look appealing so you could attract much better guys than Robert." He turned back.

I was hurt.

Why was I a cry baby?

I stomped my feet and yelled.

"I'm going to the car." I know he didn't miss the sound of my voice breaking at the end. I couldn't do this to myself. I thought as I made my way to the elevator. Do I ever learn? Robbie broke my heart and here I am having expectations of my hired boyfriend. I didn't want to imagine what it would be like when he goes-

He had only been here for merely two weeks and had colored my whole world into fun. When he goes away.. it would be back to boring old me. I couldn't imagine not having him around. I needed to stay away from him.. I couldn't let myself be more attached. I was better than this.

I mean I am, right?